fried-marshmelon

[fried-marshmelon]

Big news from Tartarus I'm just so proud of him

[fried-marshmelon]

i bet an oil change would feel so good if you’re a car

[fried-marshmelon]

biggest L i've had to take from morning people is that the hours between 5 - 9 am really do have 7x as much time in them than the ones between 9 pm - 1 am and you can get your whole day's worth of shit done by noon

[fried-marshmelon]

observing popcorn

[fried-marshmelon]

yes, thanks for checking in

[fried-marshmelon]

[fried-marshmelon]

being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok

[fried-marshmelon]

Ah these children who always create problems for poor mothers....

[fried-marshmelon]

"But doesn't suffering make you a better person?"

[fried-marshmelon]

You have 14 to 28 days 🫵🏻

[fried-marshmelon]

betty boop pin pngs

[fried-marshmelon]

the subtle and delicate cuteness of the chickpea

[fried-marshmelon]

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

[fried-marshmelon]

i cant quit tumblr because i get good life advice from other maladjusted adults on here

[fried-marshmelon]

Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.

[fried-marshmelon]

[fried-marshmelon]