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Jane the Virgin (Episode 1)

Okay, I don’t want to be that person who reviews a show based on one episode, because unlike movies, a single episode is not a single piece that can always be taken individually but...

Someone please let me know if this gets better? Because the way this episode portrays sexuality in general is kind of rubbing me the wrong way. It’s not entirely in the text, but there is some significant virginity-related actual text that comes before it so my mind was very aware of whether it would actually put effort to subvert the message it gives in the first few minutes or reiterate the message throughout the rest. Let me break it down.

Pre-emptive disclaimer: keep in mind I am a deconstructionist. If the show later does things that go against my first impression and deconstruct itself, that’s great, but this is just the messages that I felt were apparent in episode one. 

So we open up on our protagonist Jane in her childhood years, getting the good old harmful chewed-gun monologue that has made girls think that losing their virginity makes them less valuable as people from her grandmother, whose using the “crumpled up flower” version. Cut to years later when Jane is an adult whose made the choice to stay a virgin. Now, every woman 100% has the right to make this choice themselves, but the show lets us know this by specifically showing Jane has the flower framed on her wall and when her boyfriend is making out pretty heavily with her she looks at it, and when a petal drops she cuts things off. This flower is set up to represent Jane, and shows that by making out with this guy Jane is loosing something, she’s going too far. Not exactly the best symbolism to launch at us right after another character actually gives us the “having sex makes you worth less as a person” monologue. 

Now, I’m okay with the character feeling this way if the show admits at some point that her mindset is unhealthy-- because seriously, if she’s so caught up in this virgin thing that she’s got the flower framed, she’s probably too caught up in it to have a healthy relationship with sex within marriage either. The problem with the flower or gum monologue is that there is no metaphorical equivalent of getting married for a chewed piece of gum. It’s value is diminished no matter what the context it was chewed in, and it’s a documented fact that some girls internalize this teaching so much that they still feel like they’ve lost something of themselves when they have sex within marriage. And it’s okay if the character feels this way and they address it, but I’m not going to be impressed if this character ever gets married and there isn’t backlash from this teaching without a whole lot of character development between now and then. Someone tell me if the show is worth my time and addresses the psychological implications in its premise or if it just glosses over this as if the chewed gum monologue is a healthy way to teach abstinence. 

Anyways, cut to some guy having a conversation with his wife. Now, she says one line that kind of rings the, “Maybe this person is a bit greedy” alarm bell that the only people who feel guilty about taking money are the ones who have too much, but this woman is labelled as his wife and she tells him to calm down and gets on her knees... cut from blowjob to the on-screen text calling her a “maneater”. Hilarious blowjob pun on the surface, considering the show then indicates that the man is unhappy in this relationship... but we haven’t seen that much yet, so this line not-so-subtly connects the fact this girl is a bad person with the fact she gives her own husband blowjobs before she even does anything bad. I mean, maybe it was just a blowjob pun and this girl is going to be a great person, but blowjobs are not the first thing I think of when I see the word “maneater”, it’s literally a word for slut, and it’s a word for women taking advantage of men without caring about them. Considering this show has already given us a speech of “virginity good, sex bad”, this scene gives me the impression that going forward the show will be reinforcing the opinions of the characters, not just representing characters with these opinions. Because Virgin Protagonist Good, Blowjob Lady Bad. 

Next concern comes in the show introducing a lesbian character. Now, representation is great... but the first impression we get of her wife is that the wife is loose (she’s having an affair). Then our lesbian character whose been cheated on makes a huge medical error that causes problems for our protagonist. Not to say that lesbians aren’t people who make mistakes just like all other people, especially (in terms of the doctor) when they have a good reason to be upset and off their game... but I’m not super impressed that within its first ten minutes the show is 2/2 on lesbian characters doing bad things. And honestly this kind of also connects to the umbrella of “Bad Women Have Sex” because these are two married lesbians.

Next comes what I was expecting, which is the character realizing there’s a misunderstanding... and the show goes, “Alas, it was too late”. Except, it wasn’t. Plan B... like, exists. Call Jane back, tell her immediately that she was mixed up with another patient, give her the pill, and the egg would be prevented from implanting. So this kind of connects back, for me, to the idea that once you have sex you’re a damaged person that the show has shown us so far. 

Beyond that, the show loses basically all of the doubt I was giving it for happening to make a character making a mistake whose a lesbian, because instead of calling Jane right back and trying to fix the problem, our lesbian doctor starts looking for a lawyer. Sorry, you just went from “character making an understandable mistake” to “character being a terrible person”. We do get another lesbian introduced here, though, so at least it’s now only 2/3 at the moment for bad people lesbians... no wait, the ex here tells her not to say anything because she could lose her license instead of, “Hey, you know, maybe don’t wreck a person’s life to try to protect yourself from a medical malpractice suit over medical malpractice you actually committed.” Maybe I’m having a strong reaction here because I’m childfree and afraid of pregnancy, but seriously, I’m counting this as 3/3 terrible lesbians here. 

And don’t get me wrong, I get that this is jumping through loops because the point of the show is a virgin pregnancy and it wouldn’t happen if these characters did the compassionate thing... but seriously, you had to introduce four people being dicks in the first episode when any of them could have been men, and you made all of them women and one of them a lesbian. Well, I mean, there was a dude who was a dick when the sperm-sample guy mistook Jane for someone he saw at a strip club but honestly, while I get her being insulted he thought she was a stripper, but it’s honestly that much a dick move. A stripper isn’t a bad person or anything... but this show is treating all sexual women as bad women so far so that kind of fits in with all that bad impression.

And honestly it just keeps going in introducing sexual women and then indicating they’re bad women. Jane’s mom checks out a guy on the bus and then goes off about how “slutty Crystal” is cheating and sending nudes. 

And now we’re back to Shitty Doctor and she’s literally told the father before she’s told Jane and MY GOD LADY YOU JUST REALLY HAVE TO BE THE WORST POSSIBLE PERSON IN THIS SCENARIO DON’T YOU? She does at least offer an abortion pill very chill and nonchalantly, which is honestly more than I expected of this show at this point... 

Okay, so her boyfriend proposes despite their timeline, which makes me lose a little respect for him... but to be honest, I do think it’s a realistic portrayal of a virgin-until-marriage relationship for the most part. A lot of religious abstinence-only young people do marry early in part because of the no-sex-before-marriage thing. Even if he says that’s not it. There’d be no reason not to stick to the timeline, really, if they can’t raise kids right this moment (because like, he don’t know she pregnant), except so they can start having sex. 

I was ready to give this show some credit for showing Jane thinking about it and talking to her boyfriend before deciding about the abortion, but while I’m totally okay with the character deciding to keep the baby because that’s her choice... I am kind of disapproving of the fact that actually it starts right in on the idea 

Oh, and it turns out Jane’s mom got pregnant as a teenager for “being irresponsible” (Jane’s words, but still, the show has very much aligned us with her here as the straight man, and she literally says she doesn’t want to turn out like her mom) and “grandma made you [have me]”. And we’ve seriously moved into anti-abortion and punish-kids-with-pregnancy area here. Loosely, not as heavy-handed as the “sex is bad, virginity good” theme that the show has been hammering. 

And then we have the sperm-donor and his wife literally deciding they want the child before Jane even decides if she’s going to keep the child, let alone if she’s decided she wants a complete stranger in her child’s life just because it was his sperm. And now that they’d meeting, I’m realizing that telling the dad not only what happened but Jane’s name was a huge illegal privacy breech. Seriously, if this lady doesn’t get her license revoked by the end of this I’m going to scream... And like, by the time he tracks her down, she might’ve already had an abortion and he just like... assumes she hasn’t? I dunno, I’m just getting the jeebies from the way this subject is being handled. I’m glad she did actually consider it fully, it wasn’t just “Hey, I’m glad I wasn’t aborted so I won’t abort”. Like, she’s thought this through a lot. 

“You didn’t drop the cancer card”. First off, at least props to him for not doing that. She doesn’t owe him a biological child just because it’s his only chance and I’m glad that the show has kind of shown that. Given, I’m still seething about the fact that he even had the tools (name) to track her down... But in this same scene, we definitely learn Petra is a maneater in the non-punny sense of the word. And a gold-digger. So yeah, still pretty much all for all on sexual women getting a bad name here...

URG. Grandma on the other hand, did not think this through. She’s doing the whole “I’m glad you weren’t aborted so you can’t abort this baby will be the best part of your life!” thing. And we don’t address the fact Grandma was snooping in Jane’s room and feels personally fucking betrayed by what she thinks Jane chose to do with her own damn body. 

“I’ll convince your brother not to report you to the medical board.” UMMM JANE CAN/SHOULD DO THAT TOO. SHE’S THE ONE WHO’S PREGNANT NON-CONSENSUALLY. HELLO. 

“I want to support you no matter what, but I don’t want to support you with another guy’s kid.” Sorry, but this was Artificial Insemination Rape here. I mean, I’m glad this asshole showed his feathers and will be gone from her life, but seriously. His girlfriend basically has a rape baby and he’s telling her that if she doesn’t abort it he doesn’t want to be with her... god. I mean, I would break up with him and then abort it, to be honest, if I were her, but. Look, I’m just pissed that they’re representing the one pro-abortion argument besides Jane’s, who we know preemptively is going to be convinced away from because that’s the whole point of the show, by this absolute asshole just being an asshole. Jane says “Of course I get why” but like... you really shouldn’t. You really, really shouldn’t. You are the victim here of medical malpractice, and he can either treat the kid like his own if you chose to have it or he’s an asshole. DNA don’t mean shit. You didn’t cheat, so there shouldn’t be a problem. (Further convinced this guy proposed for sex, btw).

Just on a completely separate note here than the “sex bad, virgin good” thing this whole thing has going on... I’m not particularly impressed that this show broke up two interracial couples in the first episode. Nothing much to say on that, just... I dunno, with having three terrible lesbians and now this, just... not impressed. And then got them back together after we already know they’re unhealthy relationships... *sigh*

Positives: POC represent. (And I know it’s weird to put this as an end note after talking about how I think certain things the Latino characters are spouting which is probably a realistic thing... my problem isn’t that, it’s how the universe of the show in general appears to align with what they say and tell us that thematically we should be aligning with the things they’re saying.) That there are lesbian characters at all. And to be fair there is still the one thing against my read of “sex bad” in that Jane does get pregnant despite doing “everything right”, which is almost a hint of a subversion of the “sex uses you up” theme. Characters having opinions is fine, my only issue is that the show seems to be aligning us with some pretty toxic opinions, 

So just... someone tell me if the “sex bad” message gets better or not.

[girlreviewsgirlmovies]

Sierra Burgess is a Loser

This movie could have been so much better, and that hurts more than if it was just bad. 

It opens with Sierra getting ready for the day, which is honestly so common in these types of movies it could be a trope. She has a moment where she compliments herself in the mirror in this bit which I think was well-placed seeing what comes next: we do see a single hint that maybe she’s not as confident as she’s about to seem for the next bit of the movie. We head off to school with her and meet the Plastics-- I know, I know, but that’s what I’m calling them for now, because it has that cliche trio of alpha bitch and two worker bees that is so darn common in teen movies these days. Veronica is shown to target Sierra right from the start, but then we come to Sierra and the movie’s first big “could have been good but wasn’t” aspect comes up.

Sierra is shown as quite confident in the face of Veronica’s bullying. She puts on a face like it doesn’t hurt her. I loved that! I found it so refreshing because so many movies in this genre show unpopular people defining themselves by the popular people. Despite that first interaction and what happens later, this bit of the movie establishes Sierra as not one of those characters. Veronica is an annoyance in her life, but not one that she ever seems actively hurt by. I loved this... right up until we get told by the movie later on that Sierra is not that person. Of course, just like Veronica, she can have her game-face, she can pretend things don’t hurt her... but the movie isn’t nearly as clear about what’s real for Sierra as it should be. They needed to pick a direction, and they didn’t. They could have shown Sierra confident in the face of her bullies but breaking down after, but nothing like this ever happens.

And this is a huge problem in light of how the movie progresses. Veronica gives a guy Sierra’s number, they text all night, they start to like each other, they call... I can only just buy this in light of the person Sierra was shown to be, even despite that first little bit of the movie, but only because we didn’t see the conversation and I told myself, “Okay, Sierra must have not realized he thought he was texting someone in particular right away.” Then she figures out it’s Veronica he’s texting, and things go a little wonky.

Sierra enlists Veronica to help her, and I think this is the strongest aspect of the movie. Actually, this middle bit with Veronica is almost worth the pain of the bad bits. I won’t talk about the arc in detail, but I will just say that there’s nothing that’s done wrong. There are places it could have gone for tell don’t show, and it didn’t. Veronica and Sierra start to have a wonderful friendship while tricking this guy and it’s adorable. They both make each other better. The only character development in the whole movie rests in these bits. If it weren’t for the romantic window dressing of the situation that pretends to be the movie’s focus, this could’ve been an awesome movie just based around how a situation like this brought these two girls together.

There’s a lot of little things in this bit that are so good to me, mostly between the girls. Veronica’s home life was given the exact treatment I think it needed, and just un-cliche enough that it felt fresh (she’s not the first popular girl from a broken home but the trend does tend towards rich popular kids, especially since Mean Girls), and her mother is shown as living vicariously through her daughters’ youth in a way that really criticizes “beauty before brains” mindset as coming from parents raising their kids wrong. I dunno, I just really think this middle bit is the strongest part of the movie. 

Eventually, Sierra starts calling Veronica “Ronnie”, it’s very sweet. They take lots of selfies, confess things to each other... this is the kind of content I really come to girly movies for, not the romance, not really.

And then we come to another problematic aspect of the movie: the kiss scene. I’ll be honest, I fast-forwarded through this bit because it was just so painful to watch. I haven’t mentioned this yet, but the catfishing came to a level where Veronica was faking a date with Sierra in the wings giving her lines, there’s a few good moments for their friendship where Veronica says that Jamie would like her Sierra and that Sierra’s presence in her life has made her finally consider her own future properly and says that Sierra should be a singer... and eventually Jamie leans in for a kiss. Instead of dealing with the catfishing problem-- we all knew that wasn’t going to happen-- the lines of consent are crossed and Ronnie asks Jamie to close his eyes, and Sierra kisses him. He tries to open them, and she shoves her hand on his face and tells him to keep them closed-- this was very uncomfortable and violent imo. Girl on guy consent-crossing is not any better than the opposite. I should have seen it coming with the catfish theme and the way things were progressing but I was not ready for such a violation from our “hero”. This is the first bit where I felt I was losing my suspension of disbelief regarding her being the “hero” of this story. Yes, even after all the catfishing, I was still with it. The circumstances were strange, but I could see this happening... you know how a lie gets bigger and bigger as you maintain it, that’s how I felt Sierra had progressed into this catfishing, and that was somewhat forgivable. I was on board for redemption for the bad things she was doing, but here I thought, “No. No way.”

Then we come to this party, Sierra gets drunk blah blah, Ronnie is told not to hang out with her blah blah... there’s this bit where Ronnie’s college boyfriend who she’s been studying to impress shows up. I definetly make a squeaking noise of excitement when he said, “I saw your post” and she just lit up and said “The Hamlet one?” Despite the fact her studying was driven out of impressing him, honestly I think that line sounded a whole lot like she was proud of herself for making that progress, that this is something she’s started to enjoy. Her character development is A+ here. Anyways, the guy takes advantage of her naiivity to sleep with her and dumps her over DM the next day, and Ronnie goes to Sierra for comfort (awww!)...

Eventually, we come to the third-act misunderstanding that everyone saw coming where the situation comes to a head. Well, I say everyone saw coming: everyone saw there would be a third-act misunderstanding, but the direction it takes manages to be both out of nowhere and unsurprising at the same time. The homecoming game (I assume) happens, Sierra is there with marching band, Veronica is here to be a cheerleader, and Jamie is there as the opposing team’s quarterback. Jamie obviously kisses Veronica when he sees her, she pushes him away but only after Sierra who was watching unbeknownst to them pushes Jamie away...

... and Sierra, who has shown very little cruel tendencies up to this point (besides the whole consent issue), decides to humiliate Veronica in front of everyone by hacking into her social media and showing the whole school Veronica got broken up with over DM. Nevermind the fact this would not be the social murder the movie portrays it as-- just humiliating for Veronica but I don’t think anyone else would have noticed... in the fallout, the fact that Veronica and Sierra have been playing with him is revealed to Jamie, and Veronica has this bit where she says to Sierra “you think I’m mean but you should look in a mirror” which seems to come from an earlier form of the script or something because it’s basically a rewording of Mean Girls’ “You Cady are a mean girl” and no movie attempting that theme will ever be as striking as the masterwork so they should stop trying. Besides the rip-offiness of it, it just doesn’t fit. The only mean thing Sierra has really done is the catfishing and the bad touch kiss, and she’s never really shown to hate Veronica for being mean and at this point they’ve been legitimate friends for half the movie. Where did Sierra’s cruelty come from?? Why is it getting this response? This scene just doesn’t fit the movie at all. It was like I’d switched channels into Mean Girls 2 or something, but I hadn’t. 

And then she gets home and snaps at her parents for being beautiful in a move that has no previous indication throughout the movie she feels this way. This movie needs to know the difference between showing and telling, because in the climax, it tells us one thing about the characters even though it’s shown us another for 50 minutes or so. 

And then comes my next complaint: Sierra writes her song (which was good, don’t get me wrong, if its use was terrible) and everyone suddenly goes “oh poor sierra she deserves forgiveness and a happy ending because her life is just so hard because she’s so ugly” (seriously, the song is about how she’s not conventionally beautiful and how hard that is for her and everyone just forgives her for playing with their lives), and gets off scott free. It wasn’t even a proper apology! Jamie takes her to the prom because Veronica explains on her behalf, and roll credits. 

There are a few other miscellaneous complaints-- we have a gay black best friend (yeah, couldn’t just chose one stereotypical minority type of best friend for their one-dimensional support character!), for some reason Stanford is implied to not be interested in a white legacy girl who has near perfect SAT scores and parents with money to pay her tuition (like, I know maybe she wouldn’t get a scholarship with her amount of community involvement but seriously her dad is famous and a Stanford graduate, she just needs the minimal submission requirement and she’d fucking get in!) And I was also not impressed by the whole “why does everyone think I’m a lesbian” joke. Like... it just... wasn’t funny... and they hit it three or four times. She never does anything lesbian-y and I was sitting here like, “Are you saying lesbians are unattractive girls?”???  A few other details here and there in dialogue and the like were weaker too.

I did laugh so hard I spilled a glass of water over when she signed her name is “Shit Pizza” though. So there’s that. 

There were so many individual aspects of this movie that I just loved, but as a whole it just didn’t work together. In my opinion, the whole movie needed refocusing to go from passable to actually good. Instead of the third-act misunderstanding going the way it did, I think the movie could have been saved by shifting the focus. Use the catfishing as a tool to connect the two girls and write a friendship plot. Let Sierra face the consequences of playing around with Jamie and have him not be interested in her because she hurt him, and let the real prize be the friendship she made along the way. And remove the whole “Sierra betrays Ronnie” bit because it came out of nowhere, have it be a more realistic confrontation between them for the kiss that doesn’t involve such an uncharacteristic behaviour, remove the Mean Girls shit, and then end on Ronnie and Sierra going stag together to homecoming. Or maybe turn it into a romance between them, because god knows we need more LGBTQA+ romances in film. Doing something that like that and doing another pass of the script for making sure what they show matches up with what they tell could have saved this movie.

But they didn’t, so it hurts to know that they almost made a good story but fell just short of doing anything truly noteworthy. Overall, the content was basically passable, but there were some problematic points that I think didn’t belong and the ending fell flat.