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Love in The Apothecary Diaries isn’t loud.

Our society tells us love is in the grand gestures, in perfection, in physical attraction and loss of self in the pursuit of lust. In a way, not too different from Li’s society built on sex as commerce where people are used and thrown away. The desire of a grand romance played before a crowd on jealous onlookers.

But love, true love is understated.

Jinshi doesn’t come to Maomao’s aid with blazing guns but a song titled “Echo II”. He walks to Maomao. She steps towards him.

It’s in the way Jinshi immediately falls back into his true self around Maomao

How Maomao starts cracking the driest jokes with a tender smile

How she misses Jinshi’s confused concern over her antics

Jinshi reaching for her bruised cheek. Maomao not shying away.

It’s the quiet. The calm of two people existing in their own world like the echo of a forgotten memory. These little peeks into a beautiful relationship built on mutual respect and care for one another. A performance for no one.

The Apothecary Diaries is not a romance, yet it is rooted in love. Love of friends, love of strangers, love of family, and at the heart of it all, the quiet love of Jinshi and Maomao.

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I get that some are not happy with how Jinshi and Maomao's reunion was quick and not very emotional, but honestly what I got from that scene was an immense feeling of relief for them both.

They fall back into their banter, into Jinshi being fussy over her safety, and his tight brow got to unclench. Maomao started thinking again. She started making thoughtful decisions again. They feel normal again, even if the siege isn't over.

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maomao immediately going back to her droopy catlike self and realising she missed their dynamic oh they're so precious to me maomao my sweet girl

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crashing waves, but i'll never fall everyday, supernatural

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do you think Palamedes ever got slightly sad that Nona never even figured out that the bones she got to toy with were his?

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One of my favorite things about the cav!Ortus chapters is the way they show us how hard Harrow tries to look strong for Gideon. Like, the details from the shuttle ride over alone!

Vs. her level of planning ahead when she has someone to impress

And of course, her trusting him to help her manage her schizophrenia.

And I'd posit that, at least in part, it's because she already thinks Ortus pities her, and she therefore doesn't have as much to lose with him.

It seems like she gets the same energy from Crux.

Harrow appreciates his help and his investment in her sanity, but she hates this vulnerability, any softness directed at her. Harrow is so desperate to have Gideon feel anything - fear, hatred, anything - besides pity for her. Harrow, when confronted, admits her condition to the Fifth, and in the Pool Scene itself Harrow doesn't open up about her hallucinations. She clings to Gideon's perceived enmity and begrudging respect even when it hurts her. And I just can't wait to see her deal with Kiriona, who has literally been in her head.

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"bro i hate maomao shes such an awful protagonist and so annoying"

ur just a hater because if i had a face card so lethal i had to nerf my appearance everyday, a long lost father who is always trying to get closer to me, an adoptive father who i mean the world to, 3 big adoptive big sisters in a brothel (one of them being a mother figure to her), a grandmother figure who runs that brothel, the most beautiful person in the country down bad for me, all 4 concubines of the emperor love me, my coworkers love me, AND the emperor loves me and everyone regards me as an extremely talented and respectable person within my first year of working somewhere i never wanted to be in in the first place? yeah, i'd be annoying about it. jussayin

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Ninth Saint to Serve the King Undying

Harrowhark the First

Worship at the holy altar// Press your mouth upon the pearly gates// Do they taste how you imagined// When you Hail Mary'd for the fruit you ate?

-“Have Faith, Horatio” Chase Petra

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I really like the character TV Murderbot (TVMB) but I realised why it feels different to Book Murderbot (OGMB) (and not just because of its appearance)

No spoilers for the show, just my thoughts on characterisation!

TVMB feels 'new' and less hopeless compared to OGMB. OGMB, having been rogue for four years in ASR without managing to escape the company, felt very much like it was so depressed and resigned that it couldn't really comprehend getting away. Its love of media gave the impression (at least to me) of it primarily being a crutch to keep it from sinking into despair. Yes, media was the way it learned and developed much of its personality, but it has gotten to a stage of stagnation where media and its job are the only things it knows and it seems to have given up hope on an alternative existence.

TVMB, having been rogue for less than a year, gives me (at least as of 2 eps in) the impression of a being who is biding its time, and whose adrenaline rush at freeing itself is only just starting to wear off. It's still learning, it still wants to escape, but it isn't sure of the particulars of escape just yet. While it has a similar internal monologue to OGMB, TVMB's delivery of certain lines feels more like its irritation stems from the belief that the humans are an obstacle to its escape. 'Wow, humans are idiots. This is my life for now, can't wait to get the fuck away. In the meantime I'll watch some media. Hopefully that will keep away the existential dread and looming despair. Sure that won't hit me at some point.' *avoids eye contact with humans, and the looming depression*

It is very much how I imagine OGMB would have been early on in its newfound mental/emotional freedom as a rogue unit, at least before the futility of its situation set in. OGMB has already gone through that stage. It's now (in ASR) in a state of 'Wow, humans are idiots. This is my life and it's awful. There's nothing I can do and if I think too hard about it I'll lose my shit. Let me wriggle a little under the dread and despair and elbow it aside a bit to watch Sanctuary Moon again. Uh-oh, I am dissociating again.' *avoids eye contact*

Anyway TLDR; TV Murderbot is just an AU where Preservation Aux contract it before the depression hits too hard.

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It has social anxiety okay ;-;

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this post was made unrebloggable, so im stealing it

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"average SecUnit watches 462 hours of media a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average SecUnit watches 0 hours of media per year. Murderbot, who hacked its governor module & consumes over 21 hours of media each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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Good to know that the showrunners are being very deliberate in keeping Murderbot aroace, since I've been some people being worried they would ignore that part of the books.

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tonight I had the privilege of hearing a 13 year old explain the terms “cooking” and “cooked” to my 45 year old manager and she said something so excellent I have to document it.

“cooked is bad. cooking is good. you’re either in the pot or you’re holding it.”

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I organized a 'Broken Tablet' event based on 'The Locked Tomb' with my friends! 'Broken Tablet' is a game where one artist draws an artwork, then blurs it and sends the blurred image to the next artist, who draws what they see. And here’s what we’ve got!

The participants in order:

cbrcbbr (Tumblr, Twitter)

moxidi (Tumblr)

Fonserel (Telegram channel, Tumblr, Twitter)

Griddle

JackAl

Dani (Tumblr)

clubnich (Tumblr, Twitter)

Tanuki (Tumblr, Telegram channel)

lutyashka (Twitter, Telegram channel)

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