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I don't know if any of you had the same experience as me, but I tried therapy when I was a teenager living in an abusive household and thought it was a waste of time. Ultimately my biggest problems (dad) were beyond my control and no amount of coping would make them better. Now that I'm an adult with actual control over my life and don't live with my dad anymore therapy is MUCH more helpful.

If any of you had bad experiences with therapy when you were younger it may be worth it to try again now.

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Start Here - Caitlyn Siehl

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And if, like me, you get so caught up with the ancient buildings and unusual pig accommodations of Monsanto, Portugal that you miss the main trail to the castle, you can accidentally end up here, looking off the edge. It used to be a chapel.

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terrifying your own child into submission makes you an abuser.

watching your child cry and screaming at them to stop and invalidating their pain and reasons for crying makes you an abuser.

staring at your child in disgust and contempt after they displease you makes you an abuser.

threatening to your child to take away their basic resources if they don’t give you exactly what you want makes you an abuser.

forcing your child to feel ashamed for not living up to your ideals makes you an abuser.

using slurs, hateful names and insults on your own child without any regard to what it does to their mental health makes you an abuser.

forcing your child to chase impossible expectations and making them feel like they’re worthless for not achieving them makes you an abuser.

acting like your child is a burden and a waste of space and blaming their illness/disability/depression on it makes you an abuser.

behaving like your child will never amount to anything and isn’t worth any resources and nurturing makes you an abuser.

making your child feel like they’re never good enough makes you an abuser.

if your child’s heart is hurting because they know no matter what they do and how hard they try they will always be a failure in your eyes, you are an abuser.

if your child can’t look at themselves without self hatred because they had to look at themselves from your perspective and all they saw is disgust and hatred, you’re an abuser.

If your child is struggling to believe they have the right to live and to be cared and loved, if they can’t stop hearing your hateful voice putting them down and using their every action to prove they’re worthless, you’re an abuser.

If you watched your child in pain and assured them they deserved it, you’re an abuser.

If your child can’t love themselves from how badly you hated them, you’re an abuser.

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save me save me i’m innocent!!!

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My family is messed up. Most of them hate each other and almost all are mentally ill. Especially my mum’s side.

Mum: anxiety attacks, probably bpd or maybe that’s just the trauma 😜

Brother: depression

Grandma: anorexia

Uncle: depression

Cousin: anxiety

Me: ptsd & panic disorder with a side of depression

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When I was going through it I always had the fantasy that when someone found out about the abuse, everything would be okay. I dreamt that people would care, worry, hug me n things. That was what I held onto.

Now people do know... and they don’t care. That hurts.

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abusive parents be like:

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I kind of forgot about this account but...

The *only* person I talk to about my current situation (physically and psychologically abusive) just said I’m annoying. Welp it must be time to isolate myself even online now :) must not allow myself to talk to a n y o n e.

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Daughters grow up being so unloved in homes that when they become women they just take whatever love they can get whether it’s real or not

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If you wish your parents had hit you and left marks on you, it means they already hurt you worse than that and you only wish you had any proof. If they put you in situation where you wish you have been physically harmed, it means you’re already tortured beyond that. Invisible abuse is worst to fight with and hardest to prove. Them getting into your head and taking away your point of view leaves deeper scar than injuries could. You’ve already been abused bad enough.

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Dear parents:

If you are yelling at your child for something and they start to cry, please consider the following:

Your child is genuinely sad

Your child does not react well to people yelling at them

Whatever you're yelling at them about makes them feel like shit

Your child just wanted to talk

Do not immediately assume:

Your child is looking for attention

Your child is throwing a tantrum

Your child is trying to get out of whatever trouble they're in

Your child is a brat who only cares about themself

If your child is crying, take action by:

Stop yelling

Asking what's wrong (preferably in a kind voice)

If the child does not answer, allow them to take time to calm down

Try talking to the child later (remember that the child does not owe you anything and may refuse your offer. Let them know they can open up to you ahen they feel up to it)

Finally, when your child is taking time to themself, consider why you were yelling at them and decide if you owe them an apology (because you probably do). If you're yelling at them for:

Not doing enough work around the house

Not leaving their room often enough

Not talking to you enough

Not challenging themselves/not doing what you want them to do by challenging themselves

Anything else that targets them specifically or anything they do

Then you may need to:

Rethink your life choices

Feel bad for being an ass

Consider their feelings

Understand that they just want to do what they think is best

Remember that your child can, in fact, think for themselves and understand what they need using some recently installed technology called a brain.

If you still feel the need to punish your child, do not punish them by:

Taking away something they love

Neglecting to talk to them

Making snide comments whenever they're around

Anything really

Taking away what they love doing

Being a general ass

As a healthy alternative to the constructed list above, you may feel obligated to try out such:

Doing nothing (an interesting new technique where the inflictor of punishment does not actually punish their child because they don't deserve it)

Please remember this in the future and maybe stop fucking yelling at your children because you know they dont like it

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i dedicate this bad boy to my shitass parents

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