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@iamboredom

i go to the ytp bar and order the usual. the bartender sets a Snoopingas in front of me. i pick it up, raise it to my lips, and set it back down, repeating all of this while gradually accelerating until i have finished the drink. my favorite way to spend a frirfday evenineve

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i go to the ytp bar and order the usual. the bartender sets a Snoopingas in front of me. i pick it up, raise it to my lips, and set it back down, repeating all of this while gradually accelerating until i have finished the drink. my favorite way to spend a frirfday evenineve

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i’m glad jeff the killer has turned into just a silly internet guy nowadays but god i wish people utilized the fact that his original mythos had him as a shitty thirteen year old more. the jeff the killer jokes are funny as is but even funnier if you imagine him as a shitty edgelord preteen that barely comes up to your chest

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I thought Old Man Yaoi was like a specific person or entity. Like you walk down to the river, there’s Old Man Consequences, you walk down to the oak tree there’s Old Man Sensibility, and then you walk into the gay club and you’ll never guess who it is

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Yes yes the Chicago Vortex, this happens whenever the djinn in the local pagan Facebook group forgets to close the portal

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Hnngh. The Audible "hack" is making the rounds again, with people claiming you can use your Audible credit to listen to a book and then return it "for free." While I am the first among many to say "fuck Amazon and we should gullotine Jeff Bezos," I need you all to know it's not Amazon refunding you.

It's the authors.

They take that out of our royalties. And that's after they take 80% of our royalties on sales we do make.

(Note: Also, do not assume that your credit is worth the price listing that Amazon shows. Amazon does not pay us the cost of the listing. ((WHICH THEY PICK, we cannot set our own prices on audiobooks and then that forces us to use the Amazon price for the rest of the market!!)) What we get is 20% of the credit's value, so my book might appear on Audible for $20-30. However, if you received an Amazon credit for one of those $4.99 deals, I'd get 20% of $4.99. Yes, it's fucked, it's all fucked. Yes, other audio retailers do the exact same thing. This is one of the reasons authors don't make half as much money as people think they do.)

This became such a big issue that they had to make it impossible to return books after a certain point without talking to a customer service representative, because people were using Kindle/Audible and Amazon's return policy "like a library," and some authors (myself included) were getting royalty checks that showed negative income.

At this point, I don't even know if the Audible "hack" still works (Amazon has made changes to protect authors from this kind of thing at a glacial pace), but I need you to know it's not Amazon that's refunding you. This isn't a fun little "fuck Amazon" thing. The way Amazon has it set up, it's directly fucking the authors over.

So, yeah. Obviously, if you download something and can't get into it, or if something pops up on the author's side that makes you not want to support them anymore, yeah, process that return. Yeet the bitch. But please don't use it "like a library."

It's really harrowing to see your predicted income based on sales and then find out you're getting one-tenth of that because of refunds. And it's not even because people didn't like your book. They're just using the wrong place like a library and fucking over your algorithm as well, because once you get too many returns, you stop getting promoted.

Try using a library. You can access places like @queerliblib for FREE provided you have a US library account that you've hooked up to Libby. It's a little bit of work, but once you've got a card number, you're golden.

Just, y'know, throwing it out there because I don't think people realize this is how it works. You're not taking something back to Walmart, and Walmart is eating the refund before dumping the item in the garbage. Amazon takes the refund, turns to the author, and takes it off our plates.

Note: this does not affect Kindle Unlimited. Flip through the end pages to give the author maximum pages read, and then return that bad boy so the author can get paid. But also, please, maybe think about switching to a Kobo+ account instead. It offers the same subscription-based membership without demanding exclusivity, so authors aren't locked into just Amazon the way they are with KU. (Royalty rates are roughly the same, but it's a better deal in terms of allowing broader market access.)

This has been a rambling and exhausted PSA from your local peddler of weres.

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Buster Keaton in The Cook (1918)

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Me, watching my kitten hold still for a suspiciously long time: Ollie, are you peeing on my floor?

Ollie: Not

Me: Are you sure?

Ollie, grunting through time and space to push out a chocolate mcmuffin wider than he is tall: Not

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hey. good luck with everything, okay? [cutting the rope connecting your boat to the dock] just good luck. [starts pushing your boat further towards the stream] just have a good luck out there

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spotted by the river

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haha yeah man thats hilarious [suddenly lunges at you with my stupid rapier]

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I need you folks who are going back to school to understand this, sleep deprivation is not something to be proud of. You are being fed capitalist propaganda to make you believe that working yourself to the bone is a good and smart business model from a young age. If all you do is “get 3 hours of sleep” because you’re studying, you’re just gonna burn out quicker, forget the information you’re trying to cram, and cause your brain to cannibalize itself.

Do not compete by making unhealthy habits. This will only fuck you up in the long run.

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pinterest is so fucking funny they dreamcored jerma dollhouse

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discord was acting up and turned jerma into this

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stop reblogging butch and femme jerma

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i put on jerma streams for background a lot and it’s so concerning when he goes dead silent. i went to check on the tab thinking it was stuck or buffering and he was just

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cracking myself up thinking about the movement towards simplified forms in cave paintings