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me before getting in the shower: nooooo don’t let the water touch me, i am a desert creature, dirty and free
me in the shower: lungs were a mistake. the sea is and always has been my home

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small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]
me:

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villager: omg it’s my best friend!! how are u?? fighting the good fight? i’m so proud of u and i love u SO much. please accept this can of beans!
my depressed ass:

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I don’t wanna think about what would happen if he didn’t apologize and quit filming.
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why this bitch throwin butterflies in that bong

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An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures
The show is called ‘All or Nothing’
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