Chapter 57: About alternatives to control
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I can’t believe that everything will work out even if I do nothing.
[ ] I find it hard to let others handle their own problems.
[ ] I hate asking for help.
[ ] If someone offers help I…
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Chapter 56: About self-care
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I pay more attention to the needs of others than my own.
[ ] I often overcommit or overextend myself.
[ ] I find it difficult to say No to requests.
[ ] If I want something done right I have to do it…
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Chapter 55: About parenting
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I am a “helicopter” parent – anxious, hypervigilant, and/or overprotective.
[ ] I worry that my parenting is not good enough.
[ ] If my kids are unhappy, I’m unhappy.
[ ] If my kids are happy, I worry it will end.
[ ] I take my kids’ problems and…
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Chapter 54: About self-worth
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I often fear being judged or rejected.
[ ] I hate making mistakes.
[ ] When I make mistakes, I punish myself.
[ ] I worry a lot about what other people think or feel about…
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Chapter 53: About defenses
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I worry a lot.
[ ] I tend to expect the worst.
[ ] I spend a lot of time imagining how other people see me.
[ ] I often accept…
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Chapter 52: About addictions
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I have used alcohol to manage feelings.
[ ] I have used drugs to manage feelings.
[ ] I have used food to manage feelings.
[ ] I…
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Chapter 51: About feelings
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I live in my head.
[ ] “How do you feel?” sounds like a trick question to me.
[ ] I have trouble knowing what I feel.
[ ] I have trouble expressing what I…
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Chapter 50: About caretaking
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I am drawn to needy or unhappy people.
[ ] Needy or unhappy people are drawn to me.
[ ] I feel responsible for the happiness of others.
[ ] I tend to anticipate other people’s needs.
[ ] It bothers me that other…
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Chapter 49: About people-pleasing
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I pride myself on being a nice person.
[ ] I believe that I should always be nice.
[ ] I find it hard to reject another person no matter how much they may deserve it.
[ ] I probably go overboard in doing nice things for other people.
[ ] It’s much easier for me to acknowledge…
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Chapter 48: About relationships
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] Relationships are difficult for me.
[ ] I have trouble feeling safe or comfortable with other people.
[ ] I worry a lot about what others think of me.
[ ] I find it difficult to trust or confide in others.
[ ] I am more careful than spontaneous in relationships.
[ ] I am a people…
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Chapter 47: About family
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I grew up in an alcoholic family.
[ ] I grew up in a family with members who struggled with substance abuse or eating disorders.
[ ] I grew up in a family with members who struggled with mental illness.
[ ] I grew up in a family with members who struggled with chronic illness.
[ ] I…
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Chapter 46: About boundaries
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I tend to please others instead of myself.
[ ] I have trouble saying No to requests or demands.
[ ] I find it hard to not absorb other people’s feelings.
[ ] I feel controlled by other people’s anger.
[ ] I will…
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Chapter 45: About emotional problems
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I have struggled with anxiety.
[ ] I have struggled with depression.
[ ] I have struggled with substance abuse.
[ ] I tend to forget (or never learned) that anxiety, depression and addiction are all symptoms of emotional constipation — i.e., overcontrolled feelings.
[ ] I struggle with…
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Chapter 44: About internal controlling
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I am intolerant of my own mistakes, failures and weaknesses.
[ ] I often beat myself up.
[ ] I feel burdened by shoulds.
[ ] I have trouble forgiving…
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Chapter 43: About external controlling
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I avoid new or unfamiliar situations.
[ ] I avoid meeting new people.
[ ] I avoid the unpredictable.
[ ] Disorder and disorganization make me…
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Chapter 42: About controlling
(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
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[ ] I constantly compare the reality I have to the reality I want.
[ ] I am often unsatisfied or frustrated with things as they are.
[ ] I get anxious when things don’t go as expected.
[ ] I get angry when things don’t go my way.
[ ] When…
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Chapter 41: About control
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(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)
[ ] I usually see control as a solution, not a problem.
[ ] I overreact to situations I cannot control.
[ ] I often complain – aloud or to myself — about my current situation.
[ ] I often find…
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