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— Fyodor Dostoevsky (via lunamonchtuna)

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everyone is a squirter if you cut the correct artery

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Kai Cheng Thom, from "to a lost sister", Falling Back in Love with Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls

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Louise Glück, from “Otis”, Poems 1962 - 2012

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growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid

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People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

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i have this constant feeling of wanting to leave all the time, i don't know when, i don't know where, but i only know that i want to leave

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Nicole W. Lee, from "Even the Dust"

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Betrayal

I wanted to share this because recently the Universe has made an obvious effort to show me how to use it to my advantage.

In the middle of last year I started becoming aware of some highly intuitive abilities. Dreams, visions and gut feelings were revealing themselves to me almost to the point where I doubted my ability and just thought I was crazy. The things that were happening were just too uncanny though. Prompting me to fully believe that the Universe has an intentional design. It can’t necessarily be broken but it can be influenced by the mind of the individual.

There was a time when I stopped believing in the law of attraction because I felt like it was overused and it only worked for people who had natural environmental elements to work out in their favor. In truth, all you need is tapped in energy and belief in forces outside of yourself.

Last Fall, I was transitioning in my physical life but also in my spiritual life. I felt like I was losing my mind and having a psychotic break. I chose to turn to prayer. I asked God, “if a spiritual gift is what I have, show me how to use it”. Instantly I thought I could just bend reality to my will and make all things good happen to me but it’s unfortunately not that easy. There are steps to follow and you must be a master at “the long game”. Which means there is no instant gratification because that’s what our ego expects. Delayed gratification is the surprise that you can almost never time.

Today, I see myself truly reaching a peak. I have never looked at myself and my life the way I do today and that tells me a lot. Every time something unfavorable happens to me, I humbly ask “why?” I’m so anchored in the belief that everything happens for a reason so why did this happen to me?

I haven’t fallen for someone in 3 years so the feeling is so wonderful and rare. Someone lead me on so well only to ghost me after I showed them how much they meant to me. It was awful. I was hurt for months. I couldn’t understand why someone with such a pure heart could be betrayed like this. Then I had the dream that triggered some thoughts that I needed to go away. I asked God to release me from these thoughts and sure enough, days later I could visually confirm that they were with someone else. There was an apology given. One that I lingered on for months without fully understanding. Now that I finally get it, there was never an apology good enough for what he did. If he ever wanted to love me and spare himself from the wrath that will come from not necessarily me but the higher beings that have lead me thus far in life.. he should’ve tried to fix things. Instead, he betrayed someone who will watch the karma unfold beautifully.

This post is kinda all over the place but the main point here is that I’m anchoring and validating my spiritual gifts and the universe is showing me exactly how to uncover and use them.

I saw this post and laughed at first. This whole thread was very uncanny to me but I started pondering on this one. Etsy is full of crafters and artists who make handmade gifts to sell. I think there’s something special about getting someone something handmade and unique. And that’s what I did. It was a mirror. Months ago, I gifted this person a handcrafted mirror. Which in some beliefs is seen as a portal or overall something not to be disregarded. That’s when it hit me. Whatever happened to the gift, whether he threw it away, sold it or kept it. It’s the physical conduit linking my energy to his. Now that I’ve let go of my pain and suffering. All the torment I’ve subjected myself to, I can truly relax knowing that his karma is no longer up to me.

So the original post is brilliant to me. Because the day before I saw it, I asked God for revenge. No one has to die but again, it’s not up to me.

There is no revenge greater than knowing you can unfold the secrets of the universe by just playing the game. You cry, you suffer, you ask why. Then the universe shows you. You’re powerful, you were made in the divine image, you’re pure of heart and no weapon formed against you will prosper.

Maybe I’m absolutely delusional but shit is too uncanny. I just had to type this out.

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the past is the past. leave it there. leave it there. LEAVE IT THERE.

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Joy Sullivan, “Want", Instructions for Traveling West

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i’m such a whore for everlasting eternal love that transcends all realities through space and time

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You are here to create yourself, continuously.

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Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

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Ilya Kaminsky, from “A City Like a Guillotine Shivers on Its Way to the Neck”, Deaf Republic

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— Frank Bidart, from “Half-light: Collected Poems 1965-2016; ‘The Third Hour of the Night’", published c. 2017.

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Anne Sexton, from Complete Poems