perfectly-imperfect333

[perfectly-imperfect333]

I really hate my BD for all the mental and physical abuse he put me through. The lasting effects of domestic violence are not fair the depression, the feeling of being unworthy sometimes, the codependency I’m left with, and the struggle to make new connections. The loneliness that just won’t go away.

I feel like I’m the fucking victim, and he gets to move on in life. And no matter how hard I try, I’m stuck still remembering, I loved him with every ounce of breath and blood in my body. And he treated me like garbage.

Fuck all that. The drug problems, the “he’s sick and hurt, and hurt people hurt people.” Well, I was sick too. I was hurt also. But I still am a kind, beautiful, resilient person. I still crave and show love. I still get up and teach my kids to be different.

Some days, I fucking hate him. But then it’s this fucked-up cycle of hating myself, because I’m right back where I started giving him that power.

Some days suck. That’s it. That’s all.

Maybe I’m too emotional. Maybe I’m too deep. Maybe I’m too hurt.

Or maybe… I’m just perfectly imperfect.

And I deserve love too.

God, I feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime. 😭

[perfectly-imperfect333]

Heaven’s Rocking Chair

Are there rocking chairs in Heaven

where little babies go?

Do the angels hold you closely

and rock you to and fro?

Do they talk silly baby talk

to get a smile or two,

and sing the sleepy lullabies

I used to sing to you?

My heart is aching for you,

my angel child so dear.

You brought such joy into my life,

the short time you were here.

When in time God calls my name

to come and join you there,

my lullabies will fill the skies

from Heaven’s rocking chair.

Not by me but was in my son obituary❤️

[perfectly-imperfect333]

I don’t speak on it often, but let me say I’ve survived some real sad storms

I’ve lived through domestic violence

I’ve battled addiction to drugs and alcohol

I’ve fought with the reflection in the mirror literally hated myself …wondering if I was ever enough for anybody especially my kids

Mental health anxiety and depression

Ive carried the kind of grief and guilt that crushed my soul losing my son

But through it all… I never gave up I broke I bled I cried but I’m rebuilding

This healing. This peace. I earned it.

I’m still growing but I’m already so proud of who I am now

That broken soul she made this woman and I’m so very proud of me

A woman who glows from within who walks in grace strength and softness with a dash of fire

This is what healing looks like this is what Black Girl Magic really is

[perfectly-imperfect333]

[perfectly-imperfect333]

Another thing I’m learning about myself in sobriety: the ability to feel.

For so long, I was numb. But now, clean and clear, my spirit feels purified.

I notice little things—like sunlight through leaves, music that hits differently, laughter I used to overlook.

There’s a lightness in my heart I never knew was missing.

I’m so deeply grateful for this second chance at life.

To feel—good or bad—is a blessing.

It means I’m alive. It means I’m here.

And more than anything, it means I’m learning to love again—myself, life, and others.

This is more than recovery.

It’s a spiritual awakening.

It’s a homecoming to my own soul.

If you don’t know God, and if peace still feels far away—search for it.

Because once you find it, the rest of your life opens up in ways you never imagined.

“Adel-easy on me”

[perfectly-imperfect333]

What resonates with me the most might sound sad to some, but to me — it’s just the truth.

Life is about acceptance, sometimes.

And I’ve come to accept that I was born to heal and help.

I truly believe I was meant to give more love and peace than I may ever receive.

But life is also about perspective.

So today, I choose to see it differently.

It’s not sad — it’s my purpose.

And in God’s name, I will stand tall in who I am.

Tall as the highest mountain.

Today, I will be loud with my love.

Today, I will be fearless.

Today, I will bring peace.

Just for today,

I will fight for what’s right.

And do it selflessly with grace.

Love KK

Song “Fireboy DML, Ed Sheeran- Peru”

“Girl I rather go somewhere quiet you glowwwwww”

[perfectly-imperfect333]

Still Standing: 141 Days Clean and Sober

They say what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger. Well, 141 days into my recovery — clean and sober — I now see how strong I really am. The most enjoyable part of this is relearning the beautiful, resilient person I truly am.

Having a pure, but not perfect, heart is what I love about me the most.

So many things and people have made me feel weak, but the strength I hold and the fight I have is untouchable. Through all the pain, grief, struggle, and heartache — I may bend, but I never break. I may cry, but I never lay down and die.

“Just one day at a time,” they say — so one day at a time, I will:

Fight for a better me.

Fight for a better life.

Fight for my children and the life I was designed for.

Fight for the destiny that will bring me the most peace and love.

I’m still a rose that grew through concrete.

I’m just a diamond in the rough — God polishing me every day.

This new love for life is healing my heart every day.

The song that comes to mind?

“Still Standing” by Monica and Ludacris.

Nobody can do it for you — only you can fight for you.

So stay strong. Keep fighting

#WomanWarrior