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If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

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INTJ and ENFP go to a concert:

INTJ: *puts in earplugs*

ENFP: *standing up and screaming for the artist*

INTJ: “You’re the reason I need these”

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INTJ and ENFP go to an amusement park:

ENFP: *screaming and laughing*

INTJ: *straight faced*

ENFP getting concerned INTJ isn’t having a fun: “are you having a good time?????”

INTJ: “I’m having a great time! did I forget to warn you about my amusement park face? This is me having fun”

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INTJ and ENFP talking about word association:

INTJ: Tundra

ENFP: In a hunger games sort of way?

INTJ: No… like is it hot? Cold? Rain? A lot of trees?

ENFP: oh it’s hot…

INTJ: okay cool that’s what I thought-

ENFP: BUT THERE’S LOTS OF TREES AND THERE’S ACID RAIN

INTJ: *faceplam*

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INFP and ENFP making plans on text:

INFP: Would you want to go get waffles?

ENFP: OMG YOU READ MY MIND!! PICK ME UP!!

INFP: *being introverted* I meant more like next month

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INTJ and ENFP eating together:

INTJ: What’s the weirdest way you can spell milk?

ENFP: Mealk, wbu?

INTJ: *with a straight face* Potato

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INTP and ENFP walking around the mall

INTP: *rambling about a video they saw*

ENFP: *gets distracted by a person walking past them* HEY RANDOM PERSON I LIKE YOUR HAIR!!

INTP: *looks at ENFP* you’re wonderful

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Honestly think that Spencer Reid is an ass man. Change my mind.

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so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

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every episode of criminal minds

lady: walking down dark alley slowly and alone (everything a woman would never do)

white guy in hoodie: hey

lady: AHH

white guy in hoodie: u look like my mom *stabs her* *takes her toes*

—

emily: and then i got drunk and slammed that bitch’s head into the bar counter

derek: haha thats great-

jj: its a bad one *hands out files*

emily: let me eat you out

(in the conference room)

jj: so yeah this guy stabs ladies. but now, he takes their toes

spencer: hes escalating

hotch: 😡😡😡 wheels up in 30

(zoom in on the plane)

jj: if when you do, but i cannot for the yes of he was what i no 💖 -lil huddy

(in the plane)

emily: sexual sadist

spencer: the history of toes is actually a long starting with the ancient indians they used to-

derek: dont make me put ur head through the plane window pretty boy. although i know you would love that

spencer: 😳😑

garcia on the phone: okay so i made a list of all the white guys in arizona.

derek: i want to taste ur guts

garcia: impale me with ur cock

hotch: thanks garcia 😡😡😡

—

detective alzhiemers: we spoke on the phone and i invited u here but i just want u to know i dont trust a single fucking thing you say. wow agent jareau u got that barbie doll build.

hotch: 😡 where can we set up

(at the crime scene)

rossi: 👁👄👁 he took their toes. but u can see the bone here.

(camera zooms in on derek)

derek: *takes off his sunglasses* *flexes* hes devolving

(at the m.e)

doctor dr. : so basically he kills them. u can see because theyre dead. he takes their toes but its sloppy.

emily: he must be doing it because he doesnt have any toes.

reid: *calling garcia* we need a list

(music escalates)

—

spencer: yeah so basically hes white and a sexual sadist

hotch: mid 30s, his mother didnt love him

emily: HES IMPOTENT because his girlfriend cut off his balls

derek: and he does not have toes. we gotta catch him fast. *picks up a call from garcia*

jj: i will be telling the press so we can get calls about men without toes.

garcia: hey my 12 inch bad dragon dick. i found him- Ben Serialkiller, 54 creep lane. born without toes, his mom kicked him out when he was 5.

derek: thanks babygirl. remind me to kiss ur feet tonight.

rossi: god am i old enough to die

detective alzheimers: actually i think youre completely wrong.

emily: we dont fucking care shut up limpdick

other cops: okay we believe you now

—

(in a dark basement)

spencer: Ben, i get it. u dont have to kill these women. *puts the gun down and takes off kevlar for no fucking reason* my mom tried to kill me too. but im not a serial killer.

white guy in hoodie: you dont get it.

rossi: you dont want to kill her. we can let the world know of your struggle, ben. we will teach them of a world with men without toes.

white guy in hoodie: okay i guess. *lets go of lady* *cries*

hotch: 😡😡😡 *cuffs him*

—

morgan, on the jet: u did good today, kid.

reid: thanks. i wonder what my life would be like if i didnt have 3 lifetimes of trauma on my 27 year old back.

morgan: hahaha

emily, joining in: hahahaha. loser

hotch: 😡😡😡 i wish i had emotions

jj: i miss my kids

emily: can we fuck yet

jj: fine i guess

(picture of the sky)

rossi: And in the end, if I eated soap, no I didnt because I yes ✨ -hitler

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Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader)

Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?

Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, sexual situations, the usual criminal minds-type content

A/N: wow I’ve been on this site for ages, nearly as long as Criminal Minds was on air, lol, but this is my first fic posted here. I plan to make this one into a few parts if people like it. If this has any relation to other fics it’s not intended. Literally just an idea that popped in my brain. I’ll also eventually add it to my wattpad .@ kittentastic

Word Count: 3,119

Chapter 1.  Chapter 2.  Chapter 3.  Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7. Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.  Chapter 11.

It was an average, lonely, autumn night. Halloween was nearing and you didn’t have anywhere to be. Long estranged from the people you once called family, and friends, you were starting a new life in L.A. 

Yeah, you were one of those small-town girls with big-city dreams. You wanted to be an actress, a dream your father had once encouraged. When he suddenly died, you had nothing but a new step-mother who discouraged your dreams and was more than happy to disown you when you reached 18 years of age. A classic Cinderella story.

It had taken a while, getting yourself through university and saving up enough money to move out to L.A. Now you were 27 and living your dreams…partly. 

You worked at a coffee shop in Hollywood; a great way to meet people that could potentially cast you in a big production, but that plan had yet to come to fruition. Every audition would have someone else in mind for the part.

Today, you had finished yet another round of auditions for everything from small commercial bits to tv shows. You poured yourself a glass of red wine after finishing your microwavable meal-for-one dinner. Wine would always be your go-to drink after your dissappointing days, it was great at helping you sleep. You clicked on the tv and sipped your drink from your criss-crossed sitting position and soon found a Criminal Minds marathon that was just starting. It almost seemed like fate as tomorrow you had an audition lined up for the very same show. 

You smiled as bright, happy, Penelope Garcia came into the shot, followed by the rest of the BAU. You absentmindedly bit your lip as Dr. Spencer Reid came into frame. 

Like a large percentage of the show’s viewership, you found the handsome genius slipping into one or two of your fantasies. You may have daydreamed about the Dr. being a real person and walking into your workplace to order coffee and whisk you off your feet. You may have also woken up from a few dreams involving the handcuffs he was currently restraining an unsub with.

You wondered if you would get the part. Would it be odd having to pretend this dream-man was real? You’d hope you could contain your blushing around Matthew at least. 

You finished your drink and stretched out on the couch, already feeling your eyes growing heavy. You found your mind wandering as you grew more and more tired, hardly paying attention to the episode. The last thought you had before you drifted off was, “what if Spencer Reid was a real person?”

************************************************************************

Keep reading

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Beyonce really said “ten times out of nine I know you’re lying” like yas queen of improper fractions

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i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account

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the shape of water receives praise from both audiences and critics alike, even managing to win best picture (2017) (colourised)