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thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

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WHAT ARE YALL READING RN you must tell me

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This blog is brought to you by an old man lover

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does anyone wanna apply for the position of being obsessed with me. serious inquiries only.

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timelord victorious 🪐💥

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I get that this is mostly a me thing but seeing so many posts making fun of "holy blood cannibalism pomegranate deer" style writing just makes me sad ;-; . guys that's a lot of people's first stab at poetry that's hobby art that's a vulnerable thing to post those are passion projects...

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A selection of comments from the video for Girls and Boys - Blur.

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waiting drives you crazy…

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Tumblr Sexy Doctor

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i feel like getting shot would feel so interesting for two seconds and then it would probably feel bad

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CAT-erpillars!

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I have begun to slowly reupload some of my old fics. Of Astronomy and A-levels, The Truth of Denials, Ancient Urges, Never Alone, and Rose.....Nevermind are all back up.

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can something good and pleasant happen to me now please

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Campbell Bain!

Started watching this show the other day

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