fuckyeahbakumatsu

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He looks like he's lecturing his cotton candy and that makes sense for him somehow

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Just got out of a session with my therapist and I was telling her about Hijikata-san but I guess I kept using present tense verbs and she kept correcting me and I had to ask her to stop and just let me live in blissful ignorance

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Hijikata looks so dapper as a Taishou gentleman in the Asakusa Romankan collaboration that got announced earlier this week. Needless to say I had to draw Chizuru in the matching kimono.

Why is she laughing, and where are they going? I leave that up to your imagination, but here are some things that crossed my mind while drawing:

Mr. and Mrs. Hijikata on their honeymoon, a research trip, or just a leisurely holiday. He's a published poet/professor of historical Japanese literature (and his work is well-appreciated by his fans), and she's a published writer/doctor. They met at a writer's event at the university… or something.

[fuckyeahbakumatsu]

大切な人の腕に

Happy (correctly converted) birthday, Toshi 🎉

I know I've drawn their hug before (and this probably won't be the last time either), but it's such an important moment, I just had to. It's the moment where Hijikata accepts that he needs her by his side. Life -what little he has left - is better with her. Now that she's here, he can't imagine having to live until his last battle in pain and agony. Every excuse he's used in the past three months to convince himself it was the right choice to leave her behind, was countered by her. No, it's the right choice to let her stay. To keep her with him. The crushing weight on his shoulders feels lighter when she's with him. It's right now. He can breathe a little easier now.

I always liked how Chizuru says that his hug felt like "now he had [her], he didn't want to let go any more." The distance that had been there before, is gone. In the few moments of peace they have, he's no longer (just) the Vice Minister of the Army, but Toshizou, and she's Chizuru. Disregarding the spin-offs, it's the first time he addresses her as such in the main story as well.

It only gets a casual mention in Chizuru's narration (I got spoiled [ ] Hijikata-san was nice to me), but that causal time is so important to Hijikata's mental state of mind. He's no longer thinking about dying alone on the battlefield, but instead wishing for a chance of living a life with her by his side.

Ootori will have to find a wife of his own, after all.

[fuckyeahbakumatsu]

I've kind of grasped that but I'm autistic I either objectively understand something or I feel like I'm dying 😭

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This Saito doll is the most recent that I made 🌸 He‘s around 15 cm tall and I used actual doll eyes for the first time, I like how he turned out 🥰

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I've been 100% Souji trash for 13 years now and the correct answer is that both of them are right

Me, an Okita fan, vs my friend who very much isn't

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DNI if you support the Choushuu expeditions

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"No matter what happens from now on, I will stay by your side!" "... Thanks"

A little something I needed to get out of my system quickly before I move on to the final chapters of Hijikata's route. It breaks my heart a little, seeing Chizuru so determined to help and support him and the burden he carries, no matter what they may encounter on their path north, all while he is planning to leave her behind and take the burden off her shoulders.

Ultimately, both their wishes are fuelled by the bond they share and what they feel for each other. (I'm not naming it love just yet, in the sense of romantic love, but it's a form of love that is not any less meaningful).

[fuckyeahbakumatsu]

"... Father..."

I noticed some people have started playing Hijikata's route recently, so I'm going to spoiler tag my drawings for a while, I think.

We have made it to Sendai castle, and because I was forced to stop half-way through the pain that is the second half of this particular part, there was something else that caught my attention. It's a very small part, not even worth more than two text lines, but to me, it was a testament of the kind of man Hijikata is.

For the past few weeks, Hijikata has to leave friends behind left and right in various circumstances, some he didn't have the chance to say goodbye to. Yet, despite the carnage and the situation they're in, he wants to make sure that Chizuru gets the opportunity to properly say goodbye to the father she'd been searching for the past four years.

Is that another reason he uses to convince himself it's time to leave her behind? Now that she found her father, she has no reason to stay?

[fuckyeahbakumatsu]

あとで仕上げる～メイドの日