gayer-things

[gayer-things]

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

my commission from the endlessly wonderful @tadpole-apocalypse! HAPPY VALENTINES TO ME... and also my Durge Lilith and her hot vampire boyfriend Astarion.

I love this so much it has made me WRITE for the first time in an age, so here, before I can think better of it, is a little story about these two.

...

Reading Aloud

The quilt is warm, and soft, and emerald green, like the shirt Lilith found.  It might be one of Jaheira’s, come to think of it, although if the old Harper has any objection to Lilith wearing it she hasn’t said so.  There’s all manner of stuff lying around at Last Light Inn, and they’re all making do the best they can.

It was Gale who found the bookshelves, tucked away in one of the fancier rooms.  He was loudly disappointed by the lack of scholarly tomes, and the rest of them had pointed out that Last Light was an Inn, by all the gods, and he grumbled and huffed about it in a way that looked likely to turn into a lecture, so Lilith had grabbed the nearest title and said “What’s this one?” to Astarion.

Astarion had cast a desultory eye over the title, before his eyes widened.  “It’s… it says it’s The Life and Times of Mallory Mortimer.  Oh, I’ve read this!”  He had taken the book from her, opening it eagerly, then stopped, and let it dangle from his fingertips as if about to drop it.  “Terribly dull, you know I really can’t bear poetry, and epic poetry is absolutely the worst.”

“Well.  In that case, I suppose I wouldn’t mind a look,” said Gale. Astarion had snatched it away from the wizard’s outstretched hands instinctively.

The pair of them had glared at each other for a moment, Shadowheart rolling her eyes behind them.

“Would you read it to me, Astarion?” asked Lilith.  “I don’t remember if I’ve ever heard poetry before.”

“Wonderful idea,” said Shadowheart, grasping Gale by the shoulders and steering him towards the other end of the shelves. “There might be something more intellectual over here, why don’t we have a look?”

–

And so Lilith finds herself now, hiding in a dark corner of the Inn’s upper rooms, wrapped in a shabby quilt that feels like the height of luxury in their current surroundings.  Astarion is reading the book aloud, and Lilith leans back in his arms, listening.

He isn’t, in all honesty, very good.  He keeps trying to do character voices that don’t really land, and he declaims every line with such drama that there’s nowhere for the story to go when really dramatic things do happen.  But his voice is beautiful nonetheless, and Lilith looks up at how animated his expression is, and loves him.  Not that she is ready to say so, not quite yet.

Astarion pauses as he turns the page.  

“He didn’t let us read, you know,” he says suddenly.  “No escape.  Not even in our imaginations.”  His body has gone tense behind her with the memory.

“Is that why you read so much in camp?”

“I suppose so.  It feels… rebellious.  Even just ridiculous stories like this.  There were books everywhere in the palace, all of them off limits.  But he can’t stop me now.”

Lilith shifts against him, half-turning to look at his face properly: the hard set of his mouth, the crease between his brows.  “We’re going to kill him,” she reminds Astarion.

“Yes,” he says, and takes a great shuddering breath.  “Yes.  Now, where was I?  Ah, of course…”

Lilith isn’t troubled by constant, horrible memories herself.  She doesn’t remember anything from before at all, except glimpses, now and then, though none of them are happy ones.  Her brain is so utterly ruined that she can barely read for herself, but listening to Astarion, she wonders.  

Did she read before?  The story has her captivated, despite the performance, and it can’t all be the lilt of his voice.  She has the vaguest, foggiest recollection of a library, in a dark cave, lit with blood-red lamps.  Who on earth would have put a library in such a place?  

She leans back again, reaching an arm up behind her head to get comfortable, listening to how Mallory finally outwitted the Evil Professor, and lets herself stop asking questions for once.  She’s glad Gale found the bookshelf.  She’s glad of this moment, in the midst of all they are going through.

[gayer-things]

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.

[gayer-things]

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

[gayer-things]

Hey if you’re schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that you’re a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.

[gayer-things]

oh, god forbid a woman have hobbies, right?

[gayer-things]

YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE!!!!!! YOU BRING JOY INTO THEIR LIVES!!!!!!!!!! YOU MAKE THEM HAPPY JUST BY EXISTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU POSITIVELY EVEN WHEN YOURE NOT WITH THEM!!!!!!!!! PEOPLE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gayer-things]

Fibre crafts are 50% soothing repetitive action and 50% "God Fucking Damnit"

[gayer-things]

Unmute !

[gayer-things]

The angle of this screenshot makes me SO happy. In game every body type is the same height, but in my heart I know Lilith is 5'4" and tiny compared to nearly everyone else, so the fact she managed to find a hole to stand in here is just perfect.

[gayer-things]

Lilith's run is nearly over and I am have EMOSHUNS about it. I have half a dozen playthroughs now but this girl is MY GIRL. I'm lov her.

Mean feral cat man lov her also. SOB.

[gayer-things]

Me: This is my baby girl

Them: that’s a pathetic bleeding mentally unstable adult man

[gayer-things]

it's kind of crazy climate change has occurred at such a remarkable pace that I and everyone else around my age can remember a completely different climate in our childhoods. I truly watched winter gradually disappear in my life.

[gayer-things]

can anyone find me that mesopotamian clay tablet telling you to marry a party girl because she'll bring you joy

[gayer-things]

yesterday I sarcastically made up the tech company names "Trimble" and "Plinq" and then to my horror discovered that both actually exist

[gayer-things]

Yeeeahhh we didn't go with option 3. Kind of these vibes:

(She told Petras to talk, or burn)

[gayer-things]