gilded-butterflies

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And then I told him that I didn't forgive him.

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Sometimes when l tell people I like horror podcasts they go "oh, same, I love true crime!!" and I just have to nod along, because there is no way to explain to them that we exist in entirely separate worlds and also that my opinion of them just went down by like 15%

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Unreliable narrators are one hell of an idea. You can just write whatever, and if a reader points out "hey the way this scene happened should not be physically possible if it's done the way this character described it", you can just be like "yeah I don't trust that fucker either."

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just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”

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when people are like “he’s not even attractive you could find a guy that looks like him at any gas station” i’m like….. well you see there’s beauty everywhere actually

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Two types of TMA fans

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It's hilarious to me that Al Capone was an amazing tipper. I get why it took so long to catch him.

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Think smarter not harder

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fuck this horrible Vessel im in

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no language should be mocked other than french

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More of you should be concerned about the cackling witch rather than the Nintendo switch

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all food is "guilt free" to me because i love foods and treats and snacks and drinks forever and ever amen

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bruce springsteen opened a concert last night calling trump corrupt, incompetent, and treasonous. that’s right sweetie he’s not for YOU and neither is “born in the usa” and it never has been x

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Georgie: Who and what are you? Cannibal monster? Dream demon? How did you get here mystery twig man?

Sam, has been awake 0.02 seconds: I’m a civil service worker who fell down a hole