girlglassestheotherone - Tumblr blog

[girlglassestheotherone]

THE OFFICE (2005-2013) - 3.17 • “Cocktails”

[girlglassestheotherone]

a little gay word sandwich (on going)

[girlglassestheotherone]

My tumblr personality is about 100 years old

* megan trainer is so mean

* what park parks and rec series finale

* my tiny son

* 1 2 3 4 show us what you got Ben

* what’s better than this guys being dudes

[girlglassestheotherone]

its a shame that in 6 or so billion years, any and all existence on earth will be wiped out by the sun’s expansion, and it’s almost scary to think about how even now the sun continues to grow bigger and hotter, sexy and hotter let’s shut it down. pound the alarm

[girlglassestheotherone]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[girlglassestheotherone]

I don’t think dandelions are weeds. I think dandelions are free flowers that four year olds can pick for their mommies

[girlglassestheotherone]

Pawnee Pride: Stephen

Pawnee 2026

“You know how mom and I are kind of famous,” Ben tried to explain to the kids as they sat in their hotel room eating a late dinner. “And now that she’s running for governor, she’s only going to be more famous, which means weirdos might approach you at the state fair or at events we’re at.

“Oh my gosh, who would think the state fair would attract weirdos,” Westley said, taking a bite of his salad. 

“Yes, well we’re not going to call them that, we’re going to have a little signal, ok?” Leslie said, sitting down next to Sonia and Stephen. 

“Are people going to be filming us again?” Westley asked, concerned now. He thought about the visit to Ben and Leslie’s old workplace and the familiar camera crew.

“If they do we’re going to say they can’t film you, just like when you were kids,” Ben reassured him.

“They did get the cutest little clip of Sonia and Oliver,” Leslie said, covering her daughter’s ears. Sonia okayed the cameras but the mention of the boy she’d discussed comic books with caused her to blush.

“If you need to show Westley, I can always pretend I’m your son,” Stephen said, stepping over to Westley’s seat and taking off his glasses. “My name is Westley. I like outer space and penguins.”

“That’s a good Westley,” Leslie said. Even Westley smiled at this before grabbing his glasses back. 

“You don’t have to pretend to be our son, you are our son, but we’ll keep that in mind. Maybe we’ll get an extra pair of glasses if we need to take family photos,” Ben said. “Not that Stephen needs glasses, I definitely didn’t mix them up when the kids were one.”

“Stephen did love the cameras,” Leslie said, “Remember that thing with the poncho? He’s the only person who Jen Barkley’s afraid of.”

“So that’s why Jen asked if Stephen is going to be involved with the campaign,” Ben said. “I thought she meant me but then she just kept saying “the boy” really ominously.”

“That’s hilarious,” Leslie said, “Meet our son Westley, our daughter Sonia and our son Stephen,” saying the two words before Stephen as gravely as she could make her voice. Sonia giggled along with Ben and Leslie while Stephen silently ate some of his pizza.

Indianapolis 2027

“Why would that former governor even have a room full of actual skeletons?” Sonia said as she shut the door she and Westley had opened minutes earlier. The two had decided the party celebrating their mom was boring and were exploring the governor’s mansion. 

“I don’t know, Mike Pence sounded like a real weird guy. Good thing he exploded two years ago,” Westley said. 

“At least we don’t have to actually live here,” Sonia said, brushing dust off of her tuxedo jacket. “I’m not living in a creepy mansion unless I’m a princess.”

“Where have you guys been, they have a cake and cupcakes in there,” Stephen said, leaving the main ballroom to find Westley and Sonia in the hallway. 

“Stephen, you’re getting frosting on my dress,” Sonia said, annoyed as Stephen took bites of the two cupcakes in both hands. 

“It’s not your dress, it belongs to the good people of Deanna’s Dream Rentals, and it looks better on me.” Stephen did a twirl around the pair and neatly bowed.

“I know the dress said S on the tag, but it was meant for me,” Sonia said. 

“Or for Superman,” Westley said.

“But you like the tux,” Stephen said.

“I do.” Sonia said. “Ok, fine, you’re getting frosting on your dress, Stephen.”

“So.” Westley said, waiting for his siblings to stop talking so he could say something. “Stephen, the dress. I want to make sure I’m following what mom said in all those binders about gender and sexuality, do I have two sisters now? I just want to make sure if you. If you want to use she/her pronouns.” Westley looked at Sonia to see if she would interject. 

“I’m not a girl, Westley,” Stephen said. “Where in those binders about gender were clothes? Anyone can wear a dress.” 

“Ok then.” Westley said.

“Thank God,” Sonia said, “Not that I wouldn’t welcome having a sister, I just like attention. Don’t ever dye your hair blond, Stephen. There can only be one.” 

“I can appreciate that, Soso,” Stephen said, “You might not know this, but I also like attention.”

“That explains the dress,” Westley said. “And I guess clothes not having gender or whatever.”

2031

“Family, I have an announcement,” Stephen said, standing up at the end of the Knope Wyatt’s usual table at JJ’s Diner. 

“Does it have anything to do with that hat you’ve worn all day?” Leslie asked. 

“It does!” Stephen tossed the hat to the side. 

“BLONDE?” Sonia shrieked. “Stephen, you promised you wouldn’t ever dye your hair blonde. That’s my color.”

“It’s just for the play,” Westley said, “You know they’re playing Galinda.”

“Good. As long as it’s just for the play,” Sonia said. “And as long as no one else thinks their hair looks blonder or better than mine. I’m still the cutest blonde in our family. Oh. and mom.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” Leslie said.

[girlglassestheotherone]

Pawnee Pride drabble: December 2029

“You look very handsome,” Leslie Perkins Traeger told her brother Oliver robotically as he finished tying his tie in front of the hallway mirror. 

“Why are you talking like that?” Oliver said, imitating her tone. He checked his reflection one more time before turning around to face her. 

“Because I’m nice, this is me being nice, Ollie,” Leslie said, resuming her normal tone of voice, “Can’t I be nice to my brother without it being weird?”

“Considering how you’ve been for the last 13 and a half years? No.” Oliver said. “It was really great before you learned how to talk.” He turned around and walked down the hallway.

“Like it’s my fault my first word was fat,” Leslie said, trailing behind him. “And most of my other words after that for the next decade. I’m sorry. Ollie. I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you Leslie, it’s what Jesus would want me to do,” Oliver said, patting Leslie on the head. Leslie rolled her eyes, not able to hide that she was still bewildered that after the last year when Ann and Chris introduced them to various religions he decided to choose one and actually get baptized and go to church. At the time Leslie had said it was only because of the donuts they had after. 

“You know they don’t like gay people,” Leslie said, finally blurting out the secret she had almost kept for an entire day. She knew Ann and Chris were out of the house and they would most likely be supportive of Oliver, but for the time being she was the only one who knew. 

“One, Pastor Janine is one of many lesbians at church,” Oliver said, stopping at the front door of the Perkins Traeger’s house. “Two, of course that explains it, that’s why you’re being so weird and nice.”

“I’m not going to be mean to a gay person, do you know how disappointed Leslie Senior would be?” Leslie said, sighing as if it was very obvious. “So I’m trying to apologize for you know, all the bullying and whatever.” 

“Apology accepted, my ride is here,” Oliver said, pointing outside to the car driven by a friendly church goer. He put his hand on the door knob to open and Leslie snapped her fingers. 

“Holy shit, Ollie,” Leslie said, “You have a girlfriend, you’re gay and you have a girlfriend.”

“Sonia and I have been on like two dates, we’re not boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“Does the dress she bought for the winter formal know that? That’ll be three dates, Ollie,” Leslie said. “And I think Jesus said don’t pretend you like girls if you’re gay.”

“Oh, you’ve been reading the Bible?” Oliver asked sarcastically, opening the front door and stepping out on the porch. Leslie followed him outside, hoping she could distract him long enough so the driver would just leave. “I’m going to tell Sonia.”

“Good, you can just skip church and call her now,” Leslie said, making a shooing motion at the driver, who waved back and smiled. 

“Why do you care if I go to church?” Oliver asked, exasperated now. “Why can’t you just be by yourself for ninety minutes? You don’t need me to babysit!”

“Because Sundays were like our days to like, hang out!” Leslie said, embarrassed and trying to cover herself, “and church is dumb, I thought we both agreed that religion thing was dumb.”

“We literally live in the same house,” Oliver said, saying the word like Ann said rather than how Chris and Leslie pronounced literally. “When are we not hanging out?” 

“Between school and Saturday and everything we do separately, Sundays are like the only time, we get to spend together,” Leslie said, looking at the ground and kicking a bit of snow with her foot. “Ever since we moved here and you have the triplets and John Swanson, who I hate, and you don’t want to be friends with me.”

“Leslie,” Oliver said, “that is so dorky. I’m kind of stuck being your friend. Ever since Ann and Chris had you on accident. And me on purpose.” Oliver took his phone out of his pocket and texted an apology to the driver, who waved again before driving away. 

“See that’s the kind of fun stuff we can do, that’s Leslie and Ollie Sunday fun day.”

“What? Say mean things to each other?” Oliver asked. “Is that why you’ve been you? Has it occurred to you that I like the triplets and John because they aren’t total b words? Sundays aren’t fun days for me, especially with you.”

“But I’m nice now,” Leslie said.

“You’ve only been “nice” since yesterday and that was only because I told you my biggest secret and that’s only because you care more about what someone’s mom thinks. When she doesn’t even know that, no one else knows!”

“Oh my God, I’m like the first person you’ve told.”

“Yeah.”

“Why did you tell me first?”

“Because you’re my sister and despite how you act, most of the time I, I wanted you to be the first to know, because you’re important to me. Because it has just been the two of us and Ann and Chris before we moved here.” 

“That’s what I’m talking about Ollie, just the two of us,” Leslie said. “And now what? It’s just me and Ann and Chris?”

“You do know you’re allowed to make other friends here besides your brother,” Oliver said, “You can also be friends with the triplets and John.”

“Ok, fine, I’ll be friends with the triplets too but I’m not becoming friends with John Swanson, who sucks,” Leslie said.

“I don’t understand why you hate him, everyone likes him,” Oliver said, turning around to walk back into the house. He decided he could skip one time to make his sister happy. Leslie followed him into the house, trying and failing at hiding her enthusiasm. 

“Ugh, how can you all stand John Swanson, with that face on his face,” Leslie said. Oliver stopped and gave his sister a quizzical expression. “I hate his face and his whole deal. That’s the exact face he always makes. Lit-rally identical. Crazy.”

“We have identical expressions,” Oliver said incredulously, “everything makes perfect sense now, you hate John because apparently he and I make the same faces. Or is it because we have the same shoe size? Or is it because we both have type A blood?” He stopped and started inputting a number on his phone, the more important matter  at hand.

“How can you both have type A blood?” Leslie asked, “You obviously have type O like me because Ann and Chris have type O. That’s why Chris loves blood drives because we’re universal donors.”

“That’s what the lady at the school blood drive told me,” Oliver said, walking away from Leslie as the phone started dialing. 

“Well, if she’s right, I think you might be adopted, Ollie,” Leslie said. “Oliver Perkins Traeger: Gay, Christian, Adoptee.” 

“Gay?” Sonia said at the other end of the phone. “Wait, Oliver is adopted? How can you be adopted? We practically had to watch your mom give birth on those weird old movies.”

“Shit,” Leslie said, “Sorry, Ollie. Sorry Sonia.”

“Yeah, this is not how I wanted to tell you,” Oliver said, waving his hand away at his sister who wanted to talk more. “I just hope we can be, um friends?”

“Obviously! Math buds for life,” Sonia said. “Do you still want to be my date to the dance? Just a friend date.”

“Sure,” Oliver said. “Math buds forever.” Leslie paced around the room until Oliver had hung up the phone after he and Sonia cracked a few more jokes, relieved at his conversation with his now friend again. 

“Chris isn’t your dad,” Leslie blurted out. “Look, like Sonia said, clearly Ann gave birth to you, but like Chris isn’t your dad. Not biologically. I mean Chris is your dad, like he’s my dad.”

“See this is why we don’t hang out that much anymore,” Oliver said. “You don’t get to make fat jokes anymore, you won’t make gay jokes, but you just have to make me feel bad somehow. You haven’t changed. God, I can’t believe I thought you had gotten nice for some reason. All that shit about wanting to be friends.”

“This isn’t me making fun of you, Ollie, this is me just knowing how blood types work,” Leslie said. “This is really crazy, my brother is gay and he’s probably my half brother and he makes math puns. It’s just a lot of information to take in.”

“Yeah, I can see how this is all a big deal for you, Leslie,” Oliver said.

[girlglassestheotherone]

We shouldn’t have to pay rent in June, I say we because we’re all gay here, right?

[girlglassestheotherone]

PARKS AND RECREATION (2009 - 2015) Season 6 | Episode 4

[girlglassestheotherone]

Parks and Rec The Next Generation and Why Each Characters Are Friends (Future Westley edition)

Westley and LC are your classic rivals to bf/gf to ex friends to friends to bff pairing. Super nerds. Although academically competitive they like they each spur the other one in their goals. Pawnee High School eventually allows them to tie for Valedictorian. They go out for a few months in high school only to break up because LC had also started to go out with Stephen. Westley decides to forgive LC because he likes their weird friendship more. Every pairing has a stupid handshake but theirs is the most stupid according to their siblings because it involves several dance moves. In the soulmate universe they are scientists who study penguins while raising their daughter Nessie. In the soap opera one LC is the one first blamed when Westley goes missing at s OR WAS HE PUSHED

Westley and Oliver’s friendship starts because Oliver has a student job working at the school library and Westley is an avid reader. It really upsets Leslie when Oliver and Westley eventually get married in a local library, not that she’s not happy they got married. Westley owns a copy of all of Oliver’s books and he has not read a single one he’s more into high fantasy. They break up when Westley moves to Antartica to study penguins, which actually inspires Oliver’s best selling book but get back together years later at Stephen and LC’s wedding. Obviously Oliver is the first to start investigating Westley’s disappearance at sea in the soap opera universe not because he’s like secretly in love with him he loves his wife Sonia and being super duper heterosexual and having twin children who look a lot like his half brother John. John is Oliver’s half brother in the regular universes by the way, Oliver is Ron Swanson’s biological son, watch the finale and tell me that Oliver is not Ron Swanson’s kid. 

Westley and John are friends who are more friends because they have to, because Stephen is constantly casting them as friends in plays although eventually they bond because Westley is a vegetarian and vegan John needs all the weird friends he can get. John is the reason Westley realizes he’s bi but will never ever tell a soul that. Westley and John both had a shared first crush on Penelope de Forest, the older sister of Catherine de Forest, who eventually became a drug dealer while Catherine de Forest became a cop, boy I hope those two don’t eventually have a showdown that pits family against justice. In the soap opera universe John and his twin sister Dawn are the reason Westley goes missing at sea because Westley discovered the two were embezzling from Sonia’s political campaign and he was about to find out why Dawn and John always wore eyepatches and then HE WAS PUSHED

[girlglassestheotherone]

Parks and Rec The Next Generation and Why Each Characters Are Friends (Future Stephen edition)

John and Stephen are more than best friends, and they are in love in a way that no one will possibly understand or comprehend but not romantically, this is all according to Stephen. People think they’re dating for the longest time because they are constantly hugging and singing duets from Wicked to each other. Wicked is still very popular in the future. They make out after a school play rehearsal but decide they don’t like each other romantically because Stephen is into girls and John is pan but only likes blond(e)s. They are obviously together in the Soulmates universe where Stephen and John are wildly successful musicians who have a yacht. They also have a yacht in the soap opera universe where Westley finds himself right before becoming lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED

Stephen and LC are the pair who date for the longest and most consistently, with some overlap in high school when LC and Westley were dating. LC says she still likes Westley because he has the same face as Stephen and when Stephen proposes she asks if she can marry their brother too. Only LC and to a certain extent Westley find this funny. Stephen is a musician who gets rich by secretly writing jingles they find embarrassing but not so rich to afford a yacht because they’re supporting LC going to med school and their four kids. There’s frequent disagreement on whether LC or Westley is the smartest one in the friend group but Stephen always chooses LC. In the soap opera universe Stephen is LC’s alibi for when Westley goes missing at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED.

While rehearsing for the musical Stephen wrote about their parents and their friends someone points out that Oliver and Stephen aren’t friends which makes Stephen question how they can fix this. Oliver says everyone doesn’t have to be friends with everyone and it’s already weird enough that there seem to be so many pairings between people who just happen to be offspring of their specific parents but unless the show gives me more characters I’m not going to invent more of them just to make it make slightly more sense. Stephen says Oliver feels weird hanging out with Stephen because Oliver obviously has a crush on them too because Stephen has the same face as Oliver’s crush Westley. Oliver says what? that’s disgusting and wrong, I don’t even get, why would I, I’ve never liked anyone anywhere, it’s none of your, the nerve, the audacity, Westley is my lab partner technically, And he is terrible, facewise. And how, how do I know, frankly, that you don’t like him? Maybe you do. Maybe you're trying to throw me off. Hmm. Check and mate. This is an outrage! Who do I call? And Stephen says  what? And then Stephen says do you want to get stoned in our old treehouse and they do. And that’s how they find out that Oliver loves cooking and Stephen loves eating whatever Oliver cooks. Stephen is also Oliver’s biggest champion of writing his first book because Stephen is everyone’s champion. In the soap opera universe Stephen pairs up with Oliver to solve the crime after LC is accused of being the reason Westley is lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED

[girlglassestheotherone]

Yes, I do in fact want to take your guns away. All of them. Even from you.

[girlglassestheotherone]

Parks and Rec The Next Generation and Why Each Characters Are Friends (Future Sonia edition)

As inspired by a chat with my tumblog wife @kickassleslie

Sonia and Oliver are best friends who bond over their mutual love of math and being total nerds. In more complicated ways that I think Parks and Rec doesn’t hold up anymore, they also love hunting with Ron Swanson. But in this perfect future they are just nature nerds together. Sonia does kiss Oliver after a mathlete competition because Sonia has a crush on Oliver and both have been told most of their lives by their moms that they would make a cute couple. They go on a few dates but it doesn’t work out because Oliver is gay and Sonia is only half gay. I used to be bi I can make that joke. They are each other’s soulmates and are together in the universe where the soulmates are with each other. There they have five kids, Oliver is a stay at home dad/successful children’s book writer (they are all books about math) and Sonia becomes a lawyer – judge – Supreme Court justice. In the Soap Opera universe they are also together but it’s dramatic because Sonia’s twins were actually fathered by her lover John, who was cheating on his boyfriend Stephen, and she was also cheating on John with his twin Dawn who wears an eyepatch and Westley is lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED

Sonia and Leslie Perkins Traeger who I decided everyone calls LC because I decided her middle name is Christine are not immediately besties unfortunately after the families all move back to Pawnee. That is because the finale decided to have that scene where Leslie and Ann think Oliver and Sonia are going to be a future couple instead of the much cuter scene where Sonia and LC are talking and their moms say future best friends!! Which is the finale’s only flaw. Plus initially Oliver and Sonia are in the same classes until LC skips a grade and Sonia thinks LC is kind of mean because she was kind of a bully to her brother Oliver as a child. It takes a few Galentines Days for LC and Sonia to finally become friends, especially after they join rival roller derby teams and are briefly enemies, Sonia as captain of the Eagleton Eagles and LC as captain of the Pawnee Bread Factory Fires. Sonia has a crush on LC but it’s not reciprocated because LC is tragically heterosexual except in the Unexpected Pairings universe which is something I decided is a universe where someone on AO3 put Stephen and Oliver (instead of my canon Oliver and Westley) together. In that universe LC is a dancer while her wife Sonia is a congresswoman, Senator and then President. In the soap opera universe they are back to being enemies and Sonia blames LC for Westley being lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED

Sonia and John are the biggest jocks of the Parks and Rec TNG world, they spend a lot of time briefly trying to defeat each other at various sports, much to the disinterest of their friends. Due to their competition they are both no longer allowed at the Pawnee bowling alley. They love animals even if John can’t understand why Sonia likes eating them. They are the couple I would ship in every universe: Sonia/Dawn, Samuel Knope Wyatt/John, Samuel/Dawn, even when in the universe where Sonia is technically married to Oliver and the Soap Opera universe where twins John and Dawn exist and Dawn has an eyepatch, and is actually the reason Westley is lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED there’s also a normal universe where twins John and Dawn exist but Sonia and just Dawn are the couple and the triplets are constantly asking them where’s the rest to the twins. In every Sonia/Dawn or John universe Sonia follows her mom’s path to governor/POTUS after being an 19 year old mayor while John/Dawn are basketball coaches except in the soap opera one where their job is wearing an eyepatch and being mysterious

[girlglassestheotherone]

*looking at lifelong mutual* she’s like a wife to me..

[girlglassestheotherone]

Blair and Serena and Nate should have ended up as a throuple thank you

.

[girlglassestheotherone]

Also please be advised that it is now canon that Ben and Leslie have a boy, a girl and a nonbinary child because what the hell are the showrunners going to do to say it’s not canon

Girl Glasses and The Nonbinary One