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freya-rose-ramsey · 8 months

Note

Hi,

I’ve never made a request before, sorry if I’m doing it wrong. Can you write a short about Sebastian from SDV insisting on walking you home from the saloon and then you inviting him inside for..things? By that I mean it can either be fluff or more, I just welcome more content in general! Thank you so much!!

Hi! I'm so sorry it took so long to answer. Work got really crazy all of a sudden and I haven't had a lot of time to write.

I may have gotten a bit carried away with this request lol. I hope you like it!

Warnings: a bit of angst if you squint, a dash of spice at the end (although nothing happens)

Fandom: Stardew Valley

Character: Sebastian

Breathlessness

Fall was finally over. The growing season was done and the first snow of the winter had started to set in.

With the new layer of ice and snow covering the farm came a chance for you to finally take a breath and relax.

Until now, you had been so caught up in tending to the crops and preparing for winter that you hadn't stopped to really relax. You had practically isolated yourself from the rest of the town. You didn't even have time to hang out with your friends, much to your own disappointment.

Your absence was especially noticed on friday nights when you would typically be at the Stardrop Saloon hanging around the pool table with your friends Abigail, Sam, and Sebastian.

They tried to have fun in spite of your absence, they really did. But, how could they when there friend wasn't there to enjoy the night with them?

And the quiet gloom that had fallen over the group was only made worse by the clearly sour mood that had come over Sebastian.

He tried to pretend he was fine, but Sam and Abigail both knew that was a lie.

Ever since you moved to Stardew Valley over a year ago, you had practically latched on to the trio. Sebastian, of course, took a bit longer to warm up to you. But, once he did, the two of you became practically attached at the hip. The two of you did everything together. It didn't matter if he was wandering along the lake on a rainy day or in his room working on his compiter, you were almost always right beside him. Now, without you around, he felt as if a piece of him was missing.

So, when you came trudging through the doors of the saloon out of the snow, Sebastian felt like his world had somehow clicked back into place. He swore that you had never looked more beautiful than you did in that moment.

You had bundled up against the cold and wind in a heavy coat, a knitted hat ( which was definitely a gift from Emily judging by the bright, multicolored pattern of it), and a pair of work boots which were caked in snow.

You shook the snow off of your boots as you entered and, as soon as the doors closed behind you, pulled off your coat and hat. You hung them on the coat rack by the door and wandered your way over to the pool table, saying hello to the other patrons as you went.

Just getting to see your smile again made Sebastian's heart feel a bit lighter.

As you drew closer, he spotted the flush that had come over your cheeks and face during the long trek from the farm to the saloon. He also spotted the way you were rubbing your hands together in an attempt to bring some warmth back to your work calused hands.

Sebastian, of course, was too busy gawking at you to see the confused looks Abigail and Sam were giving him. Apparently it was his turn but he was too busy staring to hear whatever snarky comment Sam had made.

Wondering what had their friend so slack-jawed, they followed his gaze.

Abigail was the first to react. She jumped up from her spot on the couch, calling out your name, and nearly knocked you over with the force of the hug she gave you.

Sam wasn't far behind her. He tossed his pool stick onto the table and went striding over to you with that familiar big, goofy grin plastered on his face. He said something to you ( Sebastian couldn't quite hear what he said, but it was probably something ridiculous from the way you laughed at him.) then pulled you in for a bear hug.

The two of them slung their arms over your shoulders and guided you towards their little meeting area, all three of you grinning like idiots.

When you made it to the entry, you broke away from them and moved around the table towards Sebastian. The poor boy was sure the whole saloon could hear his heart beat getting louder as you got closer.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, there you stood right in front of him.

Sebastian took this moment to study every detail of your face. His gaze moving from each little feature to the next.

He was in the process of counting the snowflakes that had begun to melt on your lashes when you finally spoke, breaking him out of whatever trance he had managed to place himself into.

"Hey, Seb. Long time, no see." The dopey grin on your face and that bright look in your eyes was all it took to make him melt right then and there.

Sebastian pulled you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

"I missed you so much." He mumbled against your hair.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

After your big entrance, Sam and Sebastian completely abandoned their game of pool. Instead, the trio crowded around you on the couches and did their best to catch you up on what all they had done during the fall.

Abigail told you all about the new video game she had picked up during your absence. She was clearly loving the game if her waving hands and the spark in her eyes were any indicator of her excitement.

Sam, of course, updated you on the band and how they had been doing. He even showed you a few of the songs they had written over the fall.

During all of this, Sebastian simply watched you, his elbow leaned against the back of the couch and his head propped up on his hand. Seb couldn't help the faint smile that pulled at his lips as he watched you talking and laughing with your friends.

Sebastian didn't see you often during the fall. However, when he did see you, you always had this intense focus in your eyes. It was clear that, even in those moments away from the farm, that your work was all that you could think about. It was so good to see you finally free of that burden, even if it was only for the winter.

It was at this moment, that Sebastian realized the three of you were looking right at him. Sam and Abigail had that stupid, all-knowing grin on there faces they always got whenever they caught him doing something stupid. Meanwhile, you looked like you were waiting for a response to something.

"Sorry, what was that?" Sebastian asked, lifting his head from his hand, having to physically shake the cobwebs from his brain for a moment.

"I asked if you had done anything over the fall." You couldnt help but giggle a bit as you repeated yourself.

"Oh.. um..." Seb fumbled for a moment, "Honestly, I haven't really done anything worth talking about." He scratched at the back of his neck, not quite meeting your gaze as he said it.

"Yeah, Seb was a bit too busy brooding to really do anythi- Ow!" Sam's comment was swiftly cut off with a punch to the arm from Abigail who was clearly biting back a shit-eating grin.

"Why? Did something happen?" As you turned your attention back to Sebastian, you immediately noticed the red flush that had come over his ears and cheeks.

"No, nothing happened. I just... I just missed you." Sebastian mumbled the last part, again, not quite meeting your eyes as he spoke.

Your gaze softened a bit and that big, dopey grin was back on your face.

"I missed you too, you dork." You chuckled as you leaned over and wrapped your arms around his torso, your face buried in his chest.

Sebastian was so thankful you couldn't see his face in that moment. Abbey and Sam, however, could absolutely see his face and were trying there hardest not to laugh at just how red he had gotten.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The four of you talked the whole evening. You probably would have stayed all night if Gus didn't tell you all it was closing time.

As you all stood at the door of the saloon and said your goodbyes, Sebastian couldn't help but feel a slight tightening in his chest.

"Hey, y/n. Do you mind if I walk you home?" The words left his mouth before his brain could even process the thought. Seb wanted to shove the words right back down as soon as he said them.

"Oh. I - yeah! I'd like that. Thank you."

"Okay. Cool!" Sebastian wanted to smack himself in the face. 'Cool? Really Seb?'

"Alright." The soft smile you gave him made his heart feel like it was about to come right out of his chest.

"Well, be careful you two." Abigail interjected. "Wouldn't want you guys to get caught in the snow."

Sam looked like he was about to make a smart-ass comment of some kind but thought better of it with a sturn look from Abbey.

"See you guys later." Sam gave you a big hug and gave Seb a pat on the back with a knowing grin.

With that final goodbye, the four of you stepped out of the warmth of the saloon and into the snow covered night.

While Sam and Abigail returned to their homes, you and Sebastian made your way along the cobblestone path leading out to the farm.

Despite the layers of clothing covering you, the cold still managed to bite through. Your body shook uncontrollably from the cold.

Sebastian, without a second thought, put his arm around you and pulled you against his side as you walked.

"Is this okay?" His heart was practically in his throat as the words left him.

"Yeah. This really helps, actually." Your response was so soft Sebastian could barely hear you over the wind.

His gentle grip on you tightened ever so slightly and began rubbing your arm a bit to generate a bit more warmth.

The silence that enveloped the two of you as you walked was a comfortable one. That was one of the things you always loved about spending time with Sebastian. On more than one occasion, you have trudged your way into Sebastian's room after a long day of work and plopped down on his couch without a word. And, of course, he'd just let you. Because, although he never says it outright, Sebastian wouldn't trade that time with you for the world.

When you finally came to the front door of your cozy little farmhouse, the frost had settled into your bones and wouldn't go away no matter how closely you clung to Sebastian.

"Why don't you come inside and warm up before you head back home. You must be freezing!" As you proposed the idea, you looked up and saw the snow clinging to Seb's hair and eyelashes and how pink his nose and cheeks were.

"Yes, please. If you don't mind."

You gave no response. Just a soft smile as you took him by the hand and led him into the warmth of your home.

Once the two of you had shed your coats and boots, you quietly guided him towards the big red sofa by the fireplace and gestured for him to sit. As Sebastian made himself comfortable, you set to work getting a fire going.

Once that familiar warmth had flooded the living room, you went to the kitchen and began boiling water. You pulled a pair of mugs and a jar with some kind of dried herbs in it out of the cabinet.

Once the tea was done brewing, you sat next to Sebastian and handed him one of the mugs.

As Sebastian stared down at the warm mug in his hands, he noticed that it was black with an intricate skull design painted on the side.

"I saw that mug at the Night Market and thought you might like it." You answered the question before he even had a chance to ask it.

There was a moment of comfortable silence that followed. It was only interrupted by the sound of Sebastian's voice.

"Thank you."

"For what?" You placed your mug on the coffee table as you turned to him.

"For... for being you, I guess." Sebastian looked up just in time to catch the beginnings of tears pooling in your eyes.

Before he could even ask what was wrong, you threw your arms around his neck and buried your face in his neck.

"You have no idea how much that means to me. Especially coming from you." You whispered into his neck, the feeling of your warm breath against his skin giving him goosebumps.

After a few moments like this, you finally began to pull away.

You opened your mouth to apologize, but your words were cut short by the sudden feeling of lips against yours. You only tensed for a moment before you melted into the feeling, your eyes fluttering shut.

It was only a few seconds before Sebastian began to withdraw from you. But he didn't get very far, as you grabbed his face and pulled him back in for more.

Your kiss was filled with a passion that felt like fire running beneath his skin.

Your fingers slid effortlessly into his hair, then your grip tightened and you gave gentle tug. The low growl that came up from deep within Seb surprised even him.

In response, his hands found your waist and pulled you into his lap, drawing a soft gasp from your lips. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue inbetween your parted lips, desperate to taste very part of you.

Sebastian's warm hands found their way under you sweater, appreciatively feeling every curve of your body.

The action sent a shudder down your spine.

You, begrudgingly, were the first to pull away. And, as you did, you gave a playful bite to Sebastian's lower lip and tugged it ever so slightly.

Seb couldn't help but try to chase your lips as you parted. He'd have gladly drowned in your kisses if you'd let him.

Your forehead leaned against his as you both caught your breath, your nose brushing lovingly against each other.

You finally opened your eyes and were met with Sebastian's vibrant green eyes gazing back at you with an intensity you rarely ever witnessed.

"What's that look for?"

"I don't ever want to forget this moment." He replied with a breathlessness that made your heart practically flutter out of your chest. "Not a single second of it."

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freya-rose-ramsey · 1 year

Note

Very good story. Anyone that likes 9-1-1 should read this story.

Hey - you had a fic that was in my to-read list I think, and you deleted it - ‘Anything Past The Horizon’? Do you still have a copy I can read? :(

i do yeah. it’s in my google docs. i pretty much rewrote it and posted it to ao3 with a role reversal but i can post the original here for ya. it’ll be under the cut, enjoy!

anything past the horizon | explicit | 5.1k

It’s so much easier to fall into it than Buck ever thought it would be.

Eddie’s in the kitchen grabbing himself a glass of water. The TV is on, but Buck’s not listening to it. His ears have tuned into the soft sounds of Eddie’s bare feet across tile, the way the glasses clink together in the cabinet when Eddie displaces one of them. He listens to Eddie walk over to the fridge and put ice in his glass, and he listens as he fills it. He’s got a smile on his face the whole time, but it doesn’t really register until Eddie’s back in the living room, smiling back at him.

“Missed you,” Buck says, and he doesn’t know why he says it. Just because it’s true, he guesses. He always misses Eddie.

Eddie sips at his water and he never stops smiling. Buck reaches out to take it from him, and he takes a drink of it himself. “I was only gone for maybe two minutes,” Eddie teases, and Buck puts the glass of water down on the table. He reaches out for Eddie, still unsure of why — it just feels natural.

His fingers find themselves wrapped around Eddie’s wrist, and they’re both still smiling as Buck pulls him closer.

Eddie almost falls straight on top of him, and it’s a little awkward, but neither of them mind too much. Eddie catches himself with a knee on the outside of Buck’s thigh, his hands on the back of the couch. Eddie’s breath is tickling Buck’s hair a little, and Buck rests his hands at Eddie’s waist, amazed to find him chuckling.

He’s real and alive and his muscles and bones are shifting and it’s happening right here under Buck’s hands, right here in front of his eyes.

Eddie readjusts himself so that his other knee is on the outside of Buck’s other thigh, and his hands are clasped behind Buck’s neck. He sits back a little, his ass planted against the tops of Buck’s legs, and he looks somewhere between amused and bewildered.

Buck has no idea what his own face is doing, but he knows that his cheeks ache, so it at least involves a smile. A big one, at that. He lets his hands wander a little, from Eddie’s waist to his hips, from his hips to the top of his thighs, and then back up again. He fits his fingers in the spaces between Eddie’s ribs, he feels them shift every time Eddie takes a breath, and he’s staring up into amber-golden eyes. The sun is shining in on them through the cracks in the blinds, and Eddie’s eyes look so beautiful like this, lit up by the sun, almost — almost glowing.

There aren’t words. If there are any, Buck can’t find them right now, so he doesn’t even try. He doesn’t think he needs to, anyway — this has always been inevitable for them. A matter of when, never if.

Eddie’s face is closer, now. Buck’s not sure when it happened, but he slides his hands inside of Eddie’s shirt, wraps his arms around Eddie’s middle to pull him closer. They’re chest-to-chest now, and Buck’s pretty sure he’s still beaming like an idiot. “You sure?” Eddie asks, his forehead pressed to Buck’s, his nose nudging at Buck’s cheek.

There’s nothing Buck can do but nod. Of course he’s sure. He’s always been sure. There’s no sense in fighting it anymore or pretending nothing’s happening. It’s been happening for years now.

Buck feels more than he sees Eddie smile, and then Eddie angles his head a little differently and that’s it. They’re kissing, just like that.

There’s no real heat behind it at all. It’s still the most erotic thing that’s ever happened to Buck. The pads of his fingers press into the small of Eddie’s back as he tilts his face up for a better angle, baring his neck and pulling Eddie impossibly closer.

When Buck allowed himself to picture his inevitable first kiss with Eddie, it had never been like this. He always imagined sparks flying, lightbulbs bursting, fireworks. Every cliche in the book, he’s imagined it.

It’s not like that at all. It feels like he’s kissed Eddie every day of the last decade, but never gotten tired of it. It feels like this is where he’s meant to be, where he was always going to wind up. He’s happier than he can ever remember being, just because everything finally feels right in the world. The only missing piece of the puzzle has been found, and they’re working together to slide it into place.

Buck can feel the sun on the back of his neck, swimming in through the windows and dancing across his skin. The hairs on the back of his neck are standing up where Eddie’s fingertips rest, drawing indistinguishable patterns as he smiles and breathes into the kiss.

There’s an ache between Buck’s thighs that he’s more than aware of, but it feels more like an afterthought. It’s his body’s natural response to being this close to Eddie. They’ve been close, sure, but never like this. Never with Eddie’s hands cupping the sides of Buck’s neck, guiding Buck through the kiss by applying pressure to either side of his neck, depending on where he needs Buck to move.

Buck’s hard, and if the way Eddie’s hips are twitching forward every few seconds is any indication, he is, too. He lets his hands wander again, lets them come to rest at the waist of Eddie’s jeans, dipping his fingers below it, teasing. He rolls his own hips upward in time with Eddie’s rocking, and it’s not long before they’ve found a rhythm.

The first sound that Buck hears out of Eddie makes him feel like somebody’s just lit a fire in the pit of his stomach. It’s just a low sound of relief, really. It’s the same noise that Eddie makes when he sinks down into the couch after a long shift at the station, but in a wholly different context, and it lights Buck up. He’s been swallowing down his own noises, maybe scared in some way that he’d scare Eddie off with them, but — he finally lets go.

Buck relaxes a little more into the couch and sighs into Eddie’s mouth while his hands find their way to the front of Eddie’s jeans. He starts working at the button, no idea what he’ll do once he gets it undone, but it — it just feels like the thing to do. It’s what he wants.

Except, Eddie breaks the kiss then, and for the first time since all of this began, Buck gets to see how wrecked he looks by this. He can only imagine the way his own face looks as he stares up at Eddie, his hand frozen at the button on Eddie’s jeans. Eddie just stares at him for a minute, blinks a few times, rakes his eyes over Buck’s still-clothed form like he’s imagining what’s underneath.

Not that Eddie would have to do a lot of imagining, honestly — they’ve showered at the station together countless times.

Eddie stands up out of Buck’s lap and wordlessly offers him a hand. Buck takes it — of course he does. He’d follow anywhere Eddie decided to lead him.

Thankfully, it just seems to be down the hall to his bedroom.

Once inside, Buck realizes he’s never really been in here before. Once or twice, sure, of course. But this isn’t where they hang out. He’s only ever in here to grab something for Eddie, or maybe an extra blanket for himself when he stays over and crashes on the couch. But now he’s here, and he’s standing in front of Eddie, and neither of them are saying anything but it’s okay. It’s not an uncomfortable silence. It never is, not with them.

Eddie closes the door behind them and and turns back to Buck, and he only drops his hand to lift up the bottom hem of his t-shirt. “Okay?” Eddie asks, and he waits for Buck to nod again, surely looking dazed, before he slides his hands up Buck’s sides to pull his shirt off.

Buck lifts his arms in order to help him out, and he lets out a laugh when Eddie’s fingers brush against his armpits.

“Sorry,” Eddie says, but he’s laughing a little, too. “Forgot how ticklish you are.”

Buck’s pretty sure they both know that’s not true. Buck doesn’t think Eddie’s ever forgotten a single thing that he’s learned about him. Buck can’t help but pull him into another kiss, and this time, Eddie’s hands land on his chest. One of them rests directly over his heart, the other a little further up, curling around the place where his chest meets his shoulder.

Wordlessly, Eddie breaks the kiss and trails his lips down the side of Buck’s neck, down one shoulder. He presses sweet little kisses there for what feels like forever, until Buck finally stops being so amazed by the fact that this is happening and starts to take off Eddie’s shirt.

Buck’s heart beats harder with every new square inch of skin that’s revealed, and once Eddie’s shirt is completely off, Buck just stands there, clutching the fabric in his fist and trying to breathe.

He can’t believe that this is happening. He’s loved Eddie so long, and now that he’s allowed to show it outwardly, it’s like he can’t figure out how. There’s so much he needs to say, so many things he needs to do, so many places on Eddie’s body to leave his mark, to claim — but it all gets jumbled in his head and his thoughts come to a screeching halt. All he can do is touch the expanses of skin he’s been allowed to see, but never lay a hand on.

Buck presses in close again, wraps his arms all the way around Eddie, and kisses him again. It’s hard to think past the fact that his bare chest is against Eddie’s, that they’re finally here. Buck moans a little desperately as he gets his hands between their bodies and back on Eddie’s jeans, prying at the button.

Eddie’s hands rest on top of his own again, and he breaks the kiss. A little winded, he says, “Slow down, sweetheart. We got all night.”

So, Buck slows down. But Eddie didn’t say to stop. So he sinks to his knees — for better visibility, really, or at least that’s what he’ll tell himself. He really can see what he’s doing a little better from down here, and he takes his time unfastening the button of Eddie’s jeans, unzipping them.

Above him, Eddie’s chest is heaving as he stares down at Buck with more adoration than he’s ever seen from anybody in his entire life. Buck hooks his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s jeans and pulls them down, pressing his lips to skin as soon as it’s exposed. He kisses along the tops of Eddie’s thighs, over his boxers, his hip. He hooks his fingers into the elastic and opens his mouth to ask, is this okay? but Eddie beats him to it.

“Go ahead,” he breathes. Buck pulls them off gently, and as cliche as it is, his mouth waters once Eddie’s fully exposed. There’s a little bit of wetness pearling right at the head, and Buck can’t help it — he leans forward and wraps his lips around Eddie’s cock, flicking his tongue out to taste.

Eddie’s fingers tangle in his hair, and — Buck was really only aiming for a little taste, but… a little more won’t hurt. He sinks down further onto Eddie’s cock, letting it press against the back of his throat, and he holds him there, staring up through eyes that are starting to water at the only man — the only person he’s ever loved this fiercely. His blinks are heavy and slow, and a tear slips out of the corner of his eye. Before it can roll down his cheek, Eddie’s wiping it away and slowly pulling out of Buck’s mouth.

“It’ll be over before it starts if you keep that up,” Eddie breathes, and he helps Buck back to his feet before he crowds him toward the bed. Buck goes — of course he does. He falls back onto the mattress pretty gracelessly, but it’s forgotten the instant Eddie hovers over him to untie the drawstring of his sweats and pull them down over his hips. Next to go are the boxers, tossed aside carelessly as Eddie rakes hungry eyes over Buck’s entire body.

He doesn’t say anything else, though, he just settles himself between Buck’s spread thighs and rolls his hips.

Buck used to get embarrassed by how wet he gets when he’s this turned on, but right now — he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care at all, because it helps with the friction, helps Eddie slide against him, and Eddie sliding against him is the reason he’s making those precious noises. Buck never figured that Eddie would be this vocal, but he loves it. He pulls Eddie’s face back down to press their lips together, and he whimpers every time the head of Eddie’s dick catches on his own.

“Need you,” Buck whispers into his mouth, “Please, Eddie. Please.”

“You have me,” Eddie tells him. “You’ve always had me, baby. You always will.”

Buck whines, high and reedy from the back of his throat. What a concept, huh?

Still, Eddie takes pity on him. He leans over to root around in the drawer of his bedside table, coming back with a bottle of lube. “I have — uh, condoms, too. If you want,” he offers. “I’m clean, and I know you are, too, but — just — if you don’t want to deal with the mess, or whatever. It’s up to you.”

“I want the mess,” Buck tells him, and he wraps a hand around himself for a little relief. “I want it, Eds, I wanna feel you.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Eddie soothes, and he closes the drawer and drops the bottle next to Buck’s thigh. “That’s good,” he tells him, spreading Buck’s legs a little wider, “just like that, keep touching yourself.”

Buck thinks he might honestly pass out. “Have you — ah — done this before?” he asks, motioning to where Eddie’s between his legs, slicking up his fingers. Three, from what Buck can tell.

“To myself,” Eddie answers. “Never to anyone else, though, so you’ll just have to tell me what feels good, okay?”

The thought of Eddie, right here on this bed, fingering himself, has got to be one of the hottest images Buck’s mind has ever supplied him with. He tries to push it from his brain so he can at least make an attempt to communicate effectively, but he just ends up nodding his head. “Yeah, yes. Okay,” he breathes. “Sure.”

Buck keeps his fist loose around his own cock as Eddie presses a finger inside, slowly, yes, but — he never stops. He presses inside until he’s up to the last knuckle, and then he stays there. “Relax,” he breathes, and Buck tries, okay — he really tries. But he wants to get this right.

He must relax at least a fraction, because he’s rewarded with a nip at the inside of his thigh, which makes his cock jump in his grip. Eddie slides his finger out and back in, prodding around, and Buck knows exactly what he’s looking for. He’s never done this with someone else either, so he’s never been able to reach it himself, but maybe Eddie could — he’s got longer fingers and a better angle, so —

“Eddie!” Buck cries, grinding his hips downward and throwing his head back. “Oh shit, baby, you — can you do that again?” he whimpers.

“Of course,” Eddie breathes, and he kisses along the crease of Buck’s groin, landing at his hip, and Buck just lets him. Eddie could do anything to him right now, and Buck would be ecstatic.

The glorious thing about it is that Eddie does do it again. And again, and again, and again. And soon, Buck is all but riding his finger, his back arched off of the bed. “More,” he breathes. “More, Eddie, can I have more?”

Instead of an answer, Buck feels a slight stretch, and then Eddie has two fingers fully inside of him, and Buck’s afraid he might actually catch on fire. “Hold still,” Eddie whispers, and he adjusts his position so that his face is closer to Buck’s again, and he can kiss him. “Slow down, sweetheart. I’m right here. It’s not a race. I’ll take care of you, Evan, you just have to let me.”

Buck takes a deep breath, then. “Sorry,” he croaks, and he nods his head. “Sorry, yeah. You’re — you’re right.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Eddie tells him, soft and sweet and low. “Just let me. I’ve got you.”

“I know you do,” Buck tells him, and his eyes are welling up a little. He just feels so loved, he’s not sure what to do with it. It’s never been like this, not with anyone. Not Taylor, sure as hell not Abby, and — he’s just a little overwhelmed, is all.

It’s amazing to Buck how in-tune Eddie is to his emotions. Even though there are tears in his eyes, Eddie can somehow tell that it’s not a bad thing. He never stops moving his fingers, twisting them, hitting Buck at all the right angles, but he still checks in. “Y’alright?” he asks, pressing kisses all over Buck’s face.

“Just happy,” Buck nods, and he smiles, even through the tears. Eddie chooses that moment to slip a third finger inside, and Buck’s breath hitches. “R-really happy, Eds, shit.”

Eddie chuckles, and it comes from deep inside his chest as he crooks his fingers and spreads them a little at a time to get Buck nice and ready for him. “That means I’m doing my job right,” he whispers, and his lips press against Buck’s again, but softer this time. They’re both smiling into it, and Buck feels a little hysterical, but he’s as happy as he’s ever felt.

“I think — I think I’m ready,” Buck whispers, rolling his hips languidly, holding Eddie’s face in his hands.

“Are your legs okay?” Eddie asks, and he slips his fingers out so that Buck can relax a little. In truth, he is already a little sore. He hasn’t done yoga since he was recovering from the ladder truck, so he’s not as flexible as he once was.

Buck shrugs. “I want to see you, so — so it’s okay,”

Eddie grabs the lube again, but he lays down on his back next to Buck. “Would you want to—?” he asks, and his breathing picks up a little as he strokes himself, spreading the wetness to make the glide easier for Buck.

Would he—? Is that even a question? Fuck yes.

“Yeah,” Buck nods, and he swings a leg over Eddie’s hips until he’s in his lap, and then he leans down for a kiss. Eddie told him to slow down — well, he can do that. He can be patient.

Buck tangles his fingers in Eddie’s hair, kissing him slowly as he rolls his hips backward, a promise of what’s to come.

Eddie takes himself in hand and lines himself up, then, but just holds himself there. He doesn’t thrust or move his hips at all, really, he just waits for Buck to make the next move. “You sure?” he asks. “We don’t have to do this, Buck. We can wait. However long you need.”

“I’ve waited years, Eddie. I want this. I want you.”

Eddie just nods, then, and he tilts his head so that his lips are against Buck’s when he speaks. “Me too,” he nods. “Whenever you’re ready. Just take it slow, okay? Don’t hurt yourself.”

Buck presses their mouths together again and gives a slow roll of his hips, and the head of Eddie’s cock slides inside of him. He feels stretched and so full already, and he has no idea how he’s going to take all of Eddie, but he knows he’ll manage. He’s been more determined about things he wanted less than he wants this. He can do it.

Eddie gasps when it happens, and Buck takes it as an opportunity to lick into his mouth, and it makes both of them moan. Buck sinks a little lower, then, and his brows furrow as he concentrates. He goes as slow as he possibly can, trailing wet kisses along Eddie’s jaw as he whimpers, but it’s not pain. It’s the furthest thing from it, Buck thinks.

Then, as soon as he’s sure he can’t take any more, his ass is flush against the top of Eddie’s thighs, and Buck feels whole.

He sits up a little for more leverage, and Eddie slips deeper, somehow. “Jesus,” Buck whispers, and he rolls his hips. Eddie’s cock slides right against his prostate, and Buck’s eyes flutter closed as he starts a steady rise and fall. It’s not fast, but there’s a rhythm to it.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Eddie breathes from below him, and Buck smiles, open-mouthed and wide. He braces his hands on Eddie’s chest as he lifts his hips up so only the head of Eddie’s dick is still inside him, and he slowly lowers himself back down.

Eddie’s hands are holding on to Buck’s hips, not guiding him, just along for the ride. “You’re not so bad yourself,” Buck teases, and he wraps a hand around himself to start stroking, but he quickly realizes he’s not going to last if he does that. “You feel so good, Eds. So good, fuck.”

“C’mere,” Eddie whispers, and he wraps his arms around Buck’s back. “C’mere, Buck, please. Lemme see you, baby,” he breathes, pulling Buck down until they’re face-to-face again. “There you are,” he breathes, and he gives a long, slow thrust upward.

Buck lets out a choked-off noise that he’s never heard another human make, let alone himself. “Again,” he whispers. “Do that again, Eddie.”

“Love it when you say my name like that,” Eddie whispers, connecting his lips to the underside of Buck’s jaw. Eddie pulls out and pushes back in just as slowly, brushing up against that spot inside of Buck that makes him feel white-hot and electric. “Love — love being inside of you, baby. You feel good, too, you know that? You’re so good for me, sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” Buck nods, hiding his face in Eddie’s neck. He can feel his eyes starting to well up with tears again, and he grinds down every time Eddie thrusts upward. Buck’s never had a first time with anyone that was as effortless as this is. They’re in it together, they can read each other like they’ve never been able to read anyone else. Buck can read Eddie better than he can read himself sometimes. “Thank you, Eddie, fuck,” he breathes. His voice cracks when he speaks, and he’s sure that by now, Eddie can feel the wetness of his tears against his neck. If not, he can surely hear Buck’s occasional sniffles.

“It’s okay,” Eddie soothes him, running a hand up and down his back as he holds Buck’s body close, rocking into him steadily, unwavering. Buck should’ve known that Eddie would be his rock for this — just like everything else. Eddie’s the one and only thing tethering him to this plane of reality. “I have you, honey. You’re right here, I’ve gotcha.”

“I know,” Buck nods, and he presses kisses to Eddie’s neck and tastes the salt-tang of his own tears. He’s still letting out choked-off moans every time Eddie is fully inside of him, brushing against his prostate. His voice cracks through his tears, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind much. His cock is trapped between their stomachs, and there’s friction every time Eddie thrusts, and Buck’s not sure he’s going to last that much longer.

“I’m close,” Eddie lets him know. “Is that okay? Do you want me to slow down? Make it last?” he asks, and he stays fully seated inside of Buck as he waits for an answer.

“No,” Buck shakes his head “I mean — we can do this again, right? I want — I want you to feel good, Eds. Want it to be so good for you.”

“We’ll do it again,” Eddie promises, and he starts moving a little faster. “We’ll do it as much as we can, whenever you want, okay? You’ve got me, now. I’m not goin’ anywhere. This isn’t the last time,” he reassures, and — if it were anyone else, Buck would probably call it overkill, but he needs to hear it right now. He needs to hear it from Eddie. He needs to know this isn’t just for right now. It has to be forever. “It’s so good for me, Buck. You’re so good for me.”

Buck nods his head, and he finally extracts his face from the crook of Eddie’s neck to look him in the eye. “Whenever you’re ready,” he whispers, and he connects their mouths.

Eddie speeds up just a little more, working more of those pathetic little whines out of Buck, but he drinks them right up. And Buck — he just — he loves Eddie so much, he doesn’t know what to do with it. He doesn’t know if Eddie wants to hear it, but he’s pretty sure Eddie’s fucked the filter right out of him. He has to say it.

“I love you,” Buck whispers, and he doesn’t even know if Eddie’s heard him at first, but he must have. He must have, because Eddie’s arms wrap tighter around him and the thrusts one, two, three more times before he stays there, and Buck can feel him come.

He didn’t know that was possible, but it is. He feels Eddie twitching inside of him, feels his cock jerk as he empties himself inside of Buck, gasping as he tries to kiss him some more, tries desperately to keep their mouths connected.

“Say it again,” Eddie breathes, and he hasn’t quite gone soft, so Buck uses that to his advantage. He rolls his hips so that Eddie’s cock is always rubbing against his prostate, whimpering all the while. “One more time, baby. Say it again for me.”

“I love you, Eds. Love you so much, so — so happy that you’re here, that you have me—” Buck whines, and — honestly, he knows it’s possible to come untouched, and he’s never been able to make himself do it, but — it seems like a real possibility, right now.

“I do have you,” Eddie tells him, holding Buck’s face and making him look him in the eyes. “And I love you, too.”

There it is. Just like that, Buck’s cock jerks and he shakes apart right there in Eddie’s arms, coming between their bodies and making a mess of them. Eddie holds him through it, holds him tighter through the aftershocks, and Buck’s pretty sure that Eddie’s arms around him are the only reason he’s not physically floating away.

Buck’s ears are ringing. He’s never come that hard in his life. “It’s okay,” he hears Eddie saying, faintly, somewhere in the back of his mind. “It’s alright. I have you, I love you. I love you so much,” he’s saying, and Buck isn’t sobbing, okay, but — there are more tears. They’re sliding out of his eyes and onto Eddie’s chest where his head is resting, and one of Eddie’s hands is in his hair while the other strokes his spine.

“Sorry,” Buck croaks, as soon as he comes around.

Eddie shushes him in an instant, quieting all of his fears. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he says. “And even if you did, I’d forgive you, okay?”

Buck just nods his head and does his best to dry up his tears. After a couple of minutes, he’s pretty sure he’s okay enough to lift his head and look at Eddie. “Y’love me?” he asks, a little nasally — his nose is stuffy, now. He’s always hated that about crying.

“Of course,” Eddie says. “For so long. I’m so happy, Buck.”

“Me too,” Buck nods, and he cracks a smile for all his tears. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, smiling down at Eddie. He’s so in love he can barely stand it.

“Thank you,” Eddie starts, “for giving me that.”

Buck nods and rolls off of Eddie, to the side, propped up on his elbow. “Always,” Buck nods. “Any time you want. I’m just — I’m glad we’re here, you know? I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Eddie says. “So glad I’m here, sweetheart. I’m so glad I have you.”

Buck leans forward to slot their lips together again, and he smiles. “We probably need to shower soon,” he whispers. “You have to go get Chris in a couple of hours.”

It’s not even dark outside. The sun is setting, so there’s a faintly orange glow to everything, but it won’t be dark for hours yet. “You could come with me,” Eddie offers. “And then you could… stay?”

“Of course I’ll stay,” Buck nods. “I’ll always stay, Eddie.”

It’s Eddie’s eyes who well up this time, but he’s smiling as bright as Buck’s ever seen. “I know you will,” he breathes. “That’s how I know this is gonna work. I’ll always stay, too.”

Buck can’t help it — a kiss isn’t enough to convey what he feels right now. He leans forward and wraps his arms around Eddie, digging his face back into Eddie’s neck. He slides one leg between both of Eddie’s, mindless of the mess between them. He couldn’t care less if he tried. “I’m so happy,” he whispers. “I’m always so fucking happy when I’m with you, Eds. You — you just make everything better.”

“How long until your lease is up?” Eddie asks. “I know that it’s soon, so — so you can renew it if you want, y’know, like — that would be okay. I wouldn’t be hurt, but — I mean, we have to talk to Chris first, but I can’t imagine he’d have a problem with you living here. So — so if you wanted, you know, you could—”

“Yes,” Buck whispers. “Yeah. My lease is up in a few weeks. I’ll start packing.”

“I love you,” Eddie whispers. “I love you so, so much.”

“I love you, too. Now, get up. I’ll wash your hair in the shower for you.”

Eddie’s up and out of bed the moment Buck relinquishes his grip on him.

Buck knows that they have a long way to go. There’s a lot to talk about, too many things left unaddressed for far too long. But that can be for another day. Right now, all Buck knows or cares about is that he’s never been this excited for the rest of his life.

#buck x eddie #buck x eddie smut #buddie fic #buck x eddie fic #not my story

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freya-rose-ramsey · 1 year

Text

be the lightning in me (strike relentless)

co-writer: @princessfbi 6x12 coda - 1.3k - g - read on ao3

“You died, Buck. You’re gonna feel a lot of different ways about that. Sometimes all at the same time. I found the best way to process it is to… allow yourself to feel it.”

“How do you feel about that?” The question’s been burning at the tip of Buck’s tongue since he first woke up, since he came out of the coma. Since he first saw the darkness hiding beneath Eddie’s relieved smile– lingering in his features, clinging to the shadows beneath his eyes and the stubble across his jaw.

Ever since, the question’s been swimming in his mind, itching at his skin, begging to be asked. To be answered.

Eddie sighs, suddenly very much occupied with trimming the crusts off of Christopher’s sandwich. “Buck–”

“No, I– I’m serious,” Buck presses. He has to know. He can’t bear it any longer. “E-Everyone keeps asking me how I feel. But who’s asking you?”

Eddie sets the knife down on the counter with a small huff. He walks over to the fridge, completely dodging the question. “You think Chris would rather have blueberries or grapes?”

“Grapes,” Buck doesn’t miss a beat. “Eddie.” Buck pushes because Eddie is the one person who pushes back and Buck doesn’t know why Eddie won’t even look at him.

“Don’t ask me that, Buck.”

It isn’t a request.

Buck’s breath hitches, trapped somewhere in the back of his throat because it isn’t a request. It isn’t a command. It isn’t anything more than a raw, unfiltered plea from somewhere deep in Eddie’s chest.

Buck doesn’t move. Moving feels dangerous. Like he’s waiting for lightning to strike again, but instead of him, it’s Eddie up on that ladder.

But he needs Eddie to push back. How else is Buck supposed to remember that any of this is real?

“Why not?” He asks, just as raw. Just as much of a plea. Maybe even a little more desperate.

There’s something unreadable in Eddie’s expression. His voice is quiet when he speaks, rough in a way it only ever gets when thick with emotion. “Because I don’t want to lie to you.”

“Then don’t.” He swallows around the dryness that’s suddenly appeared in his throat. “I died.” Saying it out loud, saying it seriously , for the first time makes his heart slam into his ribcage.

“Yeah.” Eddie draws in a long, shaky breath, He scrubs his hand over his face, his chest rising and falling slowly. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. A moment Buck clings to because he’s starting to understand just how much can be missed in a moment. Eddie braces himself against the countertop, fists clenching so tight his knuckles turn white. “It felt like a part of me died, too.”

The push. Buck feels it as the words nudge against his chest and find their way in between his ribs. The words are frank, strong. But they feel like they could shatter any second anyway.

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Buck holds his breath. “Pretend I don’t.”

“Because when your heart stopped so did mine.” Eddie says, brave and heartbroken all at once. His gaze cuts to Buck and it’s like being struck by lightning all over again. “I love you.”

Eddie’s never said that before. Not without man or dude tacked onto the end of it. And never with such a softness to it. Never with the words dripping with reverence. Never like this. It sends Buck into a tailspin, his chest squeezing and his heart pounding as he replays the three words over in his mind. His pulse hammers in his ears.

“Eddie,” he breathes.

Eddie’s chin trembles before he bites his cheek and looks away. “You were just hanging there and I– I couldn’t pull you up.” His voice breaks.

“I’m sorry.” The shaky edge to Buck’s voice wasn’t there a minute ago.

The sound Eddie barks out is harsh and catches in his nose as he shakes his head. “You don’t—”

He stops himself with a hand to his mouth, pushing away the bite of his words. Eddie curls his arms around himself like he’s trying to hold himself from splitting in two and it makes something in Buck ache.

“You don’t have to apologize for being struck by lightning, Buck,” Eddie says, softer, gentler but just as certain. There’s forgiveness in his eyes all the same.

Buck rises from his barstool, walking around the island until he’s closed the distance between them. He reaches for Eddie’s hands, taking them in his own as he meets Eddie’s eyes. “And you don’t have to blame yourself for what happened to me.”

Eddie’s gaze drops and Buck knows what Eddie’s instincts were telling him. He knows because his own are screaming at him to do the same, begging himself to stop exposing the throbbing live wire of a nerve they’d bandaged and pretended wasn’t hurting.

Eddie barely gets the space to swerve before Buck is grabbing onto the first thing he can reach. Eddie’s hips are warm and soft beneath the harsh fabric of his jeans, giving to the slight pressure of Buck’s fingertips as he holds on.

Eddie swallows, trying to back away, but Buck follows because if he doesn’t, he doesn’t think he would be able to find this moment again. The counter keeps them pinned and Buck dips down to catch Eddie’s eyes again.

“Eddie,” he breathes. He’s too close. Close enough that he can count the number of endless lashes framing those hazel eyes. Close enough he can see the heartache swimming behind them. The hope, too. “I’m right here.”

Eddie’s mouth trembles. “But you weren’t.”

“I know,” Buck says. He has the sore chest and the bruises and the lightning branded into his skin to prove it.

“Three minutes, Buck,” Eddie says, his words wet and thick with emotion fighting to break free from his resolve. “For three minutes you weren’t here. And I-I-I can’t…”

“I love you,” Buck says. Pushes because maybe that’s what they both need. Eddie’s eyes flutter closed as he exhales and Buck pushes again. “I love you, too.” The words roll off his tongue effortlessly, like they’ve been waiting a lifetime for the chance. Maybe they have been.

Eddie’s face twitches before he opens his eyes again. Strong, shaky fingers tangle in his t-shirt, holding him there like Eddie doesn’t want Buck to float away.

Not even a hurricane could’ve made Buck move then.

Eddie’s eyes shine as his fingers brush against Buck’s cheek. He touches him like he’s special, not like he’s fragile. Like he’s something precious.

Buck presses his forehead against Eddie’s and a small breath from Eddie ghosts across Buck’s lips. The moment stretches between them like infinity and Buck breathes through the tension of it.

“Please,” Buck manages, the word hanging between them in the space between their lips.

Eddie kisses him and everything settles. The uncertainty snapping like static at the base of his spine softens and the low hum that’s been buzzing beneath Buck’s skin goes quiet.

His blood sings as he melts into Eddie’s touch.

A low sigh escapes his lips as Eddie pulls away too soon and Buck can’t help but chase after him.

“I love you,” Buck murmurs. He doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of saying it, doesn’t think he’ll ever lose sight of the wonder that comes from being in love with Eddie and from being loved by Eddie in return.

Eddie kisses him again and Buck’s breath hitches, warmth exploding behind his chest. He makes a tiny, contented noise in the back of his throat. He’s never felt more alive.

Buck was dead, but Eddie brought him back. In more ways than one.

Eddie breathes life into him in a way he hadn’t realized he so desperately needed, clinging to the inside of his lungs and permeating his soul on the deepest level. They’re two halves of one whole.

Eddie brings their joined hands to his lips and lets his lips ghost across Buck’s knuckles. And with that, the last of the ache in Buck’s chest ebbs away like the tide beneath a full moon, his heart called home to Eddie’s like waves to the sea.

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