ghostshark

[ghostshark]

so true king

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(Walking out of the Chernobyl reactor core) "whew! Do NOT go in there!"

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Jesus was an empath for sensing that one out of his 12 boy toys was going to betray him.

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[ghostshark]

i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i’ve started leaving a cup of water that’s “mine” (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated .

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How To Validate A Child’s Work Without Swearing and Saying “Lil Dude That’s Fuckin Sick”

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his cock was kafkaesque her pussy was lynchian can i make it anymore obvious

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every single translator: get his ass

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mothers are insane they'll come into your bedroom exhibit mental illness then just leave

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yes I'm at Wendy's yes my cunt is out

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category 5 tummy event

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why do US military bootboys walk around in public in their cringe costumes all the time

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ya i can be your housewifey *burns the hellofresh meal i was making bc i was looking at my own ass for 5 minutes

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[ghostshark]

i could fix him but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier