ghostwritesthings

[ghostwritesthings]

He is unreal.

[ghostwritesthings]

[ghostwritesthings]

#I need to stop relating to a 50 years old man

[ghostwritesthings]

Part two of In The Garden Under The Moon is up!

I loved writing this little two part series and can’t wait for people to ready it! I hope y’all enjoy🫶🏻 -Ghost

Pt.2 here!

[ghostwritesthings]

Where we Belong

Part 2 of: In The Garden Under The Moon

Summary: The missing pieces fall into place, crossing a line you can never return from. Maybe you don’t want to, finding the final missing piece to complete the puzzle of you.

Contains smut so mdni!

TW// smut, unprotected p in v (it’s the apocalypse guys let’s be real) , oral fem receiving, soft gentle sex, age gap (Joel 50’s reader mid 20’s) , creampie (don’t be like them and make bad choices), an abundance of pet names, praise, soft Joel, aftercare and fluff, Ellie being Ellie, happy ending

a/n~ I believe that’s all the warnings but let me know if I missed any, be easy on me as this is my first time writing smut. Constructive criticism is welcome as long as it’s not done in a negative manner.

“Y/N!! You have to wear a dress with meeee” Salem whines while dragging out the last syllable of my name as well as the last syllable of her sentence, trying to get me to join her in wearing a dress to the towns summer solstice. Despite the intimidation of wearing a dress, it’s hard to say no to the little girl. “I don’t know Salemmm” I teasingly reply, mimicking the way she said my own name back to her. I smile as she gives me a comically thoughtful look as if she is deep in thought before responding, “I can pick your dress! I just know you will be the prettiest girl there!” I smile at her sweet nature, thinking how lucky was I to find this girl. “I don’t think that’s possible baby girl…” I trail off with an amused smile, “You will be the prettiest girl there but I guess I can wear a dress, let’s go pick one” she burst into giggles before jumping up from her spot on the couch now that her hair is finished, racing back to my bedroom to pick my dress.

//

I have to give it to her, she did pick a good dress. I look at myself in the mirror once more as she sits on my bed playing with her stuffed animals, observing the woman staring back at me. Unable to remember the last time I felt…pretty. As I enter the bedroom she looks up at me, wide eyed before she jumps up, toys falling to the ground long forgotten as she rushed to me. “You look so so so pretty!” She cries out hugging my leg and bouncing on her feet, I smile before responding, “Not as pretty as you sweet girl. Let’s get going before we miss it.” And with that she grabs my hand to follow me out of the house to the center of town.

Joel’s pov

I hear the door open before a set of footsteps shuffle in, “whatcha doin’…” Ellie questions clearly up to no good by her tone. “Workin’. What are you doin’ other than buggin’ me” I reply throwing a smirk in her direction not yet putting away the wood working tools. “Haha very funny.” She deadpans “Get dressed we are both going to the summer solstice. I don’t wanna hear you bitching either old man” I set my tools down before turning to face her, “Language Ellie. And what made you think I was going to that whole thing?” I inquired while raising a brow. “Because y/n will be there….. so get cleaned up and let’s go because I’m tired of your sulking.” And with that the teen disappears back out the door, proud of herself.

Dressed and ready I head down the stairs, Ellie sitting on the couch with her worn out comic that she puts down once she hears me. “Well don’t you look pretty!” She smiles teasing me as usual, “Shut up.” Is all I can come up with as I feel heat creep up my neck. “Well let’s go! Can’t make your friend wait all night can ya!” She excitedly announces, using air quotations to emphasis friend. I brush it off with a roll of my eyes and follow her out the door, playful banter continuing till we arrive and she runs off with Dina. Heading to the corner of the room I find a place to sit, ordering a drink and unable to help the way I glance towards the door every time it opens.

Y/N

As we walk towards the front door the chatterbox by my side falls silent. “What’s wrong babygirl?” I ask her to which her nervous eyes lift to me for just a second before beginning to twirl a strand of her hair. “What if the other kids don’t like my dress and don’t wanna play with me?” She asks, voice filled with anxiety. Although she has been gradually adjusting to the town and being around other kids she still gets nervous, hence patrol being on the back burner for now.

I kneel to her height and brush her baby hairs that aren’t quite long enough to fit in her pigtails back before softly soothing her mind, “You look beautiful in your dress and you are such a sweet girl I just know they will wanna play with you. If anyone doesn’t play with you just because your dress isn’t pretty then they are silly for missing out on having an amazing friend.” I smile softly watching the anxiety drain from her face and instead be replaced with a bright smile. “Okay!”

Walking in she grips my hand a bit tighter than before as she scans the surroundings, still a little nervous being around so many people. Children running around, adults laughing and talking, music, and people dancing. Community. She watches a couple kids that are playing together when one notices her and runs over, with a smile I wait knowing what’s coming.

“Hi! I’m April! What’s your name?” The girl around her age asks with a big smile. Salem looks to me as I nod my head, encouraging her to talk. “My name is Salem.” She shyly responds. “I like your name! Do you wanna play with me and my friends?” Salem looks towards me with an excited smile before turning back to April and taking off.

Seeing as she took off to play I turn to scan the room, my eyes finding him like a moth to a flame. I slowly make my way to Joel, sitting at a table towards the back, talking to Ellie before she notices me and a shit eating grin spreads across the kid’s face. She whistles before speaking, “Well what do we have here? You’re look really good y/n! Doesn’t she Joel!” I blush as I mutter a playful “shut up” to the teenagers banter. Joel turns to look and freezes as he looks at me, as if I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on. Ellie takes that as her cue to leave with a smile crossing her face when Joel and I silently look at each other, happy for her surrogate father being happy.

Joel stands and clears his throat before pulling a chair out for me, “Have a seat” once I’ve sat down in the chair he pushes the seat in and returns to the chair next to mine. “Thank you.” I respond playing with my fingers as nerves surge through my body.

After a couple hours of talking with Joel, Tommy and Maria joining for a bit I excuse myself to use the bathroom. I walk in and look at myself in the mirror, feeling for once like a woman I had wished to be long ago. When I walk out of the bathroom to head back to the table I freeze at the sight in front of me, at the table Joel and I occupy I see them. Salem sat in his lap very animatedly telling him some story it seems, looking at him with the excitement only seen in a child’s eyes. He holds her close, soft smile on his lips as he responds to whatever she had said last. She looks up and spots me calling out my name and as Joel turns to look as well, I make my way over to the two. She climbs into my lap once I’ve sat back down and launches into what I can only assume is the same things she was telling Joel prior to my return, once she’s finished she jumps back up to return to her new found friend group.

“You’re really good with her you know?” I turn to Joel hearing the sincerity of the words, only for him and I to hear. “Thank you, you are too you know.” I softly respond then falter before continuing on, “Sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing good… it’s been so long since I’ve cared for a kid her age.” I offer, unsure of why the inner thoughts are escaping now. “I feel the same way with Ellie… she’s older than Sarah ever got to be so now everything with Ellie are things I’ve never experienced.” , he shares and I feel it too, the feeling of being lost on if you are doing things right and praying you are. “It’s crazy you know? To have a second chance in a world like this, losing everything and then finding purpose again.” I stare off into the crowd unaware of Joel studying my features as a strand of hair falls into my face. Before I can move it myself Joel’s hand reaches forward softly tucking it behind my ear like if he’s too rough I’ll break, then his hand brushes my cheek, in that moment time stops. “There…”. Both of us holding eye contact as he trails off s soft “Thanks” leaving in response. After a beat I glance down at his lips, allowing my mind to wander for a moment what they would feel like against mine… hoping to find out. Slowly Joel begins to lean in, catching the look I gave and testing the water. Just as our lips are about to meet a pair of little footsteps come towards the table. “Y/N?” We both quickly pull away as I look up just in time to see a sleepy Salem coming to the table Joel and I sat at, being up later than her bedtime had exhaustion kicking in.

“Hey baby, are you getting sleepy?” I ask her while lifting her into my lap, Joel subtly putting the distance back between us at her presence. Dropping her head to rest against my chest she snuggles into me with closed eyes, answering me without words. I smile while pressing a kiss to the top of her head at the sleepy state she is in, looking to Joel who smiles at me as I hold her. I rub her back as Joel speaks up, “I’ll walk y’all home, I’m ready to get out of here anyway.” He stands and stretches before waiting for me to get up as well, “What about Ellie?” I ask curious to where she’s disappeared to. “Staying at Dina’s tonight, asked me right before you walked in and I figured it’s fine.” I nod before moving to gently rouse Salem, who’s close to passing out on my chest from running around all evening. “Baby girl, let’s go home and get into bed alright?” I stand as I adjust her in my arms to carry her home, not expecting a response with how close she is to sleep.

“Okay mama” She drowsily responds, still half asleep as her cubby little arms circle my neck. Frozen in place as the words reach my ears.

Mama.

A name I never thought I would be called again. The name catches me off guard, the air punched straight out of my lungs as I process the word. Joel’s hand finds my lower back with a grounding hand that helps bring me back to the present, leading me towards the door seeing the emotions that fill my eyes.

//

Walking back home the night is peaceful, Salem’s soft breathing drifting over my neck as Joel follows next to me. He walks me to the porch, and as I open my door to walk inside I pause. Toeing the line once more I turn to Joel, “Would you like to come in?” I quietly extend the invitation, hoping he said yes but preparing for a no.

He follows me in.

I carry Salem down the hall to her bedroom placing her in her bed before gently pulling her shoes off, changing her into pajamas and letting her hair down hoping not to wake her. Luck being on my side tonight she doesn’t wake, too exhausted from running wild to fully wake up. I tuck her in and switch on her night light before whispering a goodnight she won’t hear and shutting her door behind me. I find Joel sitting on the couch, taking in the details of my home before noticing my entry to the room. I walk over and take a seat next to him and free my feet, aching to be released from the heels that feel more like torture devices than shoes.

“Are you okay?” He asks with caution, whiskey colored eyes looking at me with care. It takes me a moment to realize what he’s referring to, her tiny voice calling me Mama. Her admission of who she sees me as hitting once again.

I gather my thoughts before responding, wanting to get my feelings out how I want them to. “I… I’m not sure..” I trail off before beginning again. “I feel sad but I also feel happy? Sad because the last person to ever call me that was Eden, but on the other hand I’m happy because it means she feels safe and comfortable with me. I’m the mom she never had and have shown her what a mother is, it’s what I wanted but also what I feared.” I try to hold it together, chest hurting as that voice in my head screams the mean words. Taking a deep breath I press on, “What if I fail her like I failed Eden? What if something happens to her and I lose her or I can’t-“ I begin rambling, firing one what if after another as my breathing begins to subconsciously quicken. “Hey hey… easy baby. Slow down and breathe for me” I look to Joel as I do what he’s asked of me, knowing he too knows the feeling all too well. He gently holds my face in his hands as his thumb catches the tears I didn’t register had fallen. “I know it’s scary, but she’s safe. You love her and anyone can see it, you aren’t outside anymore. While Eden isn’t here with you for an instance that was completely out of your control and beyond fucked up, Salem is. She’s here, safely tucked into a warm bed, with her mom right down the hall. Something she never got to have before and she is right here to give you both a second chance. Maybe Eden sent her right to you, I don’t think it was an accident that you stumbled across her but that you were destined to find her, she shared a name with your daughter before she found you. It’s okay to mourn Eden while holding Salem in your arms, caring and loving her. It doesn’t mean you are replacing Eden. You are allowed to love Eden while loving Salem.” He is gentle and the words he provides make me feel seen, no longer invisible to anyone, no longer alone. I lean forward and into his arms, wanting to feel him close… needing someone to hold the broken pieces of me. He holds me tightly in his arms, providing the comfort and safety I need. Slowly I pull back, just enough for the tips of our noses brush. His eyes search mine as if he’s looking for something, maybe permission, perhaps a look that matches his own. He ever so lightly grazes his lips over mine, and I chase his lips which cements what’s about to happen.

Slow and soft, he leans in as his lips connect with mine. I kiss him back tentatively as a sense of belonging washes over me, as if this is where I was meant to be all along. He pulls away for a second before cupping my cheek with one hand as the other finds my neck, pulling me into a desperate kiss. He kisses me like the air he needs to breathe, sure of himself and the line that’s been crossed. He pulls away once the need for air becomes too strong but still holds me close, as if I’d disappear if he let go.

“I’ve been wantin’ to do that for so long…” he whispers into the quiet of the night, where it’s safe to share the feelings too intimidating in the light of day. “Me too.” I reveal, matching his tone of voice with my own. This time it’s me who moves back in kissing him harder as his scruff brushes against my face, a sensation that quickly becomes one I crave. He tilts my head in the direction he wants, his tongue swiping across my lips as I let him in without a second thought.

Swinging one leg over him I straddle his lap, Joel responding by tilting his head back at the new angle while his hands grip my hips. Lowering myself to rest in his lap, feeling the bulge of him beneath me triggers a quiet moan to slip into his mouth pulling a groan of his own to follow. He breaks the kiss to trail his lips down my throat, tilting my head to grant him better access before a whimper leaves my lips as he find a sweet spot. I feel Joel smile against my neck as he begins to softly suck on that spot, hands reaching around to cup my ass causing me to roll my hips into his. His hips stutter up chasing mine before he pulls away, breathing heavy and eyes finding mine.

“We don’t have to do this. I don’t want you to do this only because you are upset and it’s not what you truly want.” He whispers against my kiss bitten lips, gentle not to break the moment. I softly rub the tips of our noses together before the fear takes over the response, “I want this as long as you want it too. I’ll take whatever you give me, whether it’s just one night or giving me the opportunity to love you in the best way I can.” He smiles into me hearing the words that leave my lips before leaning back in, lips colliding and hips rolling against one another.

As we move into my bedroom Joel takes in the sacred place of my room, only having been in here just long enough to pull me from bed when I overslept before patrol. I look to him and his eyes find mine before moving back in, lips pressing into mine with a softness that intertwines with desire. His hands move to the straps of my dress, and pulls away with a tug of my strap asking a silent question. I nod letting him know it’s okay and he lifts the dress, left only in my bra and panties. He drinks in the sight before him before the words leave his lips, “Fuck baby you’re so beautiful, most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” before he can move back to my lips I follow his lead by giving a soft tug on his clothing. He removes his clothes leaving him in just his boxers before our lips return back to each other, slowly moving towards my bed before crawling up to lay on the pillows as he takes place over me. Spreading my legs to create space for his large frame he lowers onto me as he begins trailing his lips down my neck and continuing lower, unclasping my bra and tossing it to somewhere in the room long forgotten. The second his lips wrap around my nipple I gasp, hands grabbing his hair for something to keep me tethered to the earth with him. He switches to the other side providing the same treatment before continuing down lips placing gentle kisses in his wake.

Once he meets his destination as I released whimpers and whines along his path he looks up at me, tugging on the waistband of my panties asking if it’s ok to remove them. The second I nod this hands and gently removing them before tossing them to join the rest of our clothing. When my pussy is bare to him he stares, before I can close my legs in insecurity he finds his words. “You’re so wet darlin’ is this all for me” I nod, because it’s all his doing.

He dips his head dragging his tongue up the entire length of my folds as his hands grip my thighs, releasing a groan that mingles with my moan. He latches his tips around my clit and I throw my head back fingers once again finding their way to his hair. He eats me out like he’s been starving for years sucking my clit before moving lower, tracing his tongue around my opening. He dips his tongue into me pushing against all the right places, pleasure shooting up my spine with his nose rubbing my clit perfectly. His tongue retreats and is quickly replaced with his fingers, thumb rubbing slow circles over the bud of my clit. “You are doing so good for me baby, such a good girl.” I moan name at the praise feeling the knot in my lower stomach begin to pull tight. “I can tell your close, clenching around my fingers.” His fingers curl and hit the right spot causing my back to arch, teetering on the edge. “There it is… cum for me baby, let me feel it.” That’s all it takes to knock me right over the edge, a moan of his name a little too loud breaking out of my chest causing him to lean up to swallow it. His fingers continue to move, helping me ride the wave before slowing to a stop before I become overstimulated. He presses his fingers into his mouth moaning at the taste before his hands move to his boxers, the last barrier between up dropped to the ground.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? We can stop, I won’t be upset this here is enough for me.” Feeling his his hard length on my thigh the affirmation falls off my tongue, “ I want this. Please don’t stop, I need you.” With a nod to the permission he settles between my legs, widening to fit his body and lines himself up with my entrance.

Simultaneously we let out a moan at the feeling as his eyes watch my face for any sign of discomfort, slowly sliding inside me. His lips find mine and intertwine before his tongue sweeps inside my mouth grazing mine. Once he’s buried deep inside me he stills, pulling away from my lips at the gasp I release from the stretch of his size.

“Tell me when I can move.” I wait just a few moments as my body adjusts before I nod my head, hands cradling his face. “You can move.” With my breathless assurance he slowly drags almost all the way out before sliding back in, feeling every ridge of my walls. With forehead against mine he continues a slow and gentle pace, like we have all the time in the world. Both of us breathing soft sounds to each other and soft presses of lips the build up is slow, no rush to finish. Sweet words leave his lips as time slows, the knot that has once again formed seconds from unraveling. “I’m close… wanna finish with you. Think you can do that for me?” His hips losing rhythm and his gruff voice in my ear is all I need, nodding just as I let go. My back arches with my head falling back, his lips finding mine as I do my best to kiss him back. A broken moan of my name leaves his lips just as he buries himself to the hilt and stops, painting my insides white as he tips right over the edge along side me pressed as deep as he can be.

Once our breaths slow to the normal pace his eyes open, one hand brushing the hair from my face before softly speaking. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” My eyes find his and I can see the worry, the fear of causing me any pain in those whiskey colored eyes. “You didn’t hurt me, it was perfect.” A smile slowly spreads across his face as he leans in to once again kiss me, softer this time. We lay there for a while before he sits up and gently pulls out of me as I begin to dose off, laying on my side. Moments later his hand finds my thigh gently running his hand up and down, “Open your legs for me baby, just gonna clean you up.” I do as he instructed and feel the warm washcloth gently wipe my center, cleaning his release that dripped out. After he disposes of the cloth and pulls his boxers back up his body he gently touches my arm to which I sit up. With his help he slips his shirt over my body to cover me, knowing the little one down the hall is bound to come in at some point. The blankets pull back before his warm and sturdy body presses against my back, arm wrapping around my hip and legs tangling together. With a soft kiss to the back of my neck we fall into a deep sleep in each others arms.

//

The early morning sunlight filters into the room I stir before rolling over with my hand reaching for him, finding the spot next to me cold. I sit up at the realization he’s not there and my heart sinks before I hear it, three voices down the hall, two different laughs mixed with a deep voice. I remove the covers off my body to slip on a pair of underwear and shorts before making my way down the hall to look for the source of the noise.

I enter the doorway of my kitchen to find Ellie at the island perched on a stool and Salem sitting on the counter, the smell of eggs and bacon drifting through the house. Salem notices me first, a happy squeal leaving her lips “Good morning Mommy!” I join her at the counter to pull her up onto my hip placing a kiss to her cheek before responding. “Good morning baby.” Shortly after I bid a good morning to Ellie and Joel he announces breakfast is ready, as we settle at the table with plates in front of us and jokes and laughter fill the home.

I think of Eden, thanking her for leading me to the people at this table. Joel looking at me as we share a look, sitting around this table with our girls.

It took years, years filled with heart break and grief that led us to this second chance, a home with full hearts that have healed with this family we have found.

//

A/N: Here we are! I absolutely loved writing this fic and put a lot of effort to hopefully make it worth reading. The ending was probably the hardest to write because I wanted it to be perfect. I hope y’all enjoyed this! If anyone wants drabbles to this fic let me know I’ll gladly write them:)

If anyone ever wants to be tagged in a series let me know and I will tag you :)

Tag list~ @staley83

[ghostwritesthings]

New fic out now!

My new fic “In The Garden Under The Moon” is out now! I worked on it till late into the night so I hope it is alright:) Part 2 will be out tomorrow which includes my first writing of smut🫣 let me know what y’all think and I hope you enjoy 🫶🏻 -Ghost

[ghostwritesthings]

In The Garden Under The Moon

Summary// During a patrol with Joel you stumble across something you didn’t expect in the process creating tension between yourself and Joel. Soon the tension begins to unravel and a new chapter of life begins.

TW// age gap (Joel 50’s reader mid 20’s), reader has no description, reader has past trauma, mentions of child death, descriptive injury to a child, building collapsing, description of injuries, implied sa, malnourishment, mention of blood, use of Y/N, angst, comfort, implied past attempt (Joel), eventual smut🫢, kinda mean Joel then soft Joel, reader thinks lowly of herself, Joel sucks with feelings but so does reader, happy ending

A/N In my mind reader is 24-25 but feel free to make your own:) Please forgive me if there are spelling errors it’s nearly 5am and I have not slept. (Insomnia is my enemy)

Flashes of bright eyes and a smile like my own play like a film reel through my mind. Summertime, flowers and sunshine.

“Let’s clear the building at the end of the street”

Joel instructs as we arrive at our patrol site. “What about this one?” I ask noticing how he was skipping over a building along the way, the only other one we didn’t check. Joel takes a look, walking closer to inspect it before responding, “No. Don’t go into that one, it’s not stable and it’ll collapse at any given second.” He begins towards the building at the end of the street, I can’t help but take another look towards the building. Something tugging me towards the inside. I look away as I follow Joel through the streets into the building, sweat sticking uncomfortably to my back. Spring, with Summer just around the corner making the air hot, sun beating down overhead heating my body.

Turns out uneventful, only taking out two infected before searching for supplies. Only finding a few measly medical supplies we begin to head out back towards the horses, walking towards that building once more.

I hear something, the quietest whimper of a child, and something inside me took over as I walked towards the source of the whimper dropping my bag and traveling into the building Joel said not to go.

“Ellie was askin’ if you wanted to join us for dinner… said she wanted to show you somethin’ but wouldn’t tell me what.” Joel speaks being greeted by nothing but silence. “Y/N? You listenin’” he calls confused at the sudden lack of response.

I walk into the building, gun ready for whatever waits beyond the threshold. I don’t see anything at first, confused by what the sound was before I see it… a tiny child maybe 3 or 4 at most huddled in a corner. A little girl who looks to me in fear, I drop my gun to go closer to her before crouching to her level. “Hey sweetheart” I take a deep breath to continue, she looks so similar to her. “You’re ok I’m not gonna hurt you, you are safe now sweetie. Come here” I spoke softly not to spook the girl, wanting to coax her to me to take her to the safety beyond the gates of Jackson. I make myself smaller, softer to soothe her, not wanting her to fear me and think I’m a threat to her. She hesitates before crawling out of her hiding spot and into my awaiting arms, it’s at that moment I feel the rumble of the house and a yell from outside. But it’s too late.

I snatch the girl as she screams, shielding her with my body as the building crumbles around us. I feel a sharp pain run through my leg and swallow a cry of pain to stay strong for her, whispering words of comfort into her ear. My ears ring as the dust swirls around us, rubble all over as I speak to the girl, not yet hearing the yell from a little ways away. “Are you ok baby?” I ask her concern written on my face as I search her the best I can for any sign of injury, I find none. “You saved me” her tiny voice whispers, that’s when I tune into the outside world.

“Y/N! Y/N! Where are you!” I hear Joel scream searching for me where he can, I try to get up but can’t move my leg finding it trapped between some debris.

“Joel! I’m over here!” I respond just as loudly, the girl whose name I still don’t know crawling into my arms which I wrap around her. The dust settles and I see Joel rushing over moving anything in his path out of the way before getting to me and her.

“This is my friend Joel he’s gonna help you out then I’ll come too. I’ll be right behind you ok?” I explain to her, her wide eyes looking to me for guidance which I give. “Joel help her out of here then get me.” I look to him and he gives me a sharp look before taking her and carrying her to a safe area near the horses before turning back to me. “My leg is stuck, I think I can still walk just need help getting it out.” I inform him studying his face, he is very clearly upset with me. Jaw clenched he moves the debris that’s trapping my leg before grabbing my arm to help pull me to my feet.

“You sure you can walk?” He questions not looking at me. “Yeah let’s go I don’t wanna be around incase we’ve alerted anything or anyone.” We walk to the horses, Joel grabbing my bag when we walk past it and guiding me with a hand on my waist while I limp towards my horse Juniper and the girl. I kneel down in front of her when I’m close enough gently speaking, “My name is Y/N what’s your name honey?” I can’t understand the way I feel drawn to this girl, a stranger to me but there’s something telling me I was meant to find her.

She twirls a strand of her hair, I take note of it being a nervous tick and then she answers, “My name is Salem Eden Luna” then with wide curious eyes she watches me, while around me the entire world stops. Tears fill my eyes at the name. Flashes of bright eyes and a smile like my own play like a film reel through my mind. Summertime, flowers and sunshine.

“It’s very nice to meet you Salem, we are gonna get up on my horse her name is Juniper and take a little ride ok?” I ask her swallowing down the rush of emotions, hoping she didn’t see. “Alrighty… she’s a nice horsie?” She asks soft eyes looking at Juniper as I go to untie her reigns, “Yup one of the nicest ones ever.” Once I stabilize myself on my feet I warn her, “On the count of three I’m gonna lift you up, you will put your right leg over to the other side of her. Sit in that little chair up there and hold onto that little knob ok?” I wait for a response before seeing a little nod. I brace myself to lift her while placing my hands to lift her up safely, “One… two… three!” I lift her and make sure she slides her leg over properly before letting her go, she turns to me with the biggest smile, “I did it!!” She squeals, proud of herself for being able to properly get up to the horse with my help. “You did so well baby.” I reply a soft smile on my lips before I go to get up behind her, getting ready for the pain I know will follow through my leg. Before I can get up on my own a pair of hands appear on my waist and I turn to see Joel, avoiding eye contact but waiting to help lift me to make it easier on my leg.

Once we are both settled I wait for Joel to mount Serenity before the three of us take off, slowly riding due to my injury and Salem riding along with me. Once we make it a decent ways from the town Joel stops and I follow suit, waiting to see what we are doing.

“Let’s stop here, I need to check your injuries and patch you up enough to get us home.” He grumbles, I know him well enough to see through his poorly hidden anger. I do not to offer a response only a nod, deciding to let him cool off knowing I shouldn’t push it. At least not yet.

Once settled I get down myself with Joel’s help before he reaches his hands up to silently help Salem too, she hesitates glancing to me as I nod confirming it’s safe. I limp to grab my pack and set it down next to the log Joel has kicked over for us to sit, settling down next to Salem and rummaging around for my lunch to offer as he pulls out the medical supplies.

“Are you hungry? I’ve got a sandwich you can have.” I show her unwrapping the paper so she can have a look at the food to which she quickly reaches out to take, throwing the paper to the forest floor before beginning to eat it quick. Joel grabs my leg gently and I wince as he mumbles under his breath a “sorry”. I study him for a moment longer then to my leg realizing I was bleeding a decent amount from it, before I turn back to the little one, needing more information.

“Hey sweetheart, I need to ask you some questions alright?” She looks up crumbs on her mouth and chin, swallowing the mouthful before nodding. I continue on fearing the answer I’ll receive, “Where is your family? Do you know where they went?” She looks to her feet for a second before quietly giving the answer I feared she would. “It was just me and my sissy, she told me to stay there and she would go find food but she never came back.” My heart breaks at her words, a child left alone in a world so cruel to take all she has. I take her hand as I nod, she looks up into my eyes. “Can I go home with you? I don’t wanna be alone anymore and I don’t want you to leave me.” She looks at me with her tear filled eyes, bottom lip wobbling and I fold, part of me not wanting to let her go either. “Of course baby, you can come home with me. I’m not leaving you.” I respond while wiping the tears from her little cheeks, just as Joel finishes wrapping my leg and stands with a grunt. I hand her my water as Joel packs the first aid kit away once more before he stands up, still in a shitty mood.

“I’m going to check the area. Stay here.” He calls starting to walk away but I’ve had enough. I turn to her before giving her a soft “be right back” then getting up to limp after Joel, tired of his tantrum.

“What’s your problem. Don’t try to tell me there isn’t a problem I’m not blind I can see you are pissed.” I call after him half limping half hopping to catch up to the older man. “Y/N I ain’t doin’ this with you right now. Go back and wait with that kid.” He throws back not bothering to turn towards me, continuing on. I look back to Salem once more before finally pushing, “No you tell me what the fuck is going on cause clearly I’ve done something to piss you off!” I snap at him for punishing me for nothing, and he too finally snaps whipping around to face me.

“What the hell were you thinkin’! Are you out of your fuckin’ mind? That was fuckin’ reckless and stupid! You trying to get yourself killed out here?!” He seethes closing in on me, voice dripping with venom. “What was I supposed to fucking do huh?! I heard her and so I went in I wasn’t leaving her to fucking die!” I yell back matching his volume and anger, feeding off his emotions. “What’s it to you huh? Maybe she was supposed to! It’s not your fuckin’ kid so it ain’t your fuckin’ business! Can’t even hold Tommy’s kid but a random child and you are on it like it’s second nature. Like it’s your personal problem!” He yells and I shatter, he’s not entirely wrong, I’m unable to hold Benji because of my ghosts. The ghosts that follow me everywhere I go, haunting every corner of my home and my soul.

“I wasn’t gonna fucking fail her like I did with my daughter!”

I scream at him before it fully hits, silence suffocating us as realization dawns on me. His face softens and he goes to reach out to me, “Y/N I-“ I flinch away before slowly stepping back with tears welling up in my eyes, trying to stay strong. “Don’t… just don’t,” so quietly I hardly register the words had left my own mouth. Turning away I head back to Salem and Juniper, willing the tears not to fall with Joel trailing close behind. I force a smile once in front of her, pulling it together for the child in front staring at me like I’m the best person she’s met. As if I’ve never done wrong in my life, though I’ve done plenty to cement my place in hell.

I load her up onto the horse before refusing Joel’s help and forcing back the sharp pain in my thigh mounting right behind Salem, beginning the journey home. Joel silently rides to my left, observing the way my arms tuck around her as I whisper into her hair. She begins dozing off about halfway back to Jackson, eyelashes fluttering before she forces them open again. “You can go to sleep, I’ve got you. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” And within seconds of the words leaving my lips she’s out like a light, head to my chest as I keep her steady her even breaths grounding my own.

Joel’s pov

My heart sinks at the words, the anger melting away instantly. “Y/N I-“ I reach forwards wanting to hold her, comfort her because truthfully, I was an asshole as usual pushing down the fear that ran through my body thinking I’d lost her and replacing it with anger. She flinches before stepping back, her words echoing through my ears. “Don’t…just don’t” the tears in her eyes haunting me, she has never cried from the day I met her, one of the strongest women I know shattering in front of me and I can’t do anything.

I watch out of the corner of my eye, the way she holds her, the way she speaks soft and handles her with such care. How didn’t I see it before? With Ellie she’s patient and understanding, treats her similarly to this girl she stumbled onto, puzzle pieces connecting. Unable to bring herself to interact with children younger than Ellie, really Ellie being the only exception to children. I notice the tot fast asleep, peaceful and without a care or worry that the person holding her will harm her, complete trust. I notice Y/N’s face I study it quietly as she whispers into Salem’s hair, words I can’t make out. Confliction. That’s what I can see in her eyes, conflicted on feelings and remembering a past while living in the present. The same confliction I had before fully letting go and accepting Ellie as my own.

Y/N

As the gates come into view I feel tension leave my aching body, the pain from the collapse and the gash in my leg kicking in as the adrenaline drains from my body. But also relief, she’s here and she’s safe.

“Salem… wake up sweetheart we are here.” I softly speak into her hair letting go of the reigns with one hand to gently wake her. I watch as her eyes slowly open, tiny body stretching in my arms before looking up to me, sleepiness still present just as the gates open. “We made it home” She turns then to take in the surroundings as a noise of awe leaves her lips before a smile breaks out across her face. “This is our new home?” She asks still watching the children running through the center of town, people talking and laughing. Our. “Yeah… it’s our new home.”

Just as we stop at the stables I hear a familiar voice calling to us, sounding worried. “What the hell took y’all so long! Y’all were supposed to be back hours ago!” Tommy exasperates, coming to a stop once he sees not only the blood on the pant of my leg where it’s wrapped but the child in my arms shying away at his presence. Ignoring the original questions I slip down from the horse where Tommy quickly is there to steady me as I stumble before taking Salem down and onto my hip as the stable hand takes Junipers reigns. “I’m gonna take her to the infirmary, get her checked out she’s not infected but found her alone.” I relay to Tommy and begin limping towards the infirmary, she leans to whisper into my ear, “what’s an infirmary.” Her childlike curiosity shines through as Tommy walks along side me still trying to grasp the sight in front of himself. “It’s a place we go when people get sick or hurt also just to check and make sure we are healthy. There are people who are called doctors that will take care of you.” I gently explain as instincts I thought long gone are resurfacing faster than I can process. “You will stay too right?” “Of course”

“Where did you find her and how did you get hurt” Tommy quietly questions causing me to finally stop walking, “Tommy can we talk about this after I get her checked out, or go ask your brother I’m sure he will gladly tell you.” I inquire with the last part more sarcastic than the beginning, still feeling anger towards the oldest Miller. I begin walking once again as Salem’s eyes travel between the two of us, curiosity peaking. He eyes me cautiously at that, the sarcasm when I speak of Joel not usual for me, foreign to Tommy because of Joel and I being close. “Did y’all get into some kind of argument..?” Already annoyed with the line of questioning I walk into the clinic with one last answer thrown over my shoulder “Ask your brother”

//

Once my leg is cleaned and stitched up they assess her. She’s 4, height right on track with her age but her weight less than it should be. Vitamin deficiencies and slight malnourishment the only worries after she’s tested to see if she’s developmentally on track with her peers, deficiencies an easy fix with what to feed her and no bites from those fungus fuckers outside the gates. Relief flooding my veins as the news hits of her wellbeing, meanwhile she is occupied with a toy the doc gave to her to keep her company and comfort her nerves for the check up. The door clicks open and Maria leans in nodding to the hallway silently asking to speak with me, through the glass window I see Tommy waiting as well.

“Salem I’ll be right back alright? I’m just gonna go talk to my friends out in the hallway, you can see me through the window right there.” I inform her as I point to the glass showing the hallway. She glances nervously to the door then back to me before nodding, going back to the toy in her hand. I get up and check one more time before joining the couple in the hallway to be questioned to hell and back.

“Tell me what happened.” Maria states, the leader in her showing as she makes it clear she wants the full story based on the no nonsense tone of voice.

“We were clearing the town about an hour and a half west of here that we were assigned to patrol, when we were leaving I heard a quiet whimper. Unsure of what I heard I listened before locating the source coming from a building on the street, I dropped my bag and readied my rifle incase there was a threat. I slowly entered and did a quick sweep before I saw her-“ I nod toward Salem who is now up and inspecting different items through the room intrigued, then I continue on “I put my gun away and crouched down to coax her towards me, she was scared and alone so I wanted to bring her with us… I was bringing her with us. When I got her to come to me the building shook before it began to collapse around us, I shielded her with my own body putting her safety first. When the dust cleared I checked her for any sign of injury from the fall or bites from infected and found none. Joel found us then we headed here after stopping to patch me up and so I could give her some food and water.” I take a deep breath remembering the words thrown back and forth between Joel and I during that stop to patch up and eat. “Her name is Salem, she’s 4 and said it was just her and her sister out there. She told me her sister went to get food and never came back, I don’t know how long she was out there but she was alone either way. I fed her my lunch and gave her my water before bringing her here with me.” At the conclusion of my recount Maria takes a breath studying me for a second as if trying to find if I was truthful or not while I observe Salem.

“Although I don’t approve of you risking your life going into a building that you were previously told was about to collapse, you did a good thing. We will work on finding a placement for-“ I snapped my face to hers, the last words catching my attention immediately because of the promise I made to the girl who I saved only hours ago. A promise I refuse to break.

“The fuck do you mean find a placement? She’s staying with me and it’s not up for discussion.” I cut her off feeling another wave of anger twisting my gut, ready to flow out once more. Her and Tommy share a look of shock before Maria turns once more to me taking a deep breath, “Y/N you’ve done a good job bringing her here but we can find her a safe place to live and you can know she’s safe. You will still see her around I promise.” I stare at her in utter silence willing myself to not lose my temper but ultimately losing the battle, the day breaking down the progress I made living here and letting the hostility from the beginning creep back in.

“No. You are not taking her from me and if you try I will make sure you fucking regret it. She trusts me and I made her a promise that I wouldn’t leave her. You will have to take her over my dead fucking body.” I state voice cold. I move to get into her face, Tommy quickly stepping between us knowing it’s been a long time since I’ve been this out of control.

Then a voice cuts in.

“I agree with Y/N, the girl trusts her. She’s the one who saved her and has clung to her since we got her. She looks to her for guidance on what to do and if we separate her from the only one she trusts it may put her into a state of distress and make it harder for her to adjust. The kid has been through enough so it’s safest to keep them together.” Joel calmly states from the side of me, which I never noticed when he showed up. I look to him in a bit of shock and he looks back. I see it in his eyes, a silent apology by taking my side as his way of saying it without saying it.

Maria sighs deciding not to poke the bear more and give in because Joel is right, it could lead to distress and she also does not want to deal with me after hearing the whispers of the violence I am capable of after my arrival. “Alright. I will stop by in a little bit to bring some essentials over to your house, if you need anything let someone know and keep us updated on how she’s adjusting.” I nod as the tension leaves my shoulders, one weight lifted off but not all of it.

I walk back into the examination room to Salem who stops playing to look at me with a smile, triggering one of my own. “Are we leaving now?” She asks while getting up and picking up the toy she was gifted. I extend my hand out to her and wiggle my fingers, “Yes, let’s head home shall we?” And with a bright giggle she grasps my hand, small fingers intertwining with my larger ones, a grasp that throws me back to a different life.

//

That night, after tucking her to sleep in the bed next to me after voicing her fear of sleeping alone I lie in silence, thoughts circling through the air. She sleeps soundly while sleep evades me, why couldn’t this be her too? Why couldn’t she have made it with me to this town where I wouldn’t have to worry about her, where I didn’t fail her. I look to Salem her soft features relaxed, far away in a dream land before she scrunches her face a bit. I brush the sleep mused hair from her face and tense when she snuggles up to me, head to my chest and sighs.

Maybe, just maybe some force decided to give me a second chance at life. A second chance to fix things and right all my wrongs, to not fail again.

I wrap my arms around her and slowly drift to sleep, visions of flower filled fields and a little girl so much like me running through, giggles filling my ears at her enjoyment. Summer time, flowers and sunshine.

//

The weeks fly by, days filled with laughter and joy. The house that was once haunted slowly having life breathed back into it, no longer just a place to rest but a place to live. Days spent outside enjoying the ever changing season and evenings dancing in the kitchen to the record player in the other room, giggles floating through the house. It’s slowly becoming less painful, healing a part of me I never thought would be healed.

Joel’s pov

We haven’t spoken. Unable to find the courage to face her despite the revelation stuck in the back of my mind, “I wasn’t gonna fucking fail her like I did with my daughter!”

It rings through my ears, sleep evading me as I think of every word said. Feeling what she said deep in my bones, the thought something I felt after Sarah and with Ellie. I see her, out in town walking around with Salem. She looks happier, a happiness I haven’t seen in her eyes before. I saw a look in her eyes I know all too well when I entered into that clothing shop. Salem twirling around in a sun dress while she held her finger, Salem’s giggles filling the entire store as a smile that could light up the whole world fell over y/n’s face.

I head to the kitchen to grab something to eat, Ellie should be home soon so I should probably begin on dinner. I open a window after pulling out the groceries to make something fulfilling and healthy for Ellie and myself. That’s when it drifts through. Music coming from the house to the left, a window facing from my kitchen to hers. Drawn to the sound I turn to look, the sight I’m greeted with filling my heart with a warmth I try to keep buried. Salem standing on the counter dancing, y/n standing right in front of her, also dancing as the two release giggles and laughter before y/n scoops the toddler up into her arms to dance together. Twirling in the kitchen I see it, the joy of a child healing a heart, the sounds of a second chance being given to someone who deserves the world.

I watch them as if I’m stuck in a trance before it happens. We make eye contact and for a second she slows, holding the contact with a look neither of us would usually allow ourselves. A look that toes the line of friendship and more, then as quick as it started it ends.

//

Y/N

After our kitchen dance party and a full belly she falls asleep in record time, after I left just long enough to get her a glass of water for the nightstand. I kiss her head as I tuck her in before flipping that pink butterfly night light on that matches her bedding tucked around her, leaving her door cracked just incase.

I walk to my room changing into a light pair of shorts and a tank top, too warm for anything else. I then head to sit on the porch, clear my mind just a bit before I try to sleep. As I open the door I hear the soothing sound of a guitar being strummed from the house to the right, already knowing exactly who it is. I begin towards his house before I can change my mind, walking down my steps and up to his porch. He stops playing after hearing the creak of the step, shock flashing in his eyes before he sets the guitar aside and patting the chair next to his. As I settle into the seat a quietness fills the air, there’s tension but not in the same way as the last time we spoke.

“How have you been doin’? Looks like she’s adjustin’ well.” He speaks softly, almost like if he speaks any louder the peace of the night will disappear. “I’m okay, it’s a bit of an adjustment going from a quiet house to having a kid around but… I wouldn’t trade it. She is adjusting well, she’s a good kid who loves dancing and coloring, going for walks and wearing dresses. Almost like she didn’t go through what she has, part of me hoping it disappears from her mind and she only remembers this.” I tell him honestly, because it’s true. The peace of the night and underneath the moon the quiet admissions are easy, they don’t feel so threatening here.

He watches me for a second but before he can reply to what I’ve shared I begin once more, “Look, I know what I said back when I was bringing her here, I threw that at you out of nowhere and I know you didn’t mean things how you said. You were angry because you were right, I did do something stupid and reckless but I wasn’t trying to get myself killed. I heard her and just…acted I didn’t think it through because the failure from my past pushed me to move before thinking it through…before communicating.” I pause to let it sink in, gathering the words I want to say before I look at him and continue.

“Before I could realize what I was saying I just said it, something that I hadn’t thought I’d ever admit. I felt it deep down, blaming myself for what happened for years but never putting it into words. I wanna explain myself, explain what happened in the past because it will also help explain the choice I made that day.” I finish stopping just to look towards the moon when he speaks up, “You don’t have to explain anythin’ to me, or share somethin’ you don’t want to share. You never have to do somethin’ you truly don’t wanna do” he says so softly, radiating safety. I look towards him as I push through, “No… I wanna get it out, I wanna tell you about my daughter. So I can show you who I am, what made me who I am today.” He studies my face searching for honesty, if I truly want this or just appeasing him because I feel I owe it to him. He finds none so he simply nods, letting me know I have his full attention.

“I was 19 when I got pregnant with her, I was with a group when raiders attacked us. I escaped but she was the product of the attack, I never blamed her. God I was so scared, a baby in this world? I never thought I would have a child but when I felt her growing inside me I felt a sense of worth, a push to keep going because I had to survive for us. It wasn’t just me anymore I had to think of both of us. She was beautiful, the first time I laid eyes on her everything fell into place. 20 years old holding this tiny human who looked at me as if I held the moon and the stars. I’d have given them to her if I could.” I pause a sad smile crossing my face as I think back to it, the moments after when it was just me and my daughter when I promised her to never let a single thing happen to her. Taking a shaky breath I continue, “I found a house just weeks before I gave birth to her and lived there with her till she was 2 and a half, having to flee after we were discovered. We were on the road after that, despite how little she was she did a damn good job of keeping quiet when needed. And when the night felt too dark and the silence was suffocating I would look to her, and she would be right there looking back at me with a smile that would light up the dark and lift the weight of the deafening silence.” I press on despite the lump in my throat, willing the tears not to fall or my voice to crack.

“She had just turned four, I managed to find a new bracelet making kit. When I surprised her with it she lit up, squealing with excitement at the new toy despite not knowing what it was. She made the bracelets after dinner, made us matching ones while I made up our makeshift bed and I remember the words she said to this day. She crawled into my lap with two bracelets in hand and held them up proudly, her voice filled with the innocence only children hold. She held them up and said “Mama! Mama! I made us matching bracelets!” The excitement in her voice and the look on her face one of pure love, I smiled looking at our bracelets before putting them on. As we looked I spoke quietly to her, “Thank you baby they are beautiful.” That’s when I put the meaning out to her, “When we wear these no matter where we are, together or apart we will be together. Because the bracelets will keep us together.” That’s when I feel the tears fall the last good memory of her being spoken into the universe for the first time. Once I started it just flows out, like a dam that finally burst under years of pressure.

“I fell asleep…I was supposed to be keeping watch but I fell asleep without realizing and that was my fatal mistake.” I feel the tears begin the trail lines down my face, breath hitching at the flood of regret, guilt for my daughter. With a trembling voice I find the words once more, “I woke up to her screaming for me, but when I tried to get up I was held down. When my surroundings came back I tried to fight to get to her, but they were ready. They knew who I was and quickly the faces came rushing back, they were coming for revenge, something I committed so long ago I almost didn’t recognize them. She screamed and cried as I was beaten, bloody and bruised I still tried to comfort her, telling her it was okay. I offered them whatever they wanted, they could take everything for all I cared I just begged for one thing, don’t hurt my baby. My cries fell onto deaf ears and after beating me enough to cause me pain but not to kill they ripped my world away from me. The last thing they said was that now I would have to live how she had to live, then she turned and before I could even scream the gun went off. I watched her body fall to the ground as blood pooled underneath her, unable to do anything as they left but crawl to her to hold her. The light in her eyes was gone, empty eyes left behind. I held her for hours, rocking back and forth until the sun came up. I buried her out there despite the dizziness and dried blood all over my body, soaking through my clothes and into my skin. I dug her a grave, placed her into the ground and covered her with the dirt in a garden we had found. I placed her where she was in the garden under the moon, the place something I had named her after. Eden Luna, my garden under the moon. When I forced myself to leave I felt a part of me stay with her, buried beneath the dirt in that garden. My biggest regret… my biggest mistake was breaking the promise I made the night I met her, the night I held her in my arms the very first time as I promised her I would keep her safe, that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her and I failed. Failed to protect the one person in this world who truly mattered. I became a person I didn’t recognize after she was gone, cold and heartless, someone who could kill another human being without batting an eye. Someone she would be scared of. Someone I never thought I would be, but without her it’s who I became.” I finally finished spilling the broken pieces of myself out to Joel, fearing he will speak any moment to tell me to leave.

Softly he began to speak from next to me, “Baby look at me.” I turn to face him despite the fear of what I’d see, grief causing the pet name he’s never used before to fly right over my head.

“I had a daughter, her name was Sarah and she was everythin’ to me. It was just us since her mother left when she was a baby, raised her by myself until outbreak day.” I watch him in silence, not pressing and offering the space. “I was tryin’ to get us out of there, with Tommy but we got into an accident. Tommy and I split up as I carried Sarah who had hurt her ankle from the crash. We planned where to meet back up, but a soldier caught up to Sarah and I… we weren’t sick but he still shot at us.” He takes a shaky breath letting the tears trail hot down his face. “She died in my arms that first night…” he pauses glancing down at the broken watch before continuing. “I never thought I would be the same. The next morning I tried to… I flinched, for so long I wondered why did I flinch? Then I met Ellie and realized maybe that was written in the plans all along, she was my second chance to get things right and fix all my wrongs.” We look to each other for a few moments, studying the other after laying our bare souls out. “Thank you… for not judging anything I said or telling me to fuck off.” I say unsure what else to say cause nothing fixes these memories, there’s no words to fix it or bring them back but he doesn’t respond with words. Silently his large hand slips beneath my smaller one, fingers tangling together in a silent “you aren’t alone”.

We sit together for a few more minutes before I hear the door of my home creaking open, then a small head pops out drowsily looking around. I softly smile at the half open eyes searching me out before turning to Joel who I find is already looking at Salem’s half asleep form moving on my porch a softness in his eyes. Letting go of his hand I stand up, “Guess it’s time to go” I shakily let out, the air is different, a line crossed we are both aware we can’t come back from. “Goodnight y/n” Joel whispers with soft eyes, only for me to hear and I return the look responding just as softly.

“Goodnight Joel”

That night I slept the best I have in forever.

//

A/N Here is a new fic I thought of in my head. I split it into two parts because it began to get extremely long as I got into a flow. Part two will follow close behind and will contain smut ;) I hope you enjoy if you’ve read this far! Constructive criticism is welcome as long as it is not in a negative demeanor.

[ghostwritesthings]

Part one of a brand new fic coming at 2pm

I wrote a new fic titled “In The Garden Under The Moon” that will be split into two parts as once I began to write it grew extremely long. I’m excited to share this fic as once it entered my mind I had to write it and it just began to flow.

Part two will release tomorrow because I’m too excited to not release it 😂 I’ll most likely post it around 2pm tomorrow as well. Once I finish these two I will start on chapter 3 of “A Promise To Keep”

Can’t wait for y’all to read and I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved writing it -Ghost

[ghostwritesthings]

A Promise To Keep

Chapter 2: Somewhere In The Haze

Summary// Waking up in an unfamiliar place at first raises fears and tension between the stranger who brought you here showing concern like he cares for your wellbeing

TW// use of y/n, reader has slight description of brown curly hair and freckles, other than that there’s no description, reader is hostile while joel is patient, mention of a knife, mention of sickness and malnourishment

A/N- I believe those are the only warnings if I missed one please let me know:)

Why does he care? Why is he being gentle with me? I don’t understand his willingness to do this, like he cares about a stray orphan that he stumbled across out in the broken world we live in.

//Dream//

“Ok you hold it steady, grip it tight but not too tight. Close one eye and find your target with the other.” Billy calmly explains. I don’t get why I have to do this.. can’t he just do it for me?

“Billy I don’t like this! The bunnies didn’t do nothing! Why do we have to kill them.” My small voice cries out, he sighs we’ve been working on this for so long. My arms are tired and I hate this.

“Peach we have to baby, I have to teach you this to survive. I know it sucks but we have to eat.” He reminds me, it’s been two years of being just us. Adjusting to the new world is hard.

“Ok Billy, promise after this I can find a new toy…” I reply softly and giving him my best puppy dog eyes, I know he is right but it doesn’t make this easier.

“I promise Peach.”

//End of dream//

It’s warm, the warmest I’ve felt in months. The chill that lived deep in my bones soothed with the soft blanket tucked over me and the crackling of the fi-

I didn’t start a fire.

I was searching the store and someone…

I jump up, throwing the blanket off and sitting up to take in my surroundings. A house, decorated with different things, it’s lived in.

“You’re safe.” A deep voice startles me, fight or flight kicking in. I jump up and face the source of the voice, an older man with greying hair and a trimmed beard, and the cut across his cheek I gave him. I back up into the wall when he tries to come closer, making him pause.

“What do you want with me? Please don’t hurt me.” I whisper, eyes darting around looking for an exit.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, my name is Joel. I’m just taking care of you and will keep you safe.” The man says, he looks honest but in this world you can’t trust anyone. Billy always said, “you can’t trust anyone in this world, no matter how they sound or who they are.” I can still hear his voice.

“Lies. You can’t trust anyone in this world, there’s no good people left. Just people who hurt you and take from you.” I respond voice throwing daggers like I hoped it would. I pat my waistband, my gun and knife are gone. I try to keep a calm expression and search the room silently.

“I know that’s how you feel, maybe what you were taught which is good. You weren’t sheltered but there are good people, you are in a town full of them.” He stays calm, raising his hands to try to show me he’s not a threat. I watch him, still observing before bursting into a fit of coughs. I feel myself begin to fall before hands catch me, him having crossed the room to catch me. I quickly regain my composure and shove him to push him away. He steps back to grab a glass of water I didn’t notice close by.

“Drink this. It’ll help, you’ve got pneumonia and malnourished you need to eat and drink.” He offers the water, and I take it, gulping it down before Billy’s words travel through my ears.

“Never take any food or drink from a stranger, they can drug you with it.” I remember as it’s too late, he would call me reckless, stupid. I am nervous after because what if he just drugged me? I push it out of my mind despite the truth of my mistake, hands shaking.

“Where’s my gun. My knife too.” I question him, I want my shit back. He turns towards a table with a drawer, reaching in then turning back to me. My knife in his hand as he slowly begins, “I have your knife, you can have it back as long as you don’t shoot me. I sharpened it for you, but I haven’t hurt you so don’t hurt me.” He holds it out folded and safe for me to grab. I snatch it from him and study him for a second, but he’s right he’s done nothing to hurt me. I check the blade and he’s truthful. I find my knife sharpened no longer dull from prolonged use. I slowly tuck it into my waistband then pull by shirt over to conceal it but know it’s still there.

“Where am I?” I decide to ask after another coughing fit, rattling through my chest. “You are in a town called Jackson, there’s other people here too, not just us. We have running water, electricity and plenty of food. You won’t have to fight anymore, is there anyone out there for you…” he sounds timid, like he’s scared of what my reaction will be. I dodge the last question, it hurts too much and at that mention I zone out a little as the last image I have of my brother flashes through my mind. He looks sympathetic when I look back up snapping myself back to the present, like he understands.

“You are lying. You have me here alone and are tricking me.” It’s a lame response but true, I haven’t seen or heard anyone else. “Take a look out the window, you will see I’m not lying.” He nods towards a window, to the left of me and I slowly step to it keeping my eyes on him. I pull the curtain open and am shocked at what I see.

People. Some old, some young and then the most shocking… children. It’s like a spell falls over me, the world fades out as I watch. This can’t be real, people living as if the world never fell apart.

“See… no lies, just people living their lives here. No one here will hurt you, it’s safe here.” I jump when I realize how close he is, his voice soft like he’s trying not to startle me. I’m stunned into silence as I turn back to the window, still unable to process what’s right in front of me.

“How…” I shakily reply before looking to him, tears in my eyes because why couldn’t Billy be here with me. He studies me before starting, “A woman created this place, to protect people and give them a safe place to live. She brought back a piece of the old world for people she comes across, everyone she brings is accessed to make sure they don’t cause a threat.”

I can’t speak, the old world a place that’s hazy in my mind. One more coughing fit as he reaches to pat my back, I go to grab my knife and he backs away again. “Hey now, remember what I said. I was just trying to help you.” He states calmly but his eyes communicating to me he means business. I slowly put it away and grab the water gently, drinking it down once more.

“Let me show you to the shower, you can shower as I make us dinner. I have some clothes you can borrow until we can clean yours and get you some more.” Then he turns to a set of stairs and I follow, a shower sounds good right now.” Once we reach the top I follow him down the hall to the second door on the right, he opens the door and flips a light on. I cautiously follow him inside where I observe a decent sized bathroom, a shower tub combo and a toilet with a sink and mirror on the wall.

I pause as I see myself in that mirror, sunken in eyes with bags underneath, tangled brown curls and hollow cheeks. I don’t recognize myself, the girl in the mirror is somebody else, but it’s not that’s really me.

I turn as Joel reappears holding a towel, washcloth, toothbrush and hair brush. He sets them on the counter for me where I notice a stack of clothes that I never noticed him even bring in. “Here, there’s a bar of body wash in the shower along with shampoo and conditioner both labeled. Turn the handle to the left for hot water and the right for cold, when you are done come downstairs and wait for food.” With that he turns away pulling the door shut behind him. I quickly lock it behind him as I listen to his footsteps retreat down the stairs, then I start the shower setting the temperature just right before undressing and getting in.

When the water hits me relief washes through my body, the warmth feeling foreign after washing in freezing water while traveling. It’s a welcome change. I scrub myself clean washing my hair before standing there, taking the hot water in before it runs cold and I retreat out of the shower. I dry myself before getting dressed, feeling the cleanest I’ve felt in so long. Brushing through my hair is rough, tangled so much dragging the brush through the mess is difficult but I manage to get every single knot out.

Then I smell it. The smell of cooking meat and something I don’t recognize, I immediately follow the smell after once again tucking my knife away for safe keeping. I stay as silent as I can, still not trusting the strange man who brought me here for reasons I can’t understand. As I study him in the kitchen from the doorway I see him standing at a stove, stirring something in a pot.

“Have a seat, foods almost ready.” He says somehow knowing I’m right there without turning around. I do as he says slowly making my way to the table before sitting down, pulling my knees to my chest to find some form of comfort. It’s strange, one minute I’m all alone the next I’m here, with a man who for some reason took me in. I spent two months barely scraping by, then was found by a man taking care of me like I mean something to him.

Joel walks to the table with two bowls in hand setting one in front of me before setting the second across from me for himself. “Made some stew, since it’s cold figured this would do. Let me get you a drink.” Joel explains before grabbing two glasses from a cabinet above the sink before moving towards a refrigerator pulling out a pitcher filled with a liquid I’ve never seen before. I watch as he fills both with it before tucking it back into the refrigerator, then walking to set one down next to my bowl.

I lift the drink and study it for a second before I take a tentative sip, the flavor hitting my tongue. I pause shocked by the sweet taste, something I’ve never tasted before in a drink. I quickly lift it back to my lips and drink more, Joel speaks up then. “It’s lemonade, you ever had it before?” I watch him as he too takes a sip of his and reply “No… It’s sweet.” He smiles as if it makes him happy to hear, like that’s what he was hoping for.

Afterwards we eat in silence, a little wave of peace falling over me as I eat the stew filling my stomach for what felt like the first time in years. I didn’t realize just how hungry I have been, starving for so long I got used to it. When we are both done Joel reaches forward to me and I quickly place my hand over my knife, instinct kicking in. “Hey now… I’m just taking the dishes no need to pull the knife on me kid.” I slowly drop my hand once more, a strange wave of guilt washing over me. Confusion. Why does he care? Why is he being gentle with me? I don’t understand his willingness to do this, like he cares about a stray orphan that he stumbled across out in the broken world we live in.

After he washes the dishes and my stomach full of food he leads me up the stairs once more, walking till he reaches the door at the end of the hall. “You can sleep in here, the bedding is freshly cleaned and there’s extra blankets in the closet. I’ll be right across the hall if you need me.” Joel seems hesitant at the last sentence, as if some part of him struggles to feel his words.

Joel begins to leave the room hand on the door handle before I whisper soft enough I’m not sure if he heard me “Thank you…” He deserves at least this, because he is truly trying to show me care and make sure I am well. He pauses at the door before I hear it almost as soft as I was “You’re welcome.”

With that the door closes softly behind him as I climb under the sheets after setting my knife gently on the bedside table, the softness of the sheets and a comfy mattress beneath me I quickly fall into a deep sleep.

//

A/N there we have it:) chapter two of A Promise To Keep. I’m excited for the chapters to come, let me know if there’s any errors or missing warnings! Constructive criticism is welcome🫶🏻

[ghostwritesthings]

#I need to stop relating to a 50 years old man

[ghostwritesthings]

Chapter Two of A Promise To Keep coming at 11am central time! I can’t wait to release this part and continue this series

[ghostwritesthings]

Working on chapter two of A Promise To Keep right now! I’m hoping to have it out tomorrow or the next day so keep an eye out for that:) Next I will write a new fic that popped into my head late at night. I’ll keep y’all updated. —Ghost

[ghostwritesthings]

A Promise To Keep

Chapter 1: One Door Closed, Another Door Open

Teen reader x father figure Joel miller

Summary: Once again shown the horrors of the world you have to become a person you don’t know as one leaves another comes along

Warnings// time jump, cussing, character death, cannon typical violence, descriptive gunshot wound, mention of blood, reader has brown curly hair and freckles but feel free to ignore if you’d like, reader not named but her nickname is peach, has an older brother named Billy

/picture is just for cover not related to reader/

~ I think that is it let me know if I missed anything:)

prologue

9 years later…

I hardly remember what it was like, fuzzy memories I can barely see anymore. The world before it all fell apart, where kids ran free without a care in the world and adults laughed as they watched. When life was simple and you didn't have to be hyperaware of surroundings and kill to survive. Now we have to look out for the monsters that overtook it all and for the people. Some hunt for the hell of it, others killing you just for what you have and more.

//

"Peach are you listening?" I snap back to the present realizing Billy was talking to me.

"I'm sorry what did you say?"

"Peach you've gotta pay attention. One day zoning out like that will get you killed." Stern. I remember when he was soft, but that's long gone. Now he's rough, stern in a way he never was before this life, it slips every now and then pieces of the Billy from when I was little. Growing up way too fast for our ages, raising a kid in this world is something he shouldn't have to do. We should've been able to be kids, but no one can be a child in this world anymore.

"I'm not a kid anymore stop calling me Peach" I snap, his face falls slightly, knowing that although it's true he wishes it wasn't, that I could live a normal life in a normal world.

He clears his throat," The building up ahead, we are gonna go in, should have some supplies hopefully. Stay focused and alert, work fast and we leave understand?"

"I understand."

Silently we approach the building, an old cvs, maybe we will be able to find some canned goods and medical supplies if we are lucky. Pausing to listen for signs of anything, infected or other people, we are greeted by silence. Raising my gun we make eye contact, a silent agreement before he motions for me to go right, he goes left.

Entering the building I go down the aisles to the right of us, slow and steady. Checking every place that could hide someone or something, after confirming no one or nothing was around I head back to the entrance to wait for Billy, watching the outside while I wait for him. He reappears moments later, "All clear. Let's grab what we can and go I don't wanna spend too much time here."

//

We come up with a couple canned goods, some Tylenol and gauze not much but better than nothing. We make it back to our little camp by sunset and begin getting dinner set up along with our sleeping bags, we found them a while back in rough condition but better than nothing.

“Hey Peach” I look to Billy who is now smiling mischievously and has his hands behind his back holding something. “What are you doing” I bite back a laugh at his antics.

“Happy 14th birthday Peach” he says as he pulls out a can of peaches from behind his back. I smile while taking the can and opening it to eat the rare treat. “How do you know if it’s my birthday.” I tease knowing there’s no way to truly know anymore. “Because your birthday is when the seasons start to change, not fully out of summer but close to fall.” I look at him for a second taking in the fact that even in the fucked up world we live in, he still tries to make sure I have something for my birthday no matter how small.

“Thanks Billy.” I reply feeling like a kid for the first time in a long time.

“You’re welcome peach.”

We both eat dinner in silence, enjoying the food and each other’s company before I break the silence.

"Hey Bill?" I quietly draw his attention. "What"

“How are you not afraid of anything?" he looks to me then, concern written on his face. "What's this about?" he asks dodging my question, “You don’t seem scared, but I'm scared of losing you… being alone.” I say quietly almost inaudible. “You won’t lose me, I promise. It’s you and me remember?” he assures me referring back to the night it all ended 9 years ago.

“You and me”

"I love you peach.”

“I love you too.”

//

Runners.

Too many.

“Y/n! In here!” Billy and I rush into a room with a large window, unbroken despite the years. “Billy what do we do?” I’m watching the door as I hear them getting closer, gun drawn, aimed at the door.

“This window, I’m gonna shatter it and you are going to run. You run and don’t look back.” He looks at me like it’s the last time he will ever see me. They begin slamming into the door and I turn to look as Billy shatters the glass of the window.

“You have to go! We don’t have time, you need to get out of here.” He says holding my face in his hands, memorizing my features one last time. “You are strong, capable I’ve taught you everything you need to know. You keep fighting you hear me?”

“You have to come with me! I can’t do it alone.” I cried but I already knew, I just didn’t wanna believe it.

“I love you peach” he responds with tears in his eyes, then the door burst open just as he shoves me out the window

“Run! Get out of here!” I take one last look, ignoring that he told me not to, just to see them tearing into him. I heard his screams as I ran and didn’t look back.

I didn’t sleep.

Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was the image of them ripping him apart, burned into the back of my eyelids. As the sun rose I set off, no real destination, no one to follow. I walked in no particular direction.

Alone.

//

Three months later...

The snow is falling steadily as I search the shelves, there has to be something useful here. Out of food and low on ammo, both important for survival. Going on 4 days with no food and it caught up to me.

I'm focused on finding any useful items to the point I don't hear the footsteps approaching behind me until it's too late. Before I can grab for my knife I'm grabbed in a chokehold, though that doesn't stop me from still trying to fight back.

"Joel! Stop she's not infected she's a kid!" At that, the man let's me go muttering "shit" underneath his breath. "Sorry ki-" I scream out as I slash my knife at him catching his cheek with the blade, he quickly manages to restrain me again.

"Let go of me you piece of shit!" It's useless to still attempt to fight he’s bigger than me, a lot stronger but I'm not going down without a fight. "I'll fucking kill both of you!"

"Damnit kid, would you just settle down we ain't gonna hurt you." The man, Joel as the boy said, grunts, sounding like he's out of breath. "Bullshit you fucking liar! Put me down!" He sounds annoyed with me as he responds, "I'll let you go once you stop fightin’ me."

I didn't listen.

He didn't let go.

The lack of food and sleep mixed with the effort I used trying to escape his grasp I eventually ran out of energy to fight. But that didn't mean I couldn't use my voice.

"Put me down right fucking now! I swear you will regret it if you don't!" I snarled. "Alright." Then he lets me go. Hitting the ground but at this point the exhaustion hits in a way I haven't felt before, the world spins as my vision quickly turns black as I collapse. A pair of hands catch me before I hit the ground.

// Joel’s POV//

"I think she's sick..."

"No shit kid. Get the horses we are taking her back to Jackson with us."

I gently lift the girl, she’s young, barely a teenager from the looks of it. I wrap my jacket around her to keep her warm. She hardly weighs anything and isn’t hard to lift despite her unconscious state.

“Jesse, help me get her up on the horse.” I call out, the younger boy takes her so I can get up into the saddle then hands her to me when I am ready to take her back.

“You think she’s gonna be ok Joel?” He asks genuinely worried. I look at her then, brown curls a tangled mess, freckles scatters across her cheeks and nose, pink from the cold winter air.

“My guess is she’s most likely malnourished, maybe a bit sick.” I take a look at her as we set off, something stirring in my chest I don’t quite recognize… or don’t want to.

When we arrive back in Jackson she’s still out, I see Tommy approach as I wait for help to get her down.

“What the hell happened? Y’all were-“ he pauses staring at the girl wrapped in my jacket and reaches his arms out to take her so I can get down. “Joel where did you find her?” He says confusion and shock mixing in his voice as I take her back.

“Found her near the area we scouted last week, she was in a store looking for something and didn’t even hear me comin’. She ain’t infected but she’s sick, seems like she hasn’t eaten much either she’s as light as a feather.”

“Take her back to yours. I’ll get the doc and head over there. Maria as well cause she’s gonna wanna talk to you too, and her when she wakes up.”

//

My guess was right. Malnourished, vitamin deficiencies, and pneumonia. I cover her with a blanket as she lies on my couch, sleeping as if she hasn’t slept in years. She’s staying with me, there’s no one else to take her and someone has to care for her (per Maria’s order that had to be me). I leave her to sleep setting a glass of water on the table to the left of her.

There’s something about the kid, I can’t quite shake the feeling waking up in me that I try to keep buried, locked away to protect myself. I take another look at her before settling into the chair across from her with a book, staying close for when she wakes up in a different place than she remembers. A skittish kid, like a wild animal, but something inside me tells me the truth. She’s a scared kid alone in an unforgiving world.

[ghostwritesthings]

Here’s a tiny sneak peek of A Promise To Keep chapter 1

It will be up at 7:00pm central time tonight

“How are you not afraid of anything?" he looks to me then, concern written on his face. "What's this about?" he asks dodging my question, “You don’t seem scared, but I'm scared of losing you… being alone.” I say quietly almost inaudible. “You won’t lose me, I promise. It’s you and me remember?” he assures me.

“You and me.”

[ghostwritesthings]

GUYS.

[ghostwritesthings]

Their first and last exchange.

[ghostwritesthings]

I honestly don’t know how some people don’t find Bella absolutely gorgeous.