public diary?? + poetry dumping grounds(if anyone irl finds this it's over for me i fear)
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after further reflection this might have been a bit of an overreaction
where do middle aged professors get off bullying their like 18 year old first years
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it's summer been a year and some change closer to two really and i miss you i don't think i'll ever stop missing you summer used to be so fun sunny days and misadventures abound and now i spend it thinking i should've spent more time with you
it's crazy you were only really in my life for two years i'll spend more time missing you than knowing you wherever you are, i miss you, i love you, i wish you were here
#idk if this is poetry#it's just what it is#definitely about grief though#same person i've been speaking about for ages#by next year i'll have spent more time without them than i did with them#i remember that summer like a movie#every day i'm glad i forced you to take pictures with me#because at least now i won't forget your face#your voice is already slipping from my mind#i never did have the greatest memory#i miss you
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where do middle aged professors get off bullying their like 18 year old first years
#first years = freshman for u americans#my prof is so mean lowkey#like she's so sensitive and lowkey hates answering questions#its ur fucking job bro#like ik some profs r just here for research BUT SHES TEACHING STREAM#its actually so frustrating#like u never know what question will make her blow up and which she'll answer
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I feel like I'm falling behind
#maybe this is just what your 20s feel like#everyone is moving forward#and im perpetually stuck#i feel like nothing i can do will let me catch up
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the pitt should just be called doctor robby’s terrible horrible no good very bad day
#that's so real#the pitt#dr robby#man is just going through it the entire time#and the shift isn't even over yet
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The “That’s immoral you shouldn’t write that, we need to get that taken down” discourse on tiktok right now is PISSING ME OFFF
Wdym you want censorship for a literal ARCHIVE are you fucking stupid
Ao3 was literally founded to preserve works that were largely getting taken down due to censorship
Censorship is the opposite of what Archive of Our Own stands for
The TAGS and WARNINGS are there for a REASON. Use them and stop complaining
The universal rule—don’t like, don’t read
It’s THAT simple
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no way ppl are using ai to write ao3. what happened to being a tortured writer. what happened to blood on the page. what happened to the ao3 curse. people used to get run over, have their houses burned down, break their entire spines and they still put in the work to finish a chapter. fuck you, using ai. y’all are weak
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I hate men.
#so fucking confusing for no fucking reason#cant say what they mean or mean what they say#pisses me off so bad#act like ur bf and then say “ive never thought about you like that”#FUCK YOU
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crazy that it's january and the winter blues haven't hit me yet
maybe i'm finally better
#is this hope??#i lowkey miss the sadness#it was comforting and predictable#well comforting is the wrong word but like :/#i knew it well#it had followed me for over a decade#and now im left without
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Uncle Gojo!!
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I just don't think that people are capable of crushing on me
meaning, I don't understand why people would like me when there are way prettier girls in our friend group or just around in general
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oh to experience the kind of love that would have you making mixtapes and writing love letters
#i'm yearning#not for someone specific but just someone yk#just want someone to want me back#wish someone would curate playlists for me#music is lowkey my love language ngl#ugh i just feel alone af
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I'm real fucking sick of uni
I hate being so alone all the fucking time
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#tw grief#tw grieving#original poetry#sad poetry#original poem#sad poems#made myself sad#missing you#this one is about grief
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tw grief, tw suicide
a year ago today, my best friend died. they committed suicide. I think I was the last person they ever talked to. it haunts me sometimes, that knowledge.
I don't want to know how the went. i think it would ruin me in ways I do not know how to deal with.
I only hope they're at peace. that they know I love them so much, that a day doesn't go by where I don't think of them. I hope they know how much everyone around them loved them. that we think of them often.
I try to focus on the good. try to remember at their happiest, often when surrounded by friends. I wish I had more videos, so that I could hear their voice just once more. i cherish the few pictures we have. forever grateful that I pushed to take those selfies.
today is hard. and it didn't hit me earlier. i tend to be impulsive when I want to forget. but then I saw a video on grief and it brought me right back to that chemistry classroom where I found out.
I don't know how to deal with this, Carter. I thought I did, but I just miss you. you were a missing piece I didn't know I needed, and you'll never come back.
I try not to dwell on the what-ifs, it never helps. but I wish you were here today. that this day had no significance, was just another november day.
#grief#dealing with grief#got sad#wrote stuff#cried a little#i miss you#i hope you're well#i hope you're at peace#tw grief#tw grieving#tw sui talk
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