Some incorrect quotes regarding our Buffy RPG game and the characters therein! Edit: This has now been expanded to the games played thereafter: our current one is a Call of Cthulhu campaign!
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Rory: Dad, we want to ask you something.
Reese: Ah, I've been waiting for this moment. My advice is: mind control is largely a question of persuasion. Oh, there are those who swear by drugs or hypnosis, but in the end, the best method is to substitute your will for the subject's own judgment, which-
Jamie: We want to know about our biological parents.
Reese: Oh! That's much simpler.
Ellie: (writing in a notebook) ...subject's own judgment...
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Reese: I think God gave me a loving spirit because, with my wit, intelligence, and ability to scheme, I would have been way too good at being very evil. Sometimes, I feel the evil start to bubble up from the depths of my soul...but alas, I'm a lover at heart.
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Reese: Stop playing cool. Just be passionate and intense and insane, and whoever sticks around is meant for you.
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Reese: Look, if you've got something you wanna get off your chest...I'm not much help. But I also don't judge.
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Victor: I have a science headcanon!
Reese: Victor, I am BEGGING you to say "hypothesis" instead.
Victor: So, my science headcanon is-
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Louis: All right, let's get back to talking about my outfit.
Quentin: Nobody was talking about that.
Louis: Which is why I'm trying to get that ball rolling! So, how does it look? It's good, right?
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Reese: Hi Quentin! Listen, your aunt was saying that if we want-
Quentin: Wait! What the hell, Reese?!
Reese: What? What did I do?
Quentin: You've grown! You're taller than me and you're two years younger!
Reese: You've never heard of growth spurts?
Quentin: ...Only in legends.
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Louis: (texting Roman about his breakup) It's my own fault. I ignored all the red flags and let myself get hurt, and now he's gone on to the next bigger, better deal.
Roman: First off, I'm not going to let you be down on yourself. Second, Reese and I are here for you.
Louis: Thanks. And please tell Reese not to go apeshit.
Roman: Oh, sure, just tell me how to get to the alternate reality where I married someone who makes calm choices.
Reese: (packing behind Roman) Ask Louis which airport is closest to his ex: I have to look up which airline offers "I need to cut someone" discounts.
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Big Bad of the Day: (glaring at Louis and Reese) I want those twinks OBLITERATED.
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Reese: I'M GOING TO EVISCERATE YOU AND WEAR YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT AS A CONDOM WHEN I FORNICATE IN YOUR SKULL!
Werewolf: ...What?
Reese: I'M GONNA SKULLFUCK YOU!!!!!
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Courtney: Reese...something Langston!
Reese: ...Do you not remember my middle name?!
Maurice: We have so many disasters bombarding us. The middle name of an ungrateful child is hardly a priority.
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Louis: Hey, if I ask you a boy question, do you promise not to be weird?
Quentin: I promise.
Louis: So there’s this guy—
Quentin: You can do better.
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Louis: I don’t “skate through life.” I walk through it. In really nice shoes.
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(Context: Just after their first duet in Episode 3)
Reese: I think... you're my best friend.
Ruaraidh: You think?
Reese: Well, I can't know for sure, because I'm realizing now that I've never had one.
Ruaraidh: ...This would be a really sweet moment if what you just admitted wasn't so sad.
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(Context: Louis and Reese are relaxing at a spa, sitting in a mud bath wearing facial masks and with tiny cheese wheels covering their eyes, sipping champagne.) Reese: ...So, what are the cheese wheels for?
Louis: It pains me that you even have to ask.
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Reese: It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.
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Reese: Good news, everyone! The university is bringing me up on disciplinary charges. Wait, that's not good news at all.
Louis: Whatever you did, Reese, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
Reese: Yes, but they won't listen. Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooh, suddenly you've gone too far.
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