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this is so funny.

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theofficialsadghostclub

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What it means to go easy on yourself

When you are having a hard time, the way you can go easy on yourself is by allowing yourself to be instead of trying to find answers to everything right away and fix things as if there are instant solutions to such deep-rooted problems and patterns.

Going easy on yourself does not mean indulging in self-destructive behaviour that will make you feel good for maybe a few hours or desperately seeking instant gratification in any way and form you can find. 

It means not jumping to conclusions or thinking too deeply or forcing yourself to figure it all out. It means eating well, getting enough sleep, brushing your hair, and having fruit.

It means laughing with a friend, going for a walk or lying down on the cool marble floor in Shavasana. It means constantly filling your bottle of water and carrying it everywhere with you and reading good books the ones that give you some comfort and leave you with a sense of warmth and hope.

It means engaging yourself in things that allow you to breathe a little better as you do all the functional things life is demanding out of you, like work and chores. 

Going easy on yourself during such times means you don’t take yourself so seriously because that is the quickest way to skinny dip in rabbit holes and camp there for extended periods. It also means that you say no to things and people who make you feel anxious, conscious, and uneasy. Yes, you should step out of your comfort zone and push yourself and all that but there is a time and place for that. And when you’re feeling such heaviness of being, that is not it. 

Not demanding more from yourself, not caving into the demands of others, not using your sadness and pain as an excuse to fall back on maladaptive coping mechanisms, not getting existential about everything — that’s what it means to go easy on yourself. So, please, do go easy.

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so i'm in this backyard chickens group on reddit and someone just discovered their hen is transitioning and everyone is stoked

anyway in case you didn't know chickens will sometimes spontaneously f2m and it's pretty cool

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MIGUEL ADROVER

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My love for women is in a gay way. My love for men is also in a gay way. My love for other folks is, you guessed it, also also in a gay way. This is how I'm winning at the game of gender.

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Unfriendly reminder that while you're busy mourning the loss of your childs old gender, claiming you need to mourn the death of your son/daughter, there's a group of boys/girls/enbies scrambling to take your kid clothes shopping, snatching up the chance to take those "first" experiences from you forever. Your sons first fishing trip is gonna be with his best bros, your daughters first makeover is going to be with her girl friends, your kids first camping trip out as themselves is gonna be with the besties. Good luck getting those bonding experiences back. While you're busy trying to guilt-trip your kid with your weird manufactured parental trauma, there's a whole community ready to take your place as the better family.

Your loss, someone elses gain.

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instagram.

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i feel so seen!!

(twitter thread)

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ive tried to verbalize this time and time again and i never rlly get there but as a femme lesbian i have a rlly hard time connecting with femenine straight women i dont know what the fuck they r talking about ever and they have always known (since i was a small child) that i was weird and other. INSTEAD i feel as if i can read the mind of fem gay men literally dyke2fag mental communication it is real and exist and im Tuned In i want to be an old queen when i grow up bc they r the only ones that get it

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So “queer” isn’t just an identity that’s broadly inclusive because, I don’t know, we like big parties. There’s actually an underlying ethic, a queer theory, that has political implications.

Its name reclaims a slur because the point is to say, “I am different, but that’s not a bad thing.” The queer movement is about upholding the right of all people to deviate from an oppressive cisgender, heterosexual, patriarchal norm. Broadening the spectrum of acceptable diversity; questioning and dismantling the social pressures that police and punish deviance. Changing not just our own lives, but how our entire society thinks about sex and gender.

That’s why “queer” embraces so many different groups. It’s not trying to erase their differences, but to try to coherently understand the complex overlapping pressures that affect each of them, and to extend our reach beyond the LGBT+ community. It’s about the right of lesbians to live without men and the right of trans and nonbinary people to be who they are, the right of asexuals to define for themselves what’s significant in their lives, the right of straight men to be vulnerable and emotional and nonviolent. When the great queering project is done, you will see the changes everywhere, not just in small LGBT+ enclaves.

It’s recognizing that something that harms or oppresses one of us is pretty likely to harm all of us, so we all benefit from taking it down together.

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Taking T didn't ruin my singing voice, and frankly I'm sick of folks panicking and ignoring the fact that cis boys go through two or three years where their voices are fluctuating and cracking and changing before they settle.

Your voice isn't ruined, it's changing.

If you want to make that transition easier, you gotta keep using it. Sing! Even if your voice cracks in goofy ways. Even if you have trouble placing your voice comfortably. It gets easier, I promise. Get a voice teacher (if you can) who has experience with vocal changes for pubescent cis boys if it's really making you anxious or if you're having a hard time controlling it.

To be clear, I'm not trying to be dismissive of people's emotions, nor am I trying to tell you about your own experience. If you feel something intensely, that's fair and valid. Respectfully, you should unpack that with a therapist or supportive peers.

However, when one of the main TERF tactics against transmascs is convincing trans guys that T makes you Worse in a Variety of Ways, and that you'll be ruining your body if you take it, I am EXTREMELY dubious of how many people online report any part of their body being ruined by T. Sounds suspiciously like TERF shit. And, yes, even Actual Trans People can play into TERF talking points. I'm begging y'all to stop the rampant fearmongering surrounding T.

So, after nearly a year being on T, I'm here to say that YES my voice cracks and YES my voice fluctuates and YES sometimes it feels like I have to relearn everything I knew about being a vocalist, but goddamn if I won't have fun figuring it all out, because I know this is just one stage of the transition I'm going through, and it's worth it.

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is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i used oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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More colorful redesign of my earlier collage. Big shoutout to my local anarchists who are willing to get it printed and distributed as stickers!