garrettheartcock - Tumblr blog

[garrettheartcock]

I don't know. I just...I know. I know that, I do. I know it wasn't...personal, or whatever. But he left. And that hurt like hell. And I just...maybe it's better if he doesn't remember at all. If I stay out of his life. Because I obviously didn't help last time.

Mom?

I know, sweetie. I know. But I think he loved you very much too. Depression and suicide are…fickle. It’s complicated and sometimes, someone isn’t thinking straight. It has nothing to do with how he felt about you. 

And you don’t have to give him another chance if you don’t want to. I understand getting hurt and being left behind. I do. But I think, if and when he remembers, you should hear him out before you decide on whether or not to give him another chance.

[garrettheartcock]

Mom, I loved him, and he left me. He left me behind. And I can't do that again. What if...what if he...I can't do it again.

Mom?

Honey…what he did…it’s complicated. But he didn’t leave you. It was never because of you or anything of that sort. 

[garrettheartcock]

Why should I? He left me.

Mom?

Okay. Why not?

[garrettheartcock]

Yeah, yeah. It's just...mom, I don't think I want to know him.

Mom?

It’s okay, sweetie. Your mom’s got a hell of “What To Do When Your Significant Other Doesn’t Remember You” list. Step one? Take a deep breath and calm down. It’s great that he’s back, and I know you’re excited to see him, but you don’t want to freak him out because the reality of it is…he doesn’t know you. So that takes us to Step Two. Get to know him. Pretend like you don’t know him either and get to know him and what he’s been up to in this life. This making any sense so far?

[garrettheartcock]

Sis, that's great! But what do you mean by asshole? Has he...said anything to you?

What bullshit.

There’s nothing to spill. Sort of. Okay, so there’s this guy and he’s really cute, really nice. Like, sometimes he’s an asshole, but he doesn’t mean it. At least, I don’t think he does. And by asshole, I just mean, he’s real about things. And I’m going out on a third date with him Friday night.

[garrettheartcock]

No, he doesn't remember. He doesn't remember anything. I don't know what to do.

Mom?

What? Oh my gosh! That’s great! I mean, that’s great, right? Did you talk to him? Does he remember?

[garrettheartcock]

What? Really? Me too! Maybe we'll have class together. I mean...or maybe not. But we could. Uh. Eggs? Eggs are good. Have some eggs. 

Wow, this city is big.

Right. Of course you are. I probably imagined it. I go to school on fifth. The community college. 

[garrettheartcock]

No. I'm just asking. You're pretty and smart and...you. I mean, you've got to be chasing them off with a stick, right? Not that you ever telll me about your dates. Come on, spilll.

What bullshit.

Who, me? What? Huh? Why? Did someone say something?

[garrettheartcock]

He's uh....mom, he's back. I ran into him yesterday. He's back.

Mom?

James? What about him, sweetie?

[garrettheartcock]

Thanks, Cas. I really hope....are you seeing anyone? 

What bullshit.

Just maybe James. Well, I’m rooting for you, bro. I hope it happens. You two were great together.

[garrettheartcock]

Oh gosh, mom, no, it's not something like that! It's...oh, ew. No. Um, it's about James. 

Mom?

Sweetie, you can always talk to me about anything. Even about a prostate exam or something. I’d probably recommend that you talk to your father for that one, but I’m all ears. So, what’s up?

[garrettheartcock]

Can we uh...can we talk about something? I don't know what to...or who to...urgh.

Mom?

Garrett! Hi. 

[garrettheartcock]

Right. I hope so. I mean, mom and dad get to see each other again. Grandma needs to see Gramps again. I uh....no on in particular justmaybeJames.

What bullshit.

It’s probably not. I mean, Uncle Jack came back. And I’m sure Gramps is gonna come back soon. He has to. 

So…who are you thinking of that could possibly come back?

[garrettheartcock]

Mom?

[garrettheartcock]

Right. Right. I know that. I'm sorry. It's just...people coming back from the dead, it's crazy right? What if, you know, it's not just mom and dad?

What bullshit.

I don’t think that’s fair. I’m sure they care. I mean, it’s mom and dad. They just have a way of making you care about them. I feel it. Of course I feel it.

[garrettheartcock]

Nervous? I'm not nervous. Do I seem nervous? Because I'm not. I'm fine. I'm cool. Oh, what school?

Wow, this city is big.

You always this nervous? Or am I giving off some sort of crazy axe murderer vibe here? I’m going to school here. College, I mean. 

[garrettheartcock]

Maybe they don't care anymore. Or they just can't bother feeling it again? I don't know. Do you feel it? I feel it.

What bullshit.

Yeah. Yes, it’s weird. But everyone else is doing it so casually. Like, were you not aware that our parents died?