gasolineanecdotes-blog

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An assortment of ‘apartment’ plots I need:

The walls are paper thin and…

The walls are paper thin and I can always hear you having sex and honestly idk if i’m more jealous because i’m not getting any or irritated because it’s keeping me up at night?

The walls are paper thin and you’re always singing in the shower, and honestly you’re terrible but idk how to tell you, so I’ve just started to play music over you but you seem to know every song and it only makes you sing louder??

The walls are paper thin and you just heard the brutal break up of me and my ex, and now you’re trying to comfort me through the walls and it’s kinda awkward but it’s also helping so?

The walls are paper thin and every night I watch jeopardy and I guess you’re really smart because every night you shout out the correct answer and at this point I’m not sure there’s a question you can’t answer?

The walls are paper thin and I hear you having obnoxious parties every night, and I would be mad but at the end of it all I can hear you crying yourself to sleep and i’m actually kind of worried about this lifestyle you’re living?

The walls are paper thin and i’m not even really sure how it started but every night we have conversations about our day over dinner and at this point idk why I haven’t just invited you over? 

You broke into my apartment… (also works the other way around)

You were drunk and you broke into my apartment and I would call the cops but you’re kind of out like a light so I’d kind of feel bad but you bet your ass i’ll be waiting for you to wake up until morning so I can ask who the fuck you are?

You were drunk and you broke into my apartment and when you found out this wasn’t your friend’s apartment you started crying and I really don’t know what to do?

You were drunk and you climbed in through my apartment window and I’m not really sure how you managed it because not only is the fire escape broken but you are really fucking plastered? Please, teach me your skills?

You broke into my apartment to avoid something and you won’t really tell me what it is and i’m actually kind of afraid you might be a murderer so why shouldn’t I call the cops?

You snuck into my apartment to avoid your ex while my door was open for groceries and I got so scared I spilled the milk everywhere?

You broke into my apartment while I was out for whatever reason and when I came home I knocked you out and now you’re unconscious on my floor and idk what to do?

We always see each other in the elevator…

We always see each other in the elevator during our walk of shame and it’s gotten to the point where we just share our escapades now and why haven’t we slept together yet?

We always see each other in the elevator and it’s inanely awkward because we both live on the top floor of this really tall apartment complex and we always ride in silence because the one time I tried talking to you I fucked up REALLY bad.

We always see each other in the elevator and now we’ve gotten stuck because of a power outage so really, I guess we should get to know one another at this point.

We always see each other in the elevator and it’s blatantly obvious you’re terrified of them even if you insist you aren’t.

We always see each other in the elevator and I know it’s you who didn’t hold the elevator the one time I was carrying something really heavy and I swear, I will get my revenge.

[gasolineanecdotes-blog]

     whomst the fuck gonna rp on discord w/ me

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You spent your whole life leaving, so you look at his feet instead of his lips when he tells you he loves you. Because when your whole world is leaving or waiting, the only four-letter word you know for love is “Stay.”

Excerpt: Nomads –/.w.m.w. (via thoughtsforbees)

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ship with me you cowards

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more texts for you bitches

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

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Interview the Muse

- What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames.

- When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time?

- What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too?

- What is your earliest memory that you can remember?

- Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural?

- How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends?

- How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average?

- Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch?

- Were you in any cliques?

- Best childhood memory you can recall?

- Worst childhood memory you can recall?

- Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today

- What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught?

- Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend?

- Are you a virgin?

- Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids?

- Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want?

- Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent?

- How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic?

- Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit?

- Have you ever been badly injured before?

- What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death?

- How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's?

- Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia?

- What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick?

- Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for?

- Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened?

- Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do?

- Are you happy with your current job?

- Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do?

- Most dangerous thing you have ever done?

- Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person?

- What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare?

- What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself?

- How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task?

- Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end?

- When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list?

- Top three things on your wishlist?

- Currently, what is something you want but do not need?

- Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for?

- What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it?

- What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue?

- What would you describe your style of clothing as?

- Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can.

- Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork?

- Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music?

- Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite?

- What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is?

- What are your top three favorite colors?

- What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all?

- What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)?

- Can you cook at all?

- What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy?

- What is your favorite fruit and vegetable?

- What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat?

- What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst?

- Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors?

- Describe your sense of humor.

- What is one thing you are justly proud of?

- Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service?

- What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?

- What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone?

- Share the latest entry in your diary/journal.

- What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all?

- Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike.

- FREE QUESTION

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     there's only one thing that can make her smile

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how do you feel about michael david wheeler the man who runs the egret tours marina settlement with the beard and the freckles and the hat and the eyes, acadia

     "And what the fuck is that supposed to mean? He's just some-- some guy. It's not like I      care about some blond-haired, blue-eyed, dweeby handyman boy scout. Why the hell are      you even asking? Have you been watching me? I swear to god, if you've been following      me, I will throw some rounds with you--"

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mojavecyclops:

He hadn’t paid any mind to the other merc near until his tolerance bit him in the ass. Usually he didn’t mind being beat to the punch but only if times were fat enough and if the winner wasn’t a shit about it, neither was the case so when the woman attempted to muscle her way to his prize, his own hand flung out to snatch hers by the wrist as the rest of him moved to contest the poster.

“I don’t think so.”

He would find that the bones of her wrist were unusually rigid-- like steel cables strung beneath her flesh. Her shrewd eye focused on the man who dared to touch her, and a notification flashed across her vision: a friendly warning from her benevolent A.I. overlord.

     //Heart rate elevating. Combat unadvisable; financial acquisition is not our primary      mission, Acadia.//

She ignored the message, glaring at the other cyclops-- and slamming her unobstructed hand down on the piece of paper, holding it flat to the board.

     "And I don't give a fuck what you think. Especially since I reckon you've only got two brain      cells to think it with. Now, if you wanna keep that hand, you'd better take it off me."

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Ask my character "How do you feel about ______?" Can be an idea, person(s), place, or thing, and they'll have to answer honestly.

Ⓦ

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     "I dunno, big guy-- could've sworn I heard a little tremor in your voice just now."

With that said, she rolls her shoulders in a careless shrug, turning away from him to face down the long corridor to their left.

     "Could be something important down there. You really wanna pass that up on account of      a little cold feet?"

@gasolineanecdotes 💀 starter call    

his mouth curves into an offended sneer. “bwah! strong not scared, little lady!” a cautious glance to the left, super sledge locked between hands. “strong just… want to go.” 

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five-word sentences.

“ please just let me forget. ”

“ c'mon try to guess what. ”

“ just leave me alone already. ”

“ no, i’m not going to. ”

“ you can’t change my mind. ”

“ my mind is made up. ”

“ i’m not gonna let you. ”

“ don’t do that to me. ”

“ think about what you’re doing. ”

“ why aren’t you listening now? ”

“ i want to sleep forever. ”

“ you need to leave now. ”

“ i’ll always have your back. ”

“ now there’s no going back. ”

“ the view really is spectacular. ”

“ i didn’t think you’d care. ”

“ why can’t you trust me? ”

“ don’t even bother with clothes. ”

“ i don’t love you anymore. ”

“ i am a great person. ”

“ you are a tolerable drunk. ”

“ exactly, why are you awake? ”

“ i’m gonna ignore you now. ”

“ how is that not hilarious? ”

“ please just calm down now. ” 

“ i was already calm, asshole. ”

“ i can see your underwear. ”

“ i’m afraid you’ll replace me. ”

“ please stop losing your temper. ”

“ you can cry if needed. ”

“ you have to run away. ”

“ i just wanna be yours. ”

“ ashes, we all fall down. ”

“ i’m hoping you’ll understand me. ”

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     me? disappear for two weeks with no warning? I would never--

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🍸 The thicc'est dick?

For a moment, Acadia is silent. It's clear from the way her shoulders are heaving, the way she's holding her free hand over a suddenly reddening face, that she's been struck with a fit of drunken giggling. She's practically snorting, like a Midwest pig at the food trough, and finally she manages to break through her own laughter by slamming her fist down upon the table.

     "... Y'-- Y'know what they say. 'Bout Super Mutants. You know? Once you go green, chéri!"

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💎

     "The thick ass scores him some initial points-- and in the event of an emergency, can be      used as an airbag or floatation device-- but he's too much of an overgrown boy scout for      my taste. And his personal eating habits should be considered crimes against humanity.      Three out of ten, and I'm being generous."

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send me a 💎 and my muse will rate your muse’s physical appearance on a scale of 1-10

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buttons - sia

can’t you see that i’m losing my marbles 

it’s marvelous losing another,

losing another