freetherapy2-0

[freetherapy2-0]

bubble wrap for the soul

ITS HERE. FREE THERAPY started as an idea based on the fact that a) therapy is fucking fantastic. b) everyone should get their mitts on it at some point in their life. whilst personally I am the biggest advocate for it as not only has it helped me through some pretty tough time’s but it’s also brought me a huge amount of joy in those weekly 1 hour sessions. therapy is hard, confronting, exhausting, explosive, insightful, challenging but most of all EMPOWERING. it’s there to shine a light or place a mirror up to yourself and say, look - you’re a human made up of a whole load of beautiful broken pieces that when pieced together are fucking spectacular but in order to put those pieces together in the most glorious way, therapy steps in. therapy isn’t there to make your life whole again. you’re already whole as you are and it’s realising this that’s the first step. this page has been 28 years in the making, spending a lot of time self developing and getting huge inspiration through empowering others with a lot of late night quotes it was about time we made this a movement. this page is a daily dose of inspiration when you’ve broke a nail on the way to work, dragged yourself out of bed for the past 365 days because life feels unbearably heavy, forgot your email log in for the 60th time, grieving a pet - whatever the reason you’re here to get that pep talk that will remind you how fucking awesome you are. free therapy to me = bubble wrap for the soul. pop it until your heart is content, the satisfaction you get from it doesn’t cost a damn thing.💡💥🧡🌈⭐️💘

[freetherapy2-0]

Therapy is a taboo word, still, I think. But it’s changing and for that I see so much potential for everyone embracing it whole heatedly. There’s a therapist for social media nowadays, if that's not alarmingly confronting about our current mental states then I am not sure what is? So more importantly than ever we really need to invest in ourselves, not our Instagram grid. 

Free Therapy came to me one day under the idea that everyone deserves it, irrelevant of income bracket. I am of the belief that no matter how blissful you have sashayed through life, you could do with a little moment every now and again to offload to a non biased professional all about how fucked up your cat is, as an example. I can confidently say that no matter how fortunate you are to have had a calm upbringing with a lot of lovely things and very little upsetting you that there will not be a slight if not major benefit of sitting down in-front of a professional for an hour to cry, laugh and snot everywhere whilst they look at you with a softly blank expression and encourage you to ask yourself why John in accounts can’t look you directly in the eyes since that fateful Christmas party. Therapy is the tool used, to help you better understand yourself. Who doesn’t want that? If you’re scared to see what's underneath, nothing is more scary than never looking at it, believe me. There’s a common misconception that if you had a fucked up childhood you’re bound to have a screw loose and you're the only folk that need to see someone. Incorrect. Not all problems stem from childhood, nor are those who had a blissful upbringing free from them either but how will you ever know if you don't try and look? 

How important I see therapy, is why Free Therapy started. Because everyone deserves it and I wanted to create a platform that allowed everyone single one of us the option to access it freely. Use the space to offload, inspire, empower, smile, laugh, cry. All very likely experiences of sitting down with a face to face shrink. Its whatever you want to make it, take what you need from it and hopefully it will develop your understanding of who we all are as people because we genuinely all are connected and there’s no shame in seeing where you truly fit into all of that, sharp edges and all. 

[freetherapy2-0]

PTSD is an STI, right?

Surprisingly, no. PTSD is the black sheep equivalent of mental health ‘issues’. A version of events that aren’t widely spoken about but everyone knows exists, vaguely. Since being diagnosed with it quite recently, I realised I literally knew nothing about it - ‘something only soldiers experience’, ‘4 words which when strung together bring no meaning to me’, ‘HUH?’. All words I uttered when faced with a reality I most definitely avoided for years.

PTSD: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening or distressing events.

The trouble with PTSD is that a lot of the symptoms can be misconstrued as ‘bad days’ and the emotions evoked are inconsistent, this paired with the multitude of traumas that PTSD can develop from - big, small, swift, enduring, leaves sufferers with a continuous feeling of confusion and without doubt, points the big bad blame finger on themselves. Mine related to chronic neck pain, anxiety burps, avoidance, numbness in my hands and feet and major brain fog. All an absolute riot to experience on the daily, especially when you have no idea how to reduce the feelings or even where exactly they’re stemming from in the early days. The ‘reassuring’ reality - is that the feelings, emotions, stressors and heightened senses are all occurring for a reason - the reason being that when our bodies undergo mind-blowingly intense experiences and/or eyeballing distressful visuals it puts you into a permanent state of fight or flight, the problem occurs when that fight or flight mode designed to protect us continues, for days, weeks, months and sometimes years. A protection tactic that our bodies place us in when situations become alarming - can -  leave us in a prolonged vulnerable state that does the opposite of protect. Thanks a bunch nervous system! 

Diagnosis is the most powerful tool you have in battling the illness, and I use the word illness with blatant intention because whilst you may not be able to hear a chesty cough or feel the blazing wrath of a flu filled head, its an undeniable feeling of your body being ‘out of sync’. That’s how its always felt to me, a continuous lull of not being completely yourself, triggers causing you pain both mentally and physically, a frustrating notion that something just is not right. Depending on the trauma that brought you to where you are now, recognising the problem can be a lot harder than you think - especially if said trauma lasted more than just a few moments as it’s often associated with isolated singular experiences, this really isn't the case. Examples of experiences which will/can induce PTSD include; sexual abuse, death of a loved one, accidents, toxic work environments, severe health diagnosis, miscarriages. This list is not exhaustive and is unique to each and every one of us. Just because someone suffers trauma from one experience, doesn't necessarily mean the same trauma would evoke the same reaction in another. 

The importance of talking about your mental health is to ensure the conversation surrounding these topics continues and to remind others that the struggle is in-fact real but it should by no means be considered the end. The reality of PTSD is that 8% of the population will experience it (a minority), with women more likely affected than men. They’re the quantitative facts but qualitatively the acceptance and recognition of the symptoms are paramount, from there it's a much smoother ride to arrive at the other side unscathed, happier and most definitely a more reflective, grateful, empowered human. 💖

For advice, support and information on anything relating to your mental health, mind is a good place to start + friends. both will do you well in this world. 🌍

[freetherapy2-0]

change is constant

How do you anticipate change? The hard, annoying reality is that you can’t. Situations change, jobs change, people change, you change, life changes - endlessly. At a million miles a minute the world is constantly changing and you are one of those many moving parts just travelling through life as efficiently as you can. 

As humans, some more than others - we like to be in control across all aspects of life and the truth is you don't actually ever have a tight grasp on things, because that’s just not the way the world works. As frustrating as that may be for most of us, if we consider the beauty of this simple fact: we are free falling through our years. It kinda takes the edge off when the shit hits the fan because you were never really in control to begin with. Kinda bitter sweet slash a little terrifying but it helps. 

If we can’t control these situations, then how do we feel a little more comforted by the unexplainable action of others? It’s all in how we react to changes that determines how breezily we can move through life. Keep your focus, take a minute, consider your ideal scenario and react with purpose but most importantly, calmly. 

By just knowing that with each day comes new challenges, new excitements, new additions, new news and brand spanking opportunities - you’re not only a little less surprised but also relieved when you know that tomorrow could once again, be entirely different. Life becomes much more exciting once we become open to the many variations it can bring. 

If you’re wondering; my purpose of this post is to just simply remind you that everything is changing around us and our power is in whole heartedly accepting it. Change is the only constant thing we have in life. Oooh the irony! Plus who can say it better than Li Lo in any given situation? #mykonosmademedoit

[freetherapy2-0]

everything is temporary

We’ve all had the moment when you feel like the world is against you, everything is crap and you wonder when the sun will shine again? Now that may sound dramatic (I am good at that!) but this feeling can come in incredibly varying degrees of extremity. From breaking a nail to breaking a leg, from losing your job to realising that your one true love strolled past you in Starbucks never to be seen again (you’re lying if you deny this one moment has occurred at least once in your life if not 6,578 times). 

Point is - shit happens! Yes it does, in varying proportions and that really is just life. Trust me I don't think life plans to have a change of heart any time soon unfortunately; little blips of irritating, not gone your way moments will pop up out of nowhere when you’re least expecting it. So once that realisation has settled - where to next? 

First of all, I am not a pessimist, I swear. Glass half full and what not because where’s the fun otherwise? However, sometimes life is cruel and by acknowledging this straight up fact we can prepare for the worst without letting it drown us. When shit hits the fan, first thing you must remind yourself of is that this won’t last. It may not last longer than 5 minutes or it may last months but either way - it’s coming to an end one way or another and once those clouds clear you will question why you ever got yourself so worked up in the first place. 

As humans we tend to dwell on the moments we wish to avoid (don't ask me why it seems utterly stupid just typing it) but we catastrophize, make it bigger than it is or fail to imagine life any other way. Real productive I know? But when times get tough, please repeat the words ‘nothing lasts forever’ as a gentle reminder that things honestly do ALWAYS get better. Always. 

If you’re prone to anxious vibes, overthinking and all those fun mind games we play with ourselves (I am admittedly one of these), taking a second to stop, close your eyes and ready yourself for funner times you will sashay through the grey, fuzzy clouds a lot quicker. 

Once the light at the end of the tunnel is reached; relish, bask, dance, soak up all the positive moments. Whether its eating your favourite sandwich (egg mayo thanks for asking) or Saturday brunches with the gals (I like food alright?) - the moments you enjoy seem a lot less brighter when you’ve experienced the dull. 

I understand entirely that uttering those 3 words won’t reduce your problem to a teeny tiny irrelevant blip but believe me when I say that it absolutely will help you get through each treacherous, feet dragging day with a little bit less of a frown. 

[freetherapy2-0]

does it make you happy though?

None of us get out of here alive, we hear this regularly and often roll our eyes at how cliche and generic it is. That being said, this statement is even truer than Trumps face is orange and I urge you all to remind yourselves of this on the daily. 

Really consider this statement, like really study it and think about how insignificant it makes us all as individuals in the rich tapestry of life whilst illustrating how significant it is that we achieve and do things which only make us inexplicably, jump for joy, burst with pride happy. 

The perfect life, the perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect home - these things are figments of our socially constructed imagination and its imperative we remind ourselves as regularly as humanly possible. I urge you to watch this little TEDx video on why we feel the way we feel - it instils how socially programmed we all from a very young age as to how our path should be lay. Most importantly note how if we followed this rule of thumb we would all appear almost identical in our journeys, which would be no fun for anyone. *NB: there are no rules, there’s no set path and whatever it is you want to achieve is yours for the taking. Whether that’s becoming a professional line stander or campaigning to reduce the ‘Great Pacific Garbage Patch’ (check it out here👈🏼, it’s scarier than Sydney’s Kings Cross at night) - anywho, point is, if it makes you jump out of bed in the morning, don't stop doing it. 

In today’s world, we are thrust a million and one specks of information in an instant and it can make for a very noisy, crowded, confusing life. How are you supposed to know if you're headed in the right direction without life cues and milestones confirming it for you? Well here’s the thing, the only life cues worth listening to are inside of you not the ones we’re strictly advised of growing up, in the media, magazines and even via parent’s projections of how our lives should be. None of it matters at all unless we are happy doing it right? 

We bust our guts for jobs which don't inspire us, stick around people who stifle our dreams and remain in lacklustre relationships all for what? So we can look back at the very end and pride ourselves on our patience to complete a bunch of stuff that lacked much meaning to us? 

Life’s complicated, that is true, nor is it a bed of roses 24/7 but when it comes down to it, choosing to do something, be with someone and surround yourself with things which evoke passion, happiness, contentment and joy are the only things worth striving for. Cars, homes, clothes and sparkly things are all great - but what good is any of it, if in order to obtain it you became downright miserable?

If you’re still striving to find what exactly it is that sets your soul on fire - stick with it. Start by asking yourself if you are fundamentally satisfied by where you are at? The search ain’t easy nor is it handed to us in a sparkly, glittered parcel via an oiled up Ryan Gosling (a girl can dream) but believe me it’s worth the wait and will make life a far more magnificently exciting adventure. 

[freetherapy2-0]

your instinct is always, always, right

Why is it that despite an endless feed of Pinterest quotes, gentle advice from friends and observing through on-screen experiences - is it only once we go through the tough times ourselves do we really take notice and jump on board with life's oh so blissful (sense the sarcasm) lessons? A friend of mine recently, wisely advised - ‘we take the test, before we are given the lessons’ and I honestly question how I have got through all 27 years of life without this genius little adage to human experience.  

If you are one of the lucky ones, who have blissfully sashayed through life following only your gut and instinct then wowee - congratulations and most importantly, at what stage do you intend to pick up your Lifetime Achievement award because boy do you deserve it. For some reason as humans we have this inherent desire to control each and every aspect of our lives, down to every last tiny detail. To comprehend that there is something innate, intangible and down right slightly spooky inside of us that leads us in the most desirable direction seems almost incomprehensible. I simply cannot fathom why? But the reality is folks - it’s there and it is a thing, it’s not a mythical hobbit like character that’s another byproduct of fake news. 

Learning to trust your gut is I believe one of the most beneficial skill sets to learn in your adult life, period. By learning to listen, drown out the background noise and be led by your inexplainable life nudges will simply your life in ways you cannot imagine. 

How did I learn this? I have spent the majority of my life ignoring my instincts and for the first half of my twenties that was okay - there’s a certain ‘forgiveness’ you are so generously handed when you’re straight out of university, scrambling through grad jobs and essentially bumbling through life in a way that leaves you utterly flummoxed at how exactly you got away with it!? But it comes to a point where your behaviours have consequences? I know shocking really, I can't really believe it myself. Most importantly your actions, pathways and decisions made, impact you in a way that can be detrimental and can be completely avoided if we just listen to our gut. See where I am going with this?

I took a job, that on paper was perfect. Dream job, dream life and all the other connotations that come up in-between. Did I have an intrinsic feeling that something was off about 3 weeks into my role? Yes. Did I listen? 2 and a half years later still sat at my desk will tell you that I didn't. Do I regret it? No because regrets are a wasted emotion. Could my anxiety, physical tension, burn out, stress and self loathing have been avoided? Absolutely. If I had just listened. I willingly chose to ignore these nudges because 1) I thought I knew better, 2) I wasn't viewing my reality honestly, I painted a picture of what I thought it was, whilst completely disregarding the truth. We do that as people a lot. Relationships, friends, dates, jobs. Choosing to see something that simply isn't there, because we are afraid of the harsh reality. 

There are many things I am grateful for; it has furthered my career in ways I could never have imagined, met insanely talented individuals who have not only become friends but mentors and most importantly I have learnt. A lot. Do I wish I didn't have to go through the shit-show to get to this place? Yes. 

When something is off, it’s off. You wouldn't smell an out of date milk to put it back in the fridge and continue to douse your cereal in it? Heck no. No one likes sour cereal and I most definitely don't want a sour life. So trust yourself, you know yourself better than anyone on this entire planet and there really is a voice inside of you that knows what you want before you even know yourself, don't silence it. It isn't easy, it will often nudge you in ways that seem terrifying, questionable and disregard the status quo but they will bring so much satisfaction that is wholeheartedly worth the risk. Your gut is there to protect you, not trip you up. 

[freetherapy2-0]

upon return

*all images are my own. 

I'm back, its been a lengthy full circle but I made it. Almost 3 years later and I have returned back to the very place I left this blog - little old me sat doodling, scribbling and pondering in rural France, accounting for each and every one of the lessons I have since adopted over my time in Australia. (Oh boy, there have been a lot!). 

Whilst I am hesitant to sound cliché and all ‘the world is a book and those who do not travel, read only a page’ and every other inspired quote that accompanies it... I can safely say that at 27 years of age, I am quietly confident that the book of my life is already nearing a novel. Contemplating purchasing a library to host all 80+ years when the time comes?

I explored, I jumped, I swam, I loved, I danced, I cried, I lead, I grew, I fell (too many times), I screamed, I hurt, I questioned, I cringed, I flew, I travelled, I packed, I slept, I broke, I smiled, I learnt, I blushed, I drove, I rode, I moved, I burnt, I kissed, I held, I celebrated, I softened, I ate, I drank, I encouraged and most of all I understood myself more in those 3 years than I ever imagined, but only by going through some of my most questionable and frustratingly difficult times. 

Travel opens doors, routes, roads and pathways you never even knew existed. If it wasn't for stepping foot on that Cathay Pacific flight in February 2016, I can confidently say that I would not have reached the compassionate, loving, tough, decisive female that I now am today. 

Life is no bed of roses thats for sure, but I guarantee when you're handed your one of a kind, red leathered This Is Your Life scrapbook - it won't be the floral happy dances which leave you feeling grateful for how far you have come. 

Travel ain’t easy, I was one of those individuals who considered it a hop, skip and a jump to yet another fun inducing experience - having spent a lot of my youth doing just that. Australia was different, it was tough and awesome rolled into one tightly packed adventure - that I can now look back and say I wouldn't trade for even just one more look at the open ocean on my doorstep. 

I plan to journal each of the lessons learnt in this little space over the coming few weeks. But until then, oh is it good to be home. <3