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[gallbladderrecovery]

First night

I just realized I seem really excited in all of my titles. I’ll admit that I’ve finally for sure turned the get better point. My pain in very minimal, and overall I’m just feeling better.

So! My first evening was very rough. Here’s all the what happened, what I should have dones, and what I did my first night post-op. 

If you haven’t read my other long-winded posts: I went to stay with my sister for the first two nights. I did have to go to a bedroom upstairs. My sister is married and has a 2 year old, 2 cats and 1 dog (corgi mix, so about that size). Full house, but she was probably the best option. I had originally thought I was going to stay with my parents, but I guess this was better...? I’m not sure how.

Now, truly the hardest part was wanting to do anything except drift in and out of sleep, but not being able to, and not wanting to move. Your body kind of gets settled into a place where you think, this is ok. I can manage this for a little bit, but don’t you dare more. I was prescribed hydrocodone-acetaminophen (generic Vicodin. I call it hydro-apap) and I don’t think it did as much as I wanted it to. Even when the drug was working, I was still in pain. I had previously taken this before when I had my wisdom teeth out and it kicked the pain right away. This didn’t do that. I’m also not one to regularly take pain meds. I’m not sure what the difference is. Learn from my mistake that I should have called the doctor/nurse stating I was still in a lot of pain. I also only took it for the first couple days. Mainly in the morning because, again, the first movements are hard, and in the evening so I could sleep better. The ibuprofen actually did way more for pain management, and that didn’t start until I got back to my own apartment.

So, I slowly, one step at a time, get upstairs and lay down on the bed. Painful. Again, the hydro-apap was not helping pain management well.  I was also still nauseated. Presumably this was from the anesthesia, but I can’t say that’s what it was. My mouth was still really dry because I wasn’t drinking because I was nauseated. There becomes this awful, delicate balance: I feel sick because of the meds, so I don’t want to eat, but if I don’t eat, I will continue to feel sick. I did end up vomiting once probably not long before going upstairs. I guess this is a hack, but I ended up grabbing the kitchen garbage can and putting it on top of the toilet so I wouldn’t have to bend over to vomit and put extra strain anywhere. Hack? I dunno. lol My sister didn’t appreciate that I vomited in her garbage can, but....oh well? Sorry, sister. I’ll buy you a new garbage can if you want.

The TL:DR read is I was up hourly/less than hourly. Each time I had to somehow psyche myself up to sit up and get out of bed. My sister and nephew sleep right next to the bathroom, so I felt really bad. I couldn’t bend over to close the toilet lid, so sometimes it would drop a bit. I was peeing out IV fluids, which IS a good thing because you need to pee. As I mentioned in my previous post, my period was also going on. Because I couldn’t have anything inserted, I was paranoid of making a mess. But, I’ll be real, it’s also very hard to reach after surgery because you’re so swollen and full of gas from the procedure. (My understanding is that they fill your body with CO2 so you don’t deflate and it makes the process easier, and probably better visibility on the camera, but I cannot verify how accurate that is). I’ll also be 100% blunt that I was a little paranoid of not being able to clean myself a bit after using the bathroom and I wondered why I didn’t try to set up the water bottle thing they do for new moms. Another fun bit is if the clothes you wear on your lower half fall off your knees, it’s a wonder to see how you’re going to pull your clothes back on. 

I am a side sleeper. I cannot get comfortable on my back well at all. After just over a week I’m getting at least a couple hours of sleep in a row. The gas pains were horrible. It was really depressing to have those gas pains that feel like a gallbladder attack without a GB. That was truly frustrating. So I’m trying to move around, but it hurts to move. I still feel sick to my stomach, but I still need a little bit of food to take my pills, etc. I would probably spend like an hour on the toilet each time I got up. Not just for the reasons you think though: yes, I had to pee. I had to keep a monitor on my period since I was entering that heavy day. It was actually more comfortable to be able to kind of lean back and brace myself against the toilet and tub. It would take me a really long time to take the pain meds because the oyster crackers were dry, as was my mouth from lack of fluid intake, and sometimes I would just sit there until the pain meds kicked in to be up again an hour or less later. I am an emotional wreck when I’m over tired. I mean genuinely sleep-deprived, what am I doing with my life, I want to cry because I just want to sleep emotional. I was actually a little bit afraid to cry because I didn’t want to put my stomach through that much if it was going to be a sob sort of cry. Every time I sat up I had to lay there and ask how I did it previously because the least amount of pain is straight up, but that just wasn’t possible without some sort of pull bar. I didn’t want to ask my sister to help me each hour. It was a very mentally exhausting night as well. I will say if the gas/GB pain is something you’ve dealt with before, you know how it is. Walking does help. 

What I should have done! First, I should have slept in the recliner. That would have been easier to get in and out of. The down side of that is the risk of the pets wanting to be nearby or my nephew finding me at 6am when I’m trying to sleep. Also, a bit of privacy is better. The other option: I own a wedge pillow for the reflux that I had never slept on. That *might* have also made things easier. In the end I didn’t want something extra to carry, but I should have brought that. To add a bit of humor, when I was looking online, I was very close to shopping on an adult site wondering if I would get it cheaper or for better quality. But this has made laying on the couch easier as well to have that back support. So I recommend a wedge pillow just for those sick days or something. My sister also literally gave me a sippy cup to sip at all night. As funny as it is, I would have done the same. I should have brought a water bottle. I did end up dropping it on the floor and post surgery is when you learn to grab everything below waist height with your feet. It’s also when you wonder if pants are really needed for the day. (Dresses for the win! Also dance gear. Bellydance pants - tribal/fusion/ATS styles - are where it’s at for comfort). 

And that was the first night. Always disclaimer, for some people they were back to normal the day after surgery. I had absolutely no pain from the oxygen tube, but one of my friends survived on tea because her throat was so sore. I probably would have been better had I confronted the pain management much earlier. Again, this is just my journey. My friend thought her throat pain was worse than the incisions and back to eating normally within 2 days. A week later I’m still reintroducing bland foods. Please do not compare your healing place to mine, but this can offer a little support as to what might happen, and if something did, you’re not alone.

[gallbladderrecovery]

Day of surgery!

I realized with my last post I probably should have put a break in. O well. Here’s what the day of the surgery was like. I’m likely to write a separate post about the first night because the first night was rough. I won’t lie about that.

So my surgery was scheduled at noon. This makes having no food or fluids before surgery not particularly easy. Luckily the nurse giving me some pre-op info said I had to have clear liquids after like 3 am and a hard stop on everything at 7-ish AM. That’s not so bad. Especially since I normally wake up at 5:30-6 for work. Per the normal I got up at like 5, took my omeprazole (ODT, so on water needed) I debated having a drink, but was doing ok. I never fell back asleep, which might have helped me. I was just really tired and everything felt surreal.

10 AM my dad picked me up, dropped off a bag with my sister (I would be staying with her for 2 days), visited with my mom and aunt for a little bit, went to the surgery center. Because of COVID, my dad was not allowed to stay in the building. Correction, he could stay in the office reception area with me until I went back, but couldn’t not go back with me. So he just dropped me off. I’ll be honest that I’m kind of glad the ones to see me wake up were medical staff only. If anyone I guess is curious, I was wearing loose-ish yoga pants, a tunic-style tank top, and a off the shoulder light sweatshirt over that. No bra because I wasn’t sure how high cut below the bust would be and I didn’t want anything causing problems. I was a little concerned about underwear because one of the incisions is at the belly button, and that’s where my pants sit. For the record, I did not have a single issue with that incision site. Glad I didn’t wear a bra because it would just be a pain. The incision under the bust is probably 2-3 finger widths below where my bra would sit, but you are swollen. So one less thing to worry about or put on while still having anesthesia wear off. 

Here’s where I’m going to start possibly discussing all the things you might not want to know, and that will include menstruation because yeah. Of course that started day of surgery. (Why not?) But this is also really key in part of my recovery too. I’m not at all ashamed of my body functioning the way that it is supposed to, but if it’s something that makes you uncomfortable, you won’t like me. :)

I get there, meet the nurse, meet everyone else, you have to confirmed with every single person why you’re there because surgery for the wrong things happen. This helps make sure you know the staff has the right person and that you actually know why you’re there. It’s still weird to say with every person I’m here to get rid of my gallbladder. 

My meeting with the anesthesiologist was interesting, but very assuring. I’ll tell you why: the only surgery I’ve ever had was to have my wisdom teeth removed. I was put under, but I woke up in the middle of it while they were drilling. That was scary. I also woke up absolutely sobbing after oral surgery not because I was in pain, but I tend to hold my stress in and sobbing is just one way I release that. This is also to reassure anyone who wakes up crying, that’s ok. The medical staff if used to it. The anesthesiologist assured me I would not wake up in the middle because I would be completely out just in case I had a little trauma from oral surgery. The anesthesia is different, but it was still something in the back of my head. She also confirmed that waking up and having a sort of let down of tears is normal. Please believe me it is. Especially if you’re a tension crier. lol I’m one of those that gets so angry I cry. Again, it’s not because I was in pain, but it was 100% just a release of tension. 

So because my period had started that day, I wasn’t too worried about bleeding all over the place, but I let the nurse know because you should always be upfront with the medical staff. The only down side was that I could not have anything inserted during surgery. It made sense. They just put some pads down under me just in case (and again, good to let the medical staff know just in case they see blood). The weird part was the solution was just to use one of those bulky bulky pads and just let my thighs hold it in place. Again. First day. Wasn’t worried, but whatever makes life easier on everyone.

I get the IV hooked up, chat with everyone some more. Yes, I’m here to have my GB removed, etc. That weird like air-filled blanket was so nice and warm. They start the IV and start to wheel me down the hall. I mention that it kind of stings, and I’m out before we get to the OR. 

Now for all the “fun” parts of post-op!

All the disclaimers: by no means do I wish to scare anyone. I had plenty of people tell me I’ll be fine within 3 days (not true), or the sore throat is worse than the incisions, I’ll be able to eat whatever I want within a day of surgery, etc. Please understand it’s still major surgery. They’re cutting through your abdominal muscles. It will take time to heal. Do NOT compare your healing to others. I had one friend run a half marathon 10 days after surgery, I had another friend not be able to eat much beyond bland foods for the first month or two. Again: DO NOT compare how you’re healing with others. Look for support, advice, but try not to get frustrated that day 5 post op you’re still in pain. It’s ok. It’s still major surgery. Take yourself to a limit or just before that limit, then stop. Check every now and then if that limit is more. Don’t punish yourself for not healing fast enough, well enough, etc. Just stop it. :)

I woke up from surgery. The whole surgery took about 40 minutes. I’m drifting in and out of sleep, but I’m nauseated as effffffff. My stomach also hurts and burns. Worst pain ever? I’m not sure, but it definitely hurt. I’m not sure if the first words I said were I’m nauseous, but it was pretty much one of the first things I was really aware of besides the pain. The nurse put an ice pack on my side, they gave me pain meds, but it didn’t really do what I wanted it to do. I was still in pain. I did end up crying a little. Not the giant sobs like after oral surgery. I also remember the nurse asking me if I knew someone named Kris while I was still waking up. Apparently she knew my aunt. I don’t have a common last name. One day I’ll remember to tell me aunt...oops. lol Aaaanyway. So I’m still in pain, I’m involuntarily shivering, and the nurse tells me that I should take the oral pain meds because it will last longer. Side note: I am absolutely horrible at taking pills. I can’t without food. If my brain knows there’s a pill I find it and half the time end up biting them. I’ve gotten better, but still. They give me a pill for pain, one of those little cans of ginger ale and saltines. My mouth is dry AF. My throat does not hurt (never did), but I’m a little dry and scratching from the oxygen tube. You cannot swallow saltines or similar crackers with NO moisture in your mouth. Don’t even try. But with a swish of ginger ale, it’s ok.  Still not the pain relief, but I did notice that the two little saltines did help with the nausea a bit.

Eventually the nurses switch, the surgeon comes in stating it was a success and good thing we got that GB out because it had a few stones in it (understatement I would later find, but I was also still feeling the anesthesia, so I understand keeping the conversation short and to the point lol), blah blah. Eventually the new nurse takes me for a small walk around the wing. That was painful. I swore a few times, but moving is necessary and it did help. It brought a little more color to my face. She was great. She kept reminding me, I have two hands and two arms. Use them. Once around the block was plenty for me, I did feel a little dizzy and nauseated, but again. As painful as it was, it was necessary to move. It continues to be necessary to move. I wake up more, my sister is called, she picks me up, we go get my drugs. My sister has all the discharge stuff, she’s supposed to make me get up every hour, no drugs until this time, etc. I was also just SO tired on top of being sore. I shuffle around the pharmacy slowly, look at my sister and say I’m going to vomit. It kinda scared the lady next to us, I saw the look on her face. Poor thing lol. I do not vomit, but we get my drugs and run into one family member in the parking lot. I did not want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to sit in a chair or lay in bed and not get up. 

We get home, my nephew is 2 and very mad he can’t sit in my lap. I’m pretty aware of my surroundings, I got up from the recliner a few times, I eat a few oyster crackers for dinner so I can take my pain meds, and eventually, and VERY slowly, go upstairs to bed. Yeah, that’s a separate post. lol I was ok as long as I wasn’t moving because you’re body gets stuck in this, as long as you don’t move we’ll make this work mode. But again, moving is important. 

I’ll post about my first night later. Again, this isn’t to scare people, but it’s what happened to me. As “easy” of a surgery this was, it’s still a road to healing. It’s still surgery. Multiple incision sites in your abdomen. Be kind to yourself. 

[gallbladderrecovery]

Welcome to my journey

I can’t sleep, so I figured I would start this. This will be long. I decided that I need to write about my gallbladder removal because I didn’t realize how unprepared I was. I’m definitely not talking about how I wasn’t aware it was surgery, and there would be pain and all that. It was SO much more emotional and frustrating than I was ready for.

A little background: I’m 37, female, very fair skin, and moderately overweight. I’m sure all of these things had factors, but I’m still waiting for my follow-up. I hope I get to ask how many stones I had.

I have a genuine curiosity about the human body and how it adapts to situations. I plan on being pretty straight forward about certain issues. I’m not necessarily shy about talking about what my body is doing (I think working in daycare with infants for 10 years really helps you care less about talking about human functions). Maybe also the massage therapy training? I dunno. The human body absolutely fascinates me, but not enough for me to want to take any sort of medical training. I have no desire to make people’s lives depend on me.(Fun side note: I was also trained as a doula and one of my favorite things was while attending a birth the midwife in training showed me the placenta.)

I had my gallbladder removed on 9/17/2020. I’m literally days outside of surgery. My excitement yesterday was that I could move enough to fake putting my socks on. It started with massive reflux I’ve been having for more than a year. Lots of trapped gas. Lots of PPIs, tums, SO much burpng, nausea from not burping, back pain, etc. I was a miserable soul. It would get to the point where it was affecting my breathing. I finally went and saw the doctor, she ordered an ultrasound, it’s mah gallbladder. I have my consultation. The surgeon was pretty cool. They basically said my GB was replaced with stones, but no obstruction .My supervisor knew I’d been having troubles, and she told me whatever they say, say yes. My former supervisor, who is my work brother at this point (I hate the term work husband), and also vaguely threatened me in the most positive way ever. lol I work with good people.

I had NO clue is was my GB. Full disclosure: I don’t take good care of myself. I was very much raised with the mindset you take care of everyone else first, then maybe you take care of yourself. I haven’t had a physical in years. I also struggle with depression, which is also not great at teaching you that you need to take care of yourself, along with some anxiety. All the things! lol So! I actually noticed that my gas pain (GB pains), were worse when I would skip meals. This is the point where I tell you do what I say, not what I did. Take care of yourself. Just do it. A gallbladder attack, from what I’ve read, can manifest in a few different ways, but here is mine: massive back pain behind the right shoulder blade. Lots of tension, sometimes the inability to burp. What I honestly thought it was for a long time was I just pissed off my stomach, and it was swollen and pushing hard against my back. It would usually only happen if I ate a lot of greasy foods way too late in the evening. Example: it would be game night with my family, and it would be chips and pop (I live in Minnesota, it’s pop here) until like 10pm. It became really frequent. I finally went in. This also means I’ve actually been having attacks for at least 10 years. Probably longer. NO idea!

That’s a good enough stop for the night. I’m hoping to sleep more than 3 hours at once