godishome

[godishome]

02.08.25

Dear diary, it's been awhile huh? I let you fall to the wayside amidst all my 17 year old angst but guess what! Turning 18 was actually a huge deal!! Everything changed a lot, mostly for the better!!

We live with 🦭 now!! We moved out of state on October 5th and it's been pretty smooth sailing ever since! We broke up with 🌑 and started dating 🕊️ and holy shit life has been so so much better, wish we had done that sooner tbh.

Anyway all this to say, life was worth it and I'm glad you kept living. I probably won't write here much if at all so! Goodbye, diary, I love you!!

[godishome]

9.20.23

Today sucked. Plain and simple. 🌼 was annoying as hell again (thats on me for befriending a freshman but still) and 😇 seems to be getting sick of me and I had a huge rash earlier and fucking. 💢. I asked him this morning to refill the dog food and he made a huge stink about how it was "right there" and how "you can do it yourself" (I can't btw. That thing's almost as heavy as I am.) and then when I told him that reheating the shakshuka or whatever was too much work and I was just going to make the ramen I had Already Brought Down (mind you I thought the other thing was too complicated because of my fucking ARFID, anything it deems Too Complicated (which is already highly inconsistent) I literally cannot eat) and he went on a whole thing about how "it's literally not that complicated, it's the same process, but have it your way. your laziness knows no fucking bounds" and I started crying and I completely ruined me and 🌙's call and I just. ugh.

only good thing from today was 🌙 bought us a Vaporeon plushie which was cool. I'm gonna name her Tuna I think.

[godishome]

9.17.23

Hi diary. Today I kissed so many boys (1 whole boy) and I played games and made birthday plans with the mom. We're going to the powwow for her birthday and 🐧 is gonna be there :] Found our what the bag our knick knacks from 🌙 is, am very stoked.

t-minus 10 days til our birthday

[godishome]

9.15.23

extremely conflicting day!! Had a Lovely Time with 🌙 and 🌑 (see: freaky gay sex) this morning and just generally had a pretty good school day. Actually went to a proper synagogue for the first time (our old congregation would just kinda be held wherever they could manage) so that was nice. Problem was 💢 was The Worst. We were gone all night and he couldn't even be bothered to walk the damn dogs. I'm so tired of him.

✝️ was really annoyed today and she made it everyone's problem. Made a new friend!! 🦎's cool.

[godishome]

9.14.23

Ooookay, long day. For starters, had two tests in Gov today, managed to bring our grade back up. Had therapy, that went well actually. Kristin said she'll buy us lunch for our next session :D Lets see... called with 🌙 like normal, the nice lace jacket thing came in, we look super cool. I'm winning.

[godishome]

9.13.23

Yoooo. Today was fuckin weird. Our school computer was busted all of first block so that wasn't great but then dmad and lunch were super fun. ✝️ moved to our math/lunch block yippie!! She gave us shrimp dumplings and a bit of cookie and it was nice :) Spent some time with 🌙 when we got home, created jello² (hi babe) yknow, the usual. Probably gonna have to do dishes tonight but y'know. Oh 💢 bitched about the cat food in the fridge door again should note that. Ok bye bye

[godishome]

9.12.23

Hello hello!! Today was certainly a day!! We got to keep our phone last night so breakdown avoided yahoo!! Got to call with both 🌙 and 🌑 without them trying to kill each other which was so nice. We finished the Sumeru story quest finally thank fuck. 😭 ordered us ice cream since we're sick :D!! Gonna take a bath tonight :)

[godishome]

9.11.23

Woah, we missed a few days, whoops!! In our defense we have been so ill. We spent a lot of today crying, 💢 and 😭 aren't taking care of us like normal and 💢 was. so pissy this morning when I asked him to handle something for us. It's whatever, nothing I'm not used to. I feel bad though, I get really snappy and cry easy when sick so I've ended up getting bitchy with both 🦭 and 🌙 at different points :( I'll apologize again later. I'll have no wi fi tonight so no sleep music i guess, not unless i want to find a place in skyrim and just stand there on pause all night lmfao. Tonight's gonna suck.

[godishome]

9.8.23

Today was. overwhelming normal. Checked the callback list this morning and we weren't on it so whatever there. It said casting will be announced tonight or next week, all they said was Friday. Had lunch with 🐶 and 💔's sister today which was cool!! Discovered 🍰 literally does not know what sex is which was strange. Skipped the pep rally because it wouldve been hard to leave otherwise. Spending today with 🌙 until Shabbat. OH also theres several branches blocking the driveway from the storm last night whoops.

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Night update. Cast list dropped, we didn't even make ensemble. We cried, whatever. 🌙 silently watched chef skyrim with us and then passed out. i feel like shit but it's Fine we'll be Fine. I just wish the others didn't give me all that "Well you tried and thats what matters" bullshit. Who gives a shit if I tried, I failed. pretty fucking boldly too.

[godishome]

9.7.23

WHOOPS forgot yesterday I'll do that now. We had dance auditions which went really well actually!!! We accidentally befriended 💔's sister but she's nice enough!! I don't think we're getting an important role but idk. We spent time with 🌙 like normal but they fell asleep and 💔 ended up calling with us for a bit which was weird.

[godishome]

9.6.23

I'm so tired. I had vocal auditions for the musical today which was fine i guess. 💢 had another big "respect me as an authority or i won't respect you as a person" freakout. threatened to ground me again like normal. told me i can only respond to him and the mother with "okay" and "yes ma'am/sir" which. I won't be doing. Everyday he gets more and more like 🦴. I guess I should start bracing myself for being locked in a dark room with minimal food and water for another two days since he wants to be just like 🦴 so bad. maybe thats why he wants to adopt me so much, finish the full replica. talking about our future gave 🌙 a panic attack. maybe i should just run away after all. better off alone better off dead and all that. how long until 💢 tells us we're an awful and manipulative child again.

[godishome]

9.5.23

Post school entry, will update with home stuff later. School seemed to be mostly alright, we finished On A Sunbeam and got a new poetry collection to read through but we were really blurry all day and right at the end entered an almost complete dissociative state. I'm gonna blame the lack of sleep for now. 🌙's been working all day so I think we actually spent more time talking with 🦭 than we did them which is rare. I'm really sleepy. The bus ride home is beautiful as always.

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Nighttime update! I fell asleep on call with 🌙 and it was really nice :) The mom texted us to do the cat litter at some point but I was so tired I just went back to bed so. Whoops.

[godishome]

9.4.23

This is technically a day late but whatever. Today was pretty good actually, we woke up kinda late but we spent all day with 🌙 like normal. They bought us a pair of actual doc martins because they were on sale as a birthday gift, the fancy kind with the embroidered roses on the sides. Speaking of birthday gifts, 🦭 asked us about gifts today. They were gonna get us that really cute hate we really like but we can't wear hats so it would've been for nothing. Managed to talk our way into the skyrim tarot deck we've wanted for ages and the balloon dog hair clip which I think is a win. I feel bad asking for more than one item even though I'm sure 🦭 doesn't really mind, especially since. Y'know. Birthday and all. He did say they liked the gift we got them for his birthday, so that's a victory. Oh, and the mom got us McDonalds and we actually spent some time together. We ended up watching the first 2 episodes of b99 again (I am aware it's copaganda but the mom's on a sitcom kick and all of the other options make me want to implode) so that was nice. Spent some time sending 🌙 etsy links until they woke up and they said they loved me when they did so that was nice :)