fusionbreadfish

[fusionbreadfish]

Well that’s just hunky dory

[fusionbreadfish]

A thing for those of you who've been waiting for me, or wondering where I've gone off to.

I'm just going to be straight about this.

I am so many people on a daily basis. So many of the same me. I try to delude it, try to use roleplay to sate that need, but it doesn't seem to work these days. I keep trying, but it won't work.

I'm so tired. So many things happen, and I've been rushing to catch up. I'm not doing very well. The medicines they've given me don't actually affect me. They aren't strong enough.

I've been gone because I need to get my meds fixed, because I've needed time to really think.

Why is it that I have so many separate "mun" accounts? Why do I feel the need to keep changing my image?

And then it hit me.

I'm trying to be something for everyone.

I can be the avid roleplayer, the stoic writer, the aspiring artist, that one perverted friend that has all the weird kinks, a dreamer that can really make you believe in something, an untrusting and skeptical douche, the recluse, the most independent person in the world, and the most lonely you've ever met...

But the truth is, I'm all those things.

I'm just really scared that people can't accept me as all of them, so I try to be one or two at a time. In the time that I've done this, I've made so many friends over the internet. I love them dearly.

Thing is... they wouldn't love me back, if they knew all of me. At least, I convince myself that.

I'll give it one shot. One attempt to prove myself wrong, one attempt to put this ridiculous identity crisis behind me, once and for all.

...So I have a real account, now. It's all of me- all of my identities. What I actually am. It's fickle and weak and I'm not sure how it works, but I'm trying really, really hard.

If you want the link, I'll give it to you. But I warn... it's all of my interests. I do try and keep NSFW things off it, of course, but still. You might see something that changes your mind about me.

I guess I'll leave it at that, then. I don't expect to come back to my RP accounts here anytime soon. I'm trying to run a little ask blog, but in the most minimalistic way possible. I just... don't have the muse anymore. I hope I get it back soon.

-DNI

[fusionbreadfish]

yes im a boy

yes i knit things

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hhh it is, and we're so cute friend

sorry for making you all gooey tho

goodra hugs!

[fusionbreadfish]

GO HARD OR GO HOME

this looks fu-

sweet pissing jesus

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BYE

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losing friends to people you helped them meet

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fe male charcter/???????? have emOTEION?????????? w HA t?????? nO!!1!1! famel e woomen must have GUN!!!!!!!!!!11! BAd AsS!!1!11! NO LOEV!1!!!!!!!1 NO RELATION SHIP!!11!!! NE V RE CRY OR SHOWE EMOTION E!!!!!!!!!11!!!! FEEL IGN = WEAK! !!1

[fusionbreadfish]

could you imagine a psychic/dark type like its damn near invincible except a wurmple could kick its ass how fucked up is that

[fusionbreadfish]

*checks watch* oh would you look at that it’s time to smooch a cute furry boy

[fusionbreadfish]

So I was chatting with the lovely Justin Oaksford yesterday, and he casually asked if I used photo reference for my recent Rolemodels piece- not as a bad thing, but because the pose and the camera angle read well.  Pretty sure I grinned like an idiot when he brought it up because, goddammit, I’m proud that the work shows!  I’ve felt like my work has been somewhat stilted as of late- I could feel myself subconsciously trending towards easier angles, easier poses, easier expressions just because it’s slightly less frustrating for my brain to process- so getting that confirmation from a colleague was pretty damn satisfying.

I think there’s a tendency for artists to take pride in being able to draw out of your head, and, while that’s an admittedly important skill, what’s actually important is what that skill implies- it implies that you’ve internalized reference.  That you’ve spent so much time looking at the world around you, studying it, drawing from it, breaking it down, that you’ve amassed an extensive mental library that you can draw from.  You are Google reborn in the shallow husk of a human being.

But heck, the world’s a big place- what are the chances that you ever get to a point that you’ve internalized all of it?  Internalized it AND ALSO are never going to forget it ever?  Probably no chance at all.  Sorry buddy.  So rather than bemoaning the fact that we don’t have impenetrable search engine cyborg brains- yet- you sure as hell better still be using reference to fill in/refresh those empty shelves in your mental library.  You shouldn’t have worm-ridden books about dinosaur anatomy from the 60’s in there.  Stegosauruses with brains in their tails?  CLEAN THAT SHIT OUT.

So my general process for using reference of any sort is:

loose thumbnails and brainstorming.  If you have an idea, get that raw thing- unadulterated in it’s potential shittiness- onto paper.  Good art is a combination of both instinct and discipline, so you don’t want to entirely discount those lightning strikes of brilliance.  Or idiocy.  Happens to all of us.

research and reference.  Start gathering and internalizing whatever reference is pertinent to your piece- could be diagrams, art, photos, good old-fashioned READIN’, whathaveyou.  Please note that this doesn’t mean find one picture of a giraffe- this means find tons of photos of giraffes, read about giraffes, understand giraffes, and learn how to incorporate that knowledge into your art with purpose and intent (Justin uses the word “intent” a lot so I’m stealing it).  Don’t blindly copy what you see, but understand how to integrate it in an interesting and informed manner.

studies and practice.  Could be lumped in with the previous step, granted, but it’s worth reiterating- if you’re drawing something new, it’s worth doing some studies.  You discover things that you wouldn’t otherwise by just staring at them.  It’s weird how I’m still learning this- “Gee golly, six-shooters are way easier to draw now that I’ve drawn a ton of them!” Yes wow Claire BRILLIANT.  Gold star.

go for the gold.  Finally, I’m sure it goes without saying, you integrate all of that research and knowledge into your initial thumbnails.  If you learned something about anatomy, or fashion, or color, or butts, now you can drastically improve your original idea with this newfound knowledge.  Also, per the images above, this is also your chance to improve on the reference- photos are a fantastic tool, but trust your instincts.  Cameras can’t make informed decisions.

…So that’s my soapbox- it’s pretty easy, and it’s totally worth it.  Research and reference lets you stand on the shoulders of giants- it lends legitimacy, specificity, and allure to your work that wouldn’t be there if you were just drawing out of your head 100% of the time.  To put it simply- it makes your work ownable.  It makes you stand out.

It makes you a better artist. :)

-C