ghostgiving - Tumblr blog

[ghostgiving]

Shoutout to the victims of child abuse who don’t feel innocent.

Whether you threw tantrums, got in fights, broke expensive things, said means things, or caused any other type of trouble, you still never deserved to be abused. Children are at the disadvantage against adults, whether they feel like they are or not. Your abuse and trauma is valid and you deserve as much sympathy and recovery just as much as any other survivor.

[ghostgiving]

love will trap you into wanting to stay by someone's side even when it hurts like hell, because the idea of not being by their side at all hurts so much worse

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can't tell if I desperately want to be owned for kink or trauma reasons but I so badly want them to own me and keep me forever

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i think "oh my childhood doesn't even impact me that much" & then im Afraid To Sit in The Living Room

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What maltreated and traumatised [people] need most is a healthy community to buffer the pain, distress, and loss caused by their earlier trauma. What works to heal them is anything that increases the number and quality of a [person’s] relationships. What helps is consistent, patient, repetitive loving care. … For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that ‘unless you love yourself, no one will love you.” … The truth is you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved or are loved. the capacity to love cannot be built in isolation. … Before they can make any kind of lasting change at all in their behaviour, they need to feel safe and loved.” — Bruce Perry in The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog

[ghostgiving]

it sucks that i want to be acknowledged and held and loved and also never wanna be acknowledged and held and loved all at once. i want it but i want to be able to move around in the background like a ghost and never be seen unless i want to be

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did I have a nightmare? I am distressed at 4:35am and can't figure out why. was it a nightmare? or did I trigger myself but can't remember why?

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me when the disorder that I have that is literally a disability makes me unable to do certain things

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please stop asking, you wouldn’t understand

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"kill them with kindness" WRONG. hitting nonstop with swords 🗡🗡🗡

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"are you okay" no can we change the topic before i start oversharing

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I keep gaslighting myself into thinking my situation isn't that bad and then I see the abject horror on people's faces when I actually talk about it.

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I guess only half the reason I didn't kill my dad that time when he was sleeping is because I didn't know how to get me and my siblings out afterwards without upsetting them. The other half was that I desperately wanted him to be awake so I could terrify him like he terrified me.

[ghostgiving]

(covered in my abusers blood, the knife i used to kill them still in my hands) do you still think i'm sexy haha