goobtimus-prime - Tumblr blog

[goobtimus-prime]

Facewash

I got home from work and after I made myself dinner I went upstairs to go to bed

Part of my before bed routine is washing my face

My mom went to the store today and she bought more facewash,

We had run out a long time ago

The previous facewash left was a twice watered-down combination of the tablespoon of soap left in the container and sink and shower water

All mixed together in a lovely soap soup

It worked for weeks, except recently when the previously orange face soap was suddenly a dusty, bloody, rose color

Almost like a sign that something was wrong with it, almost like it was pleading for me to just buy more instead of wringing out every last drop of blood inside this container

It scared me a little but not enough for me to stop using it

When I went into the bathroom I noticed that my mom had gotten a different brand of facewash

I missed the old container, I remembered there being just enough left for one last use

I went to use the fresh bottle

Still the familiar orange

But as it fell out of the bottle, it was thicker, like worms wriggling out into my hand, remaining solid even when I squished them between my fingers, squeezing through the cracks of my palms, only falling apart into a white soapy mess when I put my hands on my face like I was Kevin McCallister from the first home alone movie

I had gotten too much soap on accident

So when I rinsed my face, I had to splash water on it for way longer than normal

When I looked up after drying my face, something was off

My eyes were different

I swear, the skin around was a little red and my eyes looked so intense and full of both pain and knowledge

I am convinced they were not my eyes

I was looking through something that was not me and was probably not even human

I blinked a few times and it seemed to disappear

But for a few moments I experienced the world through something that was not myself

[goobtimus-prime]

The Void

I saw someone refilling their coffee bean shaped ice tray with coffee poured out of a can.

This video had two million likes and almost eighteen million views

And this is all this woman does

Fill up, restock, use up, throw out

Buy buy buy buy buy

And it’s not flashy either

She creates in a white void that has one corner and nothing else

No decoration just void

She makes the excess appear minimal

I don’t care about this woman at all

She’s not the problem, she’s a symptom

She makes a smoothie in the morning then puts it into eight different identical glass bottles

She puts her laundry detergent into another sleeker, more aesthetic container

She just moves things from one bottle to another

Over and over and over constantly restocking

Buying bouquets of flowers endlessly

She carefully peels off petals and snips leaves so they fit perfectly in a container

That she fills with a strange powder to keep the illusion that the flowers are thriving in this void

She could just grow a garden instead

But she keeps the illusion that she is thriving in this void as well

And everyone says “THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU !!” “THIS IS WHY I DO THE SAME !!”

Sometimes she creates for herself

She makes tea

But even that is soon consumed by the void

She must use some novel container to mix the tea so she can pour it into another cup and another cup and another cup and another cup and another cup on and on and on until her kitchen is full of unused yet dirty cups

All for 12 oz of tea

She is stuck just like the rest of us

People see her and they want the life the void offers

They ask “WHERE CAN I GET THIS?” “HOW CAN I EXPERIENCE THIS?”

And the void only says

“in my storefront”

“on amazon”

“make a purchase”

To have peace you must buy it

It’s frustrating.

She makes coffee

She is sponsored

I saw a comment that said  “BEST AD EVER !!”

The ice returned to the void as I kept exploring her page

Here she was restocking the freezer drawer that held the ice

(not the ice trays themselves, rookie mistake to think that. You’d have to be stupid to not understand the difference. You’d have to have no brain at all, you’d have to be born in the middle of the fucking woods with wolves as a mother to not fucking understand what any of this means at all. You’d have to be the most brain-dead person to not get this. Everyone else understands. Why don’t you.)

All this meaning that she was taking the ice out of the trays to put it in another container to put in her freezer and all I ask is why do you need this much ice?

There were six separate trays of flavored ice

Why do you need any of this?

Each of them was made with some other ingredient besides water

Don’t you feel trapped living like this?

She bought special drinks just to make ice out of them

Is this really what you want?

Is this what any of us want? Six trays of ice we have to restock every week?

Do we really want to live inside a void with one corner?

Or are we stuck just like her?