goldazu

[goldazu]

Hellfire

[Admin!Danny: So… @ruki--mukami ‘s post just awoke something about Priest!Ruki—]

『 It’s not my fault / If in God’s plan / He made the Devil so much stronger than a man 』

[Rustic addition below the cut 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️]

『 Then tell me, Maria

Why I see her dancing there

Why her smoldering eyes just scorch my soul

I feel her, I see her

The Sun caught in her raven hair

Is blazing in me out of all control 』

『 Destroy Esmeralda

And let her taste the fires of Hell

Or else let her be mine and mine alone 』

[goldazu]

Ahhh, I'm really sorry for being inactive again these days, everyone. A lot of crazy and unprecedented events happened this past month and a half for me. Firstly, my family scheduled pretty much all of our floors to be replaced, and so that meant I had to move a lot of furniture, old and new belongings, just boxes and boxes of junk out of the house, and that alone was exhausting. And I hate to admit it, but as someone who lives in a country where the virus is still very much active, I unfortunately caught covid from my work. Ironic, right? I spend a lot of hours working only to finally catch the disease I evaded for over 3 years. :') Thankfully my case is very mild, but even so, I feel awful that I've left a lot of my friends hanging again. I hope to come back soon when I am feeling healthy and like my normal self.

[goldazu]

A king born of blood

Thank you to @sauthorgod ! Who I owe the poem and the story!

Once upon a time, there was a king that lost everything since the day he was born. He lost his parents the very day he came to this damned universe. He was raised by a complete lunatic, his uncle, the supreme leader of his empire. When this king was old enough, at the age of fifteen, he took the crown on his head and swore to protect the lifes of every single soul under his kingdom. It was a dark realm indeed, with dark people, but this particular king had some sort of light. However, one day, those feathered demons appeared claming to be the good ones, they imprisoned his home and let them to die, but this king was smart and careful. Even then, he could bring peace to his people, peace and life. He was happy, he was doing the right thing until he fell and was broken by the most powerful weapon, love. He fell in love and again, he lost, but that loss was different. He wrote on paper his final words finishing with them his mourn and sorrow. He lost his light, he lost his heart, a new vampire was born, a new king, a new god of blood, violence and... lost:

Blood

I don’t even know how to start.

Didn’t even know how to live…since you left

I have fall.

Blood

Not just food, not just lust.

Was the fire in you eyes and the light in our hearts.

Were our hands holding tight and our lips choosing life

Blood

Wasn’t me, it was us.

Wasn’t doom, it was love.

Since you left…I have fall

Without you I’m just dust.

Blood

Since you left… I’m alone

In the nights, on my throne

I’m afraid of my heart getting cold

I can’t age

But I feel old

Blood

I am king, I am god but I could never imagine,

that for you, I’m just love.

All these realms, all these worlds

They’ve lost light, they’ve lost all.

As for me

I’ve lost life

I’ve lost love

Since you left, I’ve lost…

Blood.

[goldazu]

THANK YOU DANNY FOR THE TAG!!

and thank you @/catboyinabox and @/dryams03 for the tags too 🥹

1. YOASOBI — Idol yes, still 🗿

2. The Cardigans — Lovefool

3. Ren Zotto — Wanderer

4. YOASOBI — Idol (English ver) yes I know I’m listening to so much variety rn :rukisweat:

5. PinnochioP — Godish

Honestly everyone I know was probably tagged already so if you see this, go for it 🏃‍♀️✨

5 songs

🎶✨When you get this, you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, publish, then send this ask/tag 10 of your favorite followers  🎶✨ Thank you for the tag Carson, @padmedala. I’ve been liking Tears For Fears lately too. I’ll also look at my On Repeat Spotify playlist because that’s a smart idea. 1. Temporary Fix by One Direction

2. Judas by Lady Gaga (not me screaming to Bad Romance on the radio today)

3. I Don’t Love You by MCR

4. Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift

5. Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles

No pressure tags: @pimplepogue @mychemical-ronance, @kaleidoskuls, @downbytheriversside, @swordsandskeletons, @robinsnance, @mayfieldss @theannoyeddragon82, @she-wont-miss, @themaxbyers

[goldazu]

*rises from the dead for the umpteenth time* i'M ALIVE I SWEAR—

[goldazu]

🌘 Roo Sprite Sheet 🌒

he’s finally real!!!! yippee!!! roo sprite real!!!

original sketch by me :3

digitalization/coloring by aoie.yu on instagram!

[goldazu]

Tea time with Ruki once again 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

[goldazu]

sorry but I'm cackling at how I sent this to myself back when the blog got shadowbanned to test if I could receive it

LIKE PLS SIR WHY ARE YOU STARING MENACINGLY

[goldazu]

OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASSIE!!! I HOPE THAT YOUR NEW AGE WILL BRING YOU LOTS AND LOTS OF JOY AND MORE RUKIS!!!

T_T THANK YOU SO MUCH LILITH, I HOPE SO TOO AND THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY MY SIDE BESTIE, we're gonna ignore how my Ruki obsession and collection only expands exponentially by the second and how my mental age decreases in relation to my true age—

[goldazu]

Ruki tormenting Kino before he goes home 😔

@the-precious-sugar-chan

[goldazu]

T_T OMG LINA PLEASE, I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO THE WORK SCHEDULE ADJUSTMENTS RN, it leaves me feeling exhausted af ngl but PLEASE I WAS NOT EXPECTING SOMETHING THIS CUTE AAAAAAAA also damn that Ruki is doing things to me other than picking me up by the nezumi tail 🏃‍♀️ KFGJHKJF

aNYWAY, THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF MY BESTIES, YOU AND ROX ARE ALWAYS THERE NO MATTER WHAT SHENANIGANS HITS US AND I'LL CONTINUE TO SUPPORT YOU AT ALL COSTS 😤 THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK ;_; your art only gets exponentially better each and every time, and it really shows here as well. Let's continue to have fun and random conversations and roleplays forever 🫂 💖

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

TO MY BELOVED JAZZY DAZZY

I'm late for everything as always but whatever 🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️

Sorry for the rushed ass art but my beloved friend deserved to get her birthday present at all cost 😤

Lately my job is giving me a lot of trouble doing the things I like the same way I used to. I have a hard time adjusting to the schedule since I end up very exhausted, but I wanted to do something special for you at least since you're always there for me T_T🫶

I enjoy our time together, either doing roleplay or even having the most ordinary or random conversations. You and Rox are greats friends for me and I always cherish you with all my heart 😩💗

[goldazu]

Oh my goodness Drya, you really didn't have to push yourself to make this for me—I know with university and everything, it's already a sleepless life ;_; but really, seeing this drawing, and reading your heartfelt words… It really moved me so much, probably more than what my own words can adequately express. This drawing is super special to me, and I will always cherish it and look back on it with a smile on my face, no matter how difficult things might get, because I'll always remember a friend made this for me out of the kindness of her heart. Honestly, it's breathtaking you drew something so beautiful so quickly. I immediately set it as the home screen on my phone because it's just that amazing. ;w;

It means a lot that people would even want to share their inner worlds with me in the first place, and I hope I can be that friend who supports everyone on their journey, as well as their OC's journey. It's one big reason why I decided to make my blog, so that maybe Ruki could help those stories advance and reveal new sides of people's characters previously unseen. And maybe it's too ambitious, but I'd love for him to play a big part of people's lore as well, even if it's only on tumblr and in an AU—it's just so much fun to watch how their relationships develop!! The same goes for Cassie, I'll admit I always thought she was a bit of a bright and sunny girl as well, but it's satisfying to watch this new side develop, too. And that, much like everyone else, she also realistically has this darkness weighing on her. I'm eagerly anticipating how Ruki might affect her, and likewise, how Cassandra will affect him. I can only hope to improve my writing as time goes on so that their story can really flourish.

You really made me want to come back and give it my all as well, to give my heart and soul in everything I write! So, I can say with confidence that you've greatly inspired me as well. It's a special feeling I'll always treasure.

Ahaha, of course I couldn't help but draw those two together, there are many things I would love to draw honestly, but something about their interactions have really encouraged me to illustrate it as well. I'm so happy that it could lift your spirits when you weren't feeling the best that day, and I'm grateful to know it's even still on your smartwatch all this time. T_T

Again, thank you so very much for drawing this for me. I really am at a loss for words, but I appreciate you so much, too. Let's continue to have lots of fun and amazing memories together. 🫂

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAS!!

This drawing came actually pretty late, I'm really really sorry, but I hope it still counts! I made it with all my patience and heart in 11 h so... It better worths the while >:p

Don't mind me simping under the cut @goldazu || @ruki--mukami

Well, let's talk with truth and heart because those are the meaningful words we have in the world to speak.

First, I send to you past Mai 26 a single message with a happy birthday while I was... in the middle of something at the university, sleepless and stressed. Yes, a hard day with... 48 hours of speedrun...

I wrote something like I really hoped you were doing fine; but I really wanted to do more, I had this drawing on mind that moment but I wasn't able to do it.

But that didn't stop me you see, I wanted to do something special for you because you, honestly, you deserve it.

I think that every single soul that decides to share their inner worlds in any art branch that ever existed need to have a mutual like you. Not only because the wholesome and fulfilling support you give and the kindness you sprout to people around you but the way you show yourself so dedicated to your blog. Everything is so organized and your writing is perfect cause it feels so real! (sometimes I feel like Ruki is a real person and right behind there is you, the secretary, writing his speech with a bloc-note XD).

Girl, it's inspiring, I meant it a lot. And I hope, as you said, it stays like this a little bit longer, no matter how much. It will be fine.

I have to confess, before I met you I really have been having a little bit of troubles around my character. I was unsure that Cassie would find a place to develop her personality. Like... She has phases, right? And she could be amazingly cheerful and a literal sunlight at the beginning but she... Is more like that in the surface, you see. But none crossed that line. I think the problem was that I hadn't found in that time the kind of roleplay that I was looking at. The roleplay that sinks into the deepest parts of the characters and that make them give opinions, do more complicated actions, express themselves in the way they truly are. But, since the day you met Cassie you have been supporting me and I have been feeling a lot of confidence about my character. You really made me want to come back to Tumblr with a lot of energy, to renew and rethink my character, and show all her sides, all the beauty that she is intended to give, the lightest and the darkest side of her. And I granted part of this inspiration to you .

And, Jas, did you remember? Cuz I think I wouldn't forget it in my life——

Girl you made me a fanart of my girl in my birthday when you barely knew me!! I was like: I LOVE IT BUT WHY?! I was surprised! I wasn't expecting anything like that! And it made me so happy that I could barely keep myself entirely! (Also that day I was feeling pretty bad, I was having a terrible day and that simple thing changed completely my humor. No people physically around me understood it, but I didn't give a shit! I was happy! For true! Btw the picture is still in my smart clock and I don't plan to quit it uwu).

No matter the time you took to answer, that doesn't stop me to enjoy roleplaying with you. I'm glad you feel fulfilled with your life and I hope you can still walk to the future with all hopes.

I'm glad for having in my memory the day I clumsily popped into your inbox.

And, again, happy birthday Jas. I appreciate you a lot ♥️

[goldazu]

If you receive this, you make somebody happy! go on and send this to ten your followers who makes you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. if you get one back, even better

omg this is so late but let's ignore that

You have made me so incredibly happy as well, Drya!! From all the roleplaying, the artwork, even just the small conversations in between, I'm very grateful to have you as one of my friends and I hope we can continue to be great friends in the future. ;w; 💖 Every time I see you on my dashboard, in my notifications, or even in my messages, it's always such a joy.

[goldazu]

if you receive this, you make somebody happy! go on and send this to ten your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. if you get one back, even better

omg Lizzy I'm so sorry for responding to this late, I'm pretty bad w/ the inbox on my main blog HGFKJHGF BUT YOU HAVE MADE ME HAPPY AS WELL, STAY BEING AMAZING 😩💖

[goldazu]

hoping tumblr won't mess this one! 🙏

JAS HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!!! you are such such a kind and sweet individual i really can't do anything but wish you the best, for this to be one of many awesome birthdays where you're surrounded by people who love and appreciate you 💖

being an adult and having responsabilities while managing to balance that with a somehow fulfilling personal life is difficult and it can get really frustrating at times but you're doing great, i promise. it's a slow road but you're super hardworking and i know you got this <3 i really hope that you can put your free time, as little or as much as it can be, into things that make your days even the tiniest bit brighter because you deserve all the happiness in the world

sending ruki kisses your way <333

AAAA thank you so much for the sweet and kind birthday wishes, Kuu!! This means so much to me, and I'm thankful this year was indeed another time surrounded by people who care and appreciate me :') both online and offline at that. I forgot just how welcoming and full of love tumblr could be, and I'm very grateful to make friends like you along the way. I appreciate you for believing in me T_T and I hope we can learn more about each other and become better friends in the future as well and maybe even roleplay between Ryo and Ruki 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ SHJFGKG but anyway, now that I have Ruki kisses, I guess I can't take a bath now. JKJKJK

Your thoughtful words really touched me, so thank you again 🫂 💖

[goldazu]

Ahh, I’ve been out and about a lot for my birthday, but here are some beautiful pics that I took of Ruki at the Japanese garden and at the various restaurants I visited 🥹 I’m so happy I have a hakama Ruki for this purpose, as he blends in with his surroundings perfectly.

There were also some places I visited that weren’t photographed here (mostly because it was prohibited) but I did visit this wild escape room with a haunted cabin theme. There was an actor who even abducted me in there 💀 DHDJDK BUT I MADE IT OUT ALIVE 🏃🏻‍♀️ but now I randomly wish someone would go on an escape room date with Ruki because it sounds really fun to roleplay

Anyway, I had lots of fun this year, probably one of my best birthdays yet. ;_; I was not expecting to receive so many kind messages, not to mention the spectacular artwork as well, and all of it makes me feel very loved. I’m very thankful for everything. ♥️

[goldazu]

Honestly, it may seem silly, but I never thought I would live to be 24 years old simply because the world might be “too difficult” for someone as childish as me to live in, but here I am, I made it this far. It still hasn’t completely settled in that I’m this old because I’m honestly mentally 3 years old with my crazy sense of humor, but I’m happy and thankful that people have stuck around by me regardless. I’m someone who doesn’t want to take others for granted, and so I wanted to say thank you to all my friends who have always been so kind and understanding with me. I want to thank all my friends who had fun with me and indulged a bit of my messed up humor in making Ruki traumatize everyone’s OCs and muses, ahaha. It’s his way of showing his twisted love, I promise. It’s never anything personal.

But I also wanted to write this because, for the longest time in my life, I’ve felt rather isolated and awkward around others. In my childhood, I was honestly a brat of a friend and treated others poorly believe it or not. So, it makes me relieved to see others are always so enthusiastic and eager to interact with me, as well as my portrayal of Ruki, a character who holds a special place in my life. All the fun, the bittersweet, the morose even—I cherish all these memories as they’ve allowed me to grow as a person, and hopefully continue to be a decent friend even if I struggle to be there all the time for every single one of you.

My only regret is that I couldn’t be there more often. Just know that I am a very vocal and transparent person when it comes to what I expect, and I won’t hesitate to let people know if they’ve crossed a boundary with me, so if it ever felt like I ignored you, then that means I have no problem with you and it’s more so a sign of my poor time management. For that, I apologize. But as I grow older and take on more responsibilities, I hope the times I am active prove to be fun and exciting for all involved. Trust me when I say that this blog has become my favorite project yet, as it bridged the gap between my love for Ruki and my aspiration to connect with all sorts of wonderful, talented, and creative individuals with countless of inspiring ideas for their worlds, their characters, their stories. I am grateful for all of it.

It is the first time in my 20+ years of living that I felt legitimately heard and cared for without condition. It made me feel reliable that people would actually confide their feelings and worries to me. It brightened my day to see people discuss their characters with a genuine passion. It makes me unfathomably happy that there are people who actually read what I have to write and say and feel captivated by it, and as a result, feel compelled by Ruki’s character, too. It is something for me to look forward to that it’s difficult not to forsake other things in my life (looking at you, work) without getting so absorbed into my writing.

Maybe it’s unrealistic of me to say this, but I want to keep it up for as long as I live, even if it’s only a little at a time, even if other people grow out of it, which is okay. Regardless of what happens next, I am thankful for this chapter in my life, and I hope it is a chapter that will always continue into a full-fledged book of cherished memories with you all.