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!!!

obsessed with this sticky note drawing someone made at the local bobas place

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How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.

David Foster Wallace, from ‘The Pale King’

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While watching a conversation between David Foster Wallace and Charlie Rose (1997), his self-painfully reminds me of myself :). He is mega self-conscious and perfectionist at the time, in particular how he wanted people to observe him. He didn't recognizing/had firepower to adapt to the circumstances that people doesn't and cannot observe him complexly. Even the closest person he knows doesn't know 100% who DWF really is (and that person is DFW).

It reminded me how difficult it is to adapt to the social circumstances and even harder to accept that I need to adapt, even through I will need to accept that I lose a precios part of myself, when observed by the strangers. Like when adapting a book into a movie, the movie lose some cool book moment to translate the book into the visual media. Although sometimes it's painful to part with of these cool book moments, I better get a great 75% adaption of the book material than a disastrous and clumsy attempt at following on the 100%.

In my mind this sounded much better. I hope I didn't lose some of the complexity and urgency of this thought, which is greatly important for me.

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I, regrettably, had delayed watching Twin Peaks for a couple of years and now it's my all-time favorite TV series/one of the top favorite cinema works in general. It's easy to chose, even for the reason that it's great at storytelling AND the film does it differently. The way David Lynch/Mark Frost direct and write the film just shocks me awake from the usual way I experience movies. As if I'm a baby watching my first film.

The characters and lore is some ways unnatural, melodramatic, mystical. Surrealistic. And for me a great work of surrealism means it's employs "depictions of illogical or dreamlike scenes and ideas" (from wikipedia), but because like poetry it does it slantly, in a symbolic it is, paradoxically, "extra-realism". Twin Peaks tells so much more than most of the films/TV series I have watched. Now, going back to "regular" movies (movies that didn't come from the David Lynch's weird mind), in particular "The Menu" (2022), the character from this movie feel unnatural — even through they are written to be realistic from the get-go and the scriptwriter(-s) does a good job.

Other thing, I didn't encounter cinema enters me on both the cerebral level and the emotional one, the latter of which isn't common for me. AND especially both of them in a singularity!!

I also have much more to say about Lynchian characters in general, what is a "Lynchian face", and the clash of radical ordinariness and radical marginality in his works (at day a nice angel person we trust and want to hug — at night the most terrible, primal person), but I ran out of gaz.

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I’m not a perfectionist, but finding a typo or a grammatical error in my own already-published fic is like stepping on a Lego honestly

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I’m sad to see her go, but my Horned Girl is being shipped to her new home on Monday.  This was one of my first really “finished" watercolours and I’m still quite proud.  

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Ok, some thoughts following the lore dump of 3x84:

* Predathos is not that bad actually. I need it for drama, even through Matt almost 100% will not do it. If BH encounter Predathos and Predathos will make argument to follow him, this argument should be convincing and morally polarizing enough, it make BH's decision much more layered.

The situation with Predathos can be (in my fanon): either prime deities (considered to be the "good" gods of Exandria) were jealous of Predathos and locked him away. Yes, he made dinner out of his homies, but for sure there is dirt on other good gods that we don't know about. The second option (probably more likely, but still not realistic) - one of the prime deities collaborated with Pred to quietly kill off two other gods, but the job got out hand, and the collaborator framed Pred, locking him in the moon and making sure Pred is silent. Their reason was - the domain of one of the eaten gods overlapped with the domains of the two current gods, and the collaborator took them out of the religion equation (e.g., kord the god of competition worked against Ethadok, another god of competition).

*Still waiting on the clarifications on the manual on "how to become an Exaltant Ruidusborn" (there is also a chance I miss it/forgot the clarification). My current thinking, it doesn't directly dependant on the Ruidusborn to somehow unlock the abilities by themselves, but they are selected by Predathos according to the personality traits: determination, single-mindedness, ambition, cruelty, etc. Something which Predathos can mold into a devout and unaware follower with a life mission to free Pred. Comparing two different people: Fearne, even if she was tempted to join Pred, she would get immediately distracted and forgot to follow through with on the plans. Warren Dressing (historic authoritarian king of north Tal'Dorei), on the other hand, perfect fool to follow Pred, thinking they are leveled, Pred will share powers with him, but then dying in mud for nothing.

*Also on Dressing. He for sure had programm of planned Ruidusborn (PPR) to nurture elite psionic soldiers. Waiting for this reveal in the next Exandria Unlimited.

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If the work of art has story, either the author comes up with the meaning of a story or a reader comes with a interpretation of the story they like. Lewis Carroll's pieces or speaking-tongue music (e.g., Brian Eno's Before and After Science) doesn't necessarily has an inherited/found meaning, but they also lack a story. They are aesthetically beautiful!

I want to make a divisive poll where you can only vote yes or no

*you decide what you believe counts as a meaning or statement

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Matt facepalmed in 911 instances during campaign episodes. Poetic number to end on.

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the other really funny thing is Liam's strategy (quizzing everyone else on things only they'd know) is not a bad idea except you kind of need to tell everyone that the week before so they can all cram their own personal history and I really don't think he did that and just sprung it on them and they were like "Liam, I know my character would know this and it wasn't long ago for them, but to me, that is a minute detail from 2021"

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what studying literature feels like

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can't stand overly possessive people in relationships. "you're mine" first of all i belong to the sea

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CritRoleStats Announcement, November 2023

After 8 years of pouring our hearts into our work and being one of the premier sources of third-party Critical Role information from live play-by-plays to collected data sets to digestible lore to encounter strategies to any other random fancies that crossed us, this will be the final quarter of CritRoleStats. As of January 2024, our team will say goodbye to the site and all the responsibilities we’ve taken on. We’re all completionists at heart, but despite our stubbornness, there was always a point where we had to recognize when we were ready to move on.

2023 isn’t over yet, though, and we’re still going to be hard at work throughout the rest of the year. Here’s what we’re doing, and what our future plans entail.

Read more at critrolestats.com