fujianji

[fujianji]

just my perspective…

honesty is sometimes good and sometimes bad. it doesn’t always mean you’re being helpful a lot of times when being so. sometimes, yeaaa, it helps but it’s just extremely useless if it doesn’t serve any good, and/or if you just want to gratify your own selfish ego and pride. sometimes, your honesty is a lie for others—what you sense is not always the truth for them especially if the “honesty” that you thought is condescending and downplays people. if you think that’s “honesty”, then you completely don’t have any idea about it. try to see for yourself what you’d feel if done the other way around.

“honesty is the best policy if it begins with self-respect and kindness.”

[fujianji]

maraming beses nang may sumubok na sumira sa mga panalangin ko. kaya naman this time, I know God will work it out again for me, for us. walang negatibong mga bagay ang nakahadlang sa mga answered prayers na meron ako at ganun din sa mga darating pang mga answered prayers. Lord, I praise You and I trust in You.

[fujianji]

“Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. Take control of your life. Let go of people who serve you no good. Start doing things to make you happy.”

— Reyna Biddy

[fujianji]

sometimes, I envy them for having a seemingly perfect life; for having a constantly supportive parents; them doing the things that they love; I envy them for receiving the love that they need ever since they were little up until now that they’ve grown up. I envy them for having their future figured out at a young age and being able to study the course that they really love. I envy them for being so hardworking and successful in their endeavors in life. sometimes, I feel like my life is so dull, so lost that I can’t even decide what I really want in my life.

these are too much envy and insecurities that I have been carrying with me, in my heart. these things have caused my heart to shatter into millions of pieces. sometimes, i feel like it’s impossible to heal on my own. sometimes I feel like I’m just surviving, just breathing and letting things go as they should.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m an adult now but I still feel helpless and tired of everything, while carrying the world on my shoulders.

I need help.

I know You can hear me oh God.

I know You are there,

Beside me.

I surrender oh God…

I need You to fix my whole heart and my soul.

I know You’re just waiting for me,

there,

in Paradise.

Just let me experience the goodness of this life, just once…

[fujianji]

[fujianji]

A library of melancholic desires and forgotten dreams

[fujianji]

I love the smell of autumn rain…

[fujianji]

[fujianji]

[fujianji]

I feel homesick for a world that only exists in my mind.

[fujianji]

My hormonal changes make me want to write things down. What things? I’m not really sure lol. But, I’m sure that these things will pass.

[fujianji]

[fujianji]

🥺

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

[fujianji]

ohhhh <3 i could live here

[fujianji]

Maybe all we ever wanted was to just express ourselves.

[fujianji]

[fujianji]

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive." (ctto)

True to the quote, Angelene Figueroa believes that the most beautiful thing a person can ever receive is love and compassion. Hence, she confidently chooses to have a heart that is composed of those perennial things that she, herself, may offer to this vast universe.

Angelene is an introvert. She used to be so alone that the other people misperceived her as a snob person. In contrary to their opinion, you will be surprised by how good enough she gets along with other people. She is not showy and sometimes, cold, but she is always there whenever people need her especially her family, friends, and classmates. Despite being misjudged, she strives hard enough and improves herself to be as friendly as she can be. Hence, she becomes stronger and happier.

She always gives her best support to others to make them feel validated and important. But sometimes, people mistake her kindness as a weakness, that's why some tend to abuse her concern. Nevertheless, she remains forgiving for she knows that everyone who do her wrong might also be just going through a lot, too, that they just need to be understood as well as be forgiven.

One of her friends used to tell her not to be so kind. Angelene didn't get her friend at first, but later on, she realized that too much kindness is what also gave her too much hurting. Gratefully, she upheld her friend's advice and let it sink in down to her heart. She eventually learned to balance her grace for people by setting personal boundaries. Inspite of it all, she firmly concluded to herself that kindness is not an act of weakness but of strength, because she knows that kindness means understanding that we are all struggling. She believes that that certain trait is a gift sent from above.

Moreover, what lead her to the pursuance of her dream job is her awful experiences in life. She may look perfectly fine on the outside, but deep down in her soul are the scars sealed by her troubled past. She actually had been through a lot of miseries when she was still a little up to her adolesence; but inspite of it all, she was able to conquer the atrocious battle and even handled her heart and mind unexpectedly fine. Her personality traits and pretty ugly past made her want to become a Mental Health Advocate/Support Worker to serve, provide guidance, and encouragement to people through physical and emotional support with compassion and love.