girlg0dguilt

[girlg0dguilt]

hi if you set a boundary or asked for help recently, no matter what the outcome was, i'm proud of you. you are very brave, even if you don't see it.

[girlg0dguilt]

Anaïs Nin, from a letter to Joaquin Nin, featured in Reunited: The Correspondence of Anais and Joaquin Nin, 1933-1940

[girlg0dguilt]

May the love you attract in 2025 feel soft, nourishing, reciprocal, and easy. Not traumatizing, ill-timed, or emotionally immature.

[girlg0dguilt]

[girlg0dguilt]

The only thing worse than losing you is knowing you did nothing to keep me.

[girlg0dguilt]

From the bottom of my heart, I feel stupid for shedding tears over you.

[girlg0dguilt]

I need your mouth on me

in whispers, in raving madness,

in uncontrolled ways that

never make sense but make

all the sense in the world

the way incoherence is

a language of its very own

as words collide with need

and I understand your every murmur

you place against my skin

though I can’t hear anything anymore

I can only feel your tongue

your strangled desperation

as I welcome you in.

—The Hollow Quiet

[girlg0dguilt]

Could it be that I am sick?

That the world we live in has outgrown me,

Was never meant, for me?

The grotesque and obscurities

Hiding beneath my skin,

Could they be a deadly disease,

Or the human condition

Which malfunctions in me?

Doctor please,

Diagnose me

Please tell,

What the fuck is wrong with me

[girlg0dguilt]

You deserve someone who never stops trying to show you how much you mean to them, even after they have you.

[girlg0dguilt]

i think one of the most important things you learn about making connections with others is that a significant portion of the time people just do not know theyre doing what theyre doing

[girlg0dguilt]

If I became the monster, && threw that guilt away... Would that make us stronger ?

[girlg0dguilt]

There was no one protecting me, Ginny.

No one.

You have no idea how lucky you are

to have me. I'd kill for you.

I'd actually kill for you.

Let that sink in. That's not nothing.

And I may be wrong, and I may be horrible,

and I may be ugly

and not worthy of anything.

Fine, I'm not worthy of anything.

But you are.

And it was up to me

to make sure you got that.

And I did that.

Like it or not, I did that.

I took all the darkness, and I ate it.

I became it, like fricking Bane.

Okay? So that you, my daughter,

could live a good life.

I kept you safe. 'Cause that hand

doesn't stop on the thigh,

and I spent my whole childhood wishing

my mom would stop that hand.

I've got a lot of demons.

A lot of nightmares in my past.

And I had a choice.

I could live in the past, drown in it,

feel it every day, be there.

But you have to live for the future,

'cause the past'll eat you.

There's more to life than that hell.

You and Austin, you're my future.

You're what I live for.

The second that test

told me I was pregnant…

I mean, I was 15.

I was younger than you are right now.

And then that strip turned pink

in a rest station bathroom in Georgia,

and everything had to change.

I left that bathroom, and I saw

this group of kids. They were so happy.

They didn't have a care in the world.

They wore nice clothes,

and they were smiling,

and they were loved.

You could tell these kids were loved,

they were taken care of.

They were my age,

but they were loved and I wasn't.

I decided right then

you were never gonna be like me,

you were gonna be like them.

And I knew I would do anything,

anything to make that happen.

And it took a long time,

and it wasn't easy, but I did it.

I got you on that bus with those kids.

So you can hate me,

you can think I'm the worst mother

in the entire world, and maybe I am,

but I got you on that bus.

I did what I had to do,

and I'd do it again.

I have no remorse.

Everything I do

is for you and your brother.

You don't trust me? Trust that

[girlg0dguilt]

I never want to get attached to anyone or anything ever again.

[girlg0dguilt]

“are u okay?”

no, i always think everything’s my fault bro

[girlg0dguilt]

I chastise my heart for believing it wants you back, when the rest of me knows that even the same person you loved once, won't be the same person you loved, the second time around.

V.R.

[girlg0dguilt]

Shop

[girlg0dguilt]

You are already eternal in Me. I will keep you in the leaves, I will sublimate you in words, I will elevate you to the high summits of love possessed by temperance. You will be part of My history, a precious chapter that I will read every day of all my lives. There will be no other name that, when I pronounce it, will ignite the boilers of my hell nor will there be another waterwheel that, when it rains, descends to the earth with the scent of Paradise. I will not love you like the others. I love you with every molecule that makes up what I Am. Be it matter and be it energy. Be thought and word. Be it intention and action. I love You, You… my other Self.