fujibutts

[fujibutts]

It all begins after a long, stressful night at the library. Sangwoo hated pulling all-nighters, but he had to finish and turn in the essay assigned for his Intro to Policing class. It would all be worth it when he finally starts work as a police officer and can actually help people.

But right now he’s just a tired college student that desperately needs caffeine before he passes out. Thankfully, the café on campus opens absurdly early.

He stumbles through the threshold and orders a large black coffee before collapsing into a chair at one of the empty tables. He lays his head on his arms for just a moment to rest his eyes. Just for a minute.

Next thing he knows, there’s a gentle nudging on his shoulder and a soft voice asking him to wake up.

Sangwoo grumbles and clumsily tries to bat the hand away, “Five more minutes mom,” he groans.

But the hand keeps nudging him and says something about coffee being ready.

He reluctantly lifts his head, blinking blearily at the person next to him. It takes a few seconds, but his vision clears up and is met with the biggest pair of brown eyes he’s ever seen. “Um, you’re not mom.”

The boy in front of him looks away sheepishly, avoiding eye contact. Sangwoo feels like he recognizes him, with that unique haircut and porcelain white skin that clearly emphasizes the dark circle under his sad looking eyes. “Sorry,” the boy mumbles, “you fell asleep but your coffee is ready now,” he gestures to the mug resting on the table in front of him.

“Oh, man don’t be sorry,” Sangwoo smiles apologetically, “I should be sorry. Thanks for bringing me the coffee though, I really appreciate it.”

The barista blushes bright red before turning away sharply when the door opened to reveal the second customer of the day. “It’s really no trouble,” he mumbles so quietly that Sangwoo can only guess if he heard it right.

…

He begins seeing Cute Barista Boy around campus after that. Sangwoo notices that he always has his eyes trained on the ground, walking quickly despite the tired look on his face. He wonders what type of life this boy leads. Maybe they’ve met before and that’s why he looks so familiar? Or maybe his brain is just tricking him because he finds this boy so attractive.

During the tail end of the first semester, when Sangwoo is spending a majority of his time at the library, he realizes that the boy is not only a barista, but a librarian. He often sees Cute Barista Boy (now renamed Cute Librarian) shelving books or helping people check out books at the front desk. He seems shy, but is friendly enough to customers and is always willing to help people find things. Whenever he helps Sangwoo check out the many research files ne needs for classes he always turns a little pink and gives him a small smile. Hands down it’s the cutest thing Sangwoo has ever seen.

His little crush continues even after break and into the second semester. He notices that Cute Librarian is a little more lively; the bags under his eyes are lighter and he looks up when he walks around now, instead of staring intently at the books in his hands or on the floor.

One time, when Sangwoo was sitting on a grassy lawn on campus with his friends, Cute Barista Boy and him made eye contact! He seemed a little out of it, but Sangwoo thinks that counts. He only regrets that he didn’t wave at him or anything.

As the semester progresses, he notices that he often sees the boy in the library late at night and soon Sangwoo finds himself frequenting the library at later and later times, hoping to catch a glimpse of the cute librarian. Maybe ask strike up a conversation and then win him over with his smooth talking and they can go on a date and fall madly in love with each other.

Sangwoo knew he had it bad. Not to mention he sounded like a creepy stalker!

So when he sees the Cute Librarian shelving books near where he had settled in for a long night of studying, he knew it was now or never.

“Hello?” he calls out. The boy jumps, more startled than Sangwoo would have expected. The boy’s eyes are wide as his mouth hangs open, but at least he doesn’t drop any of the books he’s holding. He’s cute, in the same way that a small startled kitten would be, and Sangwoo wants nothing more than to protect this boy.

But he has to get to know him first. It would be kind of weird, to just take him underwing… that would be kidnapping.

He just wants to get to know the Cute Librarian. Maybe get some coffee at the campus café, or a quick study session, or-

“Um, can I… help you?”

Sangwoo realizes he must have been staring while his thoughts wandered. His also realizes that this must have looked unbearably creepy to this boy. He didn’t want to be creepy, he just wanted to take him out! Maybe wrap him up in a warm blanket and feed him soup and-

“Sorry, my mind tends to wander. Can you help me find this book?” he hands the cute librarian a slip of paper with the call number for a book he knows is on the other side of the library, but he can’t just let this chance go!

Cute Librarian scans the paper and motions for Sangwoo to follow, leading the way with his little push-cart of books.

“Oh, did I disturb your work?” Sangwoo asks, suddenly aware of the cart half-full of books that looks much too heavy for this boy to be pushing by himself.

“No, no it’s fine!” he turns and faces Sangwoo. The two of them stop, just looking at each other. The silence of the library is almost suffocating, and from this close he can see red slowly blooming on the boy’s cheeks. “I-I mean,” the boy turns back to their task, grunting a bit as he tried to get the cart rolling again, “it’s no problem, I like… helping people find things in here.”

Sangwoo grinned inwardly as he spied the smallest of smiles grace Cute Librarian’s face. “Well, I like it when people help me find things in the library!”

They continue the rest of the trek across the library in silence, weaving their way through hallways and shelves, and the occasional student cramming for a test in the early hours before dawn. Their time together has to end eventually though, when they stop in front of a bookshelf in the section of the library with case files. The section that Sangwoo knew quite well in his months as a criminology major.

Cute Librarian reaches up for the book, stretching enough for his shirt to ride up and reveal a sliver of porcelain white skin and- fuck- Sangwoo freezes, entranced by the sight as Cute Librarian grunts and lifts himself up on his tip-toes to try to make a grab for the book.

“Almost… almost… ah!”

Sangwoo blinks up at the boy, suddenly in front of him holding out the book he needs.

“I hope this is the right one,” he offers with a shy smile. He’s looking up at Sangwoo through the thick eyelashes framing his big brown doe eyes. His lips look slightly chapped and bitten, matching the pink of his cheeks which are still slightly flushed from trying so hard to get the book that Sangwoo needed.

“Thank… you…” takes the book from the boy, reaching far enough that their fingers brush in passing. “I…” he really doesn’t want this to end. This beautiful, beautiful boy, and those- no, he can’t leave without at least getting a name.

“Oh Sangwoo- um, that’s- that’s my name.” He smiles what he hopes is a charming smile despite his steadily moistening palms. The boy in front of him looks surprised at his sudden introduction, and doesn’t seem like he’s going to be responding any time soon. “You can call me Sangwoo,” he adds.

The boy blinks at him and begins fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater, “I’m Yoon Bum.”

Sangwoo can’t help but grin. Success!  He lets his usual charming nature take over. Now that he’s got a name, it’s time to start wooing. ”Nice to meet you Bum, if I can call you that?” he asks with a flirtatious smile.

Bum’s face grows redder as he nods vigorously, “That-that’s okay! It’s nice to meet you too, Sangwoo.”

This boy was just too adorable for Sangwoo to let him escape. He’s so cute with his shy disposition and eagerness to help, and if Sangwoo wasn’t hallucinating earlier, that was a definitely a pair of lacy underwear he saw. Nope, he can’t let this beautiful boy go without at least asking him out. It’s time to go in for the kill.

“Thank you so much for helping me find this book, it would’ve taken forever to find it by myself!” Sangwoo laughs, or barks, more accurately. He ruffles the fuzz of his undercut nervously, he meant for that to come out as charming and flirtatious, not awkward and stupid.

Thankfully, Bum doesn’t seem to take it as a sign of his clear incompetence and the corners of his lips turn up ever so slightly in that little smile of his. “It was really no problem, I’m glad to help.” Bum quickly breaks eye contact and gnaws on his bottom lip as if he wants to say something more.

With newfound confidence, Sangwoo is ready to continue with his plan.

“If-“

“I was-“

“Oh you go first!”

“No, you go first!”

“Please go, it wasn’t anything important.”

A protest is on the tip of Sangwoo’s tongue, ready to proclaim that nothing short of poetry could fall from his perfect lips, but he stops himself in time. No, that would be coming on too strong. Just a little bit. He has to work his way up to that.

“Um, I was just going to, well…” Dammit Sangwoo why is he like this? “I wanted to know if you wanted to go out sometime?” okay, that’s a good start. Come on Sangwoo, you can do it! “Maybe we can get something to eat at the café across campus?” Well, at least it was a strong start even if he didn’t finish strong. Sangwo sighs in resignation and averts his eyes in shame. There’s no way that Bum found that attractive.

But when he doesn’t hear any outright rejection, he chances a glance at the boy.

Bum’s eyes as wide as saucers, mouth opening and closing in disbelief. His cheeks are an alarming shade of red as he meets the taller boy’s eyes.

“Is… is this really happening right now?” he chokes out.

“Huh?”

“Are you… asking me out?” It was as if Bum didn’t even believe the words were coming out of his mouth.

“Yeah,” Sangwoo chuckles nervously, “As thanks- if that’s okay. I wanted to repay you, for helping me find this book!” he cut himself off as Bum’s expression grew more and more dejected. Did he say something wrong?

“No, you don’t have to repay me. You probably don’t remember, but… Last year you helped me,” Bum murmurs. “I owe you my life, so please don’t feel like you owe me anything.”

“Saved…” Sangwoo thinks back on the past year. Last year he was still in the military. Those two years were pretty unremarkable, full of paperwork and cleaning that was dumped on him by lazy superiors. There weren’t any notable events, except for one incident near the end of his service… “Was… Was that man you?”

[fujibutts]

help me find a title for this

TIMELINE

Year 0: Bum is born

Year 1: Sangwoo is born

Year 14: Bum’s parents die, sent to live with uncle

Year 18: Bum graduates, begins 2 years of compulsory service

Year 19: Sangwoo graduates, mom dies, begins 2 years of compulsory service

Year 20: Bum’s 2 years are over, kept for extra year as fucktoy

Year 21: Sangwoo’s 2 years are over, discovers Bum being raped

Year 22: Both go to university

Year 23: Bum pining, Sangwoo courting him

Year 24: Sangwoo discovers Bum’s abusive uncle, moving in together

Year 25: Graduation -> Sangwoo works at police station, Bum at a bookstore

Year 28: 5 year anniversary (Present Day)

-Bum working at the school library to pay tuition/rent- a helpful cutie!!!

Sometimes Bum wondered whether leaving his uncle’s house was actually a good idea.

On one hand, it was hell. From the moment he stepped through the door as a newly orphaned fourteen year old, that man had made it his life’s goal to break Yoon Bum. To completely shatter him and then use those shards to rip him up into even littler pieces with no hope of ever being put together again.

But on the other hand, he had a roof over his head (though he was often forced to stay home other than school, so it was more like a prison), food in his belly (well, only sometimes when uncle was feeling generous or was too drunk to notice… it was still considered food when dug out of the trash, right?), but most of all, Bum had his medication.

Even before his parents’ deaths Bum had been seeing a child psychiatrist regularly about his severe anxiety. During the last session before the accident, they were working on a plan to help him with a speech he had to perform in front of the class.

After the accident, after moving in with uncle and moving schools, Bum didn’t see that psychiatrist anymore. He began seeing someone else at the insistence of the doctor who monitored him during recovery. Bum didn’t like his new psychiatrist. He had been feeling this way for as long as he could remember and had made no substantial progress in years of therapy. Now that mom and dad were dead, he really didn’t see the point to any of it. Why bother? Nothing has changed and nothing ever will…

Until she brought up the topic of medication.

Bum’s parents and his old psychiatrist didn’t like the idea of him taking medication, but they weren’t here anymore. Bum could see that his uncle was growing weary of the way he acted; he didn’t want to upset his already irritable guardian so he jumped on the opportunity. Anything to help.

And help it did.

Slowly but steadily, Bum could feel something shift within him. He could think more clearly, without irrational thoughts to make him feel nauseous with anxiety. He found the desire to get up from his bed every morning- instead of the fear of uncle being upset with him scaring him out from under the covers.

But uncle, generous uncle with shelter and food wasn’t satisfied anymore. Bum was too obedient now, not fun to toy with.

He threatened to take away the pills, if Bum didn’t follow his orders.

Bum was afraid of what uncle wanted, but he was more afraid of what would happen if he sank back into the hole he had been in for the first fourteen years of his life. His classmates had only recently started including him in conversations; he even had a few people he could call his friends!

At fifteen, Bum had been the closest he’s been to happy for as long as he can remember. He would do whatever he needed to keep that happiness.

…

He was wrong, of course.

It got worse at home and talking to overly enthusiastic kids at schools wasn’t enough to make up for the fact that he wanted to die.

But he lived, and lived through hell again for three years…

Until someone stepped in.

It was someone he recognized that began service a year after he did. He didn’t get a name, but he remembered that face. Those determined eyes and those saving words.

He remembered and remembered as he returned from service and entered university years too late.

Uncle sent him an invitation to come home, but with shaking, sweaty hands, Bum threw that letter into the garbage.

It was hard. He started work at dawn, opening the café on campus for sleep deprived students like himself. Bum never touched the coffee though, because he learnt the hard way that caffeine triggered his anxiety and he no longer had medication to help.

He worked until his classes began in the morning, and went on until early afternoon. As pathetic as it felt, Bum generally went home to his dilapidated apartment in the shady part of town and passed out until his graveyard shift at the library began. From there he generally went straight to open the café, and on went the cycle.

Often Bum wondered what he was doing all of this for. He didn’t have any ambitions or goals, all he wanted to do was live an average life, as an average person. So why was he working so hard?

No matter how many times he asked himself over his first few months at school, he never got a straight answer.

Eventually, a break came- in many senses of the word. First, the semester ended and Bum was free to work and save money without worrying about his grades. And second, he had been awarded a scholarship for the coming year, for outstanding academic achievement, of all things.

For the first time in months Bum could breathe a little easier.

With the money he saved up from working, and the aid received from the school, Bum left the little shell he had built around himself and lifted his eyes to the world around him.

He had never realized how vibrant the campus was; sure occasionally he was irritated at the noise other students were causing while he was trying to study, but he would never have described it as vibrant until now.

Students were smiling and laughing, and he felt a stab of pain at the friendships he had lost all those years ago, and the potential friendships he was never able to explore.

Bum sighed and realized that while he had been staring blankly into space, it had seemed like he was staring right at somebody’s face.

And he recognized that face.

BEGIN SANGWOO’S POV

-Sangwoo begins to notice him around, becomes smitten but doesn’t know how to approach him

        -cue Sangwoo always asking for help even though he can find books himself

“Hello?” he calls out. The boy jumps, more startled than Sangwoo would have expected. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open, but at least he doesn’t drop any of the books he’s holding. He’s cute, in the same way that a small startled kitten would be, and Sangwoo wants nothing more than to protect this boy.

But he has to get to know him first. It would be kind of weird, to just take him underwing… that would be kidnapping.

He just wants to get to know this cute librarian. Maybe get some coffee at the campus café, or a quick study session, or-

“Um, can I… help you?”

Sangwoo realizes he must have been staring while his thoughts wandered. His also realizes that this must have looked unbearably creepy to this boy. He didn’t want to be creepy, he just wanted to take him out! Maybe wrap him up in a warm blanket and feed him soup and-

“Sorry, my mind tends to wander. Can you help me find this book?” he hands the cute librarian a slip of paper with the call number for a book he knows is on the other side of the library, but he’s been seeing this boy around the library a lot and he finally found the perfect excuse to talk to him.

Cute Librarian scans the paper and motions for Sangwoo to follow, leading the way with his little push-cart of books.

“Oh, did I disturb your work?” Sangwoo asks, suddenly aware of the cart half-full of books that looks much too heavy for this boy to be pushing by himself.

“No, no it’s fine!” he turns and faces Sangwoo. The two of them stop, just looking at each other. The silence of the library is almost suffocating, and he can see red slowly blooming on the boy’s cheeks. “I-I mean,” the boy turns back to their task, grunting a bit as he got the cart rolling again, “it’s no problem, I like… helping people find things in here.”

Sangwoo grinned inwardly as he spied the smallest of smiles grace Cute Librarian’s face. “Well, I like it when people help me find things in the library!”

They continue the rest of the trek across the library in silence, weaving their way through hallways and shelves, and the occasional student cramming for a test in the early hours before dawn. Their time together has to end eventually though, when they stop in front of a bookshelf in the section of the library with case files. The section that Sangwoo knew quite well in his months as a criminology major.

Cute Librarian reaches up for the book, stretching enough for his shirt to ride up and reveal a sliver of porcelain white skin and- fuck- Sangwoo freezes, entranced by the sight as Cute Librarian grunts and lifts himself up on his tip-toes to try to make a grab for the book.

“Almost… almost… ah!”

Sangwoo blinks up at the boy, suddenly in front of him holding out the book he needs.

“I hope this is the right one,” he offers with a shy smile. He’s looking up at Sangwoo through the thick eyelashes framing his big brown doe eyes. His lips look slightly chapped and bitten, matching the pink of his cheeks which are still slightly flushed from trying so hard to get the book that Sangwoo needed.

“Thank… you…” takes the book from the boy, reaching far enough that their fingers brush in passing. “I…” he really doesn’t want this to end. This beautiful, beautiful boy, and those- no, he can’t leave without at least getting a name.

“Oh Sangwoo- um, that’s- that’s my name.” He smiles what he hopes is a charming smile despite his steadily moistening palms. The boy in front of him looks surprised at his sudden introduction, and doesn’t seem like he’s going to be responding any time soon. “You can call me Sangwoo,” he adds.

The boy blinks at him and begins fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater, “I’m Yoon Bum.”

Sangwoo can’t help but grin. Success! He lets his usual charming nature take over. Now that he’s got a name, it’s time to start wooing. ”Nice to meet you Bum, if I can call you that?” he asks with a flirtatious smile.

Bum’s face grows redder as he nods vigorously, “That-that’s okay! It’s nice to meet you too, Sangwoo.”

This boy was just too adorable for Sangwoo to let him escape. It’s time to go in for the kill.

“Thank you so much for helping me find this book, it would’ve taken forever to find it by myself!” Sangwoo laughs, or barks, more accurately. He ruffles the fuzz of his undercut nervously, he meant for that to come out as charming and flirtatious, not awkward and stupid.

Thankfully, Bum doesn’t seem to take it as a sign of his clear incompetence and the corners of his lips turn up ever so slightly in that little smile of his. “It was really no problem, I’m glad to help.” Bum quickly breaks eye contact and gnaws on his bottom lip as if he wants to say something more.

With newfound confidence, Sangwoo is ready to continue with his plan.

“If-“

“I was-“

“Oh you go first!”

“No, you go first!”

“Please go, it wasn’t anything important.”

A protest is on the tip of Sangwoo’s tongue, ready to proclaim that nothing short of poetry could fall from his perfect lips, but he stops himself in time. No, that would be coming on too strong. Just a little bit. He has to work his way up to that.

“Um, I was just going to, well…” Dammit Sangwoo why are you like this? “I wanted to know if you wanted to go out sometime?” okay, that’s a good start. Come on Sangwoo, you can do it! “Maybe we can get something to eat at the café across campus?” Well, at least it was a strong start even if he didn’t finish strong. Sangwo sighs in resignation and averts his eyes in shame. There’s no way that Bum found that attractive.

But when he doesn’t hear any outright rejection, he chances a glance at the boy.

Bum’s eyes as wide as saucers, mouth opening and closing in disbelief. His cheeks are an alarming shade of red as he meets the taller boy’s eyes.

“Is… is this really happening right now?” he chokes out.

“Huh?”

“Are you… asking me out?” It was as if Bum didn’t even believe the words were coming out of his mouth.

“Yeah,” Sangwoo chuckles nervously, “As thanks- if that’s okay. I wanted to repay you, for helping me find this book!” he cut himself off as Bum’s expression grew more and more dejected. Did he say something wrong?

“No, you don’t have to repay me. You probably don’t remember, but… Last year you helped me,” Bum murmurs. “I owe you my life, so please don’t feel like you owe me anything.”

“Saved…” Sangwoo thinks back on the past year. Last year he was still in the military. Those two years were pretty unremarkable, full of paperwork and cleaning that was dumped on him by lazy superiors. There weren’t any notable events, except for that one incident near the end of his service… “Wait, that man… was you?”

okay so basically this is chapter 2?? chapter 1 is a cute established relationship thing where it’s their 5th anniversary and sangwoo is sending bum flowers throughout the day and it’s super cute and they have dinner and sangwoo starts reminiscing like the old man he is

chapter 3 is the rest of this conversation (cue light angst) a date and the beautiful start to their beautiful relationship.

chapter 4 is back to their anniversary dinner and SANGWOO PROPOSING