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[freedomfighter2033]

was reading jw literature on df’ing (to see what sort of counsel my family is probably receiving right now) and umm why is loyalty to the congregation (a group of imperfect human beings) akin to loyalty to god exactly...?

and why do jehovah’s witnesses insist they ‘don’t divide families’ when their own translation of the bible insists very clearly that they in fact do... like... stand in it if you think it’s right to cause family members to turn against each other? don’t say ‘oh we don’t do that’ because that’s just a lie... let your yes mean yes

it’s wild too that they clearly don’t want any members of the cult to even consider that someone who is df’ed had acted with good reason... like... their counsel isn’t ‘listen to wavering loved ones and hold on to them because every life is worth saving in jehovah’s eyes’ nope, it’s ‘guilt them with collective hazing to emotionally torture them but don’t let their apostasy taint your pure clean jw life, it’s never your fault, it’s ALWAYS their fault for having the audacity to cause problems’ (by not obeying the GB without question...)

also...

lmfaoo

this analogy makes no sense the way they’re using it but honestly this is how i feel trying to communicate uncomfortable truths with my family members about the cult they’re stuck in

[freedomfighter2033]

[freedomfighter2033]

For everyone who tries to claim that Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t teach that if you’re not a witness youll die at Armageddon

An even greater mistake would be to allow the faults of others to stumble us and cause us to leave Jehovah's organisation. Were that to happen, we would lose not only the privilege of doing God's will but also the hope of life in God's new world." Watchtower 2016 Jun study ed pp.25-26

15 Fourth, pitched into the furnace. What will happen to the bundles of weeds? The angels “will pitch them into the fiery furnace.” (Matthew 13:42) This means that they will be completely destroyed. So the ones who belonged to those organizations teaching false religion will be destroyed during the final part of the great tribulation, Armageddon.—Malachi 4:1. ws13 7/15 p.13

"During the final period of the ancient world that perished in the Flood, Noah was a faithful preacher of righteousness. (2 Peter 2:5) In these last days of the present system of things, Jehovah's people are making known Gods righteous standards and are declaring good news about the possibility of surviving into the new world. (2 Peter 3:9-13) Just as Noah and his God-fearing family were preserved in the ark, survival of individuals today depends on their faith and their loyal association with the earthly part of Jehovah's universal organization." Watchtower 2006 May 15 p.22 "Are You Prepared for Survival?"

What about survivors? Indeed, no one needs to perish at Armageddon...

...People everywhere are being given the opportunity for survival and salvation. (Matthew 24:14; Psalm 37:34; Philippians 2:12) Those who respond favorably to the good news can survive Armageddon and live forever in perfection on a paradise earth. w05 12/1 p. 6

"Similarly, Jehovah is using only one organization today to accomplish his will. To receive everlasting life in the earthly Paradise we must identify that organization and serve God as part of it." Watchtower 1983 Feb 15 p.12

Only Jehovah's Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the "great crowd," as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil." Watchtower 1989 Sep 1 p.19

If we stop actively supporting Jehovah's work, then we start following Satan. There is no middle ground." Watchtower 2011 Jul 15 p.18

"But Jehovah's servants already belong to the only organization that will survive the end of this wicked system of things." Watchtower 2007 Dec 15 p.14

But if we were to draw away from Jehovah's organization, there would be no place else to go for salvation and true joy." Watchtower 1993 Sep 15 p.22

"They must appreciate that identifying themselves with Jehovah's organization is essential to their salvation." Kingdom Ministry 1990 Nov p.1

"Only Christian witnesses of Jehovah who successfully pass this test will survive and come forth like fire-refined gold for God's use in his precious new order." Watchtower 1985 Mar 1 p.14

"At this stage of the affairs of man, it is absolutely impossible for anyone, professed Christian or otherwise, to stand independently of the one organisation that is bearing witness worldwide to Jehovah, his goodness and supremacy in accord with the 145th Psalm and, in fact, in accord with all the Scriptures." Yearbook 1982 p.259

"But Jehovah God has also provided his visible organization, his "faithful and discreet slave", made up of spirit-anointed ones, to help Christians in all nations to understand and apply properly the Bible in their lives. Unless we are in touch with this channel of communication that God is using, we will not progress along the road to life, no matter how much Bible reading we do." Watchtower 1981 Nov 15 p.27

"What will happen to young children at Armageddon? The Bible does not directly answer that question, and we are not the judges. However, the Bible does show that God views the young children of true Christians as "holy." (1 Cor. 7:14) It also reveals that in times past when God destroyed the wicked he likewise destroyed their little ones." Reasoning from the Scriptures pp.47-48

"Children are affected by the course of their parents, and parents are warned that their iniquity is visited on their offspring unto the third and fourth generation. (Ex. 20:5, 6) Parents are commanded to instruct their children in God's way, and if in these last days parents refuse to heed the divine instruction and warning they bring destruction upon themselves and their small children at Armageddon. (Deut. 6:6, 7; Eph. 6:4) According to justice God can leave such children dead, for, as Ezekiel showed, all die in their iniquity." Watchtower 1950 Nov 15 p.463

Questions From Readers

"By all the evidences this system of things is hastening to its final confrontation with the God of justice at Armageddon. Parents and children who fail to gain the "mark on their foreheads," that is, an adequate appreciation of God's moral standard, are sure to suffer. Parents will be held accountable for their children, and children will suffer for the failure of their parents." Watchtower 1968 Feb 1 pp.83-84

"The majority of people living today will probably be alive when Armageddon breaks out, and there are no resurrection hopes for those that are destroyed then." Kingdom Ministry 1968 Mar p.4

*** w95 12/1 p. 24 Watchtower Educational Center Sends Out Missionaries ***

The only ones who will survive the awesome confrontation during the coming great tribulation, he showed, will be those who have accurate knowledge of God’s Word and are obedient to it.

*** w92 5/1 p. 20 par. 5 Keep Awake in “the Time of the End” ***

He cherishes the inhabitants of the place where his feet are spoken of as resting. So by means of his earthly ambassadors and envoys, he warns them of the events ahead of them. (2 Corinthians 5:20) Yet, despite all the warning given, those events will arrive upon the human family as unexpectedly as if they had stepped into a snare. Why? Because most people are sleeping spiritually. (1 Thessalonians 5:6) Only a comparatively small number heed the warning and will survive into God’s new world.—Matthew 7:13, 14.

*** w92 9/15 pp. 23-24 pars. 16-17 Jehovah’s Use of “Foolishness” to Save Those Believing ***

The only ones who will survive that war and gain life in God’s new world are those who obey what this world calls foolishness—yes, Jehovah’s glorious Kingdom good news.

17 Jehovah’s Witnesses, led by his spirit, are not ashamed to preach what the world calls foolishness.

*** w92 10/15 p. 15 par. 8 Work to Preserve Your Family Into God’s New World ***

In time “the desire of the flesh and the desire of the eyes” could lead many of such youths away from the truth. (1 John 2:16) How sad it would be for parents to survive Armageddon but because of past neglect leave their children behind as casualties!

*** w91 1/15 p. 29 The Pure Language Unites a Great Crowd of Worshipers ***

“Become United by the Pure Language” was the title of Friday’s public talk. The speaker showed that although three thousand different languages now act as barriers to unity, the pure language is a mighty unifying force. It has safeguarded Jehovah’s Witnesses against Babylonian errors, has taught them respect for the sanctity of life and blood, and has helped them to live by Bible principles that benefit them spiritually and physically. All need to be concerned about learning and speaking the pure language, for only those doing so will survive Armageddon. There is no time to lose in heeding the counsel at Zephaniah 2:1-3.

*** w91 5/1 p. 14 par. 15 Become United by the Pure Language ***

Similarly today, “a great crowd” of Jesus’ “other sheep” gathered out of all nations will survive Armageddon into God’s new world. (Revelation 7:9; John 10:14-16) Only those who learn and speak the pure language will be joyful survivors.

*** w89 1/15 p. 20 pars. 20-21 How Baptism Can Save Us ***

By our works, we can show that “we belong to Jehovah.” Why, salvation depends on working faithfully as his dedicated slaves! (Romans 6:20-23; 14:7, 8) In ancient times, slaves were often marked on the forehead. By the preaching work today, the antitypical ‘man clothed in linen’—the remnant of Jesus’ anointed followers—is ‘marking’ those who will survive the end of this system. In this work the anointed are assisted by their associates, the “other sheep.” (Ezekiel 9:1-7; John 10:16) And what is the “mark”? It is the evidence that we are dedicated to Jehovah and are Jesus’ baptized disciples who have a Christlike personality.

21 Especially now is it vital that we have the “mark” and retain it, for we are deep into “the time of the end.” (Daniel 12:4) To be saved we must ‘endure to the end’ of our present life or of this system. (Matthew 24:13) Only if we thus remain faithful as witnesses of Jehovah will baptism save us.

*** w86 4/15 p. 20 par. 22 What Jehovah’s Times and Seasons Mean for Our Day ***

Therefore, worship Jehovah with his people and come to his place of security. Have a share in the most important work that is being done on earth today—the gathering together and training of those who will survive Armageddon and who will have the wonderful prospect of cultivating a paradise on earth and living in it forever.

*** w85 2/15 p. 7 Armageddon—A War That Leads to True Peace ***

The pressing question is: Will you survive the destruction at Armageddon to enjoy the endless peace? You may ask, ‘What must I do to survive?’ Here is the Bible’s admonition: “Seek Jehovah, all you meek ones of the earth, who have practiced His own judicial decision. Seek righteousness, seek meekness. Probably you may be concealed in the day of Jehovah’s anger.” (Zephaniah 2:2, 3) Jehovah’s Witnesses will be glad to help you to do so. In that case, Armageddon will turn out to be for you, not a war that brings total destruction, but a war that leads to true peace.

*** w84 7/15 p. 20 par. 20 Build Your Future With Jehovah’s Organization ***

Never forget that only God’s organization will survive the end of this dying system. Act wisely, therefore, and make plans for life eternal by building your future with Jehovah’s organization.

*** w83 10/1 pp. 16-17 pars. 13-14 Millions Get Ready for Uninterrupted Life on Earth ***

Since on their account the days of the tribulation are to be “cut short,” it follows that some “flesh” will be saved through the end of this old world. If the chosen remnant will have Jehovah’s protection assuring their survival, no less so will the “great multitude” of dedicated, baptized and faithful ones survive under divine protection. Today the vast majority of Jehovah’s Witnesses are members of that “great multitude” that is to survive “the war of the great day of God the Almighty” at the world setting that is called Har–Magedon, or Armageddon.—Revelation 16:14-16.

14 At present the world population is reported as being 4.6 billion people. Since 1935 C.E. those of the “great multitude” should have grown to number millions. Do they? Well, the chosen remnant of a few thousand is almost crowded out of view by the teeming hundreds of thousands of baptized witnesses of Jehovah who are active in ‘preaching this good news of the kingdom’ earth wide “for a witness to all the nations.” (Matthew 24:14; Mark 13:10) According to the careful tabulation that is made annually by the headquarters of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society and its 95 branch offices, there are well over 2.4 million regularly active in Jehovah’s prescribed work for this “conclusion of the system of things.” And the ingathering of all those who will make up the final membership of the “great multitude” to its fullest extent is not yet over.

*** w80 9/1 p. 7 Security Now and Forever ***

Only those who have trusted in the unseen but mighty hand of Jehovah will survive and enjoy security forever under the righteous rule of God’s kingdom. (Rev. 21:1, 4) May this be your happy lot for having developed a close personal tie with the Most High.

*** w73 6/15 p. 382 A Way of Life Opened to Mankind ***

Because only those who take a firm stand for God’s kingdom before the “great tribulation” that culminates in that war will survive. These, though designated as a “great crowd,” will be few compared to earth’s present population, and certainly so as compared to the thousands of millions who have lived on earth.

*** w72 6/1 p. 326 Christendom’s Days Are Numbered! ***

Any associated with Christendom who survive the destruction of false religion in the “great tribulation” will not come through to any improved, long-lived future. They will experience only the fire of Jehovah’s anger and his symbolic “sword” of judicial execution in the final part of the “great tribulation,” the “war of the great day of God the Almighty” at the world situation called Har–Magedon.—Rev. 16:14-16; 19:11-21.

…Therefore the people who will survive the “great tribulation” are those who will not let themselves continue to be deceived and fooled by the hypocritical, lying claims of religious clergymen. They must also be people who care about what is happening, not only to themselves, but also to others. They must think and reason. They must realize that there is TRUTH in the earth, and that Jehovah is the God of truth. They must recognize, as did a few in ancient Jerusalem, the life-or-death need to “set matters straight” with Jehovah to avoid being ‘eaten up’ by the sword of execution.—Isa. 1:18-20; compare John 8:32.

*** w72 12/1 p. 726 How Much Do You Care About People? ***

Only persons having an acceptable standing before Jehovah God as genuine disciples of his Son will survive this system’s end. (Rev. 7:14-17) Before that end comes, Jehovah’s witnesses have the opportunity to share in a lifesaving warning and rescue work. However, the time left for this activity is reduced.—1 Cor. 7:29.

*** w71 10/15 p. 634 Preparing for a New Order of Righteousness ***

When God destroys the present system of things he is not going to leave a vacuum. That is, he is not going to have a depopulated earth. Nor is he going to have a few people left who do not know God’s ways or who do not want to recognize his sovereignty.

*** w61 3/1 p. 132 What Is the Destiny of the Wicked? ***

Even as Noah and his family survived the Deluge because of knowing and doing God’s will, so today only those who know and do God’s will will survive the impending destruction of Armageddon. To help you toward that end is one of the purposes of this magazine.—Matt. 24:37-39.

“Loyalty to God also includes loyalty to his organization.” – The Watchtower, October 1, 2001

“We need to obey the faithful and discreet slave to have Jehovah’s approval.” – The Watchtower, July 15, 2011

“We have the opportunity to show love for our brothers who take the lead in the congregation or in connection with Jehovah's visible organization worldwide. This includes being loyal to ‘the faithful and discreet slave.’” – The Watchtower, December 1, 1990

“The anointed and their other sheep companions recognize that by following the lead of the modern-day Governing Body, they are in fact following their Leader, Christ.” – The Watchtower, September 15, 2010

“It is vital that we appreciate this fact and respond to the directions of the ‘slave’ as we would to the voice of God.” – The Watchtower, June 15, 1957, Page 370

*** w71 1/15 pp. 63-64 Questions From Readers ***

Can it be stated flatly that only baptized witnesses of Jehovah will survive Armageddon?—A. S., U.S.A.

It would be misleading to answer this question with either a simple “Yes” or a “No.” The Scriptural answer of necessity must be a “qualified” one, and it is easy to see why.

At 1 Corinthians 7:14 the Bible shows that God can consider as “holy” the minor children of a Christian parent. Though they are young and not yet to the point of being personally responsible to Jehovah, their parent is trying to develop in them a love of God and of the way of righteousness. It seems clear that at the time of the destructive war of Armageddon God will preserve them on the basis of the family merit of the Christian parent, even though the children are not yet dedicated and baptized.

The reply must also be “qualified” because the Bible does not pointedly say how God is going to handle certain unusual cases, such as those involving mentally retarded persons who never had the capacity to learn about Jehovah and his purposes. Regarding these unbaptized persons, it is possible that family merit may apply as in the case of minor, irresponsible children who have a faithful believing parent or guardian.

Nonetheless, these special instances do not diminish in any way the importance of dedication and baptism for those desiring God’s favor and protection through the destructive climax of this wicked system of things. God urges those truly interested in survival to seek righteousness and to call on him in faith. (Zeph. 2:2, 3; Joel 2:32) That obviously means that a person must do all in his power to do God’s will. And what is that will as regards baptism?

Jesus was baptized in water, setting an example for Christians. (Matt. 3:13-17; 1 Pet. 2:21) Among his final instructions to his disciples is the command to “make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them.” (Matt. 28:19, 20) And one has but to read the book of Acts to see that early Christians recognized that baptism was a necessary step of obedience for all desiring God’s favor.—Acts 2:37-41; 16:30-33.

Neither the Watch Tower Society nor any human today can lessen the force of that indication of God’s will. There appears to be no Biblical reason for thinking that a person who had a reasonable knowledge of Bible truth and knew the importance of dedicating his life to God and being baptized, but who held back from doing so, would be preserved by God through the coming destruction.

We are aware that many hypothetical or “What if . . . ” cases can be raised, cases that seem to involve extenuating circumstances. What point, though, is there in speculating on these? Jesus’ illustration of the “sheep” and “goats” makes it plain that a time will come when the division between the “sheep” and the “goats” will be clear and final. (Matt. 25:31-46) Instead of looking for “loopholes” in God’s arrangement for salvation, what all humans who desire preservation need to do is take full advantage of God’s merciful opportunity to serve him. And they need to do so now, before it becomes too late to begin thinking about becoming a servant of Jehovah. The “sheep” who are preserved into “everlasting life” will be responsible persons who do God’s will as completely as possible. (1 John 2:17) The Bible shows without doubt that Jehovah’s will for humans today includes being baptized and being public witnesses of him.—Rom. 10:10.

Jesus compared our time, faced as it is with the end of this wicked system of things, to the days of Noah. (Matt. 24:36-39) And drawing on Noah’s experience, the apostle Peter added: “That which corresponds to this is also now saving you, namely, baptism, (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the request made to God for a good conscience).” (1 Pet. 3:20, 21) So all who desire salvation ought to recognize how vital the step of baptism is.

15 Fourth, pitched into the furnace. What will happen to the bundles of weeds? The angels “will pitch them into the fiery furnace.” (Matthew 13:42) This means that they will be completely destroyed. So the ones who belonged to those organizations teaching false religion will be destroyed during the final part of the great tribulation, Armageddon.—Malachi 4:1. ws13 7/15 p.13

What about survivors? Indeed, no one needs to perish at Armageddon...

...People everywhere are being given the opportunity for survival and salvation. (Matthew 24:14; Psalm 37:34; Philippians 2:12) Those who respond favorably to the good news can survive Armageddon and live forever in perfection on a paradise earth. w05 12/1 p. 6

"Similarly, Jehovah is using only one organization today to accomplish his will. To receive everlasting life in the earthly Paradise we must identify that organization and serve God as part of it." Watchtower 1983 Feb 15 p.12

Only Jehovah's Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the "great crowd," as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil." Watchtower 1989 Sep 1 p.19

"During the final period of the ancient world that perished in the Flood, Noah was a faithful preacher of righteousness. (2 Peter 2:5) In these last days of the present system of things, Jehovah's people are making known Gods righteous standards and are declaring good news about the possibility of surviving into the new world. (2 Peter 3:9-13) Just as Noah and his God-fearing family were preserved in the ark, survival of individuals today depends on their faith and their loyal association with the earthly part of Jehovah's universal organization." Watchtower 2006 May 15 p.22 "Are You Prepared for Survival?"

An even greater mistake would be to allow the faults of others to stumble us and cause us to leave Jehovah's organisation. Were that to happen, we would lose not only the privilege of doing God's will but also the hope of life in God's new world." Watchtower 2016 Jun study ed pp.25-26

If we stop actively supporting Jehovah's work, then we start following Satan. There is no middle ground." Watchtower 2011 Jul 15 p.18

"But Jehovah's servants already belong to the only organization that will survive the end of this wicked system of things." Watchtower 2007 Dec 15 p.14

But if we were to draw away from Jehovah's organization, there would be no place else to go for salvation and true joy." Watchtower 1993 Sep 15 p.22

"They must appreciate that identifying themselves with Jehovah's organization is essential to their salvation." Kingdom Ministry 1990 Nov p.1

"Only Christian witnesses of Jehovah who successfully pass this test will survive and come forth like fire-refined gold for God's use in his precious new order." Watchtower 1985 Mar 1 p.14

"At this stage of the affairs of man, it is absolutely impossible for anyone, professed Christian or otherwise, to stand independently of the one organisation that is bearing witness worldwide to Jehovah, his goodness and supremacy in accord with the 145th Psalm and, in fact, in accord with all the Scriptures." Yearbook 1982 p.259

"But Jehovah God has also provided his visible organization, his "faithful and discreet slave", made up of spirit-anointed ones, to help Christians in all nations to understand and apply properly the Bible in their lives. Unless we are in touch with this channel of communication that God is using, we will not progress along the road to life, no matter how much Bible reading we do." Watchtower 1981 Nov 15 p.27

"What will happen to young children at Armageddon? The Bible does not directly answer that question, and we are not the judges. However, the Bible does show that God views the young children of true Christians as "holy." (1 Cor. 7:14) It also reveals that in times past when God destroyed the wicked he likewise destroyed their little ones." Reasoning from the Scriptures pp.47-48

"Children are affected by the course of their parents, and parents are warned that their iniquity is visited on their offspring unto the third and fourth generation. (Ex. 20:5, 6) Parents are commanded to instruct their children in God's way, and if in these last days parents refuse to heed the divine instruction and warning they bring destruction upon themselves and their small children at Armageddon. (Deut. 6:6, 7; Eph. 6:4) According to justice God can leave such children dead, for, as Ezekiel showed, all die in their iniquity." Watchtower 1950 Nov 15 p.463

Questions From Readers

"By all the evidences this system of things is hastening to its final confrontation with the God of justice at Armageddon. Parents and children who fail to gain the "mark on their foreheads," that is, an adequate appreciation of God's moral standard, are sure to suffer. Parents will be held accountable for their children, and children will suffer for the failure of their parents." Watchtower 1968 Feb 1 pp.83-84

"The majority of people living today will probably be alive when Armageddon breaks out, and there are no resurrection hopes for those that are destroyed then." Kingdom Ministry 1968 Mar p.4

“Loyalty to God also includes loyalty to his organization.” – The Watchtower, October 1, 2001

“We need to obey the faithful and discreet slave to have Jehovah’s approval.” – The Watchtower, July 15, 2011

“We have the opportunity to show love for our brothers who take the lead in the congregation or in connection with Jehovah's visible organization worldwide. This includes being loyal to ‘the faithful and discreet slave.’” – The Watchtower, December 1, 1990

“The anointed and their other sheep companions recognize that by following the lead of the modern-day Governing Body, they are in fact following their Leader, Christ.” – The Watchtower, September 15, 2010

“It is vital that we appreciate this fact and respond to the directions of the ‘slave’ as we would to the voice of God.” – The Watchtower, June 15, 1957, Page 370

February 15 1981 p19

Wt February 15 2004 look up later "only through the faithful and discreet slave"

Wt oct 1 1999 "for everything there is an appointed time"

[freedomfighter2033]

Yesterday my family came for lunch.

It’s just weird to watch them and feeling like a stranger, a spectator.

I definitively see them differently since I woke up last year.

I watch them and see people trapped in a cult without knowing it while I’m free and know so much things but I can’t say anything (the ARC, the problem of child abuse, the 607 vs 587, 1914…).

[freedomfighter2033]

this is what my brain looks like

[freedomfighter2033]

Conditional love

Conditional love

As someone who grew up in an environment in which love and affection were predicated on my agreement and support of a specific religious system, I was never really taught what unconditional love was. I didn’t learn until much later that it's not normal to worry about your family abandoning you for questioning your groups religious doctrines or that it’s not normal to sever all contact with a person you considered a close friend simply because they did something the group deemed unacceptable. Instead I was taught that obedience and humility were synonymous. That the only life worth living is one that centerd around service of and subjection to the organization. That my life depended on being an active member of the group. That was my normal.

As one might have guessed being raised with these precepts was not without its consiquenses. Throughout my young life and even into adulthood the fear of being completely cut off from my friends and family if I did something my religious group forbid kept me isolated. This fear stunted my ability to form meaningful lasting relationships as a child and young adult. Even now I still have a very hard time trusting people and opening myself up to others. My experience is far from unique, many who grow up in high control groups suffered from and perhaps continue to battle similar insecurities.

Another consequence of growing up surrounded by conditional love is that not only do you develop a feeling of insecurity regarding your personal relationships, but you too are trained to love conditionally. The idea and sometimes the practice of cutting someone out of your life is praised as a demonstration of loyalty to the group, organization or possibly even god. Every bond you form within the group is made with the understanding that if you or they were to ever break the rules or question the groups teachings the relationship would cease to exist. This can make it extremely difficult to form deep connections with friends and family. The possibility that that relationship may have to be abruptly ended constantly looms over head and can be almost suffocating. In most cases a high control group will encourage its members to report on each other if they discover that their friend or loved one is breaking the groups rules. Simply confiding in one whom you believe to be a close friend about something you’ve done, something you feel or even something as simple as doubts about the groups teachings can result in them reporting what you’ve said or done to those in charge of administering punishment or discipline. This also makes it extremely difficult to truly trust even your closest friends who are members of the group.

Of course growing up with conditional love can also have the opposite effect. Rather than making it difficult for an individual to form connections with others they may find themselves indiscriminate with whom they enter into romantic relationships or choose as friends. The desire for strong meaningful relationships can sometimes blind them to the toxic nature of those individuals and relationships. This can be true of people they choose as friends both inside and outside of the group. Because most high control groups restrict who you’re allowed to associate with and usually encourage members to only befriend other members your options are often limited. This may lead to group members choosing friends out of necessity rather than due to the quality of their personality or friendship. It doesn’t matter how poorly they treat you obedience to the cult requires that these be the only people that you associate with. Worse yet is the fact that these groups will often turn any discontentment back around on the individual positing that the problem is with them and not their fellow members. Any claims of mistreatment or cruelty is attributed to the individual having “unreasonable expectations”, being “to emotional” or perhaps that they think they’re “better than everyone else”. This is a form of victim blaming that silences those who are being mistreated and shames them for simply expressing their feelings. This is also a form of gaslighting(a subject I intend on writing about in a future post) that makes the individual question the validity of their own thoughts and feelings. “Maybe this is just the way people are” “Maybe this is how all friends treat each-other”. Although self evaluation and introspection are very important and should not be ignored, it’s also important to recognize ones own self worth. If not this type of manipulation can lead an individual to drastically lower the standards of the treatment they permit themselves to endure. This is the ultimate goal the cult is trying to achieve. Their hope is that the individual will succumb to the criticism and social pressure placed upon them, to the point where they no longer react to or perhaps even recognize the fact that they’re being mistreated.

The situation can be just as bad for the individual when trying to form relationships with people outside of the group. Again the desire for friendship and for meaningful relationships can lead one to overlook negative qualities or personality traits. This problem can be exacerbated if the individual does choose to leave the organization and their fears of being cut off and shunned become a reality. The loss of everyone they care about can drive some down a very self destructive path.

In a desperate attempt to fill the hole left by their former social group they may settle for friendships that are abusive and or toxic. They may also engage in self destructive behaviors such as over drinking, drug abuse and or risky sexual activity. In most cases these behaviors are an attempt by the individual to cope with the pain of not only losing their friends and family but in some cases losing their sense of purpose as-well. For many the group or religion is all they had and all they knew and so for them leaving can be especially emotionally unsettling. Some also engage in these behaviors either in an effort to integrate into a new friend group or because they have been led to believe that these behaviors are the default of those who do not belong to their former faith. High control groups often present those outside the group as being untrustworthy and morally bankrupt. It may be implied or directly stated that non members or those who leave the group are inevitably going to be involved in the aforementioned behaviors (drug addiction etc..).

This negative image is not only meant to create a feeling of prejudice and distain for those outside of the group but it’s also meant to instill a fear of leaving.

In contrast to how it portrays those outside, the group will present itself as a physical and moral safe haven, protecting members from those on the outside who would take advantage of and or abuse them. This gives their followers a distorted idea of what it’s like to be an non or ex member. As mentioned before prejudice for nonmembers and instilling fear of leaving are the overall goals of this type of propaganda. Unfortunately as also mentioned before some who leave a high control group do end up getting involved in these self-destructive behaviors and some do end up forming friendships with abusive or toxic people. This works in the groups favor as it seems to confirm their claims not only regarding the behavior of non members but also their claims of the group being a protection from a treacherous world. It’s not uncommon for individuals to leave a high control group only to return sometime later with stories of abuse by nonmembers. Those who’ve left the group and encountered or befriended unsavory individuals and then returned may then caution others not to leave the group for fear that they may suffer the same fate. These testimonies supposedly confirming the organizations claims often dissuade members who otherwise would have from leaving.

Ironically although members are often encouraged to heed the warning‘s of individuals who have left and returned, they are simultaneously dissuaded from listening to those members who’ve left and who have chosen not to return. Many of these individuals did not choose to engage in self destructive behaviors and instead were able to rebuild their lives eventually becoming very happy and successful. This obviously runs counter to the narrative the organization wishes to put forward. This is part of the reason why they dissuade their members from and sometimes even punish them for speaking to ex members. The idea that one can be happy and content outside of the group is detrimental. There are however ways in which the group will try to counter this, these usually involve defamation of character. On top of already presenting nonmembers as immoral and untrustworthy the group will likely try to present ex members especially those who speak out about their experience, as dishonest, blasphemous, corrupt, bitter and perhaps even violent. If the group is religious they may even imply that those who leave or who speak out against their former faith are servants of the devil. Any success that they have will be attributed to their aligning themselves with the enemy or enjoying the spoils of a sinful lifestyle. Again this rhetoric is meant to build a hatred and prejudice for ex members as well as to instill a fear of leaving. After all if you believe that opposition to your group or its leaders is opposition to God himself and is perhaps even aligning yourself with the devil you will be unlikely to take such a step.

All of these things compound making the issue of relationships and love within such groups very complicated. A member may have or have had a very strong relationship with one who has since left the group. Due to the negative light the group paints such a decision and such individuals in, it may be impossible for the group member to reconcile what they have been told about ex members versus what they know to be true about their friend. This may cause them to question the validity of the groups claims regarding ex members. In some cases this creates an opportunity for the member to be introduce to the opposing arguments or information hidden from them while in the group. Unfortunately situations like this are not the norm. In most cases the fear mongering and character assassinations have the desired effect. For some members it may indeed be difficult to reconcile what they know to be true about the character and lifestyle of an individual who leaves versus what they are told such people are like, however because of the potency of the groups propaganda they will likely still believe that the individual is making a life threatening mistake. In these cases although they may experience great emotional pain the group member will still most likely follow the organizations instructions and cut off all contact. As horrific and disgusting as the practice of shunning is it must be stated that those who choose to do so are more often than not doing so because they are firmly convinced that what they have been told by their group or its leaders is true. The member may truly believe that he or she is doing the right thing and that by taking such actions they may in the long run be saving their friend. As stated before the group often praises those who shun former members for their loyalty and devotion to the group, they will also likely present shunning as the only means of getting the ex member to return to the group. When all this is taken into account it can be understood how someone can be convinced to do something as abhorrent as shunning a friend or family member.

That being said the damage done to someone’s mental health due to the sudden loss of their entire social network including their family cannot be overstated. Unfortunately many who grow up in high control groups and especially those who’ve experience shunning (also called predatory isolation) develop abandonment issues, depression and in some cases it has even led to suicide. Groups that advocate this practice do so with the hope that the mental stress and anguish of losing their loved ones will either dissuade someone from leaving the group or over time cause enough pain that they return.

So what’s the solution? Well once again(and I'm starting to feel pretty useless here) I don't necessarily have an answer for that, not an all encompassing one anyway. For me it was a matter of educating myself on the psychological underpinnings of what had been done to me and why I thought and felt the way I did. Introspection and deprogramming were and are vital tools in breaking free from this sort of indoctrination. Relearning how to love is extremely difficult but in my experience it's worth the effort. One resource that helps many who are leaving a high control group is a website run by cult expert Stephen Hassan he has written two books on the subject and is devoted to helping people rebuild their lives after leaving a destructive cult.

https://freedomofmind.com

[freedomfighter2033]

Anyone looking for a short explanation on what the Jehovah’s Witnesses cult is, and why they are dangerous, I implore you to watch this video by John Cedars on YouTube. It is a short, about five minutes long, simple explanation as for what Jehovah’s Witnesses are, what they believe, and a few of the reasons ex members say that the religion is a cult.

[freedomfighter2033]

Wonderful news for the EXJW community Raymond Franz’s famous book Crisis of Conscience is now back in print. It’s going for as low as $10 on Kindle and you can see in the picture the prices for paperback and hardcover.

If you are an active Jehovah’s Witness I strongly recommend you getting this book. Even if you don’t agree with the information presented at the very least it will give you an understanding of why many choose to leave the faith and why they can no longer conscientiously support the organization.

[freedomfighter2033]

1.3.2017

Whenever people speak of the sanctity of religion, I think about my father, how at seven years old, he picked me up from school and told me Santa Clause wasn’t real. (It was October, I believe.) I remember he told me there were demons in my Harry Potter books.

I remember my aunt telling me boys are mugs and girls are teacups, and that was why I couldn’t stand up to read the Bible or carry microphones. That men were hydrogen and women were oxygen- I vowed never to marry. 

I remember my father forbidding me to spend time with my friend once we found out she was bisexual. (”God has standards,” he said.) I realized years later I was a lesbian, but for the longest time it still felt like a dirty word. 

I remember being told time and time again that I was better than my schoolmates, especially the other girls, because I didn’t wear eyeliner or straighten my hair or wear skinny jeans. Because I read books instead of talking to people. I didn’t feel better than them. I felt guilty. I felt guilty every moment of the day. 

I remember being constantly reminded that the world would end but I would live on, because I was a good girl.

I am no longer a good girl.

[freedomfighter2033]

Why do people say the Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult?

This is from a secular report by Janja Lalich, Ph.D. & Michael D. Langone, Ph.D. who are not representing any particular religion.

Concerted efforts at influence and control lie at the core of cultic groups, programs, and relationships. Many members, former members, and supporters of cults are not fully aware of the extent to which members may have been manipulated, exploited, even abused. The following list of social-structural, social-psychological, and interpersonal behavioral patterns commonly found in cultic environments may be helpful in assessing a particular group or relationship.

Compare these patterns to the situation you were in (or in which you, a family member, or friend is currently involved). This list may help you determine if there is cause for concern. 

‪1.  The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.

‪2. Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

‪3. The leadership dictates, sometimes in great detail, how members should think, act, and feel (for example, members must get permission to date, change jobs, marry�or leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear, where to live, whether or not to have children, how to discipline children, and so forth).

‪ 4. The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.

‪ 5. The leader(s) is(are) not accountable to any authorities (unlike, for example, teachers, military commanders or ministers, priests, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religious denominations).

‪ 6. The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members’ participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group (for example, lying to family or friends, or collecting money for bogus charities).

‪ 7. The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt iin order to influence and/or control members. Often, this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion.

‪ 8. Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.

‪ 9. The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.

‪ 10. Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities.

‪11. Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

‪ 12. The most loyal members (the true believers) feel there can be no life outside the context of the group. They believe there is no other way to be, and often fear reprisals to themselves or others if they leave (or even consider leaving) the group.

So you can decide for yourself if the Jehovah’s Witnesses fit the characteristics of a cult.

[freedomfighter2033]

Im a good girl

OMG the realization of self after cult is starting to get to me.. Im attribuiting alot to how I was raised and my learned beliefs and feelings.. is scary.

I realized I am not very good with commitment, and definitely not in relationships. I have never been really stable with anyone I’ve ever dated. Then it occured to me I was taught to believe I could only make friends with people from inside the organization, that they were to be my only ‘true friends’. That since the world was ruled by the devil, my friends from the world could never be my true friends. I remember a conversation going: them: is she your best friend? what congregation does she attend? me: she is just a friend from school them: oh but she’s not a witness, and she is your.. best friend? me: She is a good person them: oh, I’m sure she might seem like a good person to you, but the real question is.. Does she worship jehovah? like you do? me: no them: Then she can’t be your real friend, can she? *shows scripture* This belief created in me a high level of mistrust. I became shy and I stop making friends at school. I was not very into socializing and I’d believe there was no point in making friends with dead people, at the same time i’d feel bad I could never make them change and become jws, I never tried it either because I wasn’t sure myself. It just hurt.  I was a master of making people push me away, I was avoidant. Within the organization was not very different, despite knowing making friends in ‘the truth’ was guarantied. In my group of friends/family there was a lot of people being plain shallow, it was all about who would hang out with who and who was wearing what. The hot gossip was about people being censored or disfellowshiped, you’d hear the craziest stories during convention breaks. The reasons for discipline were speculated and talked about, doctrine was debated but mostly praised. And every single teenager and single young adult were in a hunt for partners for life. Also loads and loads of pictures were taken. I tried to take them seriously, but something was off, and I hated it. The only real good friends I found within the WT are the same friends that I have now and the ones that left the WT, like I did. They are some of the people I trust the most. I show this behavior in all my relationships, I’m avoidant and I’m scared of being rejected. (Despite all the rejection in field ministry) Im also afraid of commitment, that was huge within the witnesses. I’m still trying to get used to it.    

[freedomfighter2033]

Who am I?

Simple. A 17 year old JW teen forced to live a double life. “But are you really forced?” you may ask. Yes. For one, I can’t openly say I don’t believe in the existence of a superior being. I would need ‘spiritual’ help. (Think about it. If someone wanted to force you to believe Santa Claus was real.) For another, going against the faith my parents have (and I had when I blindly believed everything my parents told me) would get me shunned from the only people I am in constant communication with. But I must admit I have it easier than some. I find solace in books and media. They’ve never serched my stuff and especially not my phone. And that, my friends, is a huge outlet source for me. If you need a place to vent I am here to help as best as I can.

[freedomfighter2033]

This^

Having an exit plan is extremely important.

The exjw tags are so heartbreaking and hopeful like I hope there is an afterlife and I hope the GB ends up in bhuddist hell.

For those of you still trapped, please stay strong, you can and will get out. The outside world is wonderful in comparison. Just hang on until your opportunity comes and seize it without any hesitation.

I kind of snapped from the stress when I was 20 and told my mom I was an atheist. 2 weeks later my dad told me that I couldn’t live with them. Unknown to him I had already made arrangements months ahead. Within 30 minutes of him leaving my room I had packed up the rest of my essentials and grabbed my bug-out bag, called some classmates and got a ride to a friend’s house who had offered me a place to stay a few months prior. My family was furious, they had lost all their leverage against me in under an hour. I know we don’t always have the luxury of planning these things but if you can it helps a lot. Get to know people outside of the congregation you can trust. Have a bug-out bag with clothes and other essentials in case you need to leave quickly. They keep you in by teaching you the world outside is dangerous, that you have nowhere to go but to them, but you can make an exit for yourself. Good luck out there.

[freedomfighter2033]

So... Jehovah's Witnesses are the nicest people in the world, right?

The smiling, happy, polite, attentive old woman who is standing at your door, offering to teach you things from the bible? She is shunning her own son and his three children, and she is also shunning her stepson and his two children. You see her smiling, helpful face. Her children and grandchildren haven’t seen or spoken to her in years. You call her one of the nicest people in the world. I call her my mom.

[freedomfighter2033]

A Moment In the Life of A JW Teen

When I was 17, my parents found out that I had a boyfriend from school. To say the least: shit hit the fan. After 3 hours of what felt like an intense police investigation at the dinner table, my parents made me call my boyfriend and break up with him while they sat in the room watching and listening. Then I was told to go to my room and collect anything I could use to communicate with someone. While I was in my room, I heard footsteps on the stairs and my heart started pounding. Not again. I don’t want another argument. I want it to be over. My father came upstairs and calmly told me he that was going to give me 2 choices. “Are you going to do what’s right like Jehovah wants, or keep on doing what you want to do?” I told him I wanted to keep doing what I was doing (having school friends and a boyfriend, go to college, play sports, normal teenager things). I still remember the look on his face and the fear I felt when he yelled at me. “Nope! Wrong choice! You’re stupid, Lanae. So stupid! You think you’re going to keep doing what you want?” The next few days were awful. I actually believed that I was wrong. I believed I was stupid. I prayed all day, begging for forgiveness, asking Jehovah to help me change. I thought I was undeserving of every friend I’d ever had. I promised to devote my life to Jehovah. I told my parents I was so sorry to disappoint them and Jehovah and everyone in the congregation. I really thought I was just a lost sheep who needed her shepherd to come find her. It didn’t help that every time I cried, my father would tell me that it was okay because in ten years I would look back and realize how stupid I was being and that I made the right choice. A few weeks later, after my emotions settled and the anxiety attacks became less frequent, I realized there was nothing wrong with me. I realized that I wasn’t the one who needed to change, I had done nothing wrong. I realized if anyone was at fault, it was my parents, for letting their daughter believe that she was a worthless piece of shit just for not sharing their religious beliefs. I then made it my goal to get out of that house, that congregation, that organization. I faked my faith for the next year, counting down the days I had left. I commented at the meetings, I gave talks, I went out in service, I studied for the meetings. During the summer I spent time with my “worldly” boyfriend and friends after work. Nobody in the congregation, not even my parents, expected a damn thing. Then, the day after I turned 18, I left. It’s been a little over a year and a half now, and I don’t regret a thing. I made my choice and I stick by it. Why on earth would I return to an organization that made me hate myself? Why would I put myself down to praise a god that hasn’t done a thing for me?

[freedomfighter2033]

I think a huge reason ex JWs have so little outside support is that worldly people think it’s just another garden variety christian denomination, albeit an annoying and slightly weird one. They don’t know how much power and control the governing body has over its followers. They have no idea what being a witness is like. They know that JWs don’t celebrate holidays and maybe that they don’t accept blood, but that’s it

the majority of other religious people were raised knowing that their parents would love them no matter what belief system they chose to follow. They didn’t have to think a certain way to have access to their family, they didn’t have to do anything to earn their family’s love– for them, it was unconditional. It was never so fragile that a single conversation could end it. Chances are, the concept of shunning is so distant and so unreal to them that they have no idea what psychological damage it could inflict. Everyone’s parents disapprove of them at one point or another, right? Isn’t that the same thing?

A Jehovah’s Witness decides they no longer want to be a witness. They’re immediately shunned by their family. They are most likely kicked out of the house. They are at a statistically higher risk for suicide. Everything they believed about the world comes crumbling down before their eyes and the moral foundation they’ve lived their entire life by shatters. They’ve been so completely isolated from the world that they have trouble adjusting to mainstream culture, what is supposed to be their own culture. They’re a de facto orphan who just escaped a cult

“So, what? You left your religion? Can’t you just get over it?”

[freedomfighter2033]

"The people who control the source of the information, control what the truth is."