fxirypasta

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TEXT ME TEXT ME TEXT ME TEXT ME

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I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health

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Thinking about her strapping me, holding my legs open whilst she pushes into me, holding a vibe to my clit whilst I whimper and whine into a gag, thrusting my hips further and then pulling away, at the mixture of how sensitive she makes me but how fucking good it feels. Hers completely to use, tied up and quiet, keeping me spread even if I can’t cope because she loves watching me take all of her, soaking around her strap and the sheets

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I wont text her first, no matter how much I want to. im tired of running after people and them never returning the energy. it hurts my heart, my chest burns. I need a drink so I can wash away the pain

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we talked briefly and it started a fire within me. even as i try to keep the conversation going, to get her excited and to match my energy, she doesn't. what am I expecting? attention? from a woman who doesn't know or care for me? she thinks im funny, but most people find me funny. they come to me for a good laugh, but there's nothing else they want from me. she's like all the rest

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she stopped talking to me and I dont feel sick to my stomach. I finally won

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“why are you guys looking at me like that?”

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google show me strap harness peeking out of jeans google show me strap on harness peeking ou

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I have a crush and it makes me sick. I want to run away, block her, ignore her, forget about everything.

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I drank before work again. I feel so cold and lifeless but with the alcohol, it warms me just enough to get through the day. No one can know of this. To them, I'm joking, to the spirits, it is the truth.

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I do so much for my family and while I don't mind, it's so exhausting. from as long as I can remember, it's always be so tiresome trying to please everyone and be, well, perfect. and it only feels like I'm relevant to anyone is when I help them or when I went to school. now that I'm doing nothing and not even achieving anything, I'm no longer wanted. no one cares enough to support with my acting endeavors or writing stuff. growing up, no one cared to take me to see shows or put me in acting classes. my dad cared, cares. but he's so busy now that he can't worry about me and that hurts. my mom cares but she was always so busy with work and her stupid husband that she could never support me. I wonder if any of them truly believed/believe in me.

my nephew gets my mom's full attention. she puts so much effort into cultivating his sports and takes him to practice that it makes me, well, jealous. I was his age asking her to find me a soccer team but she never did. when I told her I wanted to do theatre, she told me to have a second major because acting isn't a sustainable job. I feel like I'm pushed to the side for everything and that, well, hurts. I'm praised when I take care of him but she groans when I talk about auditions.

am I only good because of what I do for others or for my own dreams?

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I'm afraid that I'll never fall in love and while I've come to terms with this, I do crave having my special person. whatever that means. someone I can just go to and rant, or lean on when I need comfort. even with a platonic relationship, I wish for that. but every time I get it, it always falls through. the other person leaving me with no explanation. I wonder, will I ever be enough for someone?

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sometimes I wonder if I have a romantic soulmate. if there's someone out there who will love me for me. I don't think I do and I'm a little okay with that

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I feel like a stranger in my friends and familys lives. I don't know anything, I'm never there, I don't reach out/can't bring myself to reach out. When I'm with friends, I always notice how much closer they are to each other than they are with me. It makes me realize how little I am in all of their lives. Even with the person I call my best friend, he doesn't even reach out to me. He forgets that I'm there, only texting and calling when it benefits him.

Is it because I'm not enough for anyone? Have I ever been enough for anyone? Will I ever be enough?

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do you ever feel the alcohol hitting you and think about how it warms you and how miss the warmth and comfort of another person