frankfallon-blog

[frankfallon-blog]

2024 reflections

Happy New Year!

 I have observed peoples reflections on social media and have looked back, positively, over the year I have just had. I wanted to be able to review what I have achieved but am mindful of the conflict in Gaza and other people going through difficulties elsewhere in the world. This has made me consider how I share my personal reflections, which will just be on LinkedIn as opposed to other social media platforms. In 2023 I have had a raised awareness of how and when I share things, due to some of the work I have been doing. I also realised I have once again become all too familiar with doom scrolling. There is always a balance and where I got some things spot on in ‘23 there is also a lot I can improve on. The first goal for 2024 is to be less active on social media (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok apps have all been deleted!) and so my achievements in 2023 with Betatwindad.com and the M&M show had come at a cost where I have been much more present on social media and started looking at what others have, sometimes whilst I’m meant to be spending time with my family.

 I digress but ultimately this article will move and jump around. As much as the 12 months of the year are in an order my successes and learnings are not. In work I became the lead on a new project, which was years of work to achieve. During the 5 years at Twining Enterprise I have been learning and reflecting and developing my skills, building up to this achievement. I have stayed true to my own values and principles, mainly motivating and having a view to 'lead from the back'. Empowering and enabling others to lead. Over 2023 I continued my Co-Active coaching with Rohanna Law (being coached) and this has given me the mindset that if I really want to achieve something, I can. I’m proud of getting to this chapter and am extremely grateful. I am also all too aware of my personal life allowing me to navigate this. I have twins but am not the main parent, that’s my fiancé and their mum who was looking after them full-time until recently returning to work part-time. As I have been doing more work and building my networks I have been increasingly more aware of the challenges mums have returning to work. I’m proud that in our recent recruitment we have worked with agencies working with mums returning to work and In 2024 I want to do more with parents. My own personal journey I see how tough it is for mum, but I have been conscious of dads - I really want to do more for dads on paternity leave and give both parents the opportunity of stability in the home.

At the start of the year in my personal life I started a website - betatwindad.com. I wrote blogs about male infertility, premature babies and parenting. The beta was around not wanting to be the alpha male. I wanted to pass on observations rather than telling someone what will work and I was all too aware of how much I didn’t know, that I was never in a position to act like I was the alpha… I didn’t renew the domain after 12 months as I wasn’t spending as much time as I had planned writing or maintaining it. Part of 2023 was trying to navigate the new role, parenting my twins and staying in a positive mindset. As much as the blogging was having a creative hobby and an outlet for passing on my experiences, it was taking its toll. In 2024 I’ll continue to work on that balance but I need to focus on my main work. I plan to build up my mental health networks and become a leader in the sector. I still want to continue blogging but these will more be around articles (much like this). I am proud that in 2023 I wrote and was published in 4 articles - in The People (about the twins), Twins Trust magazine (about my mental health whilst parenting), the Brentford Community Sports Trust research (for a programme I was a participant on) and The Metro (about being a father on the maternity ward).

 In March I was a participant on Comedy For Thought, a Brentford FC Community Sports Trust programme delivered by Dr. Maria Zofia Kempinska MBE. I did standup to a room of 40-50 people, as a showcase, after having 6 sessions learning the skills. At the time I didn’t know I needed it but on that first session I completely opened up about my infertility and the challenges navigating 29 week premature twins. Working in mental health I have an understanding of how challenging it can be to talk about any conditions you may have. The old cliche of men not talking is more often than not down to men not having a safe space to do so, or indeed something that fits in with where they would like to share. I had confided in a couple of friends and family, finding it easier to tell some than others, but for others it was never ‘the right time’ or I was worried about their reaction. It’s 2023 but people still struggle to talk to people, or know how to respond when someone shares their issues. Learning comedy was so great. I could deliver a punchline and get feedback on the delivery, rather than the content. I went and did a couple more shows but realised quite quickly just how hard comedy is and how much time comedians spend honing their style and their content. Again I realised that I didn’t have the capacity to do this. I was happy standing up in front of audiences and sharing my life, with some laughs, but not what it would take to be really funny. In 2024 I want to do public facing talks but again may do this more on mental health and less about comedy, but using the learning from standup to deliver to an audience. Through that one showcase show, which I shared on a fertility for me Facebook page, I met someone that took me on a different path.

Kevin Button aka theman_cave got in touch with me and invited me on his instalive. Since then other audiences I have held have been on InstaLive. We connected and after that he invited me to do the M&M show. A chat show for men, by men, talking about male infertility, mens mental health and topics to help more men being open to talking. I loved talking to Kev, Gareth and other guests (some big names in the fertility sector) about this topic. I’ve always found talking so empowering and therapeutic. The blogging, the comedy, the work I do for Twining and the instalives have given me the opportunity to process the last couple of years. The talking in the instalives is ultimately to give others some support and help, a place they can go and meet others facing similar challenges but in doing so I talked about my feelings, my mental health, my lows. Looking back over all the years I found myself seeking help and becoming a helper and this was just that. Again though, I’m grateful to Kev for listening. For not reacting. For thanking me. This was a stepping stone I needed and I wanted to talk on different spaces. In 2024 I’ll continue to do the instalives but ensuring I’m not impacting on my day job or running myself too thin.

In 2023 I went from doing these lives to speaking on 3 podcasts and in 2024 I really want to do more. My life I have been outward, an extrovert and in negative discussions I have been called egotistical. Since being with my fiancé I have worked on managing how often I talk first, how often I am in the middle and how often I bring the conversation back to me. In work I try to focus on listening and coaching (something I continually need to work on) but I have always searched for/had an ambition for a certain 'fame'. It’s always a balance and any social setting I’m aware of my voice and my stories but these podcasts were a freeze frame of my situation, my life and gave me an opportunity to always have something in the airwaves. A memory bank. In 2023 I also understood that although it’s me talking and is my part in it, my fiancé was very much part of that process and she is not as keen as I am to be the centre of attention. So in 2024 I want to go on more podcasts and shows but not about our fertility journey and our twin boys. It needs to be about my mental health and my well-being and my own learnings, so more around work and the sector I’m in. I’m extremely grateful to firing blanks, The Collaboration Twins, testhim and The Fertility Podcast for having me on their podcasts and listening. Something I’ll forever be proud of.

2023 was a positive one for me. It was one that I survived in large chunks and thrived in chunks. Not without a lot of support, a lot of selfishness/boundaries from time to time. I’m also aware that in amongst the highs and best bits, there were lows, when I didn’t take enough time off to recharge, when I gave too much energy to too many things all at once. It is a constant battle to get the balance right, I didn’t run as much as I would have liked but I did the Ealing half marathon. Trying to squeeze in a run between sorting the boys their breakfast before work, or taking over after work until bedtime, before cooking became too much and so I only ran 288 miles in 2023. Sometimes maybe I would have benefited from more running. I started reading properly again once the boys started sleeping through the night more. This has helped me to get to sleep and meant I have now come very close to finishing the Rebus books that I started in lockdown. I still drink nighttime tea but potentially too much coffee. I lost weight for six months but in December put all of it back on again. I managed my well-being as best I could but still in November came very close to having a breakdown. One tougher than usual week at work, one too many conversations about communication and I found myself unable to go to a social situation I had planned. I couldn’t even take the tube properly and kept on going back and fourth between stops and going to the wrong station. I have since spoken to friends who said they were always around if I needed to reach out and in 2024 I need to do more to reach out when I need it. That’s partly why I have a Coach. A rain check. A de-stress. 

Those low moments were minimal but in 2024 I need to work out how to balance better. I want to lose weight but for my longevity and health, in the hope that I won’t get stressed as easily and my boundaries can be stretched. It’ll be a big year if I manage myself well. Working in the sector I know only too well the benefits on having a well-being locker, tools that we can use to stay well but it only works if we are using it proactively and not reactively. Stretching is important but only within a healthy boundary.

Here’s to a healthy, stretchy 2024.

[frankfallon-blog]

Well-being Locker

Put on what fits.

In 2020 I ran over 1,000 miles for the first time ever. I’ve ran marathons in 2016 and 2019 but still never got near that amount of mileage in a year. The main reason I could run as much and as far as I did was down to not having a commute. I could run at 7am, get home, shower, eat and be sat at the desk at 9am. Of course there were so many negatives during lockdown but part of the new life meant finding the positives in what may have been bleak for so many.

I realised that I was building my self a locker full of helpful resources and using what worked for me. With mental health and well-being one size does not fit all. I read self help books and struggled with people pointing out what I should do, instead what I wanted was an array of things I could try and continue to practise until it no infer worked. Enter The Body Coach, who kept me sane and fit for the first few weeks, but soon it stressed me more than it destressed me, so I traded the floor mat for the running shoes.

Running is the main thing that keeps me motivated, keeps me feel calm and releases nagativity. It also gave me a reason to leave my walls

The other things in my locker is coffee, I bought a coffee machine at the beginning of lockdown because I enjoyed a Costa or Nero as a treat but could no longer have it. Nice things are vital for staying positive.

Giving up alcohol worked for me but only because I could no longer make moderation work.

I bought packets and packets of an amazing sweet, bonds London sour gummies (I also purchased 3KG of wine gums in the first week!) but eventually, in January decided to give up sweets because it started to make me feel worse than better.

In my locker I have multiple things that help me during tough times and help the good times feel better.

[frankfallon-blog]

When Nature Calls

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek #Nature hash tag social media pictures and words about how nature is good for the mind, the body and the soul. Tweet tweet goes the budgie and tweet tweet goes Twitter lighting up how we need to connect with Nature. The long and dark days of lockdown, including only being allowed one bit of exercise for some of it, is hopefully coming to an end and we can see the sunlight at the end of the corridor…

When I think of nature I see, hear, taste and smell my favourite places, places I have never seen before and places I long to go. I always felt connected to Hippos and love how they live on land but can stay for up to 7 minutes under water. In the bath I often hold my head under for as long as I can and remain under the water, immersed within the water and able only to hear my heartbeat and dripping of the tap. Throughout lockdown I could feel the waves of the sea hitting me and taste the sea water, whilst hearing the sounds of the tide drawing in and pushing out against the shore. Of course I could have, and did on a number of occasions look at pictures and videos of the sea, but nothing beats nature quite like nature.

I live near a canal and in place of the seaside I often spent my lockdown walk venturing up and down the canal tow path and following the water running down toward the Thames. Along the route I spied squirrels, birds, wood mouse (sometimes the less attractive London rat) and my all time favourite – the Heron. I spent many a lockdown day wondering if I would catch a glimps of the Heron and did at many different points along the route – once taking off and in flight. On a 6am run I caught him walking up a bank to inspect a bag that had been left there. One day on the phone to a client I saw the Heron flying from the canal behind my flat over toward the golf course on the opposite side of the Uxbridge Road. Even more astonishingly I once came round a muddy path and found a Heron eating a small fish! Pre-Covid I had seen a Heron before. Once I even saw a family of Heron, two adults and two babies. Pre-Covid Heron didn’t nearly fill me with as much joy as the buzz lockdown Heron sightings gave me!

This year has really proved how necessary nature is to live a wholesome life. Whether it be gazing out of a window at green spaces or blue skies, or walking through the local park or running along the Grand Union Canal or, when Lockdown eased and I was able to once again visit the seaside, swimming in the sea, it is vital to living your best life. There is a whole heap of science, psychology and biology that will prove the reasoning but seeing the void of what we have become used to over lockdown really tops all the reading. I have seen a (socially distanced) gathering of people watching a sunset, more people than ever feeding ducks, couples standing in awe on the sight of a kestrel and have heard more laughter than ever coming from children feeding nearby horses.

You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone really does summarise how important nature is. I have been blessed to travel to some near and far places including walking up Machu Pichu, swimming with dolphins, seals and sharks in the Galapagos, seeing 4 of the big 5 in the Serengeti during the Migration, canoeing up the Lower Zambezi with pods of Hippos (I much preferred them when I was safe on land!) and laying on beaches, trekking and all sorts but the sweetest thing about nature is those moments closer to home. The everyday buzz of a bird, or peck of a woodpecker. The sunrise or set, the wind, the rain, the smell of fresh cut grass.

I struggle for motivation and often find getting outside after a long day, although the best medicine, is also the hardest thing to do. This Mental Health Awareness Week I am going to promise myself more internal dialogue for Nature. I am going to switch off from Social Media and rather than seeing what others have been doing, I am going to create more memories, more smells, more sightings of Heron’s and other such and open my eyes to what is in front of them because if the last year has taught me anything, it’s that we can’t take anything for granted. Nature is calling and I plan on answering.

[frankfallon-blog]

Frank Full for...

Someone held a door open for me today and waited for me to walk on through. No big deal but a simple gesture that sparks appreciation and positivity. In London it’s not a given that people will stop during their busy lives and their power walks from place they have to be A to the place they have to be B. When people do I feel good. End of. I hold the door open for people and am more than happy to wait. Difficult to know the distance that is the right amount of space that’s either okay for you to wait, or okay for you to just go through yourself. What I don’t like to do is force someone in to a slow jog or a more animated walk to give the impression of added speed!

 I’m fascinated by the recent conversations/social media outbursts from people who dislike a held door. More so people considering that someone opening the door is doing so for their own power or sign of authority in that situation. My recent listenings have been around some/very few feminists considering some/very few men that hold the door open merely doing so because they feel the woman needs them to do so. It’s a shame when previous traditions or meaningful/meaningless tasks that took place are questioned and we can’t just appreciate that some things are kind acts. I read somewhere that men used to hold the door open for woman, way back when there were castles and peasants and war only took place with swordsman etc, so that if there were waiting assassins the wife would die first! Nowadays of course it’s a gesture that’s affiliated with being a gentleman.

 Working in the youth sector there was a phrase I loved that goes ‘I can hold the door open for you but you have to walk through it yourself.’ The door a symbol of opportunities and walking through said door a symbol of steps taken or goals reached to grasp that opportunity. I worked with some very strong characters that had to work hard to get where they were and did so on their own. Those kind of people were ones that sometimes didn’t want help because they didn’t want to show signs of weakness. They would still appreciate a cup of tea made for them from time to time, or a chat when times got hard. What was beautiful about saying something like that when holding the door open for someone like that was that 1) it was funny and 2) meant the hardest part was never the opening of the door...

 Without the world being made up of symbols and doors being doors or doors being ajar, what the world needs is love and small gestures that represent huge kindness. It also needs small appreciation of those gestures and I don’t know what people’s internal battles are or what their growing up was like, so can’t say whether they should appreciate the door being opened. I’m happy if they choose to open all of their doors themselves and only walk through it when it’s definitely only them.

 But let me close that door for you if that’s the case...

[frankfallon-blog]

#9 Five yr old Frank

A letter to my five year old self to prepare him for the world. 26 years of planet earth since my 5th birthday. Who better to give some advice. If time travelling ever becomes an option... At 5 years old I was a fearless child. Scars on my head for falling off of many a coffee tables. Bumps on the head from walking into many a Dustbins. Big, wide blue eyes full of innocence and guilt free. A smile untouched from the sadness waiting in the tabloids and the news. My best friend was a kid called Elliot, we don't speak to each other anymore. My teachers in year 3 were Mrs Smith and Mrs B something. At the age of 5 I was too tall to sit in a play car thing that other children were allowed to sit in. Frank time will exist in exactly the same form as it does now, it will travel at exactly the same speed, however as you get older and fill your days with work and other 'necessities' it will seem to fade quicker. I like the person you are now, so an in depth look in the mirror and reevaluating the things we have or haven't done won't do us any good. 31 year old me recently chatted to the person I'm managing about the kind of characteristics he and me and you have. This person liked to finish all the tasks before starting the next one. I realised that I like to start many things and maybe don't always finish them... Last year I started a sign language course and never finished it, which is disappointing but I wouldn't tell you to go and finish it. I might say put in the practise to play the guitar because at 7, having learned to play Postman Pat all the way through, I told Mam to tell the guitar tutor Graham not to come back. Thinking of the days in Brighton you'll be living in between 21 and 27 I think I enjoyed listening to people playing the guitar more than wanting to play it. Maybe when you get in to year 5 and are about 9, you could run a bit more. By that time you'll be eating KG packs of wine gums that you can no longer purchase probably due to health reasons! Maybe don't eat them all in one sitting and think more about sport and exercise than what sweets you'll be buying from the sweet shop in North Harrow. You'll start drinking in Year 8. You'll also enjoy drinking too much to get the crowd laughing. You'll still enjoy doing that in 27 years time because of it... Frank Full by Frank Fallon

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#8 Frank Fallon

To be Frank Chapter 1 (introduction about me) My name is Frank. My assumption is that you will not know who I am. Actually if you have bought this book or rented it from a library then you no doubt do know me. In the world as it is, full of silly paid footballers, Big Brother and YouTube stars, I am nobody. At least I am nobody special. Harry Potter has been known as the boy who lived. I'm currently living. My frank explanation of my 31 years thus far is to tick another box off the bucket list but also share with you opportunities that are worth sharing. Where I have been you may like to go. Where I haven't been you may like to go. How I got to where I've been may be how you can get to where I haven't been. What is good about this world full of bloggers and vloggers is that there is a platform for everything. So my being someone not so special has no impact on whether you wish to read my book, it's that me being nobody still entitles me to sharing just that. It all started in a town called Stevenage. If I wasn't trying to be Frank I could go further back and address the family tree but perhaps I will branch into that several chapters in. Stevenage was one of the first towns built after the war to house the overspill of London. It's nothing special considering how large the world is, but it has had its fair share of special events and produced some popular faces over the years. (Special events). (Older people born in Stevenage) and then the millennials including Ed Westwick, Lewis Hamilton, Ashley Young and Jack Wilshere to name a few. If you hadn't heard of any of them then this book isn't as unnecessary as first imagined. I'm on par with celebrities. I was born a massive baby in to a family life. Loving people all around me and opportunities presenting themselves to anyone who was curious. In short in the beginning everything was set as the sociology books may have written; nuclear family with support family around them. All those mentioned in full time employment. I find it interesting that society still now pictures things a certain way. I am confident that some areas in this book I can share experiences from my own or others I have worked with that says there is always another way. People fail at one thing and succeed at another. Limiting success to the achievement doesn't always suggest the level of effort gone in, those that have failed more, those that have had to make huge sacrifices and those that were written off from the beginning. As much as in a sky fall of 7 billion shining stars, my own light can't be seen all the time, it has shone for many people and over these next chapters I hope it will shine for you.

[frankfallon-blog]

#7 Feeling Flat

#7 Feeling Flat

I read an article about tech billionaire Elon Musk. Musk is a CEO of two companies, Space X and Tesla. In his ‘spare time’ on a Saturday he also works at a not for profit artificial intelligence company. Musk can work between 85 - 100 hours Monday to Friday, according to the Independent. Not surprisingly he usually eats lunch during meetings and only gets 6 hours sleep a night. Oh and if you thought he may find it difficult to find anytime to settle down and have children, well he spends several hours on a Sunday with the 5 of them. That’s okay though as he can still access his work email! On further research on Musk he’s worth a staggering 20.5 billion USD according to Forbes rich list! What would you do for that amount of money?

Job advertisements today are full of lucrative salaries or far lower income. For mere mortals that sleep more than 6 hours a night and have to look after children during the week too, some salaries are less lucrative but allow you to just about afford rents outside of London. Most of the roles are fixed salary and locations, fixed roles and mention hours per week, usually between 35 - 40.

However the 9-5 is no longer 9-5. No doubt anyone reading this will have a mixture of times. Some may work 9-6. Some may work 6 day weeks with 12 hour days. Some may work 'flexi’ hours so you can start at 8 and finish at 4 etc. It’s fun to have slight variations on the working week and infrastructure relies on it. Shopping on a Sunday is booming. Getting booze at 1am in some parts of the country is a joy to those that wish to partake in a slightly lengthier evening of social activity.

What we are seeing more of is the hours of work never really being set, mostly in favour of the employer. Your job role will have specific responsibilities and requirements and in order to get those done you may be expected to work longer. Eating a sandwich at your desk is also appreciated in favour of meeting deadlines.

For people like Musk there must be some desire, some personal gain and self satisfaction that comes well before the reward of money. Maybe when he rises early and skips breakfast he can drive to work in a super car but what else can you enjoy when working 80 - 100 hours a week in an office. You can’t holiday. You can’t watch your home cinema.

I’ve worked with passionate people in lots of different sectors and I myself have worked tirelessly into the eve. I read an article about people who come to the office sick, no doubt under pressure to complete tasks. It said that not only is that unfair on on the people around them, who could also get sick but also on the people around them who would then be encouraged to work when they are sick.

If you are in a job that you enjoy and feel passionate about, so much so that you are happy to delve into personal time and finish late, or skip lunch, then I’m very happy for you. If you aren’t and but feel you are rewarded enough that you are happy to delve into personal time and finish late, or skip lunch, then I’m very happy for you. If you are having to do it because you feel you risk losing your job, which many people are, then you should seek advice. Unfortunately we live in a climate where the employer or owner will try to have a workforce that does more for less. A society where profit margins go beyond job satisfaction. In a western world we measure success by how many things we own, multiple times.

Musk and other people who can count their success in to the billions no doubt have to work hard at it. To be working in the modern world as a mere mortal, one who potentially can’t afford their own home, or to eat, or to look after their children, then working solidly for 8 hours must be hard enough. To be required to work through their lunch and into the evening is staggering that people feel justified to request this.

This could lead into politics, or unions or mental health and wellbeing. This could ask a question of whether you are happy in your current role, whether you are being valued, whether you are being treated fairly. For me, I wonder whether I will ever be able to work a 3 day week and be rewarded far greats than what I am now during a 5 day week.

Frank Full by Frank Fallon

[frankfallon-blog]

Had my headphones in but imagine his hook was just as good as the product placement for small step ladders. Salesman in Ealing Broadway today. #WhereDoesHeKeepTheStock #IfYouAreFeelingLostInACrowd (at Ealing Broadway)

[frankfallon-blog]

Stand to the norms 🚫No non conforming (at London Waterloo Station)

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https://frankfallon.tumblr.com/post/163728285827/6-footballs-fortunes (at Tha Land of Make Believe)

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#6 Footballs fortunes

We are about to embark on the start of the new football season. Pre season games have come and gone. Football banter has started again, whether Arsenal can make it back in to their 4th spot, whether Jose will give us a smile, can Daniel Sturridge remain injury free and so on. Sky Sports have released the new, stylish looking Premiership channel and, more importantly, knocked the price down so we can all stop streaming live football, maybe! Side note - I just watched the emirate cup on a freeview channel. Twas exactly the same as watching it on Sky... I love football. When I was 8 I got a blue dinosaur teddy and a red one. Nothing to do with the Arsenal colours and Mam has no idea about the 8ft Gunnersaurus being the Arsenal mascot since 1994. In today's world of sponsored football stadia, you wonder if Peter Lovell would have another opportunity to enter a competition to name the club mascot! My brother, 4 years older than I, and I both supported Arsenal but he didn't care too much for footy and told me one day that he supported Man. U. He didn't. It wasn't even a test but it tested me and I stayed true. He embarked on a journey dabbling in Nirvana and roller blades and I watched Ian Wright at any opportunity! Even then we couldn't afford Sky Sports, so it was FA Cup games and watching at friends houses. I played a bit. Ashley Young was one of the regular starters for Barclay sixth form team. I didn't play a bit. I ran the line a couple of times and supported from the sidelines but if it wasn't for the 3 or 4 better players in front of me we would have regularly played together. He's a lovely bloke. He was down to earth. He's on £110,000 (this was £70,000 only a few season ago) a week now playing at Manchester United FC. Ashley, as I believe the story goes, was at Watford until 16 and then they let him go for having a smaller frame. Quick, but no strength. So old (young) Youngy went back for a year, for free, with Watford and trained and eventually broke in to the first team where he lit up the flank and went to Villa for £10 million pound. Now he's mixing it up with some proper wonga and regularly plays, gracing our TV screens with his natural ability and the talent that he put so much effort in when he was released as a 16 year old! The hard work paid off, there is a story of talent that was so close to being let go, as so many others around, that ends with a young individual making a real story. Where did we pluck £10 million pound from though? My Dad likes to wind me up occasionally and says I'm a 'Commy'! That I believe everyone should get an opportunity to earn the same and, like Marx, wealth should be distributed fairly. "Some people work harder." "Some people achieve more!" Lots of useful counter arguments that I like to take in (wondering how some of our characteristics and views are so similar, and some can be so opposite?) and some I can completely agree with and comprehend. I don't praise people with equal measure for food they've cooked if one is not as nice as the other. If someone works out how to fly whilst I procure equipment from one end of the country to the other, I'm not suggesting we should earn the same. Neymar. Brazilian bloke. 25 years old. He's a quality footballer! Scores goals, looks average sometimes playing alongside Suarez and Messi but in most teams he would play and do well! Arguably one of the worlds greatest but some people still believe Ali is better Ozil and some people believe Chelsea are where they deserve to be. The matter of opinion on whether this 25 year old, Brazilian geezer, is worth a reported (Evening Standard) €222 million! Well! That's not really anyone's matter of opinion, surely?! I read some social media statements - a funny one about Manchester City spending more on their defence than some countries such as Colombia and Honduras! People were posting smiley face emojis at the thought of the Saudi royals over at the Ethiad swanning about talking about their defence in the same money bracket as a country! I don't agree with that nonsense either! I've worked in countries where poverty is rife, education isn't readily available and we've spent money on 'defending' countries from Imminent attacks. Well... if any nation attached France, Neymar (an attacking forward) should be able to defend a whole country (smiley face, wink face, laughing emoji)! For what's it worth I understand this is a complex issue. However surely it's simple in the terms that someone, somewhere has whacked a ridiculously high value on something with no actual factual reasoning? Ashley Young trained with Watford for x number of years, he had coaches supporting him being paid x amount and he played x number of times, journeys to and from, stadium utility bills for every time he was there and maybe in several years of training they feel that £10million was a worthy sum. Did they do that though? I work in a job where we put figures on a young person, starting on a course, how much it costs to accommodate them and feed them and provide resources and equipment to use, providing them with new skills... We then request a certain amount per young person. Every successful young person gets funds back upon completion of the programme. Standard business plan. Supply and demand. If fruit is demanded all year round we ship it from climates that grow it, so when the UK can't grow it, people can still eat it! It's a multiplex issue because that in itself is problematic but at least we have cause. People need to eat. I'm a fan of football but, and how hypocritical is it that Sanchez was £35 million, Ozil £40 million and Lacezette £53 million, but Pogba - a French geezer was 'worth' £93 million and I still watched. £200 million for a bloke that does something well, really well, I don't know if I can support that. I try to eat less meat and sometimes I fail and I know that if we didn't eat meat the world would, arguably, all be able to eat using the grain that the meat eats! I like meat and I like football. In a perfect world I would eat meat a couple of times a fortnight and I would pay a couple of quid to watch a local team play. You all probably have faith in the armed forces, you probably support one of the big five (except you Bailey, up the Gills!) and you probably eat meat everyday. Well, continue but I can't sit back and feel comfortable that Neymar is swanning about getting £650,000 tax free a week!! Without feeling hard done by being priced out of watching that team I chose to follow as an 8 year old. We should be watching it. We should be bantering on whether Super Sol won more trophies at the Spurs or Arsenal, whether Champs league is bigger than the Europa, we should all have been able to watch Liverpool and Gerard's, literal, slip on the race for the Premier League title. We should also have the right to pay an acceptable amount of money to do so and if wages and transfers were capped that amount would trickle down. Everything would be cheaper. Flat prices in London are higher than anywhere else, food prices and rent don't match inflation but that is a separate issue. I can't watch another premier league season where this money being spent continues to grow and only the fortunate reap the reward. Call me a Commy. Tell me Ashley Young and many others like him deserve the amount they're paid because of the work they put in. But don't tell me that the warden looking after my Nan, or the nurses that were looking after my Grandparents can't afford to watch the likes of Neymar because they are priced out of a ticket. With all the things wrong in the world we can choose certain rights. Recycle. Grow veg. Sack off Neymar and Pogba because they are not worth anything like the sickening amount that's been thrown around from one rich bloke to another rich bloke, with a rich bloke in the middle getting paid too just for holding a phone and buying the coffee. Frank Full by Frank Fallon

[frankfallon-blog]

RamMoo in the main room. #ComooterHell #FridayNight #LikeHerdingCows #Moo (at Underground-Bond Street)

[frankfallon-blog]

#5 Fallon F3

The Prince’s Trust, Shoreham TEAM F3. I made my journey with the Prince’s Trust complete starting as a participant, then volunteering before becoming a Deputy Team Leader and after 4 years the opportunity of Team Leader presents itself in front of me!

As a young person growing up in Stevenage with a roof over my head and opportunities that were there for the taking, I wouldn’t put myself in a negative category. I made some choices that were fun and ultimately helped to shape me but I was able to make those choices, my hand was not forced.

Unemployed and unmotivated were the two main reasons I was able to participate on Team. With no direction I was pointed to the course by my Nan. For her whole life she had told me to become a plumber but something about Team drew her eye. Had it not have been for that moment many moments I cherish in life would have been fruitful. Of course I could have had an even better life, I could have been even happier, we can’t say that tiny fractions of time speeding up and slowing down would have had such a larger impact, where we would be and how. Still I went through a programme designed at making young people more confident, better skilled and abled to become employed or back in education. It’s a programme that said to people that they were good enough. Those that had all of their years failing our education system, missing out on employment that they were capable of doing whatever they wanted to do. If they weren’t sure of what that was, they were given a taster of lots of things.

TBC

[frankfallon-blog]

#4 Foolhardy Folk

#4 Foolhardy Folk Political frolicking, Jokers, Jacks, queens and kings, A Trump card in one hell of a pack, 52 chances a majority percent, Decisions, decisions no life to rent, No aces, The dealer deals for the victory of the houses... My view point in recent political events has been difficult to endorse. I was keen to not be so involved on social media and instead wanted to be involved and participatory in activities within my constituency. That was in my control. I wanted a larger youth vote without swaying their decision with what I believed in. I didn't want to take time to try to change the minds of those uninterested in changing their view point. I was a walking contradiction. It was difficult to not get frustrated with those that were unaware of why they were voting the way they were, it was difficult to not get frustrated with those that repeated their views (even if they were the same as mine) and it was difficult to not get frustrated with people that were making decisions based on their liking or disliking of someone. I'm sure many people felt the same, or avoided trying to think about that feeling. For me, I have taken a huge disliking to the way politics is run in England and the UK. Working as a youth worker in the community I try to facilitate healthy debates within group work. Watching the kind of debates we have in the House of Commons is an embarrassment. The heckling, the bullying, the playground tactics displayed would get young children in detention or suspended at school. Everybody has witnessed a politician at one time or another offering something that never comes to light, through it being a lie or simply vetoed in parliament. We've all seen a politician asked a question that they choose not to answer, instead they 'pivot' and give you information they do want to tell you about. We, the people, will be frustrated and there is nothing we can do about it. So we read the tabloids and seek out information, the truth, in facts and knowledge we can use to make decisions. Yet the media channels aren't explicit to giving the truth. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, Journalism means 'the activity or profession of writing for newspapers, magazines, or news websites or preparing news to be broadcast'. In the American Press Institue they refer to journalism as 'the activity of gathering, assessing, creating, and presenting news and information.' My opinion, for you and anyone else that is curious about mine opinion, is that a journalist would be collecting the facts and showing them to the reader. Instead these days we read articles based on the writers opinion. My Dad once said that "every fact we read is someone's opinion." It is a head bang moment for me that with all of the above information we were asked to make decisions, on the EU and our stance - in or out, that no one knew anything about. There has been a change in politics. Not the outcome of the recent election, nor a difference in the lies and bullying during the campaign, but there has been a difference in the way certain leaders have conducted themselves. Just to point out that the definition of Blog is 'a regularly updated website or web page, typically one run by an individual or small group, that is written in an informal or conversational style.' My informal style of writing is my own and is completely based on my opinion. My opinion is that a man came into politics, not to make money (the Sun says Jeremy earns £137,000, the Guardian says £114,342 per year) but instead to represent those in his constituency and those whose voices can't be heard. His manner has been positive, conducting himself with patience and being considerate to people for which he has been mocked and laughed at in the commons. Labour voters and other policitcal party followers have mentioned their dislike for him because he isn't a 'leader', he's not loud enough, because he's not, potentially, what they are used to. Playground rules do not need apply. Bullies do not need to win. We the people can be heard, our voices can be echoed. A leader doesn't need to display the qualities of Trump, forcibly moving a peer out of the way to be front and centre in a photo. A leader shouldn't mock their opposition or belittle them for their own small victories. A leader isn't necessarily a leader because they are wealthy or have friends in high places. For every me, I'm well aware that there is an opposite who belives that they are all the qualities a leader should have. And here is this divide. My work, is about encouraging young people to work cross-culturally, it's about creating a community where people from all different backgrounds come together and connect. Unfortunately higher up in the running of the country this isn't the same rule applied. We get force fed news and told lies and when someone represents the voices of those worse off, the country divides. How many of these stories are true, what is real and how does a country sit with such completely different stances on it. What I do remember from the EU vote was a political reporter summarising both sides of the argument in two minutes and expressing the point "how can you expect anyone to make an informed decision without being properly informed." It's so true, my opinion is largely based on what I've seen and what I've read. Fortunately I have had the opportunity of travelling overseas and volunteering on programmes which are funded to help those worse off, as well as making leaders and active citizens in young people. When we look at lowering the voting age that's not a yes or no answer because we can't make that change unless we educate the 16-17 year olds. Working in communities that are in rural Africa, in countries without democracy I am dumbfounded with certain view points o certain people and places. But it all comes from somewhere, and so I am encouraged by more and more young people learning more on issues in international development, on working cross culturally, on thinking outside of negative viewpoints and instead wanting positive changes to be made. You can vote, you can campaign. International Citizen Service is a programme which supports young people in working globally, it supports young people to becoming an active citizen in their community. You can get involved. Organisations like Restless Development and VSO are working with 18 - 25 year olds explicitly and the wider community are affected. Programmes like ICS are making voices be heard. Recently in training with a group returned from South Africa and Zambia thinking about politics and advocating in the community, people were keen to be involved, most had already in some way been involved whether that was signing a petition or writing to their MP. They have been informed and they are keen to inform others. There is hope, there is also fantastic work being done so young people can understand the truth as opposed to hoping in some way that what they are being told by politicians is right. What they read in the news is fact. That they instead can talk to those politicians that they can say whether an article is factual or not because they are writing the articles. For more information on ICS and access to Restless Development and VSO, please look at https://www.volunteerics.org. If you're younger than 18 then check out NCS here http://www.ncsyes.co.uk Frank Full by Frank Fallon

[frankfallon-blog]

Counting down the days is a youthful blunder. The calendar, mine has photos of New York, holds events all year round, some more significant than others. A birthday, more and more weddings, a trip to Comicon and even just a Friday or a Saturday. Ticking off four to five days a week can have a knock on effect, when suddenly life seems so precious and there is a longing for more time. Not many people in their earlier years truly recognise that more time would benefit us greatly. To my knowledge only Romeo, of So Solid Crew fame, at a young age was wise to it. When given 21 precious seconds, he complained “I need more time, give me 29, seconds to chat this rhyme.” People, those we know and those we merely witness living their daily lives, always offer phrases we think we can relate to; Live every moment, make the most out of every minute and so on. Pick them apart though and can we actually live by the motto?! The daily grind including but not limited to an hours commute on the tube, stairwells at the tube station, tourists on the stair well in the tube station and the temperature of the underground. Imagine trying to make the most out of every moment when upon entering the central line at Ealing Broadway, the journey not ending until Liverpool Street station 45 minutes later, your bladder notifies the brain it’s reached its limit. What does a Monday have to offer and why has it been imprinted that a Monday is full of negativity, hangovers and sometimes guilt? The Monday commute as far away from an expression of fully immersing yourself into every minute as humanly possible. In other countries around the world, such as Bangladesh, the weekend does not fall on a Saturday and Sunday, thus, Monday is another beautiful day. Working the 9 to 5 as Dolly Parton would have wanted us to, or the 8 to 6 that your charity sector CEO getting paid the big bucks would have wanted us to, or the 12 - 16 hours if you’re NHS staff working under a Torie Government would have wanted us to, is part and parcel of the daily grind. Only 3,600 Lotto millionaires don’t have to work having won the lotto, the rest of us even some of the 1 per cent have to do something at some point throughout the day to earn some money to pay for everything bar the air you breathe. Food, water, shelter and the necessities to live and then your TV, internet, phone and all the things which the media media make you think you need to live all make those hours a little bit more bearable. Counting down the hands to the end of your shift means you’re proactively clocking up the younger years and checking out of some of the good bits. Your Mother or father, carer or housemate that is forever warning you to ‘make the most out of it’ is not trying to get you to see the best in everything but merely trying to get something out of most of it! Your *insert coffee provider here* coffee in the morning, the meme that tickles you on Facebook, completing a level on Candy Crush, the deers relaxing under a tree on your lunch break, the act that your friend at work hates everything more than you and so on an so on. Putting value on your day and appreciating it rather than looking on to the amount trip in 3 weeks time hopefully means that you’ll slowly ease yourself in to being 80… Maybe you would have been too busy to really appreciate Netflix and when you finally are allowed to retire and if the Government haven’t squandered away all your pension on brokering DUP deals and such like, and you can afford a TV you will not look back and how short and sweet life was but still be embracing the now. I’ve been caught up on the horrendous Love Island. I never thought I would say that. I’ve been sober for three weeks and my favourite thing to do is watch Love Island at 9pm and go to bed after. I’m embracing it. I had a costa today and the last couple of days I’ve had Tdziki. I wore purple socks, the same pair, two days in a row. I don’t write home about it but I’m not sitting waiting for the morrow. The morrow waits for no man. Frank Full, by Frank Fallon

[frankfallon-blog]

#3 Friday Feeling

Counting down the days is a youthful blunder. The calendar, mine has photos of New York, holds events all year round, some more significant than others. A birthday, more and more weddings, a trip to Comicon and even just a Friday or a Saturday. Ticking off four to five days a week can have a knock on effect, when suddenly life seems so precious and there is a longing for more time. Not many people in their earlier years truly recognise that more time would benefit us greatly. To my knowledge only Romeo, of So Solid Crew fame, at a young age was wise to it. When given 21 precious seconds, he complained "I need more time, give me 29, seconds to chat this rhyme." People, those we know and those we merely witness living their daily lives, always offer phrases we think we can relate to; Live every moment, make the most out of every minute and so on. Pick them apart though and can we actually live by the motto?! The daily grind including but not limited to an hours commute on the tube, stairwells at the tube station, tourists on the stair well in the tube station and the temperature of the underground. Imagine trying to make the most out of every moment when upon entering the central line at Ealing Broadway, the journey not ending until Liverpool Street station 45 minutes later, your bladder notifies the brain it's reached its limit. What does a Monday have to offer and why has it been imprinted that a Monday is full of negativity, hangovers and sometimes guilt? The Monday commute as far away from an expression of fully immersing yourself into every minute as humanly possible. In other countries around the world, such as Bangladesh, the weekend does not fall on a Saturday and Sunday, thus, Monday is another beautiful day. Working the 9 to 5 as Dolly Parton would have wanted us to, or the 8 to 6 that your charity sector CEO getting paid the big bucks would have wanted us to, or the 12 - 16 hours if you're NHS staff working under a Torie Government would have wanted us to, is part and parcel of the daily grind. Only 3,600 Lotto millionaires don't have to work having won the lotto, the rest of us even some of the 1 per cent have to do something at some point throughout the day to earn some money to pay for everything bar the air you breathe. Food, water, shelter and the necessities to live and then your TV, internet, phone and all the things which the media media make you think you need to live all make those hours a little bit more bearable. Counting down the hands to the end of your shift means you're proactively clocking up the younger years and checking out of some of the good bits. Your Mother or father, carer or housemate that is forever warning you to 'make the most out of it' is not trying to get you to see the best in everything but merely trying to get something out of most of it! Your *insert coffee provider here* coffee in the morning, the meme that tickles you on Facebook, completing a level on Candy Crush, the deers relaxing under a tree on your lunch break, the act that your friend at work hates everything more than you and so on an so on. Putting value on your day and appreciating it rather than looking on to the amount trip in 3 weeks time hopefully means that you'll slowly ease yourself in to being 80... Maybe you would have been too busy to really appreciate Netflix and when you finally are allowed to retire and if the Government haven't squandered away all your pension on brokering DUP deals and such like, and you can afford a TV you will not look back and how short and sweet life was but still be embracing the now. I've been caught up on the horrendous Love Island. I never thought I would say that. I've been sober for three weeks and my favourite thing to do is watch Love Island at 9pm and go to bed after. I'm embracing it. I had a costa today and the last couple of days I've had Tdziki. I wore purple socks, the same pair, two days in a row. I don't write home about it but I'm not sitting waiting for the morrow. The morrow waits for no man. Frank Full, by Frank Fallon

[frankfallon-blog]

#2 Fun * Fair

We are a community. Are you? A perfect opening line for a community gathering, a fair of summer shares, fun for all the family. Significant point to raise because in terms of community spirit, I've never been anywhere that has had a summer street party, let alone a street party with as much community spirit as little old Pitshanger Lane. Sorry Brightonians! Since moving to Ealing I've been constantly surprised by charity events, get togethers and people supporting everyone rather than trying to make it all themselves. The event on Sunday 18th June 2017 coordinated by one of the residents of Summerfield Road, Laina, was testament to her character. She's a smiley face that says hello to everyone, that supports local campaigns, Laina is someone that waters the trees on the pavement in our street! This event was a national initiative so that Jo Cox could be remembered by communities up and down England. Events set up so that normal, everyday people would make picnics and invite the neighbours. The event was dubbed with the quote, hashtag and heading "More in common". Jo Cox has left her memory in times of such political heat. Murdered on 16th June 2016, her birthday would have been the 22nd. Having an opportunity to do something which was testament to her character hopefully means that from a tragic, horrific event, several more people could be friends, tens of people might start thinking outside their own life, hundreds of people may start behaving differently and thousands of people can have a positive effect on thousands of others. Tables and bunting at the ready, paddling pool for the kids and a couple of pets chucked in for good measure. Endless amounts of burgers and hot dogs, with neighbours bringing dishes. It was a party that you and your friends would have been proud of. There was an air of nervousness that was broken, similar to the crushed ice in the Pimms, with quick introductions, and the sharing of a platter. Broken bread and wine, baps and beers, lollies and lemonade. I met people that lived in close proximity that I had never spoken to before, that I think I may have seen putting the rubbish out or parking the car, people that I had lots in common with. I chatted about work, and football whilst sharing cheesecake that I made for the occasion. Frankie put face paint on the locals, I played fetch with their dogs. The local tennis club caught wind of it and came to bring lollies for the kids who ran sound non-stop for several hours no doubt using a constant top up of sugar to keep them going. Twas a lovely touch on an event full of the like. When the world is full of places where we can avoid talking to strangers, like on the tube or in a queue, at the automatic tills, it is very reassuring to find that "We are far more united and have far more in common with each other than things that divide us." Frank Full, by Frank Fallon Fun *Community Fair