freezing82 - Tumblr blog

freezing82 · 2 months ago

Text

Reblogging so that I remember to read this over breakfast tomorrow! ❤️ Thanks for the weekend treat, @blainesebastian !

best behavior

word count: 9,442 ship: Nick Leister x reader rating: NC-17 (for some smut, suggestive sexual language and expletives) summary: While you're excited to see your brother when he comes to visit, you know that it'll also come with a dinner with your parents. And that's something you're never looking forward to. notes: just wanted an excuse to write some protective and supportive nick 🥰 notes2: gifs from here, masterlist is here!

Smoothing a hand over your face, you sit down on the edge of your bed where Nick is on his stomach reading a book. It’s a lazy Saturday, just spending time with one another, a long day of hanging out at his place in the pool and eating way too much food after the fact. He drove you back here with the windows down and the music a little too loud, his hand stretched across the divide to lace fingers together, resting his palm along your thigh. Your cheeks are warm from wine and a shower with the water too hot, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You’ve been dating Nick for two years and somehow, days like this always make you feel like the very beginning. Butterflies in your stomach, a warm glow behind your ribs. Just utterly in love with him.

That’s always been the easy part.

The hard part? Well. You’re still working on it.

It’s always been a little difficult for you to open up, to share things with Nick. It’s not him, exactly, that’s hard to talk to. It’s just that you’re used to people judging, used to them not understanding, not seeing you. It’s unfortunately been a staple in your life—with family, with friends, with relationships.

Granted, it only takes one instance with Nick for you to learn that that’d never be the case with him.

It’s a combination of things, you realize, happening at once.

You’ve bottled things up your entire life. Your parents aren’t exactly the poster-children for handling or managing their emotions well. They never talk about how they really feel or why it’s important to vent or share before tidal waves swallow them. The sad part is, this isn’t even something that’s passed down to you—this is memorized behavior. Your father is a block of ice, a deaf ear, and your mother has somehow convinced you that oversharing (or rather, sharing in general) isn’t attractive.

Distantly, you know that’s not healthy and you do your best to unlearn it in relationships that mean something to you—your brother, friendships, boyfriends, but it’s a lot harder than it seems. Especially when you put up resistance and no one pushes, no one gently tries to take down a wall that you’ve carefully crafted around yourself to keep your feelings in.

No one, until you start dating Nick.

Which is probably why, when he senses something is off and asks you for the second time in different and supportive words if you’re okay —that bottle that’s been tipping back and forth inside of you for about two days explodes.

You love your job at the bookstore, it’s one of the things that feels most put-together in your life. Especially for a future that you want working with kids, becoming a teacher—you’re able to spend time reading books and help develop reading programs and activities for the kids that come in. You made the mistake of trying to tell your parents about an event that you put together because you were excited about it. In turn, you get a twenty-minute lecture about how your future job needed to have more ‘substance’.

A conversation that’s not new, yet is painful all the same. Something that you’ve learned to swallow, smile and nod about and then move on. To brush it under the rug where it belongs because lingering on it will do nothing but hurt.

And yet you’ve let those feelings build for far too long, and when Nick gently tries to pry you open, because he can tell you’ve been upset for the past few days, a wave of emotions come crashing down—hard.

Your face crumples and you try to hide the reaction with your hands but you’re not quick enough, a sob bursting out of your mouth before the onslaught of tears comes. Embarrassment stings in your chest so sharply that you attempt to turn away from him,

“Hey,” Nick gently reaches for your elbow, tugging you closer. “Oh, hey. C’mere.” He whispers, wrapping his arms around you. He holds you tightly, absorbing every shuddered cry that rocks your body.

He has to think this is so pathetic, the fact that you’re crying over something that happened two days ago, that you don’t have to listen to what you’re parents are telling you about what to eventually do with your life, like it’s somehow written in stone—that this is the first time in a long time it feels like someone actually cares enough to hear what’s wrong.

But of course, Nick doesn't make you feel like that at all.

He doesn’t try to ask you what’s happened, just keeps you against his chest for the worst of it, his one hand mapping circles up and down your back while the other threads his fingers through your hair. He presses so many kisses against your forehead and temple that you begin to lose track.

Eventually, when you pull back to look at him, Nick cups your cheek. He brushes his thumb along the bone underneath your one eye and offers you the softest of smiles that somehow lightens the heaviness in your chest.

Which is why when your breathing evens out and the tears stop, you tell him everything.

Still. It’s not always easy. You’ve gotten a lot better at it, but the moment something happens that you want to tell him, something that’s important…you feel yourself clam up, snap shut, bury it.

Which is how you’ve been sitting on this particular nugget of information about your family for the past week. Something reaches deep into your chest and clutches, creating a heartbeat in your ears.

Nick bumps your leg with his elbow, snapping your attention to him. The brush that was sitting on your thigh almost tumbles onto the floor. You manage to catch it, a soft hum of amusement from your boyfriend.

“Fast hands.”

You smile a little, a small sound rumbling in your chest. “You would know.”

Nick sets his book down, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of your knee. “I would.”

He shifts on the bed until he’s seated behind you. There’s a silent conversation as he kisses the back of your shoulder, his arm slipping around your waist. You’re not wearing much, just underwear and one of his t-shirts, but the touches here and there are not inherently sexual. It’s more of a deep-seated intimacy, something that fills you up so entirely that you’re not sure how you didn’t have it before.

His one hand rubs at your waist while the other reaches for the brush on your lap. You close your eyes when his fingers begin to thread through your damp hair, guiding the brush to follow afterwards. The touches are deft and measured, getting tangles out. But it’s not just about combing out the strands, there are gentle questions he’s not asking, because he knows you. Can sense the tense lines in your shoulders, can feel the way words are tucked underneath your tongue.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” He asks softly, his breath fluttering along the back of your neck.

Despite the soft sigh that leaves your chest, a twinge of a smile tugs the corners of your mouth. Because he understands what you need. It’s almost frustrating how well he’s able to see right through you. Almost. You appreciate that no matter how tightly wound you might appear, he’s always there, gently encouraging you to open up.

There’s a tender, knee-jerk reaction to keep him out, to hide, but his hands brushing your hair unwind some of your hesitation. “My brother and his fiancée, Gina, are coming to visit from New York on Tuesday.”

Nick doesn’t pause in his ministrations but you can tell he’s listening to you, calm and even breaths that sweep against your back every so often, encouraging you to keep talking. You glance down at your hands, wringing your fingers on your lap.

“I haven’t seen him in a few years, not since we moved here, so,” You swallow over an emotion in your throat.

Truth is, you get along amazingly with your brother. He’s one of your favorite people in the world. Much like Nick and his relationship with Maddie, you and your brother, Alec, have been inseparable since you were kids. Despite the fact that he’s five years older than you, you’ve grown up playing together, looking out for one another, and getting into trouble for shared shenanigans. That closeness has never been diminished, not even from living further away, even though you miss being able to just show up at his place without an invitation to hang out or check in.

You can’t wait to see him, even though sometimes his presence comes as a double-edged sword. Your parents have done their best work at trying to drive an invisible wedge between the two of you where it doesn’t belong. For whatever reason, he’s always been the golden child all throughout growing up. If anyone were to meet Alec though, you’d never know that he was constantly put in the center of attention, he’s never let that praise go to his head. He’s down to earth, kind, funny, and dedicated—everything that he has, he’s worked his ass off for. And yet, for reasons that feel like a briar patch in your lungs, your parents practically worship the ground he walks on. Like everything he touches literally turns to gold.

You’re not saying that there’s no justification to praise Alec for any of his accomplishments, especially lately. He’s working as one of the youngest positions in a supply-chain company and gets paid really well for it. He’s also been putting funds together to fix up an old brownstone to eventually move in with his soon-to-be wife. Gina is practically a Disney princess; she's so sweet, not to mention successful in her own right. They’re just a really good couple. Textbook, almost.

You couldn’t be happier for Alec, he deserves it.

And yet…it always seems like some sort of competition between the two of you in your parent’s eyes. Even though it’s never been like that privately for you and him. Neither you nor Alec take much stock in that commentary, it’s just something to smile and roll your eyes over. You’ve learned a long time ago that your parent’s approval is not the be-all-end-all to how you feel about yourself. Or at least, it shouldn’t be. Though it doesn’t make it any less painful when it’s pointed out.

You don’t even realize you haven’t finished your thought process until Nick speaks up, starting on the other side of your shoulder. He runs the brush through the locks there, over and over, and it settles your heartbeat in your throat better than anything else.

“I’m sure you’re looking forward to seeing him.”

You nod, leaning back a little until your shoulders bump against his chest. Nick stops brushing your hair, his arms wrapping around you from behind. He hooks his chin over your shoulder, tipping his chin down to press a kiss to your jawline.

“Yeah, I just wish my parents weren’t ruining it by having some sort of overzealous dinner.”

That’s totally bogus, anyways? You know them. They just want to show off and pretend to be something they’re not in front of Gina because she comes from money. Despite Gina being one of the most grounded people you’ve ever met, it’s like your parents think they need to impress her, that she’ll report back how everything was to her own parents.

You roll your eyes, your head tipping until it rests on Nick’s collarbone. He doesn’t comment but instead, gently squeezes you. He’s only met your parents a handful of times but it doesn’t take a genius to put two-and-two together to figure out that Nick doesn’t like them. Or rather, he doesn’t respect them and it’s directly related to how they’ve made you feel. How they continue to make you feel.

Regardless of that, Nick has always been a perfect gentleman around them. He’s never said anything outright to your mom or dad, has never caused waves, has always been polite and respectful. A mask that fits in with a few others you’ve seen sliding over the features of his face, indistinguishable if you don’t know him well. You understand that mask perfectly well, after all, you tend to wear your own when handling your parents’ disappointments. You’ve already told him that it wouldn’t be worth it to get into it with them, anyways. You’ve been dealing with their sour mood swings all your life, you can take it.

Nick lets out a long breath out of his nose, “You said it was on Tuesday?”

Chewing on your lower lip, you nod, “Yeah, I was hoping you could…” Then the upcoming week slams into view as your eyes snap to the calendar hanging above your desk. Fuck, “Shit, I didn’t realize it was the same night you had that fight scheduled.”

You can feel Nick shake his head but you keep talking, so annoyed with yourself that you didn’t put it together when it came to those dates. As much as you hate watching Nick fight in the ring, you’d much rather be there than at a dinner table with your parents.

“Lion’s been trying to organize that for forever and I can’t—”

Nick squeezes you again, “Hey,” He whispers in your ear, waiting until you turn a little in his arms to face him, “I’ll be there.” He holds your gaze, nuzzling your nose with his own until a ghost of a smile pulls at the corners of your mouth. “Okay?”

Admittedly, there’s a bubble of relief that bursts in your chest when you know you won’t be going to that dinner alone. You’re definitely excited to see your brother, you don’t want your parents to ruin it or take that away from you. But it’ll make you feel better to have someone in your corner.

You nod, wanting to thank him but you know you don’t need to. He wouldn’t let you anyways, that’s not what he’s after. He just wants to be there for you, as he has been since you’ve met him. And you can’t help but love him a little more for that.

Planting a kiss to his cheek, you turn as he shifts so that you’re both leaning against the headboard of your bed. He’s propped up against a pile of pillows while you get comfortable against his chest.

“Can’t promise the food will be good either.” You mumble.

A soft laugh rumbles in Nick’s chest that you feel more than hear, “We’ll go to the diner after—french fries and milkshakes.”

“Something to look forward to.” You agree with a grin and finally feel your body slowly begin to relax against him, one muscle at a time.

—

Smoothing your hands over your plaid dress for what has to be the fiftith time, you chastise yourself for wearing something so fucking uncomfortable. This is a typical occurrence for you, unfortunately. Despite settling into the fact that no matter what choices you make your parents will probably never be happy with the things you do, wear, or say…there’s still that niggling inside of you to try and appease them.

Hence this stupid dress.

It’s something your mother bought you three Christmases ago and it’s not your style in the slightest. Maybe if it didn’t have puffy sleeves, or if it was more low-cut than the stifling high neck…maybe if it didn’t feel like it was suffocating you. You got ready at Nick’s house, kind of hiding out there until this dinner reared its ugly head. You should have brought options instead of just…this.

“We can turn around,” Nick says, not looking at you as he drives, but his one hand leaves the steering wheel to squeeze yours that’s on your thigh. “Or stop at a store, buy you another dress.”

A laugh rumbles up out of your throat, “Right, because I have money to burn for that.”

Nick’s lips twitch, like you don’t already know that he’d buy you whatever you needed, whatever you asked for. “Can forgo the dress altogether then.” He shifts at a red light, turning his head to look in your direction.

“Oh yeah, that’ll really be something to talk about at the dinner table.”

He shrugs his one shoulder, his eyes giving you a heated onceover despite this stupid dress choking the life out of you. “I know what you’re wearing under there, I’ve got zero complaints.”

A small snort leaves your nose, your cheeks flushing pink as you playfully poke his side with the hand he’s holding. You appreciate his offer, even moreso at his attempt to distract you as you head to your parent’s place. You wish this dinner was somewhere public, as if the bustle of a busy restaurant might help detract from whatever conversations are going to spin between your family.

He eventually pulls into the long driveway that leads up to your parent’s house. You don’t come from near as much money that Nick does, or apparently what Alec is marrying into, but you’ve always been comfortable. You’ve never wanted for anything a day in your life and you know most have it far worse off. You also know that the profession you’re interested in is severely underpaid when it comes to teachers. Which is probably another reason why your parents are against you becoming one, they’ve always been the type of people to crave things they don’t need, including acceptance and notoriety. The only thing they asked about when you told them you were dating Nick is what his parents do (and then once more when they realized Nick was directly responsible for a successful ride-share app).

When he parks, you squeeze Nick’s hand after he pockets the car keys. He looks over at you, raising his eyebrows when nothing comes out of your mouth. Your jaw ticks, gaze wandering towards the front door. You don’t want to say anything, exactly? But…

His eyes soften as he follows your gaze, lifting your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles, “I’ll be on my best behavior,” He teases, “Promise.”

You let out a long sigh, but there’s the softest of smiles pulling the corners of your mouth, “I owe you one.”

He shakes his head, opening up the car door, “You really don’t.”

You follow him out of the car, a small grimace crinkling your nose because…you’re not sure about that. The night still has yet to happen and you already know there’s a ton of better things you and him could be doing that’s not this.

His hand reaches for yours again while approaching the front door, fingers lacing absentmindedly. You tug him a little closer, “I don’t know, I can easily think of a few ways I could make this up to you.”

Nick smiles and rings the doorbell, turning his head to kiss the bridge of your nose. “I’ll take you up on that if we survive.” He winks, nipping at your lower lip before offering a small kiss that melts some of the remaining nerves. When the door opens, you look over as your mother lingers in the doorway.

Carole gives a small smile, her eyes instantly grazing over your dress before humming, “Don’t you look beautiful?” Then, “Though maybe another size up would have been more comfortable.”

You let out a breath, tipping your head towards Nick to change the subject, “You remember my boyfriend, right mom? Nick?”

Your mother’s gaze snaps to him standing beside you and even though she’s smiling, you can tell that you’ve thrown her a bit off kilter with him being here. You didn’t let her know you were bringing him in case your parents attempted to feed you bullshit about not being allowed to have a guest at a so-called ‘family dinner’.

She clears her throat, nodding, stepping aside to let you both in, “I do. How are you Nick?”

Nick slides his leather jacket off, handing it over to your mother to hang up as she opens a side closet door. He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans that probably could pass as black and an expensive short-sleeved, collared, cream colored sweater. His accent jewelry is the same, a tiny bit of gel in his hair to tame the wild curls near his forehead. Your stomach does a flip as a waft of his cologne, combined with something that’s purely him, brushes your nose.

“I’m good Mrs. Y/L/N, thank you.”

She hums, not asking any additional questions and certainly not offering for him to call her ‘Carole’. Which is just fine for Nick; the moment your mother stops speaking, his attention returns to you, his hand reaching out for yours.

Though before he can manage that, you hear your brother come down the hallway with a boisterous, “I thought I heard Y/N.” He grins when he reaches you, picking you up in a spinning hug that easily makes you laugh. When he sets you down, he grimaces at the dress, “Really?”

“Shut up.” You laugh, swatting his chest, but god—it’s really good to see him.

Alec is dressed in a pair of light colored jeans and a dark blue button down rolled up at the sleeves. It’s almost unfair how casual he can dress and probably nothing was said about it. But your usual style is met with commentary and not so subtle looks as if you’re wearing a dead fish and not long silky dresses paired with spiky heeled boots.

Your brother squeezes your arms, bringing you back from your thoughts. He’s taller than you but he’s got similar features that leave no doubts to you two being related—same hair color, eye color, and a dimple in his one cheek when he really smiles. He glances over at Nick, raising his eyebrows.

“You must be the boyfriend that I’ve heard so much about,” He offers his hand and Nick takes a step forward to shake it.

“Hopefully good things.” Nick offers back.

You smile, your hand finding his when he’s done greeting Alec, “Only good things.”

“And the occasional rant,” Alec teases, winking in your direction before motioning down the hallway. “C’mon, Gina is excited to see you too.”

Your mother clasps her hands together, humming, “Dinner should be ready in a few minutes here.”

Drawing in a breath, you glance over at Nick and press a kiss to his cheek as you follow everyone towards the kitchen. Gina is there in an apron, helping your mother put the finishing touches on anything that still needs to be done. She’s got her long, blonde hair tied up in a loose ponytail, a pretty pink lipstick bringing out the shades of blue in her eyes—she’s the type of easy beauty you wish you could pull off. When she looks up and notices you, she gives a bright smile as you all come in.

Introductions are gone through again and Gina gives you a firm hug before offering a piece of cucumber that she’s cut for the salad that’s in a bowl in front of her. You take it with a hum, popping it into your mouth. You don’t see your dad anywhere, but knowing him, he’s probably in front of a football game in the living room as he waits for everything to get set up. Or maybe even trying to figure out what bottle of wine to put on the table to go with the food at dinner.

“We’re going to need another plate setting.” Carole comments and even though her tone is light, you know her well enough to detect a slight edge. “Not sure if there’s going to be enough food…”

“There will be more than enough,” Alec comments, pouring himself some more water. He cuts off the fabricated hysteria before it can start and you give him a small, grateful smile.

Leaning your elbows against the counter, Nick stands beside you, his hand resting on your lower back, “Want some help?” You ask Gina, she’s been cutting cucumbers but there’s still other things to do. You feel like doing something with your hands will only help with the nervous energy.

“Sure,” She grins and shares the cutting board with you, grabbing a knife so you can begin slicing cherry tomatoes in half. “Your birthday is coming up, isn’t it?” She asks and you nod—within the next month. “Did you decide what you wanted to do? Alec said you were thinking about Italy?”

You scoff out a laugh, “I wasn’t being serious. I just said it’d be cool to go one day because I’ve never been.”

Gina lets out a romantic sigh, glancing at your brother, “I’ve been trying to convince him to do our honeymoon there. So I understand the pull.”

You grin, “Let me guess, he’s happy with going to Disney World.”

“Hey,” Alec huffs, playfully smacking your leg with a dish towel, “It’s the happiest place on earth.”

Another laugh leaves your lips and Nick brushes a kiss at your temple; you don’t need to look at him to know he’s smiling. “I’m not debating that. Cinderella’s castle is super romantic.”

Gina rolls her eyes but it’s that kind of love, you recognize, in which she’d do anything for Alec. Even a honeymoon in Disney. But knowing your brother, he already has something up his sleeves that involves Italy, just like his fiancée wants. It’s one of the reasons you were talking about it on the phone, not just your whims for a birthday trip. Though it’d definitely be nice.

“I’ve been taking Italian lessons just in case,” Gina then shares, gathering up a small stack of cut cucumbers into her hands and plopping them into the salad bowl. “Waking up in Florence, can you imagine?”

“I told Y/N that’s where we could go,” Nick shares, raising his eyebrows with a soft smile.

And he has. He’s offered you that getaway option for your birthday. You, him, Lion and Jenna escaping to Italian cities, as many as you could fit in distance-wise the week of you turning a year older. But…you can’t possibly shirk responsibilities for that, right? You’ve got a day job and college classes coming up to fill for your teaching degree. Not to mention you’re kinda strapped for cash unlike the three of them are. Nick has never suggested for a moment that you’d need to pay for anything but…you’re not sure if you’re comfortable with that.

Regardless of how romantic it is.

“And I told Nick that it’s way too much.”

He smirks a little, which is mostly just air leaving his nose. He squeezes your side almost in a purposely ticklish place so your body arches closer to his own, “And I told you that your birthday is worth it.” You know what he’s saying, that you’re worth it. You can’t help but smile, shaking your head as you lean over and plant a quick and soft kiss to his lips.

Gina hums, her eyes darting between the two of you, “Alec, I hope you’re writing down notes on romance.”

Alec grunts but he’s smiling, mostly at Gina, “Actually I’m ignoring everything that has to do with my sister at the moment.” He does motion towards the other end of the kitchen though, where it leads into a study, “You any good at pool, Nick?”

Nick nods, “I can hold my own.”

You playfully bump your hip against his, encouraging him to follow your brother in that direction. Dinner is almost done anyways, so it’s not like there’s much to do in the kitchen as you and Gina finish this salad. You’ve been wondering why your mother has been so silent but it’s then you realize she’s left the kitchen at some point, probably to go find your father. Relief splinters throughout your body that she didn’t hear about your birthday aspirations. Though you know that just means that dinner will probably have even worse commentary than if she would have been in here to give her criticisms on all the Italy talk.

Nick pulls away slightly, his gaze finding yours and holding it for a moment. He’s making sure you’ll be alright if he leaves and while you appreciate the sentiment, you like the idea of him getting to know your brother, having some time with him. When you nod, he leans forward and brushes a kiss over your forehead before following Alec out of the room.

Letting out a long breath, you look up at Gina, who’s wearing a warm expression. “What?” You laugh.

“Nothing,” She shrugs, “He’s really sweet. Nick.”

You hum knowingly, grabbing another tomato to cut in half, “He is.” And a hundred other things running through your thoughts, “Still not sure what he’s doing with me,” You joke, “I dunno how I got so lucky.”

Gina just smiles, her gaze wandering towards where Alec and Nick went. “I know exactly what you mean.”

—

After helping Gina with the salad, you wander past the study in search of your father to let him know it’s time to eat. A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth as you hear the soft echo of Nick and Alec ribbing one another over the pool table, not keeping score but having a good time anyways. It touches something deep in your chest that they’re getting along, both of them important to you in different ways. Especially with how difficult family can be.

Speaking of, you round the corner and pause at the small wine cellar that’s attached to your father’s office, watching him examine a bottle in his hands.

“Dinner’s ready, dad.”

He looks up, adjusting his glasses, “Oh, Y/N.” There’s a once-over on your dress, a prickle between his eyebrows because he recognizes it, then, “I’m just preparing you, your mother wants to talk about a few things at dinner.”

You sigh softly—that can only be about one thing.

“Even though the ‘prince that was promised’ is here?” You mumble under your breath and then wince about that because…your anger, your jealousy, is not with your brother. Not really. Rubbing the back of your neck, you straighten your shoulders.

“Shouldn’t we focus on Alec? There’s plenty to ask him about his business and the wedding.” There’s no need to talk about me, whispers against the back of your mind, almost out of your mouth.

Your father gives you a tired look, like this song and dance isn’t new, so why are you putting up a fuss? “You know your mother. This wouldn’t be so painful if you considered what she’s trying to tell you. We only have your best interests in mind.”

Except it doesn’t feel like that at all. Instead, it feels like the fifth time in the variation of this conversation, of not being heard, of being disregarded. You think that hurts the most—what you want isn’t considered. It’s merely pushed aside as something irrelevant.

“Dad…”

“Y/N.” He replies, tone final, taking his glasses off. He looks at you calculatingly, like one would a bottle of wine.

You bite down on the inside of your cheek, the bridge of your nose stinging as you shake your head, dismissing the words stuck in your throat. What would be the point? The acquisition might be led by your mother, but your father is just as complicit—a silent bystander, never adding to the conversation but never being helpful, either. Never on your side.

You turn to head upstairs, slipping inside the bathroom to compose yourself. You don’t dare look at yourself in the mirror, afraid of what you’d see there. That stupid fucking dress feeling like it’s getting tighter around your throat by the minute. You stare at the porcelain sink, your eyes filling with tears. Blinking rapidly to clear them, you sniffle, wiping one away that skitters down your cheek.

Taking a few moments to breathe and run your fingers under your eyes, you eventually open the door, turning to go down the hall towards the dining room—

And see Nick waiting for you right outside the bathroom. He’s leaning against the wall, his gaze drinking you in the moment you’re in his frame of view.

He takes one look at your face before, “We can leave if you want.”

A wet scoff leaves your lips, “I wish that’s what I wanted.”

But he reads the unspoken words beneath the ones you’ve said. You wish your parents supported you, respected you, that they’d just make things easy. Like they do with Alec.

There’s a question in his eyes as he lifts a hand to cup your cheek, brushing his thumb over the bone where the rest of your tears haven’t fallen yet. You bite down on the side of your tongue so that they don’t. It’s not worth it. You know that.

And then, like you’ve been trying to do more of, you share how you feel with someone who’s always been in your corner. “My dad basically just said to grin and bear it through dinner.”

Nick’s face clouds over in a telltale sign that he is not pleased with what’s been said to you—that you basically just have to endure whatever hurtful words are spat over the tablecloth and fancy dishes.

Sighing softly, you shake your head. “Don’t.” You whisper. “It’s one dinner.”

“It’s not.” His voice is quiet but sharp, a knife wrapped in velvet. “That’s another reason why I’m pissed off.”

Meaning they’re like this to you all the time, any time they feel like they can get away with it. And that’s why it’s even more fucked up—your parents aren’t doing this to be malicious. They just��don’t consider your feelings, don’t seriously take how you want your future to go. There’s a lack of respect that you can’t understand. But you’ve lived with it your whole life, you’ve tried to fight those battles, you’ve stood up for yourself the best that you can. What else is there? Totally cutting yourself off from your parents? You’re not sure if you’re ready for something like that…if you could do it.

You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his. “Best behavior,” You tease lightly, trying to steer him away from looking so murderous. “Remember?”

He lets out a slow breath out of his nose, a halfhearted eyeroll. His jaw clenches but eventually he nods, tone gentle and at odds with how upset he is. Angry on the behalf of you. And it means more to you than you think you can voice without crying.

“Come here,” Nick encourages you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a hug. He squeezes you tightly, as if he can convey without words how much you mean to him. You read him loud and clear, allowing your eyes to close so you can focus on stopping your lower lip from wobbling.

Your arms snake around his waist, one of your hands holding onto his sweater like a lifeline, until your pulse slows. And when you eventually have to pull apart, he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth and holds onto your hand to lead you into the dining room where your family is waiting.

—

Dinner starts off as it usually does—easy. The conversation is light as dishes are passed around and drinks are poured. Your mother has made your brother’s favorite meal, which is lasagna. Even though you’ve never been a fan of fennel, you pile a large piece onto your plate and eat your fill of it. You’re mostly just here for the warm bread and butter and your dad’s apple pie dessert. After finishing one piece of bread, the basket suddenly appears by your plate again and when you turn to glance at Nick beside you, he offers a playful wink.

You can’t help but smile, grabbing another piece and lathering it up in butter before having a bite. Nick’s mellowed out a little as everyone started eating, but you think it’s for your benefit more than anything else, to help you feel relaxed. You’re not going to lie and say it hasn’t helped.

Pushing thoughts of the words exchanged with your father aside, you pay attention to your brother as he fills your parents in on how his job is going. He just got a raise last year, so he’s headed in the right direction with his company. You’re perfectly happy with the conversation bypassing you, flitting through the air back and forth between Alec explaining aspects of his job or life in New York and your parents offering encouraging sounds and hopeful words.

Except you know better, because it never stays like that.

“That’s what we’ve been trying to discuss with Y/N.” You tilt your head up at your name being said, eyes landing on your mother. So it begins. “A job needs to have a clear ladder of success.”

You bite down on the inside of your cheek—by ‘success’, you know she means ‘money’.

Alec lets out a breath, but he’s smiling as he purposely twists what she’s saying by using the job you have now instead of the one your mother is talking about, “Oh c’mon mom, Y/N climbs ladders every day at the bookstore.”

A soft giggle rumbles in Gina’s chest, her hand slipping over Alec’s in solidarity and you can’t help but smile at your brother too. Your parents don’t approve of the direction your life is going in, but what else is new? You’re pretty sure you could pick anything under the sun to pursue and they’d have some sort of issue with it.

It just so happens you want to be a teacher, maybe elementary, maybe middle…you haven’t decided yet. But that’s the whole point of college, to figure it out. At the very least, you know you want to teach art, so you’re navigating what classes line up with the education ones you need. But you’re really serious about it…and everyone that matters has been supportive. After talking with your father, you’re reminded that even if you followed what your parents wanted to a T— went to the college they picked, pursued the job they selected, eventually married whoever they deemed worthy, they still wouldn’t be satisfied.

You take a very small amount of comfort in that.

Nick clears his throat, turning to look towards your father, “My dad mentioned the company that you work at the other day, Mr. Y/L/N. Something about a joint project coming up?”

Your father’s eyes light up a bit at the attention and you could practically kiss Nick over his plate of lasagna for the shift in discussion. Even though he’s listening to your father’s reply, his hand moves under the table to rest on your knee, giving it a comforting squeeze. You lean a little into the touch, allowing it to distract you as you put another small portion of food on your plate. You’re getting full but even so, you’re hoping Nick meant what he said about a diner stop after this. You feel like a cleanse of crispy fries and thick milkshakes is just what you need.

When everyone eats what they want, the table lingers and talks before dessert and coffee. You’re almost hopeful at getting through this dinner with your parents unscathed but…it’s wishful thinking as the conversation pendulum swings back in your direction when Alec asks,

“So you ready for college?” He has another sip of wine after Gina fills his glass, “You know, I was thinking about that arts and crafts program you do at the bookstore—it'll probably look great on a resume for your teaching job.”

Warmth spreads throughout your chest at being seen. Alec’s always encouraged your journey in figuring out what you want to do with teaching and the fact that he brings it up means more to you than you can express with words. But that same warmth is quickly snuffed out when your mother interjects,

“I’m still unsure how that is part of your responsibility at the bookstore,” She shakes her head, “It’s like taking care of someone else’s children at a daycare.”

You straighten your shoulders, letting her words roll off. You give yourself a moment before you reply, not wanting to say something you’ll regret, and have another forkful of lasagna. It’s beginning to taste like ash on your tongue.

“It’s something I asked my boss if we could do,” You shrug, “There’s a lot of kids who come in after school and places like libraries have those sorts of things all the time. I just figured it might be a good idea.”

Not to mention, a lot of the kids stick around and then pick out books to read—and really, isn’t that the whole point? To get them excited about reading?

“It is,” Nick reassures about it being a good idea, his hand squeezing your knee again. Your own slips under the table and brushes your fingers over his, playing with a ring that’s on one of his fingers.

There’s a blinking red light in the back of your mind that tells you to stop while you’re behind, but your mother’s tone digs right under your skin. That she can’t find anything worthwhile about the time you’re spending building experience with what you want to do with your future, that you obviously love art and working with kids. That teaching is something you want to do.

You draw in a calming breath, trying to straighten your spine and not feel like a deflated balloon. “Besides, teaching will be a lot more than that?” You tell her, “Looking after someone’s kids, I mean. It’s—”

She gives you a look that is almost amusement but it’s obviously at your expense, like you’re the one misunderstanding here, and it cuts you off at the knees— “I’m just trying to get you to understand that you can find a job that not anyone can do.” She has a slow sip of her wine, cutting into another piece of lasagna. “You can pull a random person off the street to become a teacher.”

Her words hit like a slap to the face, your cheeks heating with embarrassment even though you know what she’s saying isn’t true. But the fact that she’s equated teaching with being an ‘easy’ profession that anyone can do…it just goes to show that she knows nothing about what being a teacher is. It’s so much deeper than people give it credit for, it’s so much more than just building and carrying out curriculum.

Nick bristles beside you, his hand shifting to grip yours when it begins to tremble. Fuck, you should have known better than to try and have this conversation right now, so openly at the dinner table. It’s not worth it—your mom is someone who will never see eye-to-eye about this. You knew this was coming and yet you still pushed forward, tried. You feel like a fool even though you know that’s the furthest thing from being true.

You clear your throat, trying to remove the lump that’s found a home there, not daring to look across the table at your brother or Gina because you don’t want to do something stupid like cry.

“Well, I guess we can agree to disagree.” You reply, voice as even as you can make it. You just want the subject to shift into something else. Nick’s thumb brushes over your knuckles and when your mother makes a soft noise of contempt, you chance a glance at your boyfriend.

“We’re not going to ‘disagree’ about something as important as your future.”

Nick’s body is still but there’s an undercurrent of ice settling in the usual warmth of his brown eyes, a muscle flexing in his jaw like he’s grinding his molars so he doesn’t say something. He lets out a slow breath from his nose, picking up his water to have a sip—

“You’ll end up a glorified babysitter, it’s not a job to be taken seriously.”

And then his restraint snaps. “That’s enough.”

The phrase is sharp and commanding, settling in the room like a nuclear bomb. The aftermath is utter silence in which you almost need to hold your breath, like you might have imagined Nick speaking up. But you didn’t, because your mother’s face almost turns red at being scolded.

“I beg your pardon?” She’s practically choking silverware in her hands.

You’re holding onto Nick’s hand so tightly that you’ve got to be hurting him, but all he does is brush a soothing thumb along your knuckles again. You want to say something, to cut this conversation in half, to somehow…move on? But you know by the stance of Nick’s body that he’s not backing down from metaphorically stepping in-between you and your mother. He might not be in the ring but it doesn’t change that he’s geared up for a fight.

“With all due respect, you heard what I said.” To his credit, Nick’s tone doesn’t change. His voice doesn’t elevate, his anger is cold. Which somehow makes it worse. “You’re belittling her into making her feel like she’s less than she is because, what? She wants to be a teacher?” He lets a slow breath from his nose. “I can think of worse things. Like monotonously clicking open a spreadsheet or endless conference calls with China over what supplies they need to order. There are other ways a job can pay that has nothing to do with money.”

He glances towards your brother. “No offense.”

Alec’s lips twitch into an almost smile, shaking his head, “None taken—it’s definitely not for everyone. And neither is teaching, that takes someone special.” Which goes directly against what your mother has said about how ‘anyone’ can jump into that job.

Your father at least has the decency to look a tiny bit ashamed, but he doesn’t intervene. He never does. At this point in your life, you don’t expect him to. He never wants to deal with the backlash so he just lets her be like this. Because it’s easier.

Your mother just lets out an offended gasp, her hand resting near her collarbone like she’s trying to control her reaction. Her animosity, however, is not directed towards your brother at all—her lazer focus is on Nick.

“Your father will be severely disappointed when he hears how rude you’re being after you were invited into our home—to a dinner you weren’t supposed to be at, mind you.”

You get the implication immediately. You never told her Nick was coming, that your mother considers this a family only dinner.

But Nick is your person.

When he feels you tense up beside him, ready to defend him, he shifts his hand so that he’s squeezing your wrist, stopping you from saying anything. Your mother’s comment lands flat, Nick’s not threatened or flustered in the slightest as he calmly puts the napkin that was on his lap onto the table in front of him.

“The only thing my father is going to be disappointed in is the fact that I didn’t open my mouth sooner.”

Your mother actually sputters but Nick doesn’t respond with anything else, the implication is clear: she can say whatever she wants about him, but he’s not going to sit here any longer and listen to her disrespect you.

Whatever Carole is about to say, it’s silenced by your father putting his hand on her arm. She straightens her back, hard lines on her face as her eyes alight with flames, “I think it’s time you showed yourself out.”

Nick is standing before she even finishes her sentence and you begin to follow him, tossing your napkin on the counter. You’re certainly not staying here without him. Alec clears his throat,

“I think you owe her an apology, mom.”

“Don’t,” You manage softly, finding your voice, “It’s alright Alec.”

It’s not, but you appreciate him. His jaw ticks, like he wants to argue, but eventually nods softly before looking over at Nick.

“Really nice to meet you.” And you can read right through that too, he likes Nick, approves of what’s just happened with the attempt to put your mom into her place.

It probably won’t help in the long-run, but you can’t help but feel a flicker of warmth behind your ribcage at being so thoroughly stood up for. It means everything to have him in your corner.

Nick gives him a small smile before nodding his head at Gina too, “Yeah, likewise.”

He puts his hand on your lower back, guiding you out of the dining room and down the hall to where his coat is hanging up. You can hear the hushed voices of Alec arguing with your mother but you don’t try to listen to what they’re saying, you’re just happy to be leaving. Your boyfriend tugs his leather jacket from the closet and you follow him outside towards his McLaren.

He pauses in front of the car, turning to drape his jacket over your shoulders. He gently pulls the fabric closed over your chest, using it as momentum to tug you closer. You let out a soft sigh, not even realizing that you’re still shaking a little bit until you slide your arms through the sleeves.

Tilting your chin up to look at him, you whisper a small, “Thank you.”

Nick shakes his head, “You alright?”

You manage a small smile because…no. Not really. Despite having Nick stand up for you and how good that felt, it unfortunately doesn’t change the fact that he needed to do it in the first place. It’s heartbreaking and discouraging that your mother is so against something that obviously makes you happy? Your father seems indifferent, but that silence does nothing but fuel your mother’s fire.

Nick’s gaze softens, his hands cupping both of your cheeks before he leans down and kisses the corner of your mouth. You swallow over that lump returning to your throat, closing your eyes before tears can form, the bridge of your nose stinging. He shifts to wrap his arms around you, drawing you against his chest, his one hand clasping the back of your neck while the other rubs up and down your spine.

He holds you for a few minutes, your face tucked into his shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of his laundry detergent and something purely him.

“C’mon,” He says softly, “Let’s get you home,” His house, which honestly feels more like home than where you just left. “Cut that dress off you.”

You sniffle out a laugh as you pull back, nodding as he opens the passenger door for you. That awful feeling that lingers from dinner automatically begins to dissipate the moment Nick’s hand finds yours as you back up out of the driveway.

—

Nick holds that promise, he uses scissors to cut you right out of that dress despite the zipper working perfectly fine. A series of occasional giggles leave your lips, your hands covering your mouth, but you think that’s his intention. He presses random kisses along your body—your arm, your waist, your hip, your thigh…and then lifts you up onto his bathroom counter. He slips down between your legs, your dress falling in a flourish to the floor, forgotten about. He kisses the center of you, the seam of your lips through your underwear.

Your breathing shudders, your hand running through his curls, keeping him as close as possible.

He tugs your underwear aside, sliding his tongue along your slit and the moan that leaves your mouth echoes against the tiles of the bathroom. He definitely smirks against you, your legs widening as much as you can without losing the ability to ground yourself. Your eyes flutter closed when he begins to circle your clit and it takes such a short amount of time for Nick to have heat spinning through your veins. It begins to gather in pulsing waves in your lower belly, building and building—

Then his tongue slips inside you and fuck. The way he’s able to use his mouth should really be studied for science.

“Nick,” A breathless noise leaves you, warning him you’re about to cum.

He hums, bringing his attention back to your swollen clit, and within moments you shatter. You completely fall apart against him. He holds you steady, drawing out your orgasm until you begin to close your legs from sharp sensitivity. Your hips jerk with a soft whimper and Nick shifts as you lean back until your spine rests against the mirror.

He smiles up at you, lips wet from your arousal, curls mussed from your fingers running through them. His elbows rest on either side of your legs until you cup his cheek, encouraging him closer by playfully pinching his chin between your thumb and forefinger. Leaning down to kiss him, a soft moan leaves your throat, your other hand attempting to slide down between your bodies.

But Nick leans away, shaking his head a little, his fingers squeezing your wrist. Your eyebrows draw together, voice slightly breathless when you talk, “But you didn’t…”

“I know,” He whispers, running his thumb along your pulse point, “That was just for you.”

That warm, fuzzy feeling behind your chest blooms outward and you can’t help but smile as your lips brush his, drawing him into another kiss. It’s something lazy and languid that takes time until he pulls you into his arms, carrying you to bed.

—

Once you’ve both changed into comfortable clothes, which consists of a t-shirt and a new pair of underwear for you, Nick in his boxer briefs and an open zip-up hoodie, you lean against a pile of pillows along the headboard. The fries that you picked up at the diner are a little worse for wear since it took you so long to get to them, but neither of you seem to be bothered by it. Picking up your milkshake from the nightstand, you have a long sip, humming at the pleasant taste of chocolate smoothing over your tastebuds.

Your phone buzzes with a few texts from your brother,

Alec: sorry about mom, should have said something sooner Alec: Nick’s a really good guy, I like him…even though his confidence in pool is questionable Alec: hang out tomorrow? Just you and me?

You smile at the messages, hearting the one about Nick and giving a thumbs-up at the last one before setting your phone face down on his nightstand. Giving up on the fries, you turn to lie on your side, propping yourself against Nick as your TV plays a random movie. You’re not paying attention to it though, for the most part your gaze keeps wandering towards your boyfriend. The light reflecting from the TV is pretty against his skin, against the soft gold in his curls and you can’t help but smile a little, tucking your chin along his shoulder.

You press a soft kiss there and Nick turns his head, his lips grazing your temple.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He offers—tonight, your mother being the absolute worst, your father’s silence, any of it, all of it. And while you appreciate the offer, his concern, there’s nothing to really discuss. No matter how many times your mother is put into her place, regardless of how you try to explain to her your wants and needs, she’s going to continue to be utterly blind to them. Selfish. There’s nothing to change that.

But dinner kind of made you feel like…maybe that doesn’t matter. You’ve always had people on your side, but tonight solidified just how important it is to only listen to the voices that don’t mean anything.

“No,” You whisper, closing your eyes when he kisses the bridge of your nose, “I’m okay.”

You knew that tonight wasn’t going to be the best, it was to be expected given that you know how your family can be. And yet, you’re so grateful Nick was there, you’re not sure if it would have been something you could have stomached without him.

A twitch of amusement tugs the corners of your lips, remembering something he said when the dinner was brought up in the first place, “So…that was you on your best behavior?”

Nick smirks, eyes warm as he looks down at you. You can read the unspoken words right in his eyes—he has zero regrets about how he acted at that dinner, the things that left his mouth, the way he’s protective over you.

“Definitely.”

120 notes · View notes