gavinparished

[gavinparished]

Distorted Memories.

On a roll after dropping Long Nights, what's my next move? Well, another album of course! This time I did a mix of things to get this ball rolling. I had In Another Life set, but I also had all those experimental leftovers still. So what did I do? I took a break from the more poppy music and decided to get freaky with it.

As previously stated, Distorted Memories is a mixtape of old music I had laying around that I wanted to work on and released. Old stuff from typhon that never worked out, my own older songs that I didn't finish, and a lot of new stuff too in reality. It's about half half, but we'll start with the older half.

Glitch In The System, Grind, Judgments and New Me were sitting on my hard drive for years. This project started almost as a full typhon collab record but it evolved as time passed. These songs made the cut. Glitch In The System is the intro for obvious reasons, I used it to experiment with vocals and lyric writing. To good effect, if I may say so myself. Grind was a fun song I just wanted to do, I hit Saia up for the feature after he showed interested because why not, right? Judgments I sent directly to Gery Houjay. I know him through an in person friend and he was just starting out his career. This song was the closest I had to something he'd like at the time so I sent him 3 beats, he picked this one, did his bit and I finished the track. New Me was simple. I hit up a douchebag rapper for a feature but decided to do it myself because I was too broke to pay for the feature at the time. Thank God for that because his whole internet crew tried to get me shunned from the community at one point but it didn't work then. It's a shame they're doing so well now but that's how the cookie crumbles.

Now, i said I have some older songs here. That's only half true. I talked about What Am I To You? with Akenna in my post about 2019-2020. This song went through a lot of versions but I put this version together to highlight her beautiful vocals. I used that to try and write some poetic lyrics myself. I'm quite fond of this song. However Need A Fix is a relatively new song. Produced in 2021 as a type beat for YouTube, I went back to this one after hearing all the other tracks on here, it was very fitting so I took it. I sent it to Alma for a hook and he delivered, then to try and get Tendo out of retirement I sent it to him and he replied with a banger verse. It's unfortunate he's inactive again. He's a great artist.

However I have two songs I want to quickly do too. One is the last one produced by me, Little Alchemy with AJE SMD. This one's story is quite funny actually. AJE SMD released an entire album that he apparently just didn't ever get permission to use the beats for. So he hit me up about it, saying he feels horrible and would pay me. I told him that's not necessary and I'm just very happy to hear how much he loved my beat and that he came to me now before I found out. We agreed that he'd just update his album to add my verse and call it a day. However he never did that and started ghosting me like an asshole so I took it as a single and released it in January before attaching it so this album. He was kinda douchey about not making it work out as I'd wanted it to, especially considering he stole my beat, but whatever. Life isn't as nice as we wish it was most of the time.

The next song is a Long Nights leftover. Memories, produced by hadrrien, also made it's way here. Originally I wanted BVNK$ to do a verse on here, which he agreeed to, for Long Nights but it ended up not working out because his situation took his recording equipment away. A close producer friend of mine loves this track however so I'm still grateful I could keep this instrumental and give it a new life. I'll link Long Nights below for anybody curious in that, you can see how it was made in a previous post of mine too.

Now, from this point forward we're getting to the newer songs on the album. I'll talk about them in order from "least" important to the future to most.

Lost is a solid track. blank thought engineered both Long Nights and Distorted Memories so it was only inevitable that we'd cross paths properly musically as well. I liked rapping on his boom bap production a lot, it was super easy. He works closely with Zim so I thought hey fuck it and just messaged him about being on it too, which worked out and he gave me a banger performance back. This is one of my favorites from the album.

Next is Dread. I have worked with all these guys multiple times by now and will release multiple tracks with each of them in the future. I bought some beats from klwn cat a while back. After all the updates to In Another Life and my self titled album I decided to toss this one in here, as it didn't really fit anywhere else anymore. I did my verse a while before the album was even an idea and I loved it. I wasn't sure who to send it to but sent it Alma's way after he tweeted about doing features fast, this is honestly how he became my go to guy to send tracks to because he gave this great verse back to me same day. Unbelievable talent. Next is Departure. I really just tweeted that I needed a feature done and he replied then I sent it his way and he delieved. He's a great rapper, one of the best artists in the scene really, so I'm happy to have built this relationship up.

The second to last track is Jazzy Freestyle. I'm sure you've asked yourself by now "hey, what makes this one more important than a track produced by klwn cat`?" Which is a good question considering my size as an artist vs his. Well, it's by Riley Harper. I've known Riley since she started producing. She just randomly heard my Supervillain Theme beat when I was sending it to Denzel, DM'd me she liked it then we talked some and since then I've been there for her whole producer career. It's been very special to witness, especially considering how fast she's improved. She's amazing. We went through a few discussions on how she'll release music but decided that this would be a teaser to whatever she does. First I was gonna executive producer an album for her, helping get features, doing features, helping pick what beats to use, all that. But that fell through cause of how busy she is. So I decided, after finishing Distorted Memories and my next two albums after that, that I'd start a proper collab album with her. I'm a fan of collab albums and she was done so that's my next job after my album with Karma. That makes this song the first teaser. Vocally I'm honestly mixed but it was very fun writing and it's a good teaser into the future.

Lastly we have Peggy Freestyle. Honestly? I don't love what I did here, I wish I did it better. But it's here because it's produced by my current engineer, future collaborator, Zain Soliman. Zain engineered my last 2 released albums and In Another Life and I'm more than happy with him doing all this for me. He's amazing. His producing is fantastic and he blessed me with a pack of it which I took this from. This calls back to earlier too whenIDK Young J was dissing me. It was him I was talking about getting on New Me before he was a douche to me, so I used this song to throw shots at Havana which is also why I wish it was better. But that's on me for rushing this album a bit.

To be fully transparent with you all, this album isn't what I wanted it to be. I should've taken more time, polished it more, but I rushed it out so it'd drop before Back Home on my birthday and I could have my aesthetic set up the way I wanted it to. That worked out but some of these songs and the album as a whole suffered a bit from it. I learned a lot from that. I think about it often whenever I go into a new process. The difference between fast creating and rushing is a thin line but I learned to navigate it with my next album.

A piece of advice to end this, don't rush your art. Let it be what it should be, give it the time it needs. It's your baby so take care of it like it is. But sometimes your baby needs a little push to to learn how to walk. Do what feels right, art is about feeling after all. You can give this album a listen with the link below. Songs like Little Alchemy, Dread, Lost and New Me are all 100% worth a listen, give the whole album a try if you like those!

[gavinparished]

Long Nights, Gavin Parished x hadrrien

So here it is, my big comeback album. What's the story behind this one? Well it's almost as long and complicated as the last post so buckle up.

I mentioned meeting hadrrien at the same time as all my other collaborators, how'd that happen? We met each other on the same site and I just loved what he did so I hit him up and he let me use all his beats for free, would even send me exclusives. Meeting him and loving his style is a big part of what destroyed the album though honestly. But once I realized how great his lofi music was it was all over.

I also mentioned GB being pulled ahead in my explaination last post due to my creative process, why was that? Well, because between GB and Kickin Rocks came Valentine's Day and Cover Blown, my first two tracks produced by hadrrien. These started my new album and were the nail in the coffin for that era which is why I decided to keep those instrumentals by the other producers in the vault and dump mine as a beat tape EP. This however wasn't the start of Long Nights, it was the true start of In Another Life. In Another Life was originally my self titled album. It featured these 2 songs hadrrien did along with some others that made it to our 2 albums. From my side it featured songs from most the beats I uploaded to YouTube at the time as type beats. I was also considering using april leaves remix for the album if I could get it cleared. But once my vision started getting tighter all of this changed. I'll link We Fall Again and April Leaves Remix here, because they've found their home as singles between albums.

To understand what's coming we have to go back to my work with $alem. We met in 2018 and made our EP together, however shortly after that she introduced me to YungLo$t$oul and we 3 formed the group Underground Rapture. Eventually we branched out BROCKHAMPTON style and had a large group. Our members included us 3 of course, Lil Drewy, DressedInDior (now BenzoSaint), sleepyjoss (now effigy body / become burried), Keola, BVNK$ and at the end hadrrien. Two other members were also added but I'm leaving out their names due to offensive remarks being made about indigenous peoples. They don't even deserve attention. After they were kicked $alem greenlit me adding hadrrien to the group which is why Long Nights became an album. I created it as a tribute album because when the group was founded we were all making music together. We were making a mixtape. Keola & Drewy even did their own full mixtape and BVNK$ was featuring on BenzoSaint songs. Stuff was working out but time got to us and we all drifted off into our own direction. It was unfortunate.

I then quickly did my next single, Wasted Time, which featured UR member Lil Drewy. The plan was to keep going like this and I'd put together my own mixtape, featuring all the artists from the album. Ruby produced the intro, I took the song from her SoundCloud because it fit perfectly with the beat and recently she didn't have a laptop to produce. However getting more features became difficult. I had originally sent multiple tracks to everybody but nothing worked out for one reason or another. Keola and YungLo$t$oul just didn't get back to me really, BenzoSaint moved on to making a different type of music, BVNK$ couldn't properly record. It sucked. So I took what I had and made this first record. The intro with $alem is covered, I kept it as a tribute to UR. The three singles open the album then I added two very personal songs to me. Love You From Afar and Don't Let It Rain are two of my favorite songs I've ever made and both will always be very special to me. Caving In was a miracle, I'm very happy become buried replied to me and we made this happen. This track is a fan favorite. Silence is the outro and it was honestly a bit rushed on my part because it was originally a longer album but that's how it goes sometimes. I finished the album! It wasn't much of a tribute to Underground Rapture considering the situation but it was my first album in 4 years so I didn't mind too much.

This album was a great way for me to come back. The lofi style, truly being able to put my heart into these beats while also getting hadrrien out there. It was perfect and I'm very happy I made the choice to just finish it instead of dragging it out again, I'm also happy about that considering we ended up doing another album with those remains that some would say is even better than this one. But I'll talk about those songs, who was meant to be on them and how I got the new features once I get to it. For now, you should check out Long Nights! It's a stand out in my catalog and it features one of my favorite 3 track runs in my entire discography. You can give it a listen with the link below.

To end this section off I will add that this album breaking off of In Another Life only helped improve it. All songs, mainly the 3 favorites I mentioned in the end, were all in the running to be on that record but putting them into their own body of work really made me able to hone in and make that album so much more better while giving these songs the space they needed to breath. You can check out In Another Life here too, presave for now, it drops June 28th, 2025. One of my strongest albums yet, if not the best.

[gavinparished]

Gp Music 2019-2021

Alright, so this is the first complicated phase. I wanted to start a new album with all I was doing with collaborators from RepostExchange at the time. So I did my best to hop right to it. I met KarmaTheGXD, typhon, hadrrien, Akenna and another rapper I'll call TTR for short this way.

I met TTR first, I sent him the last 2 beats for The Rez Life Be Like but decided to use them myself to finish off my album. He introduced my to Akenna, a singer, and then I produced Love V1, which made it to my GB EP, for them and me. Eventually I had a falling out with TTR so this track never came out as it was supposed to, he never even recorded vocals for me sadly. But Akenna did and they were stunning. I ended up using them on What Am I To You? from Distorted Memories. For future context, a lot of the album I was working on at this time became stuff for either the GB EP or Distorted Memories.

Another short reference is to my SoundCloud exclusive song Future G.O.A.T. Rapper. It's a remix which is why it's only up there. This rapper, an X wannabe really, I was cool with at the time wanted to collab and sent me that beat. I sent him the verse back after he sent me that beat asking for a feature but he never got back to me on it. Eventually he said he scrapped his song so I just edited my porition to work alone and dropped it. Fuck that guy tbh, he was never really a true supporter and never had a bone of originality in his body either. No hard feelings though I guess.

My first relationship was with KarmaTheGXD, so that's where I'll start. Due to me not being able to work at the time, he decided we'd split revenue on our songs together once I could do that. I agreed and his first gift to me was the beat for Thank You For Fighting. It was the first track I ended up writing for myself after my previous mixtape. It sounded great! He mixed it and gave my voice all these spacey sound effects. I just wish I had a better recording method and more confidence sooner.

We later ended up doing Kickin Rocks together. In my opinion this song has a lot less problems as far as recording sound and confidence in myself goes. I still listen to this song from time to time. It's one of my first tracks where I knew I was finally making progress. The lofi feel of the instrumental, the catchy hook with the effect yet simple verses, the spacey feeling of it all. That's exactly what I wanted to do.

I suppose the next chronological release would be my CF EP, which started as 2 tracks I produced. The first is illusions of happiness, just an instrumental I wanted to use as an interlude. I love this track and when I try to sell my older music to people this is one of the highlights they always mentioned. The two halves of the song, the transition period, the full change in vibe as it so simply switches. It's great honestly. LEVELS, which I created with $alem, is a whole different vibe. She provided me with most of the loops, then I did my best to build a track with it all. I love the outro specifically. I tried my best to really keep the loops entertaining but have more come in each loop around until the end. I think it was amateur work but there's some charm in it. This was the last time I'd properly work with $alem sadly. More on that to come in the future. The link below is to the EP with the song telephone calls included, my next single. It's a rap song produced by typhon.

SO, I've mentioned this a few times but this album was going to be a bit of a fusion between Karma's spacey style, typhon's industrial edge and my own classic inspired beats. I'll talk about what I did with typhon next. A few songs ended up getting made and released. telephone calls was the only one released at the time. The harsher, industrial feel added on to the sound I was going for and worked as a good transitional period between my songs and the one's produced by Karma which is why I wanted to make the album this way.

But this album didn't end up happening, there's actually 4 years between The Rez Life Be Like and my next album. Why's that? Life got in the way. I started going to school and learning German in the pandemic. Really that's how this run started with Thank You For Fighting. The fact that I made any songs at all in the advance school I was in plus my hours learning German is really outstanding, I just couldn't give it up. I didn't really. Once my classmates discovered my music they started making fun of me, it started bothering me less as I got better.

But since this album was scrapped, what happened to it's pieces? My songs I produced in this time went into the GB EP mostly. Everything on there was produced in the sessions for this album besides Heavy Pixels which was a throwaway from 2017-2019, not sure when exactly. But you can listen to those here. I like the production here. I tried learning trap with stuff like Double Kill and WTF LMAO, the latter being my favorite of the two due to it keeping that special edge that made it me. Love Interlude was my expansion and experimentaion with Love V1 after I couldn't write any verses on it I was happy with but I love the Love V1 instrumental with all my heart. Hearing Akenna's vocals on it, sadly not avaliable for you all, just warms my heart. Rumble is also a closer I had such a fun time making. Production-wise it's a highlight of my whole discography.

All 4 of the songs typhon produced on Distorted Memories were leftovers from this era. It was really gonna have a side A and B, with typhon doing the B side mostly with me mixed in. Glitch In The System was the intro there too meanwhile the other songs were just mixed in. I was writing Judgments at the time but hated the lyrics so I scrapped it. As far as my contributions to Distorted Memories from this era go, you can hear Akenna's vocals on my synth work on What Am I To You? A gorgeous, spokenword inspired song I did my best to put together with the pieces I had left of all the songs I made with those synths. You can hear that album here. I'll post more about it once I get to that point as well. And one last thing before I leave this section behind, Rehab Interlude from my upcoming album In Another Life was also from this era. It survived the longest and is my favorite song I've done with typhon yet.

This era honestly ends with Kickin Rocks, GB and Distorted Memories just got dragged into this because of what happened with them. Now I'm sure you're wondering what happened with the Karma instrumentals I was working with? I still have them. He sent me at least 100 beats as I was working on this. Currently, I have over 20 of them selected and am putting together a Madvillainy inspired album with them. I'm doing my best to create a forward-thinking, sound of the future version of that album. I will say it's not true that there won't be no hooks at all, but my pen game has gone up big time since these songs so I'm coming at these on a whole new level. I'm going at this process a bit diffferently than normally so I'm not sure how long it'll take but I'm doing my best to finish it within a year from now, I've already written multiple songs and gotten multiple features back. Big things are coming. Oh, and if you can't wait for that I also have 2 songs he produced and one he featured on for my upcoming album, In Another Life. End Of The Road is the outro he so beautifully produced while Mind Games is our hit that we both feature on. I'll link the now presave, later lead to DSPs, link here for people to listen in the future. I'm on a roll and I don't plan to stop any time soon. See you all there, thank you for the love on these posts so far, it means the world to me.

[gavinparished]

The Rez Life Be Like

So, here it is. My true debut, vocals and everything. But this project has the most complicated release schedule by far, almost everything being released beforehand. Starting in 2018 at home and ending when I was forced to move to Austria a year later. Let me walk you through it with all the information I still have of it.

The first single: i hate me, and you should too. I made this while I was still finishing the instrumentals for The Wandering Minds EP. It's my second track ever to feature vocals, the first one was called Sometimes and is sadly lost for good. I lost it a while back after deleting and and the file for it is also gone since it was in 2018 and since then I've gotten new computers, hard drives, etc. But alas, this is a good song to count as a debut single for my voice. By this time I had already spoken in videos so I didn't make a big deal about it, but this is the only song of this era I did finish a music video for. The simple beat was inspired by guys like XXXTENTACION, specifically his older, more "experimental" stuff, hence the heavy effects on my vocals. Later, the interlude FEAR got added as just a piece of the song when I added it to streaming services. You can watch the music video below.

Second comes the song In The End. This track was produced after XXXTENTACION past away and it was specifically inspired by his songs Never and The Fall. I titled it In The End as a tribute to Chester Bennington of Linkin Park and XXXTENTACION. They were, at the time, my two biggest influences in music and their deaths were also a big part of why I decided to make a career out of the music I was making. The way their music had helped me and in many ways still continues to bring me joy, help me through bad moments, and much much more. I went for X's style but the track lyrically ended up being about my partner at the time. If I remember correctly we were struggling, as 15 year old lovers do, and what does an artist do besides write of their muse? I wrote about her, and even when it was negative she was never upset. She understood and even encouraged me to write about it and talk it out. I can't express how really emotionally intelligent that was for someone our age and I'm eternally grateful I learned that's how it should be so young. It made my art as unique as it was. Her encouragement is why I wasn't scared to just make alt music like this.

Lost, Finding The Way is the next song I realeased from the album. I remember recording this one in my mom's trailer home. I was in her room recording early morning as everyone else slept. It was interesting. Producing this instrumental was also fun for me. I remember just doing my best to place the strums in the correct positions and going back and forth on kick patterns I wanted. Can you guess what this track was about? Yes, I felt lost. I wasn't sure where life was going really but honestly I had no idea what was in store for me in the next few months. This song is also one of the only ones to have the original still avaliable, so I'll post it below.

Now we have THE VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD. This track was super fun to produce too but the vocals really don't hold up for me. Honestly not much of it really does, it's just about me feeling like I'm going crazy. Which is why I made it after the previous song. That's how I felt, like I was crazy. But I don't want to linger on this one really, this one is boring and can be lost to time as far as I'm concerned.

INTERMISSION: RUN!. So, what does this mean? The only single released in between these tracks is RUN!, a diss track to some online rapper I interacted with at the time. I hate this song tho, this is probably my worst song. I like the synths I guess but lazy drum loop, bad vocals, bad lyrics. This is the worst one. But we all have our duds. Just wanted to say to Josh The Author that I did this at 15, I'm not mad about whatever I was then because SHOCKER, it was almost 10 years ago. So yk, move on. (I say this because I interacted with who might be the same guy and he was lowkey passive aggressive but fuck it we ball).

And now we're back on track with Don't Go Pt 2. Why did I make a part 2? To add vocals. This song started as the original Don't Go but I ended up changing some suttle aspects to give it some more life as I rap on it. Nothing too special about the instrumental that Don't Go already is but I like both a lot. I'm telling you guys now, this isn't the end of this series and a new Don't Go, a higher level version, will be coming soon, just stay tuned. But generally, these are tribute tracks. A necessary addition to my discography considering all the people I've lost.

Now it's time for a more fun song tho. That same boom-bap inspired styles comes to life in The Nerdy Rez Kid Freestyle. This song was just me trying to write fun bars. I did my best, writing about all my special interests like Godzilla and Kong while also doing my best to flow like some of my favorite rappers at the time. Specifically like X, Ski Mask The Slump God & Denzel Curry. This song was made for an associate of mine, KarmaTheGXD. We had just recently met online through RepostExchange and we wanted to collab, he wanted me to show him what I could do bar-wise considering that my songs til this point haven't really been about the bars. So I dropped this beat, wrote this track and uploaded it. He liked it so we started working on some stuff that I'll get to later. As I write this post, my next album is dropping within the week with contributions from him. I'll keep it a secret for you all here, but I'm also working on an album full of beats he's sent me over the years. Lots of stuff that honestly fits in right now despite it mostly being sent to me in the 2020-2021 time range. More on that later. This song also has an original cover art avaliable, another treat for you all!

So, now we're in my big info drop era. A lot has happened which is why there are 4 months between the releases of these songs. However, this is the last "single" before I decided to finish up and fuse all these tracks, plus 3 more, into a mixtape. So sit back, grab a snack and prepare yourself for my whole life story.

Where was I when I started dropping these songs? i hate me, and you should too came out as my summer break ended in 2018, I was going into ninth grade. Fresh off my vacation to Austria to visit my family, ready to come home and see my people again, I was more than prepared to start the year off with a bang. The songs just came out as they came to me, however that was until January the following year when The Nerdy Rez Kid Freestyle came out. January was rough. I lived with my grandma my whole life. For the very short period I lived with my mom as a young child I'd still visit my grandparents in their respective homes, they were split up. But since I was 4 my grandma more or less became my mom. So at the time I was living with her, my two brothers, our uncle and her partner, JH. JH was a great man, but he had passed away in August of 2018 and that really did a number on us. My grandpa, as previously mentioned, has also been dead since December of 2016 so really we were just getting used to it all. We had just moved into his house that I inherited from him too so at least that was all over. But it only got worse. My grandma had been sick since December 2016 too, at the time she fell into a coma but she managed to wake up and survive. She was sadly never really healthy after that, just deteriorating in front of our eyes for the following 2 years. She died in Feburary 2019, not even a month after her mother finally passed away in her late 90s. This was a family shattering blow. I'll keep this bit short but till my dad could make it to us we stayed with my mom (for context, she wasn't around a while but had come back in the last few years, my brothers share a dad but not with me and he's not in the picture. So my dad came back and we did our best to get my affairs in order. Storing all our stuff, getting my brothers moved in with my grandma's sister who promised to look after us. However, a different fate awaited me. I had to go with my dad to Austria. I didn't want to, but I did. To be fully honesty with you, I still have no idea if it was the best choice but now, 6 and a half years later, I still live here so I guess I must have did something right. But now I was stuck here, no language abilites after losing more or less my entire family and being taken away from the rest. I had to give up my education back home, all my friends, my girlfriend. It was one of the worst periods of my life.

Now we get to the last single, questions love can't answer. This song was me writting out my frustration with all of this. The fact that it all hurt me and my relationship so deeply. At the time I wanted to wait with my partner, move back as soon as I turned 18 and start our life like we had dreamed. But that didn't happen and that's okay. We both seem to be doing well and doing what we dreamt of so there's no harm done. My raw emotions and wanting to rant are why I kept this instrumental so soft and bare boned. So people would really feel the emotion behind it. After this era of my life was over this song never really sonically felt special to me, but recently it blew up after being used in some TikToks in Turkey and it's not probably the most streamed song period on this album on the big platforms. Funny how things work out.

Now we get to the last 3 additions to the album. I added Don't Go to fill the space between Lost, Finding The Way and Don't Go Pt 2 on the album. That was draft one. I originally branded it as THE 15 YEAR WAR even back before my final single. I was at war with myself in many ways, in many more with the world around me. So I did my little edgy "write on my hands" bit, made a cover and called it a day.

Due to moving I decided to expand this project though, turning it into The Rez Life Be Like as a final closing on my life there for the moment. A way I could link people here to my life there. In this phase I added the FEAR interlude to the end of i hate me, and you should too. The interlude of the guitar strums starting at the start start of THE VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD was also added in this phase and as the album was updated with the next singles I also changed the cover art to something more fitting.

Now, I'm finally at this album's end. The Rez Life Be Like and Gavin's Story were added. I made these 2 songs more or less at the same time. Bouncing between them after I finished producing both the beats. It was a fun process. I wanted to give the album a more hiphop feel considering it's the direction I planned to go in the future. So I did what I do best here. Got some weird sample loops, added some raw drums ass drums and some hard basslines and called it a day. The title track was just me ranting and Gavin's Story was me doing my best to tell a story in third person before the end reveal that it's mine. Honestly nothing too special lyrically, but I could see myself improving since I started writing rap lyrics.

The album finally was officially done, a 10 song tracklist with a lot of variety. I was very proud of myself at the time for what I achieved. Honestly? I am now too all things considered. There's obvious a lot I'd change and how I go about making albums now is very different but I'm proud of myself for just sticking with what I wanted to do and making a project I could say was really me. It ended up getting one remix on the vocals. Some new mixes, some new recordings. But otherwise it remained more or less untouched. When I finally was able to send it to DSPs I gave it a new, higher quality and honestly better fitting album cover too.

I never thought of it back then, but eventually, of course once most these files were gone, I thought it'd be great to upload the instrumentals to all my tracks too. So I did my best to hunt down and edit what I could. It's clear to see in the upload dates of the instrumentals on YouTube. Eventually I got them all and sent them all to streaming. If you want to thank somebody for these, some not exactly how they are on the album I know, thank Tyler The Creator. His "Album + Insturmentals" format is exactly why I did this and plan to release all my instrumentals alongside the songs in the future. The ones I actually produced anyway.

As of June, 2025 this album is on all DSPs with the instrumentals included and I couldn't be happier. Do I think really any of it has stood the test of time? Kinda. I do still throw on some of the beats every once in a while but the other, more experimental tracks aren't for me anymore. But I do still see they get listeners every once in a while which is exactly why I keep them up. They are for someone else what those old X songs were for me, and I think that's very special.

You can find this record anywhere with the link below. I wouldn't really recommend it now to be completely honest but if you insist then I'd say i hate me, and you should too, The Nerdy Rez Kid Freestyle and Don't Go Pt 2 have held up the best, Don't Go as well but I count that more as a highlight of The Beats Inside My Head. STREAM THE ALBUM WITH THE LINK BELOW:

[gavinparished]

It's unbelievable that these two support me so much, they're really been here for my entire online career more or less and I don't know where I'd be without them and their support. They're the first people to ever donate to or buy my art, they've supported me to pursue my dreams from day one when even I was scared and even now they stand here by my side, ready to do anything. There's times they really were my only supporters and I can't thank either of them enough, even my life wouldn't give them the gratitude I truly hold for them. Support them and their posts in any way you can to because without them I wouldn't be here like this either.

The Beats Inside My Head

Hi! I'm going to run through my discography and add some details for you. This is my debut project, a 7 song mixtape I produced while I was coping with my grandfather's death. Before this I was making mashups on Soundtrap and learning how to to dubstep on Music Maker Jam. Originally, I was going to title these tracks after lines and give the project a different artwork but due to the events I changed up all of that. I'm sure why is understandable. There's not much to say here really sadly besides that this is a unique mix of electronic music and instrumental hiphop with an ambient feel to some of the sounds. It was fun learning to produce like this and I'd recommend Don't Go and Come Back.

However I will say it was a big change for me to release this project. At the time, I was working on being a YouTuber with one of my best friends, Daryan. We don't talk too much anymore but he designed the Gp on my first official piece of merchandise technically. It's not released or anything but I have it on in promo shots. I was making content about my interests at the time. Playing Minecraft, making custom Bionicles and giving them storylines, editing Pokemon AMVs, writing sketches, all the classic stuff. Unfortunately almost all of it is gone. One big collaboration AMV is still released, which I helped direct and edit for. It was a fun time but I decided to switch to music cause it became my biggest calling. I then proceded to delete all of my old videos, which honestly thinking back is heartbreaking. Were they cringe? 100%. Do I still want them up? Yes. Why? Well, it shows growth. Think, one day I'll be a bigger artist than I maybe ever imagined. If those videos were up, people from all over the world could see my true start, look at it then look at me then and say "hey, I'll try it!" Which is exactly why to this day I keep up my entire discography, unlike most annoying underground rappers who delete almost everything previously once a song blows up. There are a few AMV leftovers that I decided to keep up because I hadn't fully deleted them, check them out here!

But that's enough of that for now. In a way this album was me starting a legacy. I picked a sound, a style I liked and went for it. It really is easy to tell through this record alone what makes me different to the pears I surround myself with now. You can hear the DNA that is this album in my modern music, albeit way more defined and quality controlled. All I've done is improve in the last 8 years. Honestly typing that out just horrified me, I've been a content creator for a decade, around half my life, and a musician specifically for most of that too. It's crazy to think about but I like going back and listening to older records sometimes. Reminds me of where I came from.

With the above link you can listen to this tape. It's a swift listen, right around 18 and a half minutes. It's worth trying out, I still let some of the songs play when I listen to them. I want to shout out my grandfather too to end this. In a way I feel his death made me who I am, including the artist part of me. So I want to thank him for that, and may he rest in peace. I see him in my visions but honestly? I think about seeing him in the next place every single day.

[gavinparished]

Gavin Parished x $alem - The Beats Inside My Head

So, here it is! My second project all together is also a first in a way, my first collaboration project. For context, this is an updated cover for DSPs, it has all the original pieces but since then we've both had name changes. I was going by Gavin Burtscher at the time, yes simply my legal name. I decided to change it to Gavin Parished a while later, because I don't want to know what it'd be like being a white-passing person named Burtscher trying to be an underground rapper. However, at this time it was even worse. My name was GBX, thank God I didn't keep that one. It was taken actually which is what motivated me to switch. $alem is a great name for that style of production honestly but at the time she was going by 2can. I honestly don't remember why she changed it but I prefer the newer name as well.

So, how did this record come about? If I remember corerctly, this album came out in 2018 so my memory is a bit foggy on it, $alem messaged me because she liked the songs I had out at the time. All I had released by then was a now lost single titled Sometimes and my first album, The Beats Inside My Head. After a lot of talking about how we'd do this we decided, after creating 2 of the 3 collab tracks, to just take our own songs and mix them in. So the project would become a rule of 3: 3 of her songs, 3 of mine and 3 collaboration songs. We both thought it seemed like a cool project so she attached 3 of her previously released songs, one of the most recent at the time, and I attached 2 I had made during the summer with Don't Go serving as the album outro. During the summer the two songs I made for this were Lost In Space and Unknown Temptation (along with my own single "i hate me, and you should too" which I'll get back to later).

Lost In Space was a very large song. I spent weeks on it. It was inspired by my electronic and dubstep roots in the music creation field along with the trap music I was currently into. It's the most complex song on the album, switching up every few bars so the beat is always unique sounding.

Unknown Temptation was my tribute to XXXTENTACION, as it had been finished a few weeks after he had passed away. It was finished before Lost In Space but came out after, I saved it to release with the album. This is the more "me" sounding song of my songs on the project. The weird synths, hard hitting drums, freaky loops. This is the DNA I kept as I grew. I made this song as a tribute to him because he inspired me a lot as an artist, despite all the rotten things he did as a person. I remember when he passed away, I was sitting in my room on vacation in Austria, visiting my family with my dad. His and Chester Bennington's deaths were, at the time, the only celebrity deaths that really effected me and honestly? Without X, there wouldn't be the same Gp standing here today. But you'll hear a lot more of that in my next album.

Before I get to Ruby's contributions I want to add that currently only our collab songs and my singles are up on DSPs, but this post inspired me to message her about getting her songs up and making it a whole again. However, if you'd like to hear it in it's original form, you can listen to the whole thing on SoundCloud, with links to both our profiles, below.

So, as far as her contributions go. The intro track, 10 kills g, was new at the time and I knew it had to be the intro. It got a rerelease and slight edit as the album dropped. Cocaine and Xaxax were her already released editions. We decided on those 2 after just talking about what the album is and what I'm doing creatively. They fit so we went with them. There's sadly not much more to tell here.

But now we have it, the 3 collaboration tracks. How'd they happen? Well, we made coffin first, which samples some Lil Peep interview clips. After making that beat around it we decided to go with that concept for all the tracks and sample artists we're inspired by. Ruby chose the artists and I did a lot of the lifting on the producion side. She was the lead on the first listed collaboration, Let Me Elevate Your Mind. She picked out the song and the voice clips while I did minimal editing. However, I did my best to work with what we had for graveyard robbers with the BONE$ and $UICIDEBOY$ clips. It fits her sound a lot more and honestly you can tell we were both amatuers at the time but that's part of the charm of these old projects, right? It was fun putting these together and eventually this lead to something a lot bigger that I'll get to down the road. You can listen to these tracks, as well as my 3, on Spotify. Here's the link to the 3 collaboration tracks.

So, the album is done! 10 kills g, Unknown Temptation, Let Me Elevate Your Mind and graveyard robbers were here, fresh to the public. And people liked it. It was nice. Honestly it was the last time for a long time that people in my life actually liked my music which felt great. Another album done, on to the next. During the creation of this record I was creating my debut hiphop mixtape, this time with vocals! This tape inspired how I went about producing a lot on there and my history wouldn't be the same without this cool project. Thank you to Ruby for reaching out for me and making The Wandering Minds happen. Sadly she doesn't produce much anymore but hey, maybe I can get her out and about again to do a lil sequel to this. I'll leave with this, show her SoundCloud some love! She's a really nice person and deserves it all.

[gavinparished]

The Beats Inside My Head

Hi! I'm going to run through my discography and add some details for you. This is my debut project, a 7 song mixtape I produced while I was coping with my grandfather's death. Before this I was making mashups on Soundtrap and learning how to to dubstep on Music Maker Jam. Originally, I was going to title these tracks after lines and give the project a different artwork but due to the events I changed up all of that. I'm sure why is understandable. There's not much to say here really sadly besides that this is a unique mix of electronic music and instrumental hiphop with an ambient feel to some of the sounds. It was fun learning to produce like this and I'd recommend Don't Go and Come Back.

However I will say it was a big change for me to release this project. At the time, I was working on being a YouTuber with one of my best friends, Daryan. We don't talk too much anymore but he designed the Gp on my first official piece of merchandise technically. It's not released or anything but I have it on in promo shots. I was making content about my interests at the time. Playing Minecraft, making custom Bionicles and giving them storylines, editing Pokemon AMVs, writing sketches, all the classic stuff. Unfortunately almost all of it is gone. One big collaboration AMV is still released, which I helped direct and edit for. It was a fun time but I decided to switch to music cause it became my biggest calling. I then proceded to delete all of my old videos, which honestly thinking back is heartbreaking. Were they cringe? 100%. Do I still want them up? Yes. Why? Well, it shows growth. Think, one day I'll be a bigger artist than I maybe ever imagined. If those videos were up, people from all over the world could see my true start, look at it then look at me then and say "hey, I'll try it!" Which is exactly why to this day I keep up my entire discography, unlike most annoying underground rappers who delete almost everything previously once a song blows up. There are a few AMV leftovers that I decided to keep up because I hadn't fully deleted them, check them out here!

But that's enough of that for now. In a way this album was me starting a legacy. I picked a sound, a style I liked and went for it. It really is easy to tell through this record alone what makes me different to the pears I surround myself with now. You can hear the DNA that is this album in my modern music, albeit way more defined and quality controlled. All I've done is improve in the last 8 years. Honestly typing that out just horrified me, I've been a content creator for a decade, around half my life, and a musician specifically for most of that too. It's crazy to think about but I like going back and listening to older records sometimes. Reminds me of where I came from.

With the above link you can listen to this tape. It's a swift listen, right around 18 and a half minutes. It's worth trying out, I still let some of the songs play when I listen to them. I want to shout out my grandfather too to end this. In a way I feel his death made me who I am, including the artist part of me. So I want to thank him for that, and may he rest in peace. I see him in my visions but honestly? I think about seeing him in the next place every single day.