ghostof-awriter

[ghostof-awriter]

Have we considered that the main reason Jean’s insults sound the way they do is because he’s just parroting back what he’d been called at the Nest?

It was his primary learning environment for english, after all.

[ghostof-awriter]

Current state of predictions/manifestations for The Broken Cage. I'll update it as I come up with more:

The Trojan birthday bash Cody mentioned in TGR. Bonus points if the loft balcony is used (that thing is HUGE and I am jealous).

Bryson is revealed to be behind the arson

Jeremy gets into a car accident–sustains minor injuries

Pat/Cody/Ananya poly verbally confirmed

Jab gets to show up to practice (no real reasoning. I think it would be cute for the Trojans to get distracted by him at a practice)

The balcony becomes Jean's garden

Jean and Jeremy use their pottery class to make new dishes for the apartment–Jean's usable and Jeremy's either extremely lumpy or for decoration only (lumpy glaze)

Neil + Jean interaction(s)

These are incredibly self indulgent but I'll lock in on them better after re-reading TSC + TGR again/when the next book release date is announced and final. I yearn for the bingo sheets.

[ghostof-awriter]

my dear friend Jeremy Knox

[ghostof-awriter]

I should be doing work rn but the parasites are eating my brain matter. Again. So I started looking back at my TGR annotations (😇) and was reminded of Kevin's "We're trying to sell you to them. An image of you, rather" to Jean.

Specifically in my notation of the parallel to Jean first having been sold to the Nest to pay off his parent's debt and now having to be sold as "palatable" to a wider audience because of the affects of the Edgar Allen. Jean has always been a product to sell to a waiting [exy] audience: First, as a child to be a pawn as a bargaining chip (something he was groomed for from birth); Then, as a piece of numbered meat, a member of the "Perfect Court" Riko was so delusional to uphold; An finally, as a perfect victim, a victim of circumstance. He was allowed be more slightly more himself, but having to play into that victimhood that he didn't want defining him.

Jean was never allowed to be his own person, at least when it comes to exy, and the press release he did with Kevin was a final nail in the coffin.

Edit: Made this entire post and somehow forgot about his career (and by proxy, his body yet again) being sold to Ichirou too (even if it was for his benefit, to some degree). Neil and Kevin both understand his situation regarding the Moriyamas, but that doesn't make either of them less guilty in commodifying Jean.

[ghostof-awriter]

Not sure if anyone else has thought of it to this degree, but I’m a big fan of how we don’t get insight to any of Jean’s therapy in TGR. Aside from hearing about his quiet sessions with Bee, we don’t see him vulnerable while working through his water trauma. He’s been in this exposed position to the narrative for a long time, broken and bleeding for us to see, that it’s a nice break from that hurt. His final (TGR) breakdown in Rhemann’s office following Zane’s attack is the most we see. His trauma isn’t for us to view, we (as the audience) are not the Ravens. We don’t get to be voyeurs to his pain time and time again. We see him getting better through his own internal dialogue and through the eyes of the team…and that’s what matters. This installment is about healing, after all.

[ghostof-awriter]

A while ago, I was struck with the realization that Jean was willing to refer to Wymack as a "father" much sooner than Kevin. Kevin, his own son, who still hesitates calling him "dad," correcting himself or refusing to even indulge in the word. The man Kevin knew to be his father, the one he ran to when nobody else would be there for him when he fled Evermore. The one who helped to build him back up by offering him a home.

Kevin, who was quick to call Jean his brother on television. Jean, who spent only a few months with the Foxes (most of which was spent alone in a room), calling Wymack a father. Wymack, who is a father to so many, calling them son or kid.

I don't have much to say on it, aside from this. It just says a lot about these characters and their relationship to family.

[ghostof-awriter]

I've decided I'm going to fandom post on this account. I have too much bullshit to say to stay quiet any longer.

[ghostof-awriter]

Thinking about an AFTG Track Au for some inexplicable reason and here's the conclusion I've come to (currently). This is based on my ten or so years doing track & field.

Neil: The most obvious, he would do long distance. According to current NCAA guidelines, he would be seated for the 10000m, 5000m, and the 3000m. Neil would also probably ask to do a 1500 (as if he wasn't already a freak) but would be rejected by Wymack.

Andrew + Aaron: Throwers. I imagine them both on the stockier side, which is a build meant for throwers and height isn't required (height and weight aren't much of a factor, it's all a matter of controlling your body and putting enough force behind it all–coming from a 5'2 ex-thrower). They would do discus, shot put, and the hammer, although I could see Aaron swapping shot for javelin.

Nicky: 110 hurdles, javelin, and long jump. He doesn't seem like the type to just stick to one event type but with these his height and (what I imagine to be) a slightly more lean build would help him. Neil + Kevin would tell him he would be a great distance runner, but he would always complain immediately or make an excuse to not do anything beyond an 800 outside of practices.

Kevin: Middle distance. I think that he would be in a situation where as a Raven he would have been pushed to do sprints, since that's what gets all the glory in the mainstream, but he would feel more comfortable in-between. He could do the 200, 400, and 800 or the 400, 800, and 1500. If in this AU he also becomes temporarily disabled and can't run, I could see him doing what I did and become a weaker thrower for a while.

(I could also see the argument of him being a decathlete, taking all of his skills and being able to do a little bit of everything).

Renee, Allison, and Dan: Middle distance, same as Kevin. However, if there was a fourth person, they would be a fantastic relay team for the 400/1600. If I were to separate them more, I think Renee would be a thrower like Andrew, just as she is a goalie. She would be a little more of a surprise, compared to the bulk of the Twinyards, but it adds to her sense of "hiding something" that Neil feels (in this case, that would be "not looking like a thrower."). Dan would jump like Matt, because, and Allison would probably do the 100, 200, and high jump. She's would absolutely have that sprinter glam and would tie her hair up in the perfect way every single time.

Matt: I think he would be a great jumper. I considered putting him with sprints and while he could do it, I think his power would be in using his legs as a launching point. High jump, long jump, and triple jump would be his trio, although dipping into a 100m or a pole vault could easily be in the cards for him.

Seth: He would be the true sprinter of the group. I think he has the attitude for it and believes that sprinting is the true strength of track and field, so he would do the 100, 200, and 400 at max. He prefers to stick with the 100/200 though. (it's hard talking about this without sounding like I have a bias around sprinters, but in my experience sprinters, distance runners, jumpers, and throwers all have different attitudes. Sprinters can especially be a little more showy because they're afforded the time to be and know that sprinting is significantly more entertaining to watch compared to the monotony of distance).

I feel like Wymack would be very multidisciplinary for all the Foxes, just as he is for exy. Practices would likely be broken into sections, where there's the throwers, the jumpers, and the runners, with a section of each practice being focused on group exercises (be it at the gym, through endurance runs, group sprints, etc). Most could be independent with a group leader where Wymack would choose a different group to focus on every day.

[ghostof-awriter]

life is embarrassing, so i'm crawling out of my grave to post something for once. maybe you'll see me again this year, but maybe not. i can only commit to so much.

part 1: who is icarus without his wings of wax | KevJean, 2.5k words

part 2: to stoke the fire of rebellion | KevJean, 1.4k words

[ghostof-awriter]

Re: massive csm fic

Trying to force myself to work on it again. between swapping hyperfixations, working on my personal writing, and a general feeling of inadequacy with my writing, it's been tough.

But I started writing the first draft of this last September, and refuse to give it up. But I can just hope that the motivation stays for a little longer/improves as I continue to write the story.

I have been working on a few projects over the past year, most of which are relating to Chainsaw Man, including one massive multi-chapter fic. I haven't updated anything in a while because of that, given the last time I tried to write a multi-chapter fiction it wasn't planned out well and has been dropped (sorry RYV).

In the meantime (definitely not to procrastinate working and editing) I have been rereading rather melodramatic and fixing some minor adjustments. And of course, I'll start posting updates and snippets from my projects.

Most of the delays have honestly been from a lack of motivation, so I'm hoping being able to at least have this to yell into the void will help me stay on track, lol.

[ghostof-awriter]

I have been working on a few projects over the past year, most of which are relating to Chainsaw Man, including one massive multi-chapter fic. I haven't updated anything in a while because of that, given the last time I tried to write a multi-chapter fiction it wasn't planned out well and has been dropped (sorry RYV).

In the meantime (definitely not to procrastinate working and editing) I have been rereading rather melodramatic and fixing some minor adjustments. And of course, I'll start posting updates and snippets from my projects.

Most of the delays have honestly been from a lack of motivation, so I'm hoping being able to at least have this to yell into the void will help me stay on track, lol.

[ghostof-awriter]

Hello, I'm ghost, and there is where I link to my works and post updates for those interested. You can find me most active on ao3, although I also have a squidge world account I don't currently use.

My current list of uploaded fics include:

Chest Pains & Flower Petals - PJO, Solangelo Francis Forever - Banana Fish, AshEiji From the Heart Thy Shall Speak - Banana Fish, AshEiji Remember Your Virtue - Bungou Stray Dogs, Soukoku and Shinsokoku (Dropped) rather melodramatic, aren't you - Chainsaw Man, AkiAngel Collections: even the stars have abandoned us - AFTG, KevJean (2 parts, complete)