gocdgraces

[gocdgraces]

Every interaction she'd had so far had been a guessing game. Would they act normal around her or would they start stammering over their words and find an excuse to leave? So far, so good. "Guess we're meant to hide out together then," she offered with a slight smile. Maybe having someone act somewhat normally would save her from the overwhelming feeling of discomfort. "Uh, no," she started, finding the suggestion a little odd. "I haven't. I'm guessing they're good? Or are you mentioning them because that was your contribution?" Maybe she shouldn't judge him for it too quickly. "I had some of the macaroni salad earlier. It was alright. Though they went a little too heavy with the onion and now I feel like I'm offending everyone with my breath or something." Any explanation was better than the one she currently had; that people were simply avoiding her for her.

his   hand   slowly   drops   from   his   heart.   whitney   stands   inches   in   front   of   him,   equal   parts   familiar   &   peculiar.   he   doesn't   want   to   frighten   her   with   silent   staring,   so   he   clears   his   throat.   ❝   no,   that's   on   me.   just,   uh—   well,   stuck   in   my   own   head   too.   ❞   an   inward   wince   as   he   echoes   her   exact   words   back   to   her.   smooth.   ❝   have   you   tried   the…   ❞   he   peeks   over   her   shoulder,   willing   to   name   the   first   dish   he   sees.   ❝   –sandwiches…?   ❞

[gocdgraces]

Seeing him there hurt more than anything because it meant that he was willing to return. He just hadn't been willing to do it for her. She froze in place as he started walking towards her, eyes staring straight ahead in what was really only a battle on her end. "I liked you better when you were a hallucination," she told him. "Clearly you thought you were hallucinating too with the way you look like you've seen a ghost." Whitney studied his face now that he was close enough. It was funny how everything seemed the same yet somehow completing different. There was a line that hadn't been there. A different feeling to his overall demeanor. "I should be the one saying that to you. You made it very obvious that I wouldn't be seeing you here. What was it again? Stepping foot back in this town would cause you to... lose yourself? You would simply cease to exist in this place? And there was my personal favorite, of course. You telling me there was nothing for you here." She blatantly scanned him up and down before locking eyes once more. "And yet... You seem just fine to me. Weird."

"if i was a hallucination," gabe said conversationally as he turned to face her. it was like seeing a ghost. he underestimated how it would feel like a cold weight dropping into his gut as he stared down the woman he once thought he'd spend the rest of his life with. he nearly choked on the ashes of his cigarette as he took her in. she looked perfectly fine. if he hadn't read the obituary himself after seeing the frantic facebook posts from her siblings, he would have thought he'd imagined it. coughing to clear his lungs and forcing his eyes not to water, he continued. "would i be able to do this?" he took one step towards her. then another. the toes of his sneakers nudged hers. "hey." he still held the cigarette loosely between two fingers, forgotten as it burned out. his eyes flicked over her face, brow slightly furrowed, while his teeth worried his bottom lip. "long time, no see."

[gocdgraces]

While she used to love town-wide events, ever since returning a few years ago, Whitney found herself dreading them. The small talk. The whispering. It all seemed to get worse as time went on, and today, she felt like everyone around her was in on some secret that she didn't know. It made the whole thing feel ostracizing. Sitting on the sidelines, she tried to get her thoughts straight again and was pulled back into reality by the person sitting down next to her. It seemed like they were having a similar experience. "I get it," she told them honestly. "Everyone's been looking at me too. Turning to whisper to the person beside them when I walk up. I was starting to think I accidentally offended the whole town or something." Whitney wondered if Marrow just got incredibly judgmental and exclusionary when she spent the few years away. "Looks like you need the hiding spot just as much as I do. Think we can get away with staying here the whole night?" Maybe they'd be able to avoid the rest of the event altogether.

open to. all, no reply cap for now ! setting. the sanctuary church, outdoors, perhaps on a bench or something outside, nightfall.

      all at once, everything seemed to have imploded in on itself, at least in bellamy's mind. too hot, too cold, too many voices, not enough, everyone was too close and yet, still far away, unreachable, despite being in their perview. never mind the resounding thud within their brain, pulsing at their temples with a dull ache, forcing their gate to transform into something closer to a stumble and eventual fall upon a stone bench. " i'm fine — i'm fine. " the repetition more so for themselves, but eyes had already been on them all day - the least they could do was provide some semblance of an explanation. " it was just ... too much, being there, everyone starin' like i'm some sort of ghoul. christ. i'm okay. " their fingers curled against the edges, the cool stone washing relief over a frazzled mind. " ——— did i take your hiding spot ? "

[gocdgraces]

It felt like there were two versions of her at the potluck that day. One that had been born and raised around events like these. A girl who could smile, make small talk, and bullshit with the best of them. The other was one who no longer felt comfortable at home. A girl who was doing everything in her power to blend into the background, only showing up long enough so that people could confirm she was there and not include her in the town gossip when they inevitably badmouthed the ones who refused to show up. Whitney was standing by the food, forcing herself to pile up her plate to continue the act of perfect towns-person. "Huh?" It took a second to register what she was being asked, eyes darting from the dish to the person standing beside her. "Oh. Uh, no. I didn't notice who put them down." She took a scoop of the mac and cheese before leaning in a little closer to investigate the ribs. "I guess they're worth a shot? Worst that can happen is you take a bite and refuse to take another, right?"

he had every intention of staying home tonight; of staying as far away from whatever trouble he was sure would brew with the entire town gathered like this. but who was he to deny one of his mother's few and far between requests? so, he instead finds himself standing trancelike over the buffet table, plate empty in hand, suspicion marring his expression. his stomach pangs with hunger. "hey, you wouldn't happen to know who brought the ribs?"

[gocdgraces]

Inside the church seemed like the safest bet sometimes. Most of the event goers were milling about outside, but very few seemed to gather up the courage to actually duck inside. There, amongst the quiet, it was easier for Whitney to gather herself. To focus on something that wasn't the growing headache or the way everyone seemed to be in on the same inside joke or gossip that had her in the spotlight. She'd just reached a point of semi-relaxation when the familiar voice hit hers ears, causing what felt like a rush of freezing water to wash over her. "Surely you're a hallucination. Maybe it's heatstroke. Am I dying? Is this what it feels like to be pulled down beneath the Earth's very crust?" As she spoke, she forced herself out of the corner she'd been hiding in to approach the man she hadn't seen, or heard from, in almost five years. "What happens if I refuse to follow you to the afterlife? Will they send someone else? Will you morph into some other blast from the past? Not the smartest move shapeshifting into you first."

this is a load of bullshit. gabe's been home back in marrow all of 48 hours and his skin is practically itching to get the fuck out of here. hilariously, he finds himself ducking inside the church, like he didn't abandon this place faster than he abandoned marrow itself. but watching people who were supposed to be dead walking around like nothing happened at all and the new faces trying to blend in like they belong. it's quieter in here and gabe knows all of the best hiding spots. he had his first kiss inside one of the confessional booths and hooked up with a girl on the altar during a class retreat, so there's some comfort in these hallowed halls. he walks down the center aisle and lights up a cigarette, even though that's probably frowned upon. he jumps at the voices. everything echoes in here. "shit. if you wanted one you could've asked."

[gocdgraces]

She'd been spending her time on the outskirts, trying to keep in shaded areas as much as she could. The heat from the afternoon had been hitting her more than it usually did. "Are we supposed to be experiencing a heatwave or something," she questioned out loud, not really talking to anyone in particular. When she realized Roya had been half listening, she focused on her now. "Don't worry about it." Whitney waved a hand as if to show that it was no big deal. At the question, she absentmindedly looked around. It was full of people she knew, but she felt like an outsider. "It's... nice? Feels like I'm a tourist or something though." If one more old friend looked at her like she had two heads, she'd probably scream.

open to. all, no reply cap for now ! setting. the sanctuary church, mid-potluck, late afternoon.

      call it some extreme form of exposure therapy, perhaps that was the only viable explanation as to why she'd walked over, crisped up shepherd's pie in hand, blackened crust with nothing but a wandering mind to blame. the mind - or rather, mindlessness - was why she did nothing but prod at her full plate now, spokes of her fork poking at the food as if they were mere playthings, with surfaces of each piece pruning with time that left them all untouched. roya hardly realized she was staring until their voice finally hit her eardrums. a jolt, now finally awake. " merde, i'm sorry, i didn't realize, i — " words rattled in quick succession, frantically spilling through cracked lips. " are you enjoying ? the gathering, i mean. "

[gocdgraces]

One thing Whitney knew for sure was that she was completely over this whole town bonding thing and it wasn't even close to an acceptable time to call it a night. The amount of strange looks that had been sent her way were enough to send anyone into a spiral. Did she somehow offend the entire town? "Wait- Are you in my head?" The voice that interrupted her own thoughts almost seemed like they were still a part of her. Like her anxiety come to life. "Did you somehow piss off the whole town too? Feels like I can't even breathe right."

ᯓ      open      starter      —      unlimited      replies      ｡  ᯓ      6:30      P.M.      ＠      santuary      church (indoors)      ｡

an   internal   investigation   is   in   order.   after   worming   her   way   into   a   third   table   and   having   everyone   fall   silent   for   a   third   time,   aspen's   had   enough.   she's   retreated   to   a   quiet   part   of   the   church   house,   nose   buried   in   her   phone.   ❝   i   mean,   realistically—   ❞   hums   of   her   inner   monologue   escape   into   a   room   she   thought   to   be   empty,   ❝   what   could   i   have   done?   ❞

[gocdgraces]

Whitney didn't know why, but everything seemed just a tiny bit off. The people who stared at her like they'd seen a ghost. The way certain cliques seemed to form at the cookout. People she once knew, and considered close friends, were now slyly turning their backs to her so they could whisper something she couldn't really make out. It almost seemed like they were banding together to get her to leave town, but no, that couldn't be it. Right? The discomfort was why she'd been hiding in the shadows, trying to avoid most of the people around her. "Shit, sorry!" Her hand instinctively went out to make sure he was still steady on his feet. "I'm just... stuck in my own head, I guess," she attempted to explain. "You okay?"

ᯓ      open      starter      —      unlimited      replies      ｡  ᯓ      5:18      P.M.      ＠      santuary      church      ｡

i   shouldn't   be   here.   it's   all   kiwoo   can   think,   overlooking   what   may   as   well   be   a   sea   of   ghosts.   a   mirror   of   his   prior   thoughts;   they   shouldn't   be   here   either.   curiosity   lead   him   to   this   point,   but   self   preservation   threatens   to   spin   him   on   his   heels.   as   he   goes   to   make   the   turn,   he   is   nearly   nose   -   to   -   nose   with   a   familiar   face.   his   heart   leaps.   ❝   jesus,   scared   me.   ❞   he   presses   a   hand   to   his   chest,   willing   his   heart   to   stay   put.

[gocdgraces]

(    samantha logan,  cis-female,  she/her    )    𓉸    marrow's  own  WHITNEY DAWSON,  age  29,  passed  away  on  3/23.  loved  ones  report  that  they  were  extremely  DETERMINED and  express  discontent  with  rumors  that  describe  them  as  BITTER.  according  to  town  gossip,  their  death  was  due  to  LOSING HER BALANCE ON A CLIFF DURING A HIKE  —  which  is  strange,  because  i  could  have  sworn  that  i  saw  them  at  OLIVE BRANCH PARK  last  night.

Basics:

Name: Whitney Jade Dawson

Nickname(s): Whit, Ney, Win

Birthday: November 22nd

Age: 29

Sexuality: bisexual

Occupation: technically, she's a teacher. but being undead kinda changes things around a little

Positives: meticulous, reliable, supportive, proactive, capable

Negatives: controlling, withdrawn, defensive, melancholic, reticent

MBTI: INTJ (architect)

Similar Characters: Kathani Sharma (Bridgerton), Nancy Wheeler (Stranger Things), Sydney Adamu (The Bear), Monica Geller (Friends), Kat Edison (The Bold Type)

Diving Deeper:

imagine  you  can  recount  the  events  of  your  death,  explain  that  day.

"the sound of that stupid alarm clock is still ringing in my ears," she started. "i had thought about staying in. pushing off my plan to hit a newer trail to another day." her head tilts back, eyes closed as an exasperated sigh falls from her lips. "everything was perfect... or as perfect as they could be. the views were gorgeous, the trail quickly shaping up to become a new favorite." having the details brought on a stronger sense of frustration. how could she have been so careless? her siblings had already lost their mom; and dad had been long gone by the time the youngest could walk. the last thing they needed was to bury another loved one. "and i thought that if i took one more small step outwards, just an inch, i'd get a better view. a better look. at what?" whitney's hands go up in defeat. "with the slightest twist of an ankle, that was it. everything came to a crushing halt."

describe  a  key  moment  in  your  muse's  life.

the day it ended. 5 years before she died. she had received a phone call, something so incredibly mundane, that ended up changing her life forever. "we're looking for whitney dawson... is your mother a trinity dawson? ...so sorry for your loss." within 2 short minutes, everything she had been working so hard for and everything she had built for herself was tossed out the window. home she went to marrow. back to her childhood home to finish raising her siblings. no more independence. no more dream. no more love.

select  a  fear  of  your  muse's  &  describe.

not being enough. growing up the oldest of three, whitney had the weight of the world on her shoulders. she was always expected to set a good example, to be perfect. yet, more often than not, she felt like she came just below that perfection. fast forward to having gotten out of her small hometown with the love of her life. while they had their problems, and if she was honest with herself, struggling more than she thought they should, they were making it work. until she had no choice but to leave the life they'd been building to go back home. unfortunately, he refused to go with her and her fear popped back up. she was still not enough. continue along to her now taking on the title of mom. with the mix of teenage angst and grief, she heard a lot of "you're not mom" and "i hate you" while she was more often than not pouring from an empty cup. she wasn't enough for them either. or was this fear all in her head?

Biography:

born and raised in marrow, the eldest of three, whitney felt like she’d been destined to a life of ‘eldest daughter syndrome’ from the start.

when she was 8 years old, she woke to her father kissing her goodbye. her questions were all met with a simple instruction: “take care of your siblings,” so that’s exactly what she did. for a while, whit assumed her dad would be coming back, but at age 13, she accepted that that wasn’t going to happen.

her entire life, whitney was focused on the two younger ones. she helped with homework, kept them on a schedule, showed up to sport games, dance recitals, and every other extracurricular in between.

it wasn't until high school that she allowed herself a chance to have something she wanted. she started thinking more about following her dreams of going to culinary school, maybe getting out of the small town she'd given so much of herself to. it was when she met gabe and fell in love that the rest finally clicked into place.

despite her better judgment of not following a guy to college, she ended up going to the university of maine. for a while, things were going well. she enjoyed her classes, had high hopes for the future, and was happy to agree to a lifetime with the one she loved.

it all came crashing down when she got the call about her mom. it had been unexpected. an illness her body couldn't fight.

and so, whitney was forced to make the most difficult decision of her life. leaving behind the life she'd built for herself, and her fiancé, to return back to marrow so she could take care of her siblings.

five years later, and she found herself stuck. teaching so that she put her degree to some kind of use. bitter that she had been so close to having it all.

and then on one brisk morning in late march, the life she knew came to an end. or did it? truth be told, she can't really remember anything that happened. all she does know is that people keep looking at her strange and no one will give her a direct answer as to why.

Connections:

her 2 younger siblings would be amazing to see!!

since she lived there forever i would loooove some childhood friends, exes, or even enemies!!

teacher buddies?!

possible current hookups/no strings?

unlikely friendships!!

genuinely would just love anything and everything.

[gocdgraces]

OLIVIA BAKER ALL AMERICAN | 6.15 "I Do (Part II)"