gazedivine

[gazedivine]

🐶🐈

ASK  MEMES  →  details  about  ocs!

🐶 DOG FACE — does your oc have any pets?

❛  nope!  ❜ he says, the word ending with a very felt pop. ❛  could you imagine me having to be responsible for, like... another actual living creature?  ❜

🐈 CAT — does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

❛  y'know what they say about the more the merrier, baby!  ❜

[gazedivine]

❤️💔

ASK  MEMES  →  details  about  ocs!

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

❛  y'mean i can wax poetic about myself here?  but i'm restricted to only three things? damn, and i thought we could stay here all day! ❜ laughter punctuates their remark, before a more thoughtful look crosses their face, though only briefly. ❛  well, i'm handsome — that's for sure the very top of the list — and rich and successful and... oh, is that three already? ask me this again next time around for three more off the list.  ❜

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

❛  okay, i don't like this game anymore.  ❜ he scowls, but there's still that smile on his face, very clearly still regarding this as a joke. ❛  i've been told that i'm forgetful, careless, and definitely and always far too much... which i'm told is a bad thing, so sure let's go with that!  ❜

[gazedivine]

details about ocs!

send an emoji/description of emoji to learn more about a writer's oc! many of these are taken from my munday asks meme, because i thought it would be fun to make a version for characters too! the prompts are categorized by emoji type and given descriptions in case anyone can't see the symbols. can be used for roleplayers and any general writers alike! for roleplayers, these can also be used for your interpretations of canon characters if you so desire as well!

𝐎𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒. 💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — what is your oc's MBTI, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/interested in)? 🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars? ✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person? 🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies? 💍 RING — does your oc have any piercings? do they want any (more) piercings? 🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos? 📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)? 🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)? 🩹 ADHESIVE BANDAGE — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities? 🩸 DROP OF BLOOD — what is your oc's blood type?

𝐒𝐘𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐒. 🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often? 💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know. 💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits? 🔱 TRIDENT EMBLEM — can your oc swim? do they enjoy swimming? 🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons? 🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise? 🚫 PROHIBITED — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄. 🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use? 🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday? 🐶 DOG FACE — does your oc have any pets? 🐈 CAT — does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends? 🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal? 🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature? 🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND — what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school? 🌴 PALM TREE — does your oc have a green thumb? do they enjoy gardening? 🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒. ❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits? 🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits? 💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits? 💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them? 🧡 ORANGE HEART — does your oc tend to prioritize family or friends? 💛 YELLOW HEART — how many languages does your oc speak? what language(s) are they learning, if any? 💚 GREEN HEART — does your oc prefer being inside or outside? 💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world? 💜 PURPLE HEART — what is your oc's ancestry/genetic background? 🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒. 🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE — when is your oc's birthday? how old are they? what are their sun, moon, & rising signs (if known)? what about their tarot card, ruling planet, & ruling number (if known)? do they fit the typical traits of these sun, moon, & rising signs? 🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)? 🍰 SHORTCAKE — what is/are your oc's favorite sweet(s)/dessert(s)? 🍦 SOFT ICE CREAM — what is/are your oc's favorite ice cream flavor(s)? 🍔 HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer? 🥯 BAGEL — what does your oc's typical breakfast look like? do they usually eat breakfast? 🥪 SANDWICH — what does your oc's typical lunch look like? do they usually eat lunch? 🍛 CURRY AND RICE — what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner? 🍸 COCKTAIL GLASS — what is your oc's favorite alcoholic drink, if they can drink? ☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)?

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄. 😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life? 😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved? 🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms? 🧐 FACE WITH MONOCLE — is your oc more logical or emotional? 🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy? 🤩 FACE WITH STARRY EYES — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions? 😥 SAD BUT RELIEVED FACE — is your oc prone to getting stressed out, or is it easy for them to keep their cool? 😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge? 😞 DISAPPOINTED FACE — does your oc attract others, or do they tend to be left alone? 🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily? 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

[gazedivine]

with august loverson (  @augustxxloverson  ) at  sweetbean

truth be told, rohan doesn't know what he's doing: a slip of a statement dropped carelessly — the other man's apparently only been in austin for six months, to which rohan had at first responded with a rather far too even oh — and before they know it, they're texting the other man telling an open invitation for rohan to show him around. an attempt at playing the good samaritan, perhaps, or maybe they're really just too much of a bleeding heart: either way, they find themself rushing through the doors of sweetbean in a too-ungodly hour for a saturday morning, so used to being late that even when they're on time, they feel the need to apologise. ❛  heya?  ❜ they greet as they come near the table occupied by the other, voice sounding unsure. they look at their wrist, realise they'd forgotten their watch in their haste, take out their phone to check the time, remember that there's a clock in the wall, turn their head there, remember too that they'd already taken out their phone, and look at it once more: a whole song and dance of too anxious energy that had nowhere else to go. ❛  sorry if i'm late,  ❜ he says to punctuate the whole ritual, even though he isn't. ❛  how much of austin have you seen anyways? six months ain't a lot, for sure, but i don't want to lead you 'round the same ten places everybody else already told you to go to.  ❜

[gazedivine]

with nicolas rivers (  @rcknic  ) at  grind

for once, they're not going to the gym to work out: they've already accomplished their daily run that morning, and while rohan could always just go again, there's something else on his mind that's more important than his gains... which is the fact that there's this hot underground rave he keeps hearing about featuring some dj from hungary — really mysterious, really eclectic — that just so happens to be tonight. everything about it was just so rohan's shit, so of course he's gonna go. and since sharing is caring, their feet leads them to the gym, if only because rohan thinks nicolas might actually kill them if they even unintentionally gatekept this. ❛  hey, hey!  ❜ he greets as he bursts through the door of the owner's office. ❛  clear your plans for tonight,  ❜ they immediately follow up, making themselves comfortable in the space. ❛  and please tell me you've got something else other than the gym clothes i constantly see you wear, because we're gonna be going to a rave and the vibe there's gonna be more like better-than-you berghain chic rather than overworked texan gym rat.  ❜ not that, of course, there's anything wrong with being an overworked texan gym rat: rohan, after all, very much is one himself.

[gazedivine]

with @gcbes at  corked

for the first time in what seemed like a long while ( read: three days ) rohan's finally going out for purposes other than business. whilst corked was one of those places he's got on the shortlist for event venues, the wedding planner's not above mixing pleasure with business — despite all the warning signs telling him not to — and so has plopped down onto the wine bar ready to get some glasses in before going home and crying his heart out watching udaan for the umpteenth time. ❛  and what does the ever entrepreneurial owner recommend?  ❜ they ask, by way of greeting. ❛  i unfortunately have no client as a living wallet to pay for me right now, so auto-pass on the super marked-up shit. ❜

[gazedivine]

❛  tall and scary and angry at the fact that i got this banging jacket instead of 'em,  ❜  rohan says, sounding very much like a child before he pauses, thinks it over, then adds: ❛  and they're wearing what i'm willing to bet on is the most atrocious outfit you've ever seen in your life.  ❜  they sidle a bit to the side when josie tries to hide alongside them... although, truth be told, she's probably already given them away by her loud reaction, but it's not like rohan had done a good job disappearing amongst the sea of lace thus far, considering how she spotted them too easily. ❛  regardless, i hope your own shopping experience so far's been less stressful than mine?  ❜ they ask, tone-of-voice very much a stage-whisper.

josie  couldn't  help  but  chuckle  softly  to  herself  at  rohan's  words,  her  eyes  sparkling  with  amusement  as  she  leaned  in  closer  to  him  amidst  the  rack.  "  oh  my  god,  what  did  they  look  like?  "  she  she  gasped  a  lot  louder  than  she  meant  to,  a  sheepish  grin  playing  on  her  lips  as  she  watched  a  sea  of  heads  turn  there  way.  "  sorry  -  i  mean,  what  did  they  look  like?  "she  repeated,  in  a  hushed  tone,  sinking  into  the  rack  next  to  them  and  quickly  peaking  her  head  out  to  see  if  anyone  was  still  looking  their  direction.

[gazedivine]

with aki sasaki (  @dstrsed  ) at  salt box

they're finishing up a meal when they see him, post-dinner with a client who wanted to check out the location for an intimate get-together. rohan doesn't usually do intimate — most of the images on their deck are all grandiose stagings for larger-than-life events — but versatility's the name of the game, and rohan's always gunned for the top. the client liked it well enough, and promised to get in touch soon about their final thoughts, so rohan let them go their own merry way and ordered a bottle of wine to celebrate... which is when they see the very well-timed — and very fortunate, considering he had a friend like rohan constantly patronise his business, in rohan's very humble opinion — owner of the restaurant. unbidden, rohan's already raising his hand, calling the other over, pointing to the empty seat in front of him, and motioning for the other to sit down. ❛  aki! we need to celebrate!  ❜ he exclaims, trying to make himself heard above the background chatter of the place. ❛  i may have just given you good business. ❜

[gazedivine]

with  @ophxlxa  at   groovy garden

they enter like a bull in a china shop: ❛  don't laugh,  ❜ is what leaves his mouth first, although his full attention is focused wholly on his phone. ❛  some rich asshole forgot their first wedding anniversary,  ❜ they continue, shrugging their shoulders as if to say men, right? even though they themself are one. ❛ now he's texting me last-minute wanting some kind of cutesy recreation of the wedding — obviously way more low-key — but i've lost their details and am forced to rely on ig pics.  ❜ they scowl, because of course they could scrounge up decks from weddings a decade ago when they were just starting out but the one that took place a year ago is nowhere to be found. ❛  how are you with identifying flowers from a pic?  ❜ they ask, thumb still scrolling through photos, trying to find the right image that might actually be helpful for the task at hand.

[gazedivine]

with  @ephemer4ls  at   her   door

think about things for a minute,  a part of their brain tells them.  just go and do it already,  another part says.  a million thoughts blaze through the canvas of the night sky like fiery comets,  and they’re laughing,  almost howling:  a wolf let loose in the streets of austin,  knocking on a door they haven’t knocked on for a long while.  they haven’t even rung her up to check if she’s home tonight,  assumes with all the confidence of a man who’s always gotten his way that she’s just going to be there for him  —  and if not,  then... too bad:  there are other doors,  there are other people.  maybe they can bother a client.  miss rawal certainly has no qualms calling him after work hours,  so he reckons he has the right to do the same to her, if it comes to that.

but  —  as always,  forever  —  he’s getting ahead of himself.  rohan brushes off imaginary dust from his clothes:  a futile effort,  since he always makes sure he’s almost always presentable,  and he claps his hands together,  before knocking furiously at the door,  their other hand ringing the doorbell.   ❛  aspen,  ❜  they call out,  their voice in a sing-song tone.  ❛  oh,  aspen;  oh,  aspen!  ❜  he adds,  stepping backwards,  looking for any sign through the window of someone coming to the door.  ❛  what light through yonder window breaks!  ❜  they declaim,  their voice ringing loud in the late hour, arm reaching out for the door like some knockoff desi wannabe romeo.

[gazedivine]

rohan's confused. they got the email alert from the online shop telling them that their package has been delivered, but all they've found are — well, some packages, but not the packages actually promised. so now there's a bunch of shit on their floor ( all gaudy neon jackets and frilly dresses and matching salt-and-pepper shakers themed after sea animals and throw pillows with nicolas cage's face on it ) but not a single sight of the bridal catalogue that they actually need.

and now he's thinking: did i buy all this shit, or was i visited by the hoarder fairy godmother? because they don't remember buying any of it — and they're not sure if they should blame the late-night drinking, or maybe just their own self. recently, a friend of a friend linked them to a browser extension that completely makes certain sites off-limits, and they're thinking maybe they need to intall it already because there's this frightening possibility that they ordered all this stone-cold sober.

then the doorbell rings. rohan takes time out from this almost self-aggrandising show of self-demeaning self-pity and answer the door to find... their neighbour, already handing them what they've been looking for and rohan lets out a very loud sigh of relief.  ❛  you just saved me from a doomspiral that would have led me to a three-day bender,  ❜  rohan announces, in a manner that's not entirely clear if he's joking or not. ❛  the doomspiral i'm thankful for having done away with,  ❜ they say, opening the door wider, displaying the very proud state of his hallway and a bit of his living room with all sorts of rubbish strewn across the floor. ❛  but now i think you owe me for the three-day bender,  ❜ they add, and they might be joking or they might be not, but they lean on the door and arch up an eyebrow at the sound of the word congratulations. ❛  and thanks,  ❜ they say, for lack of anything else to say, completely misunderstanding what the other means. ❛  business keeps being good, so —  ❜ they punctuate their remark with a carefree shrug. ❛  care for some coffee?  ❜ they offer, a bit awkward.

Closed starter for Rohan Wadhwani ( @gazedivine ) Location: Outside Rohan's front door

There were very few earthly possessions that followed Elliot from Amarillo to Austin. After winning the lottery he'd essentially packed up his old life and stuck it in a storage unit to be sorted through at a later date. All of his things reminded him of his ex. He'd moved into that apartment with her and only knew life with her and thus all of his things had her presence wrapped around them. No it was mentally way less costly to abandon it all. He had the money to replace everything he had or could ever want and he was doing just that in Austin. That meant that a sea of deliveries were constantly at Elliot's door since he moved into his new residence. From clothes to furniture to flat screen TVs had all graced his porch in the process of furnishing his home. Elliot was in a constant state of ordering things, waiting for deliveries, or unboxing something. Today a tidy little stack of packages was placed at his door and he went to work opening them immediately.

That was when he opened up a stack of... bridal catalogues? He only knew what they were because his ex had gotten some when she was still happy to be engaged to him. The memory stung for a second before being overcome by confusion mostly. What on earth had he bought that prompted him to be sent bridal catalogues? Upon further examination Elliot realized it hadn't been his name on the label but his next door neighbor's. Good. Elliot had somewhere to deliver them instead of throwing them directly in the trash like he wanted.

Leaving his home momentarily Elliot walked over to the porch not even thirty feet from him and knocked on their door. Fortunately they opened and Elliot greeted them with the open package. "Hey there, sorry they mixed up our mail again and I didn't realize until I opened it," he said handing the stack of booklets to him. "Congratulations," Elliot added. He didn't know much about his neighbor and hadn't seen any partners coming in and out but that only meant Elliot wasn't nosey and prying into the romantic affairs of others.

[gazedivine]

they're by the rack filled with lace and ruffles when they hear a familiar voice come up almost behind them. they raise their finger, about to shush the other, but the greeting's out of her mouth and that makes them push themselves further into the mountain of fabric. ❛  you've given my hiding location away,  ❜  he accuses — as much as he can accuse someone while whispering, furtive glances sent this way and that. ❛  i almost got into a fight with someone over this jacket,  ❜ they confess, ❛  ran away with it when they weren't looking — but i'm not entirely sure they left the store just yet.  ❜

* / [ closed starter. ]

𝐰𝐡𝐨 : .. josie & rohan ! @gazedivine 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 : … thrift store

josie  sifted  through  a  rack  of  vintage  blouses,  her  eyes  lighting  up  as  she  found  a  white  laced  camisole,  hidden  among  the  rows  of  clothing.  as  she  reached  out  to  inspect  it  closer,  she  heard  a  familiar  voice  behind  her.  "  rohan?   "  she  thought  aloud,  turning  in  the  suspected  direction,  her  surprise  giving  way  to  a  warm  smile  as  she  spotted  them  browsing  nearby.  "  hey!  what  are  you  doing  here?  "

[gazedivine]

loud sounds,  bright lights:  they’re precisely where they need to be,  their shoulders bumping shoulders,  breathing in air breathed out by other people;  lost in a sea of faces,  it’s like their own’s melting,  has been melted off  —  but that might just be whatever they got from that kiss a while ago.  a vision in neon fluttering close to him,  buzzing about in his ear,  asking  wanna have the best time of your life?  and rohan thought they meant something else when they meant another thing altogether:  crashing their mouth into his when he nodded,  something being pushed on his tongue,  something dissolving,  and he doesn’t know what it is and didn’t think to ask and didn’t care to ask.  it’s been half an hour since then or maybe half a millennium:  they’ve been on this dance floor for ages,  and it feels like they’ve just stepped onto it.  when they’re not clenching their jaw,  they’re spilling their thoughts like water  —  not that anybody’s listening to him over the bass,  that rhythm,  that ringing and ringing and—

he feels it in his body:  the ringing.  it’s almost incredible,  the way the music reverberates across his body,  and he closes his eyes and simply feels it until he realises after a second that feels like an eon that the vibration isn’t syncing up to the beat,  that it’s not thrumming across the whole span of his flesh but just in that singular area where his heart is,  and he thinks:  that’s it,  i’m going to die.  he thinks:  all these years,  and i’m still thinking it.  he thinks:  you are thirty-six years old and you’re still cringe as hell.  he thinks:  who thought up that last bit?  he thinks:  it’s taking me a long time to die.  he realises:  there’s a weight to the vibration,  a solidity outside of himself,  and he puts his hand on his heart,  and he realises,  a bit slowly,  that there’s this device called a phone made by guys much smarter than him and it’s the reason for all his problems.

he sees the caller id,  and it’s like reflexes kick in:  he’s already been vibing off to the side all this time,  so walking even farther to where the sounds become so soft that he might be able to hear her voice is easy enough.  he brings that hell-device made by techno-capitalist overlords driving the planet to ruin closer to his ear,  and he breathes in her voice:  his name on her lips,  he imagines the cool glass as the ghost of a breath.  ❛  miss rawal,  ❜  he breathes out.  ❛  i’m  —  not busy,  no.  ❜  he’s thinking too many things:  they want her to say his name again;  they want her to never call again and stop pestering him when he’s supposed to be discovering the secrets of the universe;  they want her to keep calling and telling him she needs them;  they want her to always need something from them;  they want her to need them.  ❛  and  —  are you… not?  ❜  is what comes out of his mouth instead.  ❛  it’s… late.  you should be resting.  ❜  with your husband-to-be,  he does not say,  has enough sense not to say,  did not take into account whatever the hell he ingested and his mouth opens,  words delivered in a husky tone:  ❛  you might wake up your fiance.  ❜

@gazedivine

It's midnight, and there is a restlessness in Anika Rawal that seeps through to the bone. She is trying her best to sink into sleep: her lights are shut, her blackout curtains have left her room in complete darkness. There is no sound that pierces through her walls, and yet Anika finds that sleep does not take her. It's been quite some time since she had begun her attempt, and after an hour of tossing and turning, she gives in to the fact that sleep will not come tonight.

Is it so strange that the first thing she does when she rises, after turning on her lights, is to call her wedding planner? It's not the first time she's done this. Usually, it's because she has an idea plaguing her, her urge to micromanage the planning of her wedding taking over the appropriate trust and control that she ought to give to her planner. This time, it's because... well. She doesn't quite know why. Maybe the nature of their contractual relationship means he'll pick up her calls without fail, a reliability that she cannot assign to most people, especially at this hour. She is spending tens of millions on this wedding: he can hardly turn her down. Maybe it excites her more to plan this wedding than it does to actually marry her fiancé. Or maybe she's just lonely. Maybe she just likes hearing the sound of her wedding planner's voice.

In any case, she's made her mind up. She's called him so many times that her phone suggests his contact, and maybe that ought to bother her, but she thinks nothing of it as she presses the image of his face to call him.

"Rohan," she says when the other answers, and there's a stupidly childish way that she cannot keep the excitement out of her voice when she speaks to him. Now what? She doesn't have an excuse. Doesn't have a bright idea that's kept her up at night and that she immediately needed to tell him. She just — wanted to hear his voice. "Are you busy? I need to talk to you."

[gazedivine]

・｡ [ RANVEER SINGH . CISGENDER MAN . HE/THEY/SHE ] - ROHAN WADHWANI was blasting MOON RIVER BY ANDY WILLIAMS on the sidewalk in austin today . according to other atx residents , the THIRTY-SIX year old WEDDING PLANNER @ DILWALE has been given a reputation of being OSTENTATIOUS , but also STRATEGIC . [ REUSABLE STANLEY CUPS WITH THE PROTEIN SHAKE MIX FOR THE DAY — YOU'RE TRYING OUT A NEW PRODUCT TO MAXIMISE YOUR GAINS AND YOU'RE STILL NOT SURE IF YOU SHOULD JUST GO BACK TO THE PREVIOUS RECIPE; NEON SCRUNCHIES ON YOUR WRIST: THE ONLY WAY TO TAME YOUR LONG HAIR DOING YOUR DAILY RUNS TO ACHIEVE YOUR DAILY GOAL OF 15K STEPS A DAY; AND UNABASHED, UNRESTRAINED EARNESTNESS: INNOCENCE BORNE NOT FROM THE ABSENCE OF HURT BUT DESPITE THE ABUNDANCE OF IT. ]

NAME:  rohan  wadhwani  NICKNAME:  rohan  AGE:  thirty-six  PLACE OF BIRTH:  mumbai,  maharashtra,  india  NATIONALITY:  indian  DATE OF BIRTH:  22  oct  1987 GENDER:  cisgender man  PRONOUNS:  he/they/she  ORIENTATION:  it’s  complicated  RELIGION:  hinduism  ( shaiva )  PARENTS:  prakash  wadhwani  (  costume  designer, fashion designer  )  &  alia  wadhwani  née  advani  (  playback  singer,  composer  )  SIBLINGS:  n/a  LANGUAGES:  hindi,  english,  urdu  (  fluent  )  spanish,  french (  conversational  )  sindhi (  learning  )  EDUCATION:  bombay  scottish  school,  bennington  college  ( anthropology )  OCCUPATION:   wedding  planner  @  dilwale  HOBBIES:  scrapbooking,  travelling,  writing,  photography, running

PERSONALITY.

MBTI.  enfj-t  ENNEAGRAM.  9w1  INSTINCT.  sp/sx  TEMPERAMENT.  choleric  MORAL  ALIGNMENT.  chaotic  neutral  CHARACTER INSPO.  connor  roy,  succession  /  laenor  velaryon,  house  of  the  dragon  /  aventurine,  honkai:  star  rail  /  tartaglia,  genshin  impact

strategic,  charming,  earnest,  quick-witted.

ostentatious,  temperamental,  hypersensitive,  iconoclastic.

SNAPSHOT.

ask anyone,  and they’ll tell you mixing with rohan wadhwani is just asking for trouble.  then they’ll tell you,  all abashed,  that they don’t mean it  that way.  but if they don’t mean it that way,  then what way do they mean?  here,  the answers get all muddled up:  he’s too much,  too loud,  too in-your-face;  he’s a cheapskate who fleeces you for everything you’ve got,  but boy,  does he know how to throw a party;  he’s gonna make you comfortable and make you feel like you’ve known him for ages when you just met him an hour ago;  he cries easily,  laughs easily,  drinks easily,  goes down easily;  he’ll pull you in for a three-day bender and leave you waking up somewhere in berlin all alone with a text telling you he’s sorry,  but he’s got a deadline and he doesn’t have the time to take care of you.  he’s your friend,  but he’s not;  he wants to be,  but he doesn’t allow himself to be  —  not that,  of course,  anybody knows that last bit.

BIOGRAPHY.

tl;dr if  you’re  raised  with  an  angry  man  in  your  house,  there  will  always  be  an  angry  man  in  your  house.  you  will  find  him  even  when  he  is  not  there.

aka  connor  roy  as  an  only  child

cw  for  unhealthy  family  dynamics,  suicidal  ideation

in your memories,  looking back,  there’s always a boy:  exuberance incarnate,  all youthful passion,  maybe good-looking  —  or maybe not  —  but all heart.  the boy laughs freely,  cries freely,  wears his heart on his sleeve and will suffer for it,  will end up being carved from the inside out,  will end up as hollow meatsuit of flesh:  a curse,  perhaps,  or a gift…  or perhaps you’re getting ahead of yourself.

since you’re getting ahead of yourself,  it must be now acknowledged:  the boy is you.  you do not like to think it,  like to think instead that the boy is dead and gone.  the boy is a metaphor,  you tell yourself,  is something literary and spectral and fake.  the boy is something performative:  you learned the word when you were coming out of your chrysalis stage  —  you like to think yourself as having a chrysalis stage  —  and into your own.  

you had been many things.  you could have been many things.  there had been a writer inside of you,  but his words had dried up;  a movie star haunted your future,  but you could not let another’s story course through you when you were still figuring out your own;  a painter did not know what to paint;  a photographer did not know what to capture.  this,  your perennial failing:  you knew what you wanted out of life;  this,  your gift to yourself:  you knew that you didn't have the stomach for it.

your papa tells you to make something out of your life and you understand what he means;  your ma tells you that your papa doesn’t mean it like that,  but you’ve read this story before and you know how it ends.  or you don’t.  you kid yourself into thinking you know how it ends.  in your memories,  there’s a boy haunted by another boy and he’s telling you a story you’ve convinced yourself you’ve forgotten the words of;  narratives like  once when i grow up,  i’ll be far away  but also  when i’m dead,  they’ll say this at my funeral.

you thought about death a lot.  this is not to be morbid;  this is to be selfish:  you imagined your death and imagined people crying sobbing despairing saying  he was gone too soon  and you felt a sick pleasure at the image. they’ll be sorry,  you thought  —  but what do they have to be sorry for?  poor little rich boy,  given everything he ever wanted:  your tragedy is something you once whispered to yourself when you went to sleep and thought about never waking.  they’ll be sorry,  you thought  —  and never once thought  i’ll be sorry.

your coworkers tell you  be serious  and you tell them  i am wild.  not even your own words,  but that of another:  you’re trying to be something you can’t be  —  original,  expressive  —  and everything else is collateral damage.  you tell your clients that you’ll make their events  the greatest story ever told,  and you mean it but you don’t.  there are no more great events;  nothing ever happens.  history is a storybook that’s being narrated from the other room,  but this room is nothing,  and you’re nobody.  you make plans.  you craft scenes.  you manufacture happiness and sell dreams.  that’s what you do.  that’s what you are.  the purpose of a system is what it does,  and you’re just a cog in the machine.  

but  —  and this is so important that you dare not even think it,  not even during the nights when you’re alone and you feel the rest of your life yawn in front of you like the valley of death  —  in your memories,  there once was a boy.  he’s still there.  you like to pretend he’s not.  if you listen very,  very carefully,  you think you can hear the echo of his cries through the thrumming of your pulse.  you wake up the next morning with bags under your eyes.  you’ve learnt to be great with make-up over the years,  you and your mother:  memories bleed into the present,  and you know how this story ends,  but you don’t.  you caught a flight to somewhere halfway over the world,  and places change,  but you’re still you.

(  a truth realised when your nights turned into mornings,  your body clock still all messed up despite the passing of the years,  or maybe not your body clock,  but something else,  something more instinctual:  you can never escape yourself.  )

in your memories,  looking back,  there once was a boy who thought that if he could just play the role for long enough,  he might end up convincing even himself.

are you?

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

clients.  people he’s planned  /  coordinated events for;  mostly weddings,  but dilwale’s branched out into other kinds of celebrations in the recent past

party buddies.  he probably bailed out on your muse more than once,  but just when you think you’re sick of him,  they pull you back in;  will never be the designated driver,  has never nursed your muse’s hangover,  but they always know where the hot things are happening

gym buddies.  shockingly dependable,  which is a surprise  —  never skips leg day ever,  but never makes your muse push themself too far either

travel buddies.  sometimes the events he coordinates are destination weddings,  and he’s more than happy to have your muse tag along with them;  outside of their job,  they also literally just travel a lot:  however,  think backpacker grizzly nature safari wildlife reserve kinda beat instead of anything chic and luxurious

a fun time.  rohan’s always down for a fun time with no strings attached,  and they actually like having That™ kind of reputation so they’re always more than down for some foolin’ around

it’s complicated.  someone they actually talked, like.  Real Deep Shit with only to get embarrassed about it afterwards.  they’re not actively trying to avoid your muse,  but the dynamic hasn’t been the same since that moment.

frequent coordinators.  one doesn’t become the premier choice for planning weddings without dependable business relationships:  rohan’s established a trusty partnership with your muse and they’ve made a lot of money together through their partnership!

[gazedivine]

RANVEER SINGH x Tiffany July 2023 | 📸 Vaishnav Praveen & Apeksha Maker