frogs-n-bleach

[frogs-n-bleach]

i love stained glass windows here’s a tribute to it

I want stained glass windows,

In my future house.

I hope I wake up

to the smell of coffee

and clean clothes

and you on the couch

and I hope the colors filter through

that stained glass window

and cover you

in greens in blues in reds

and I can join you

and feel the sun on your skin

and look out my window.

[frogs-n-bleach]

guys it’s been so long I forgot how to write poetry

yea anyways just found out I have POTS and a hypermoble disorder so yippie

I am deteriorating

from the inside out

my bones are cracking

my muscles are withering

my vessels contort

and pool

my hands will turn pink

I need to watch closer.

I have to make sure

every joint is in place

every nerve is loose

Always watch closer.

[frogs-n-bleach]

Sitting here wishing I could rip my skin off at the seams.

I could unravel my soul

and watch my muscles fall to the ground

and only then will I stand to see myself

for all that is left of me.

and maybe,

in the ruin of my body

I could find

what’s worth saving,

and that is all I may do.

[frogs-n-bleach]

and each peice of my heart

has been passed down to me

gifted, or thrown.

I am my heart

and that is everyone who I have loved.

and it has made me cruel.

[frogs-n-bleach]

some abstract poetry about physical abuse

“run”

When you raise your hand,

I will flinch.

and I wish not to be in it’s path

when it makes its way back to earth.

I will slip between your fingers,

and hide in the crevices of this broken home.

[frogs-n-bleach]

I am prone to cavities and self distrusting.

[frogs-n-bleach]

Guys I honestly can’t tell if Tumblr has died and no one sees my content or if it’s just bad, probably the ladder tbh.

Rip Tumblr lived on in gay teens that are now adults everywhere ✊✊

[frogs-n-bleach]

I’ll try to fall asleep

without the sound of your breathing,

and i’ll set my alarm

to 20 minuites later

unlike ever other morning

because how am I to sleep

without knowing your right there?

[frogs-n-bleach]

I need to stop falling so hard

for people who I have only seen

through rose colored glasses.

[frogs-n-bleach]

“everything’s gone to shit”

I don’t want

to be fucking begging for you.

I just love you so much,

I can’t help myself

and I can feel sobs creeping up my throat

like vomit and tears.

I cannot make you love me,

but

god,

I really

selfishly wish

you choose me.

[frogs-n-bleach]

me: 🧍‍♀️

my brain : ….thunder cunt

[frogs-n-bleach]

Hey guys here’s some important info from a nursing student bc apparently the normal population has no common sense :

When you get a cut, generally if it’s 1/2 in or deeper it needs stitches, or if it does not stop bleeding after 12-24 hours.

Please, no matter what, CLEAN IT!!!! preferably with rubbing alcohol, as hydrogen peroxide will eliminate all bacteria (good and bad) while alcohol just cleans and kills bad bacteria, though it works in a pinch. We don’t want any infections.

if it’s a deep/bleeding cut (usually on hands or wrists, abdomen/chest or parts of the legs, feet or ankles) hold gause or a rag on it, and wrap it TIGHT. Hold the wound or elevate above the head to decrease blood flow. Hold until clotting begins (stops bleeding) and then apply NON STICK dressing. Sticky dressings will peel off scabs/new skin when you take it off. Change dressings at least 2x per day, when wet, and if doing better, sleep with no dressing. (let it dry out) CLEAN IT EVERY TIME YOU CHANGE DRESSINGS!!

Baby cuts or scapes can be cleaned, and get some Neosporin and a bandaid :)

Onto the next important topic: INFECTIONS!

infections are generally shown by redness around wound, swelling, pus, “gunk” in the wound, green and yellow coloring outside of normal healing, excessive stinging and soreness.

If that occurs, clean often, change dressing more frequently, keep very clean and covered most of the time (can take off when sleeping) if it doesn’t clear up, or spreads, or you develop a fever, it’s probably time to pay a visit to the ER.

Stay safe out there guys :)

(PS i am not a doctor im just a dude that’s first aid certified and a nursing student 😅)

[frogs-n-bleach]

I don’t know if i’ll ever be more than that fucked up kid.

no one of my life knows anymore

but it’s painted across my skin,

almost like the words are in bold,

spelling out every thing I have ever done wrong.

one glance under my sleeves,

and everyone seems to know

everything they need to know about me.

I can run

and run

but who I was

Is who I will always be

she watches my every move

just waiting for me to slip up,

so she can come right in

and devour me whole.

because somewhere,

I know,

I will never change.

[frogs-n-bleach]

And the sad truth is,

Eventually,

you will have the face the fact

that you are your mother’s daughter.

[frogs-n-bleach]

“deep in my chest”

My mother was raised

by a mother that did not love her.

she carried that in her chest

and passed that down to me.

so when we sit in the kitchen,

and she complains

about how her mother doesn’t listen

and how she’s never there

I think;

“I wonder what that’s like”.

I will never be good enough for you,

as you are not good enough for your mother,

and her mother before.

How many generations does trauma go through

before it becomes genetic?

[frogs-n-bleach]

here’s an edgy abstract poem about my chronic pain :P

“end-o”

My body

is consuming me

from the inside out.

I rot here

as the pain passes through.

I wish to sit and stand

as one should,

but my organs will not allow it.

I am tied together

sewn in the wrong seams

the tissue inside of me

curls

and webs

like a spider to prey.

I do not want to be stuck here

Why won’t they just cut the ropes?

let me run

let my legs carry all my weight

without pain.

Please,

can’t you do anything?

[frogs-n-bleach]

more poetry

“Cliché”

And it is so over used,

we have heard the words again and again

but I could write for days

about how a pomegranate is hard on the outside

and how I want you to rip it open.

dig your nails into its skin,

let it’s blood drip along your hands.

Rip me open, and devour me whole.

hold me gently and run your tongue along the edges,

let me endure all that I should,

and when you are done,

place what is left

in the kitchen counter

and leave me to rot.

for that is all I am worth.