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to the boy who ive watched for the last 6 years, grow and become an amazing man who id happily spend the rest of my life with. thankyou for teaching me so many lessons over the time i've known you, from having minimal conversations to you each afternoon when were 14 and 15 and me always trying so hard to become good enough for you when i never needed too, to now being in your presence today and having you be there for me when things aren't right, you know what to say and you know what to do to make things right, nothing is better then that and i've waited so long to feel this from you, to feel wanted. i've always believed in the term if it's meant to be it will happen, no matter what path life takes you on if two people were supposed to love eachother then they would, it was a good to break away from eachother i believe. to learn new things from other people, to experience life on our own and for me personally to not feel like the only time i could be happy is if i was with you, ive always been mixed up, and i used to tell myself 'if things are okay with k**** then i'll be okay' i was so wrong, i soon learnt that you can't become dependant on another being to fulfill the empty space that lies within, we have both grown as people, i can personally say i have, i got to live and im so greatful for that. i've been able to love other people, make so many memories by doing things i never thought possible. it's the little things in life that do count towards the foundation of your being, it controls the way you think act and possibly can determine an outcome in most situations. have you ever felt like you wanted to say something so bad to someone but you can't because you know you'll lose them? have you ever been so afraid that one day the person you can't stop thinking about stops thinking about you? the physical pain you feel in your chest weakens you and everything's blurry right. you can't seem to understand why you will never be the person they are to you, to them. you feel loved you feel wanted and you feel cared for, but something's missing? and it's so hard for you to tell them what it is when you don't even know yourself, you're my person, without you everything's messy and hard to deal with, you understand me better then i even do myself. 'i don't love you' but it's clear to me this is what is needed to be said but the voice inside his head keeps him from saying anything he knows will break me, but the most important thing you need to know, that he and everyone needs to know, i can most certainly live without me if i have to, i just don't want too.
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its times like this where I PRAY the rumors are false. I don鈥檛 know, 聽I just can鈥檛 imagine Justin smoking weed I can鈥檛.
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