franberryficz

[franberryficz]

[franberryficz]

still thinking about that r/hypotheticalsituation post where someone was like "what if a potato chip spawned somewhere randomly in the world. and every hour the number of potato chips at that location would double. and the only way to get rid of them for good would be to eat all of the potato chips before they doubled again." and someone calculated that it would only take like, 48 hours of people ignoring a weird pile of potato chips before an absolutely irreconcilable number of potato chips was blanketing a city.

and then people were like "no wait if it spawns randomly in the world, it's highly likely it would be in an ocean" and then people were debating whether there were enough small fish swimming at the surface in the open ocean that would be able to eat a potato chip and thus save humanity from the potato chip apocalypse.

[franberryficz]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[franberryficz]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[franberryficz]

Great idea: A nature documentary about the most scientifically accurate, realistic, and lovingly rendered dinosaurs, but it's narrated by just some guy who knows nothing about dinosaurs and is also really fucking high. Like just going

"Holy shit look at this guy. Fuck look at that fella. It's like a parrot with fingers. It could probably open a coke can. Look at him go."

Dinosaur: KAAA! :V

[moved to tears] "Holy shit you're so right little dude. No idea what you're saying but you're so right."

[franberryficz]

sometimes i feel ive got to

[franberryficz]

Not cis,

Not trans,

But a secret...evil third thing.

[franberryficz]

funny story so

lowkey guys, not doing too hot. I'm turning 19 tomorrow as I'm writing this, and I've had a lot of weird feelings lately. I'm an unemployed college dropout living with my boyfriend. All I do is write, read, exercise, go to protests and bother my friends. I feel sort of lost in life. Which I know is absolutely normal, not just at my age but in life. It's such a surreal feeling, becoming the age you never thought you'd live to see. Also, Tumblr's algorithm really isn't doing it for me these days. All the ads are driving me insane. I'll probably be on a hiatus from writing long multi chapter fics for a while. Maybe a one shot every few weeks or so, but I've got some things to work out. Probably gonna head back to therapy.

Oh also I don't think I'm cis.

ANYWHO

toodles! I'll be back!

[franberryficz]

a feel like the new generation of fanfic readers NEED to understand that clicking on a fic (interaction) does nothing. ao3 has no algorithm. your private discord discussions of fic do not reach the authors. if you do not actively engage with writers they will stop posting. this isn’t social media this is community.

[franberryficz]

Reading my own fanfiction is basically just a rollercoaster of emotional whiplash.

20% of the time: “Hold on. I wrote this? This is fire. This is emotionally devastating in the best way. This scene is dripping with tension. I’m a literary perfectionist. Someone give me a book deal.”

80% of the time: “Straight to jail. Immediate prison. Why is everyone’s breath hitching?. I used the word ‘gaze’ three times in one paragraph like I was possessed. Did I think 'his eyes darkened' was profound? Why is everyone clenching their jaws? Why is someone whispering 'their name like a prayer' again?? No one talks like this. What is this dialogue. Why are there so many weird metaphors and em-dashes…”

[franberryficz]

[franberryficz]

dear lord, please take all life problems and responsibilities away from fanfic writers but also make them financially stable and happy with nothing to worry about so they can happily focus on writing and posting fanfiction. amen

[franberryficz]

I assure you: somebody, somewhere, is on the exact same wavelength as you are.

[franberryficz]

kid at my work has been obsessed with pangea lately. he keeps telling me we have to "save it". like go back in time and push it back together

[franberryficz]

how it feels to stop tossing and turning and get up to piss

[franberryficz]

[franberryficz]

A dark comedy about a cult leader who suddenly comes to his senses, realises that running a cult actually fucking sucks, tries to quit several times but the followers are too clingy, until he realises that the only way to get rid of them is to fake his own death in the most credible, believable, tangible way possible, in a way where absolutely none of them could deny that they really saw their leader straight-up die right in front of their eyes. Wouldn't even cross their minds to doubt that the corpse isn't the real deal. Their idea that their precious leader could never die (he said so once, while on cocaine) is shattered, their whole world is shattered.

So the former cult leader weasels out of it and starts a brand new, completely normal life somewhere else, happily pretending that absolutely none of that ever happened.

And then the followers find him again.