fuckhellame
fuckhellame
I am a fucking turtle
51 posts
or at least it's what I've been convincing myself to be
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fuckhellame · 3 months ago
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I'm a man, under 40, I live in a rural area in East Asia, a secluded town on the mountain. I don't have a lot of friends and my family lives not far away–I live ON the mountain and they're downtown. It takes about 2 hours to drive and meet up with them, but we keep regular visits on holidays. I used to work in the capital city, but I don't like the atmosphere there, so after covid and the work-from-home being a thing, I decide to move to a quieter place.
You can imagine how surprised I was when I received that package. It was a carton box, nothing special in particular, nothing that piqued my attention. There's no sender name or address on the package information. Now, before anyone criticizes me for taking suspicious things that aren't mine, I saw my name and address and even phone number in the recipient part. And although I've sometimes come across posts about shady things sent to them by creepy people, I never thought I would one day be one of them.
Still, my caution didn't die (lucky me, or not). I assumed that the box was from my family, so I didn't open it right away. I called my parents to ask about it. Everyone said that they didn't send anything to me–and it made perfect sense because I would be there with them on the upcoming weekend, which was the next day. There was no need to waste money on sending me what they could have just handed me right away.
The second idea that came to my head was that the sender got the address mixed up and I ended up getting other people's things. It sounded convincing enough for me to shove the box away into a storage place. My initial intention was to wait until the next day when the post office opened, bring the box to them and announce that this isn't my thing, and let it be someone else's problem.
I didn't do it. The next day was Saturday and the closest post office to me closed (they also close at 3pm everyday). I went to my family, had fun, went home and forgot about the box completely. I kinda went on with my life as if nothing had happened after that. Nothing happened, for a while, until I found a very long strand of hair in my food. Not once, but three times, in 5 days. Not my hair, but a woman's hair, long and black.
Keep in mind that I'm a man and I cut my hair regularly.
Also, I live in a secluded town on the mountain, it's easier and cheaper to cook by myself than call delivery. Everything I eat is prepared by me, I can't find any probability for a woman's hair to be my food.
And after the 6 or 7th time it happened, I started to realize that the hair all looked the same. I threw them away, still, I remember they're at the relative same length, same color (or if there was any difference it would be very hard to detect), a bit wavy (?) at the end (it's like the hair curled up into a loop).
I was startled about it (and stupid me still didn't remember the box). I called my family and told them the story, I probably sounded a bit frantic, so they had to comfort me. My brother told me that I should ask a shaman or mentalist or medium–whatever kind of spiritual specialist available in my area–to help.
Eventually, I followed his advice. I asked anyone I could think of for recommendations. Some people came and left, and none found out what was going on in my place. I kept finding the hair, and it got under my skin. I started thinking about moving out.
One day, when one of my dad's friends, who also claimed that he had the gift, visited my place, he looked at my storage place and said that he sensed a kind of evil energy coming from there. He helped me go through it, then we found the box that I'd forgotten about. The anonymous box sent to me that I told myself to make it the post office's problem, turned out to STILL be my problem, because, you got it, my dad's friend said that the evil energy came from it.
So we opened it (what was there to lose?) and I finally saw the content. Not exactly for the first time, though, because I think I'd seen through a fair share of it. There was fingerprints, like someone had touched the box with wet hands and the damp never went away. There was hair inside the box, long hair that seemingly belonged to a woman. Some of them had gone partially grey, suggesting the touches of old age, or, in this case depression.
I had a feeling that I knew where the hair belonged to. After I'd settled down in my parents’ place (I couldn't stand staying in that house anymore), I made a phone call to one of my ex co-workers from when I worked in the capital city. It then confirmed my suspicion.
There was a girl at my old workplace, let's call her Miss Y. Some of my ex coworkers said that Miss Y had a crush on me, but she never said anything about it and I thought I shouldn't bring it up, either. I kept a professional attitude toward everyone until I quit my job and moved away.
I never thought twice about my old workplace, whether it was the coworkers, Miss Y, or the fact that she might had something for me. But my ex coworker confirmed that Miss Y was so devastated when I left that part of her hair went grey months later. She cut them off after another few months and also quit her job. They didn't know where she was now. I didn't see any point for them to lie.
I threw the box almost immediately so I don't have any picture of it, but my brother helped me to create an image to illustrate what I found.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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I know I'm far behind the hydrangeas seasin, but it's done when it's done.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Another Bantaka fic featuring urban legend bc y not?
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Yahiko and Konan bc y not?
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Bantaka is at once knight/lord and old married couple except they still behave like they're freshly in love
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Look at them just chilling and enjoying each other’s company, look how they’re mirroring each other, look how comfortable Takasugi is with Bansai sitting on his blind side, look at their little smiles and how they’re sharing a look, look at the moment they’re having even though they’re not alone and surrounded by so much chaos, look- 
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Never think I'd do E-rated again, but time's proven I'm not the person of my words (truth be told, I'm the exact opposite of my words).
For Bansai's birthday y'all.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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The sister fic to Heaven is where you are, also the sibling of the one that started my bantaka obsession.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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I don't say that I can't write fluff, but I think I do it better with messed up themes. Still, this one is humour and fluff, with a tiny plow twist but in the end they're all happy.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Don't be afraid to leave comment. Fictions aren't like social media. Just leave a comment no matter how long it's been and the author'll be flustered with joy, I guarantee you. It may be nothing to you, but it will make someone's day.
YOU THERE! YES YOU! FIC READER!
I just read a fic from 2013 and left a comment on the end. The author responded within 3 hours.
Please leave comments on fics. It doesn't matter if you don't know what to say I literally made a joke about a space worm. Please comment on fics it'll make the authors day even if its from 9 years ago.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Sometimes I do feel like we don't talk about Bansai and Otsuu enough. He has the ability to see through people's broken state and capture who they really are, given how he found and perceives of Takasugi.
Otsuu turns out to be really inspirational - comedy aside, she truly inspired Shinpachi to press on with his life. She's a muse to some extent, not simply an idol. There's no way that Bansai cannot see it and find it intriguing. After all, he's interested in the unconventional songs of the soul, and I'm pretty sure that Otsuu's song doesn't fit in the conventional category.
I think Bansai saw that in her personality and was drawn to her. Like Shinpachi, he can tell that the little girl singing on the street despite people giving her sneers is capable of more than just singing. He can tell that she's the under dog that rises when given a proper chance, and once she rises she can outshine even the brightest stars. That was why he invested in her. (Aside from wanting to have someone with enough influence to turn the table in favor of Kiheitai if need be lol).
Still, I think there maybe more to it than just taking advantages or seeing potentials. I think Bansai somehow finds a part of himself reflected in her. They share the same interest in music, and perhaps he would have a normal, peaceful lofe to pursue his passion had it not been for a war to break out. Perhaps he was once THAT determined to music, only to leave it behind as the unfortunate events took place, leading him one steps too astray from peace, too far from his dream. Perhaps Bansai wants Otsuu to succeed because he can't stand seeing another person like him trail off, another dream fail, and another life wrecked by this forsaken world.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Breagan is like my ulti friendship in cartoon. I love them so much.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Chapter update on the letter fic. I just love to explore Bansai's opinion on the Shinsengumi
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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In another life.
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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What he should have really said in that prison cell
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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Shinsuke's jealousy over Bansai never stops being amusing to me. Like Bansai expresses appreciation for Gintoki's and the Shinsengumi's music and Shinsuke's like. Bansai do you not like my music anymore
Meanwhile Bansai has never been jealous of any of Shinsuke's relationships. Instead he's always supportive. Oh those are the men who fought by your side during the war, awesome, I'd love to know them and see what you were like when you lived with them, Shinsuke, go have all the fun with your friends, if you die someday make sure you're by your friends' side—
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fuckhellame · 2 years ago
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We see Bansai being very open and straightforward with his affection for Shinsuke, but people tend to overlook that Shinsuke liked Bansai first and is in fact deeply attached to Bansai as well.
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Shinsuke was the one to make the first move. He asked Bansai to come with him.
And then much, much later, he seems to say the exact opposite words...
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...but he means the same message. That he wants Bansai to be in his life for always.
Shinsuke relies heavily on Bansai when they run the Kiheitai together. He trusts Bansai with negotiations and public missions. He shares his thoughts on Itou, a private guest, with Bansai.
Shinsuke leaves his team immediately after the battle where Bansai dies. There literally isn't a single day when Shinsuke had to run the revived Kiheitai without Bansai. Conversely, Bansai's also shown to be too worried to run the Kiheitai on his own when Shinsuke's in a coma.
I guess I just want more fuel for "Shinsuke and Bansai as co-leaders of Kiheitai". They are more partners than leader and subordinate within the team they built and run together.
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