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[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

April 18th, 2023

Last year I created a blog with the intention of it being active. I would post our day-to-day life and some longer rants here and there. With like so many things, I'm good at coming up with ideas but not so good with the execution part.

As my blog (on a different platform) was coming up to its expiring date, I realized how fun it was to look back at the images and texts I had posted. I, once again, would LOVE to start posting more - purely for my own sake! I'm not expecting others to read it, it would just be for me and my family. A place to treasure my memories of our time together.

These pictures were taken last week, when the sun was still here visiting. Today is grey and cold. Yesterday's walk was in pouring rain.

As always we had a good walk. I had Sam pose next to a cherry blossom tree. Tied up, as there was a squirrel close by and I don't trust her completely around squirrels.

I realized as I was reading through our previous posts how much growth has happened within the last year! With separation anxiety, but also with her reactivity. Life with Sam now is so easy! I'll talk more about our progress in future posts. I can't wait to share more about the cutest rascal on the planet.

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Week 19

Old entry: May 22nd, 2022

A round up of last week’s photos and adventures!

Monday

A long sniffy walk around South Memorial Park. We focused on taking it slow. I let her lead the way as much as possible. She found a couple of dead rats and lunged towards a squirrel hehe but apart from that we both had fun!

Tuesday

Someone’s waiting patiently for me to sign out of work and go for walkies or cuddles.

First: cuddles.

I brought my camera to the graveyard. I usually don’t bring my camera, but felt inspired. Got some beautiful photos on our walk which made me want to get into the habit of using it more!

This picture of Sam among the bluebells is too pretty.

Once at home she shredded a box then got POOPED. Fell asleep on her mountain of trash.

Wednesday

The sun was out for my lunch break, which means Sam can be found in her favourite spot in our garden.

Once inside again she was traumatized by a fly who kept on bugging her.

To decompress from fly-gate we went to Kensington park for some running around! As you can see it made her super happy.

Throw the ball, stick, anything! I won’t bring it back but I’ll have fun pretending I will!

Chomping on a stick looking concerned.

At home she continues chewing, this time on her benebone. Look at her longggg body.

Thursday

All day she acted like a little baby. She’s been itchier than normal so she gets frustrated and uncomfortable. Mostly she wants to cuddle or play 24/7.

An afternoon nap before walkies.

We went to South Memorial Park again. The weather was bad, so we basically had the whole place for ourselves! Since it’s baseball season they had the fences up, meaning she could run loose. We played and had so much fun running around! I don’t have any pictures of that unfortunately.

Finished up with some treats throwing. We’ve been trying to perfect her aim when it comes to catching treats haha.

Here it comes Sam! Are you ready?

Yassss get it!

You better open that mouth now!

Such a happy, happy girl.

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Weekend Walks #3

Old entry: May 13th

This post will really only include one weekend walk! Last Sunday I took Sam to meet Shira and Winston at Le Merché at St George’s Street here in Vancouver, a beautiful french cafe located in the middle of a residential area.

I was debating whether or not to bring Sam. 1, it would be nice with some time on my own! 2, she’s not really a patio dog, I would have to do a LOT of managing if I brought her.

I ended up bringing her, and while I did have to do a lot of management I also don’t regret it because we had the best day together with Shira and Winston!

Halfway to the cafe I was so close to text Andrew to come and pick her up. Again, I’m glad I decided to go ahead with it but sometimes it’s definitely just better to leave them home!

Winston was as handsome as ever.

Good boy waiting for mom Shira while she’s getting us some croissant! I had to separate Sam and Winston since they JUST wanted to play, and a patio located on a sidewalk isn’t exactly the best way to play hehe.

Sam was a bit uncomfortable. She’s all about movement, not stillness. But she did good! No barking. While she did want to play, she didn’t cry once which is HUGE. She was okay with sitting away from Winston (with the help of a lot of treats).

Like I said, she’s definitely not a patio dog. I honestly haven’t practiced that much either. And I definitely haven’t practiced in situations where I didn’t NEED her to be calm. I want to get a place mat to bring with us and do lots of shorter practice sessions.

These two are too cute together!

Of course I had to share my croissant with Sam. Crumbs on the ground was the perfect way to keep her occupied.

Treats, treats, treats. Always lots of treats!

We didn’t stay long, both dogs would much rather MOVE than sit still (although they did SO well, I’m so proud of them both). We walked to a nearby sports field which was completely empty. It was a huge dream come true for the two city pups!

Winston loves being chased, and he’s fast! Sam doesn’t mind chasing, but she’s a bit slow hehe. She’s more of a wrestler than a chaser, but Winston and Sam plays so well together! Winston just simply runs away from Sam when she’s being too pushy, which tires her out so she plays better. It’s a win-win!

Wild dog mom found in her natural habitat!

And the result below are so cute!

Found a ball in my jacket pocket, lucky pups!

Using the ball as reinforcement for some pictures.

Winston’s very interested in the ball! Sam’s interested in whatever Winston’s doing.

Love these goofy pictures, honestly looking back on these makes me so happy as it’s been hard to find friends for Sam!

But Winston’s chill temperament is perfect for Sam.

Plus, Winston’s so handsome it’s hard NOT to get some good model shots of the two of them.

After the park Shira drove us both home to our place!

Where we tried to have them both relax at home together. For Sam this was VERY hard. She just wanted to continue to play, play, play. She has no chill. But all in all, she did great! Especially considering this was the first time ever we’ve had another dog inside our apartment. If all she wanted to do was play, I consider that a success. I was afraid that she would resource guard, but nope. Only play for this girl (which, sometimes, is not as fun as it sounds. Again frustration is her middle name).

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

2.5 Hours 🎉

Old entry: May 11th, 2022

Today I’m celebrating. As in, I’m currently celebrating. I’m sitting by the window at a cafe I used to go to quite a lot before the pandemic started and before getting Sam. Since spring 2020 I haven’t been able to go to a cafe on my own, but today’s the day! The sun is shining, people are either working on their laptops or talking to friends. I’m enjoying a cappuccino and a huge piece of carrot cake. 

What’s Sam doing? Snoozing on the couch, enjoying her favourite ASMR video playing on the tv. The laundry machine is on. Life is good.

I grabbed my laptop and sneaked out. The shoes had already been put outside, essentials stored in my pockets (wallet, key, phone, headphones, mask). I should’ve brought a bag to put my laptop in, but I just forgot. I left with no jacket - Vancouver is currently enjoying a peachy 14 degrees Celsius! I took the bus down the street and here we are. Nature is truly healing. 

Sam didn’t even follow me to the door as I left. She did NOT care that I opened the door and disappeared. Maybe she was too tired from her morning mischief: she woke me up at 6AM acting extra goblin:y. I thought she wanted to pee, brought her out twice. But no, she just wanted to eat grass and bark at nothing at all (or ghosts? What do I know). 

a bit of a tangent:

I love her so much. There’s a part of me that wants to take her everywhere. But I think independence will do us both some good. Growing up with dogs, we never brought them to “human” places. I mean, we also didn’t live in a city so we didn’t have to bring them to crowded areas. Instead it was all hikes, dog sports, play, eat and sleep. With our local dog club, we did some practice sessions at our “city centre”, but if a dog didn’t like crowds or didn’t do well in areas with heavy traffic, we just didn’t push it. The goal was never to have a dog you could bring everywhere. 

City dogs have a difficult life. There’s so much they have to adapt to. And you do see those unicorns around, the dogs walking loosely next to their owners, not caring what goes on around them. We look at these unicorns and expect our dogs to be able to do the same. Truth is I’d say most dogs don’t thrive in busy areas, and why should they? They’re not designed for them - they’re designed for US. And even for humans being in crowds and heavy traffic can get extremely overwhelming. 

For example, growing up among dog people I never heard of someone bringing their dogs to the pet store. Why would they? What’s there for _them_? When we bring dogs to pet stores, what’s the purpose? We tried to bring Sam to pet stores, wanting her to be a pet store dog. Working at a pet store here in Vancouver for a year when I first arrived made me want to be a part of that community so badly. Enter Sam, who just couldn’t deal. Who gets overwhelmed easily. Her middle name is literally Frustration, look it up (this is a joke, but it SHOULD be her middle name). 

A lot of my initial expectations with Sam were selfish and unrealistic. I thought very little about how she would be as an individual. I basically wanted that unicorn dog who could play with all dogs just fine, greet all people in a perfect manner, barely be noticeable on the street (other than for some people to go “aw she’s so well behaved!!”), or at home for that manner. I wanted her to have goofy moments that I could laugh at and maybe capture on video, but if I said “stop it” she would stop straight away and, I don’t know, go sleep somewhere. She would be great at dog sports, but also be a perfect pet BFF. Gentle, calm and kind. But also fun, full of energy. But ALSO someone who could chill whenEVER I needed her to. Obviously leaving her alone while me and Andrew were at work wouldn’t be an issue as all, since she would just snooze and greet us calmly when we came home.

I don’t think I ever told anyone about those expectations. I don’t think I even consciously thought about them. But looking back, that’s what I had in mind. I don’t think I’m alone with having all these initial expectations on who my dog should’ve been. The reality check really hits you when first getting your own dog: raising most dogs is hard. It’s a lot of work.

Now I’m more focused on getting to know my dog; who they are as an individual. I try to focus less is on my initial expectations and ideas on who I wanted her to be. I want to try enjoy life as much as I can with who she is instead of trying to train her to be someone she’s not. How can I make you thrive? How can I help you live your best life?

For Sam, a happy life with us means that we are focusing more on her separation anxiety rather than training her to be able to go with us everywhere. So she doesn’t have to go places that causes her discomfort and stress. So she feels calm and safe and loved at home, knowing we’ll always come back home to her!

If I can get her to chill at home, alone, without anxiety or panic when we want to do human activities, and give her plenty of fulfilling walks, play time and enrichment outside of those hours spent alone - I’ve done my job as a pet guardian. I’ve honoured who she is as an individual. 

2.5 hours later:

Throughout the departure today Sam snoozed on the couch. She repositioned herself a couple of times to get more comfy, which made my heart burst. She didn’t get up to investigate where I went, she trusted that I would come back. I honestly started to miss her a lot and wanted to go home before the session was over, but I pushed myself. Am I at a point where I’m suffering from separation anxiety more than her? Who knows! But I am so happy with where we are, where we’re going, and how we managed to get here.

The last couple of pictures in this post are from when we played some tug outside after I came home.

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Am I a Dog Mom? 

Old entry: May 6th, 2022

On Sunday it’s Mother’s Day here in Canada! My own mom resides in Sweden where Mother’s Day isn’t until May 29th, meaning I won’t really be celebrating Mother’s Day on Sunday. I know dogstagram will go crazy on Sunday celebrating all the amazing female dog owners! I’m all for it. If you identify as a dog mom then I will celebrate you, and hope your dog or partner does too!

I’ve always felt uncomfortable calling myself a dog mom. Am I a parent to my dog? I don’t feel like I am. I don’t feel like her mom. 

The main reason why calling myself a dog mom doesn’t really work for me is that I didn’t grow up with the term. In Sweden you don’t call yourself a dog mom or dog dad. You’re not a parent to your dog. We have specific terms for dog guardians: “husse” and “matte”. 

The word “husse” comes from the word “husbonde”, directly translated to “house farmer”. “Matte” comes from the word “matmor”, directly translated to “food mother”. Husse and matte originally referred to “the people who house and feed the dog”, essentially. Husse is male, matte is female. From what I know, there is no non-binary term that’s similar to husse and matte. 

While most people call themselves husse and matte in Sweden, you also have many people calling themselves “owner” or “dog guardian”. There are of course people calling themselves mom and dad too! But in general, not so much. 

Being a dog’s husse or matte doesn’t mean you JUST feed and house the dog and then the relationship ends there, that’s just the origin of the word. It’s since developed its own definition, as words often do. I would identify myself as Sam’s matte. While I don’t think of myself as a dog mom, I feel like I do have a more intimate and personal relationship with my dog than the terms owner or guardian suggests (to me). 

Words are more personal than we might think. Just look at the dog world for example: words like punishment, structure, reactivity, correction, enrichment, cue vs command etc. seem to have a very different meaning depending on who you talk to. I love reading other people’s interpretation of these words as each interpretation teaches me something new about the (English speaking) world. What you call yourself as a dog mom/dad/guardian/parent/owner etc is no different. It’s all personal to you.

Perhaps I got a little side tracked, but all this to say that maybe one day I WILL identify as a dog mom. Right now, I don’t. If I were to compare my relationship with Sam to that of a human family relationship, I’d say she was more like my little sister. She looks up to me for guidance. I provide her with safety, shelter, food, enrichment. Most importantly we have fun together. We cuddle each other. Sometimes we have disagreements, and there are probably things she doesn’t like about me - and likewise I don’t LIKE every characteristic of hers either! But I do love her. And would take a bullet for her. She is my family, but she’s not my “child”*. 

Sam knows the word husse, as I always say “kommer husse?” when I hear or see Andrew pulling up outside our home. She knows it means “Andrew’s coming home! Husse is coming! And I love husse!” She doesn’t know matte, mostly because Andrew doesn’t use the word and I don’t know any other Swedish people here in Vancouver. Sometimes Andrew will say “go to mammy” and it makes me cringe haha. But I’ll accept it, knowing there is no danger in the word. It’s all love. 

Here’s to all the dog moms out there! And to all the dog guardians too. Whatever you call yourself: here’s to your relationship with your dog. May it blossom like these pretty flowers 🌸

*there is zero judgement from me if you consider your dog your child. Living is about coping with the goal to thrive so you do whatever you can to cope and thrive bestie x

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Week 18

Old entry: May 6th, 2022

Throughout the week we basically rotate between 3-4 local parks to go to. Instead of doing neighbourhood walks I try to play with Sam and do more decompression-type walks! It just makes both of us happier. She does go around the neighbourhood to and from the park, and obviously on the shorter pee+poo walks as well.

Anyway, here’s the roundup on weekday walks during week 18th!

Monday

South Memorial Park. Usually pretty empty, but since the beginning of spring all the baseball leagues have returned. There’s still plenty of space for us to wander and use our 30ft lead!

Watched some softball while practicing relaxing. She managed to lay still for about… 5-6 minutes before getting bored.

Tuesday

Sorry but look at this precious peanut on our lunch walk? We loved all the pink petals taking over the streets.

In the afternoon it was rainy slightly. We walked to the graveyard and play some fetch!

This is probably our favourite walk. It’s 2 minutes away from our house, and it makes us feel like we’re somewhere very far away!

Wednesday

We followed the pink petal road to Kensington park! The oversized poncho was ON.

Such a happy girl love running around on big, empty fields and finding spots to roll on.

I love herrrr. And the poncho. Feel free to roll as much as you want with the poncho on cutie!

Had to stop for a photo session hehe.

Her face here kills me!

Thursday

We went back to Kensington park! Without the poncho this time.

Observing loose dogs at a distance. This was actually after she escaped from me (on her long lead, I just looked away for a second and didn’t hold on to the lead properly) and rushed to the dogs when we were way closer to them. She just wants to play, and it kills me that she’s not allowed. But this isn’t a dog park, and she plays way rougher than most dogs which not all dogs are up for!

I apologized over and over again, the owners were fine with it and I captured her pretty quickly. Poor thing didn’t know way I was dragging her away from all the fun.

Such a good girl though, she just has moments where the excitement takes over. This situation was not her fault at all, I should’ve manager it better.

Friday

Another graveyard walk! Really wish she wore the poncho here as she was rolling on coyote poop for AGES. I didn’t see it, otherwise I would’ve recalled her from it. She was obviously having the time of her LIFE.

Proud pup with zero regrets, painted with poop.

Oh and she also played with this dead rats. Such a pleasant walk! Dead rats are everywhere right now? A sign of… spring?

Apart from some grossness and her running away from me once, we had a really good week! 99% of the time she’s so perfect. She’s getting SO good with her loose walking and engagement. I’ve even been able to use less treats on walks since she just knows more of what’s expected of her. My little peanut, these walks are the highlight of BOTH our days.

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Separation Anxiety Update #1

Old entry: May 3rd, 2022

Currently sitting outside on the porch in a camping chair freezing my butt off while eating pita + hummus. I’m drinking my fourth cup of coffee cause I’m Tired™. It’s raining (occasionally sideways which means half my body is getting rained on, but I can’t be bothered to move). I’m listening to _that_ Harry Styles’ song on repeat because vancitywinston’s new reel was just so damn cute. 

What’s Sam doing? Snoozing on the couch, watching daytime tv. What’s she not doing? Freaking out about me being gone - yay! This is the whole reason I’m out here suffering in the cold watching my dog curled up in blankets on our spycam. For the love of my dog and for the love of my own sanity haha. Separation Anxiety training is hard!

Where we are:

I try to leave her 3 - 4 days a week during the weekdays. Some days I’ll go in and out between 1 - 8 times, on other days I’ll only leave her once. Me and Andrew together will try to leave her 1 - 2 times during the weekend.

I still leave her with very-little-to-no departure cues. That means I just stand up and go, with my indoor slippers and whatever I grab on the way out. I try to go out at different times during the day, with different length of absences each time. I try to avoid patterns as much as possible, but some patterns are comfortable for her. For example, if I do laundry that day she likes the pattern of me going in and out. She hears the laundry machine and think: oh, she’ll be right back.

I aim for as many easy wins as I can get, with some more challenging departures thrown in at random times. Almost every day is different: on some (now rare) days she can only take a couple of minutes - even seconds! She’ll whine and bark in the hallway, especially if she’s already aroused or if she sees me and Andrew leaving together. On some days I feel like I could been gone all day and she wouldn’t miss me at all. Who knew dogs aren’t robots and have good and bad days just like we do?! Haha!

The daytime absences are not really an issue anymore, but I keep practising. I want to fill her brain with easy wins, the association should be crystal clear! When we leave, nothing bad happens. We always come back. We would never put her through major stress or panic, we’ll be right there for her. 

I finally finished the last chapters of Be Right Back by Julie Naismith the other day, a book that really guided us through the start of our separation anxiety journey. Not to mention all the AMAZING SA trainers (see list below!) that we follow on Instagram!

Where we’re going:

We still have a long way to go: adding cues, being able to leave together at the same time, being able to leave together at the same time with cues, early morning departures (actually never even tried), late evening departures (these are okayish) and early evening/late afternoon departures (this is the Bowser of departures!). But these will all be doable soon! It will happen for us! Sam’s improvement is showing me just that.

It’s just about putting in the work. It’s not sexy: there are no quick results. There will be regression. But hey, if this is something we have to work on for 2 years of her hopefully 12+ life, then so be it. I have no doubt we’ll ace this together! (and honestly even if we don’t we will be okay) 

Recommended trainers to follow on Instagram:

ardentdog

believeinyourdog

galdogtraining

underdogtrainingca

homealoneacademy

positivepawstraining

Probably forgetting some, but I can’t thank these trainers enough for the free content they provide!

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Weekend Walks #2

Old entry: May 2nd 2022

Another weekend came and went! We spent it mostly at home, super low key. On Saturday we left Sam alone for a couple of hours to go grocery shopping. We stood outside the front door watching her on camera to make sure she settled before we drove off. Afterwards we went for a nice afternoon walk together.

There’s a huge graveyard 2 minutes away from our home which we utilize pretty much every other day. It is dog friendly, as long as they’re leashed. We walk there with Sam usually on her 15ft or 30ft lead. It’s amazing for decompression walks! We’re so lucky to have it so close by.

The three of us shared a beer together on a bench watching the world go by. I say the three of us, but obviously only me and Andrew shared the beer while Sam was happy out chomping on a cow ear!

We played some fetch with her and she made sure to roll around loads in the fresh grass. It was such a lovely afternoon, we can’t wait to have similar days like this during summer.

Me and Andrew talked a lot during the weekend about our goals for Sam. We both agreed that the one major goal for us right now is her separation anxiety.

A lot of my personal frustration related to Sam comes from never being able to leave her alone. I’m glued to her 24/7, which can be extremely taxing. Even when I do leave for an hour or two it’s never relaxing: all I think about is how she’s doing at home, with constant check ins on the camera.

Working from home has made Sam develop quite an attachment to me for natural reasons. Not only am I always around, I’m also the person who usually feeds her and take her out on weekday adventures. It’s no wonder that she’s so attached. As lovely as it is to have a dog wanting to be so close to you all the time, we both deserve some independence from each other. So while we have SO many goals and plans for Sam, we will be focusing MAINLY on the separation anxiety bit in the next upcoming months. The rest will follow naturally.

Sunday looked pretty similar. I had to do some errands and left Andrew and Sam home alone. She’s still not super relaxed when I leave her and Andrew home alone, so it was good practice! In the afternoon we went back to the graveyard for a decompression walk. Me and Sam usually go there on our own during the weekday so we love whenever Andrew can join!

That was our weekend, pretty slow but so sweet nonetheless.

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Weekend Walks #1

Old entry: April 29th, 2022

Happy Friday! As we’re heading in to a new weekend, I wanted to make sure to post a photo dump of our previous weekend. We’ve had some amazing walks with one happy pup. I can’t tell you how much joy our 30 ft lead brings us! Not to mention the warmer weather and all the greenery around us!

SATURDAY

I had to work on Saturday, it’s rare but it happens. I barely remember working though because our afternoon hike was so sweet! We drove to the Langley/Surrey border and found a trail that suited us perfectly.

In parts the trail was completely empty. We occasionally met a biker or jogger, but other than that Sam was free to roam on her 30ft lead.

Of course we had time for a little photo session! If it means getting a break and lay down for a while, she doesn’t mind.

This puddle was hard to cross without getting out feet wet, but Sam loved it! On our way back she went absolutely bananas here and had some great zoomies getting herself dirty as can be.

The trail came to a little pond where people were having lovely evening strolls. Sam did great and didn’t react to a single duck or dog that she saw!

One proud and happy girl!

Below is proof of how dirty she got after the puddle bath. Zero regrets.

SUNDAY

Sunday was another sunny, warm day! We had a vet visit scheduled in for the afternoon, so we decided to go to a trail close by in Richmond.

The trail was pretty empty! We didn’t know it was an off leash trail until we got there. Since it seemed pretty empty, and we had the long lead, we decided to walk anyway. Sam is very reactive on leash if there are off leash dogs around. We started walking with the expectation that if there were off leash dogs, she would be allowed to greet them and we would drop the leash.

We didn’t meet many dogs at all, and the dogs we did meet all leashed up when they saw us, so we kept Sam close too! Her engagement was amazing, she wanted to be close. She seemed really happy with just walking around sniffing everything. We used her long lead as a dragline and let her wander on her own which she LOVED.

It was such a nice perfect little walk. Really hot though, I do regret not bringing water for her. She did find some puddles and ditches to play in so she did alright!

On the way to the vet we stopped and got lunch, and Sam got a frozen goat milk yoghurt from the pet store.

The vet visit went great. I was allowed in for the first time since getting her! She absolutely loves the staff, and they love her. Pretty simple visit, she was given her cytopoint injection and got an ear cleaner and a refill of her shampoo, then we headed home for a bath!

All in all, despite working we had a super nice weekend.

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Easter Saturday

Old entry: April 18th, 2022

Our Easter weekend offered a mixed bag of treats! There were definitely some sour moments mixed in with all the sweetness, as explained in one of my previous posts.

Saturday was gorgeous though, so here’s a big photo dump of that delicious day!

We started off with a beach visit. It was windy and sunny, but we pretty much had the beach all to ourselves. Sam was on her 30ft long lead, wandering around sniffing out some dead crabs between rocks.

She didn’t LOVE the idea of just sitting down for a while. She barked at us, wanting us to move or play. After a couple of treatos though she settled and we could enjoy just being for a while.

Since it wasn’t really a long walk, more a leisurely stroll, we decided to go for a second walk somewhere else after doing some sightseeing around Delta.

We found this amazing trail that was pretty much completely empty. We love when Sam can explore fully and “forget about us” on her long lead. As much as we love engagement and check ins, I also believe it’s so beneficial for dogs to just enjoy some time “on their own” for a while. The 30ft lead lets her do some independent exploring, while staying safe and following leash laws.

Give Sam some space, nice views and good smells and she’s SOO happy.

We also found a magical wooden area. A place we’ll definitely visit more closer to summer, perhaps bring a picnic and stay for a while!

Good sticks were found and chewed on.

This picture is my definition of happiness! Andrew and Sam, both smiling and just loving life! How lucky I am to spend life with these two creatures.

A glorious Saturday. We drove home very tired and very happy.

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Weekly Progress Report #1

Old entry: April 18th, 2022

I’d like to summarize the week that’s gone and highlight some positives, but also some note down some low points.

Some of the highlights from this week: ➕ Lovely graveyard walks and park walks. ➕ Did super well with obedience training. With obedience, we’re focusing on “stand” and duration on “sit”, “down” and “stand”. Also learning that all of these means “stay”, which is tricky. She’ll sometimes lose interest in what we’re doing and change position or move away. Keeping our training sessions really short, and honouring when she’s had enough. ➕ Amazing separation anxiety absences, including 2 x 2hr+ sessions. ➕ Went through her first car wash without any issues!

Some low points: ➖ Not feeling great physically (allergy related) and mentally, meaning lots of frustration. ➖ Some big reactions with longer than usual recovery time on walks. ➖ Having big feelings inside the home (demand barking and sometimes growling). She’s in a lot of discomfort and doesn’t know what to do with all her emotions. A lot of the time she’s tired, but she’s not sure how to settle.

This week’s goals: ⚫️ Build up her SA (separation anxiety) duration with 1 departure cue (shoes). ⚫️ Reduce demand barking to a minimum by showing alternative behaviour BEFORE she barks. ⚫️ Book in a vet appointment to get her cytopoint injection. Do betadine paw soaks daily. Remove all chicken from diet and start supplementing bee pollen and quercetin.

Always onwards and upwards!

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Frustration -> Reaction

Old entry: April 17th 2022

Today Sam had her first big reaction in a while.

To be honest, she’s been a bit weird and not herself all week. She’s uncomfortable and frustrated. She’s at the end of her cytopoint cycle and her anal glands are acting up. There’s excess yeast on paws and in ears, making her itchy and uncomfortable. Just like I get really tired and frustrated during spring and peak allergy season, so does she. We both have very little patience, and need an extra dose of love and compassion.

She’s been crying all week. Demand barking like crazy. Like, CRAZY. It’s driving ME crazy. So we’re both a bit crazy right now. With her frustration follows a couple unwanted behaviours. She forgets herself, doesn’t know how to act. Her fuse is shorter. Triggers that we usually have no problem managing on walks (squirrels, birds, other dogs, cyclists etc) becomes harder to ignore. She lunges and whines. Not often, but more than normal. Or at least according to our “new normal” where this happens very rarely.

In hindsight today’s big reaction could’ve been totally avoided. I don’t know why we decided to take her on a walk along the river where we knew there would probably be off leash dogs. Honestly, we just forgot. We just didn’t think about it. We were caught up in the nice weather and her behaving so well while we were outside cleaning the car. “Let’s go for a nice walk!” we thought, and just left. Uh oh.

As soon as she got out of the car she was way too excited. We didn’t bring good treats and we didn’t set her up for success by getting rid of some energy before we asked her to engage. Straight away she saw horses, something she’s definitely not neutral around. We tried to control her excitement and redirect, but from the get go she wouldn’t listen. She was just too overwhelmed. We should have turned around there and then. But we’re only humans, and I can’t stress how beautiful this area is. So we kept going.

Frustration built up in both me and Sam. She wanted to RUN and EXPLORE. She was not interested in engaging with us and leisurely investigating her surroundings. She wanted to get right up in there. “Horses, DOGS! OMG, DOGS! Dogs on leash, dogs off leash. Surely EVERYONE we see is a friend and we can run around to greet them and play aggressively till I don’t know, probably midnight?” - Sam probably.

When we spotted the first off leash dogs coming towards us, we put her up on a bench so we could create some distance and have her focus on something else (our boring treats). The old couple with the two old dogs of course told us “don’t worry, they’re friendly”. As per usual, we replied “yeah, so is she. She’s just too excited and we don’t want her to greet them”. As per usual (part 2) they ignored this and didn’t recall their dogs. Instead they wanted to talk to us about Sam. They meant well, they probably saw how stressed we were and wanted to let us know that her excitement was okay. For some STUPID reason, we let her say hi. They stayed there for so long talking to us, that I thought maybe she had calmed herself down. So foolish and stupid of me.

She did “ok” at first, just very, very excited. And frustrated to be on leash, of course. The two terriers looked at her like “ugh, what’s up with all this ENERGY girl” and wanted very little to do with her. Sam, of course, starts pawing at them because it doesn’t matter the size of the dog: she wants to wrestle. Behind us arrives another old couple with another small terrier. Also off leash, of course. At this point Sam is going absolutely bananas. Lunging so hard she’s flying in the air at the end of the leash. It’s devastating to see. We try to walk away quickly, but of course the terrier who just arrived decides to follow her. It just escalates and I honestly don’t remember the sequence of events. I remember the looks we got. Sam crying and lunging and me trying to keep her controlled. I can only imagine how it must’ve looked like with me just trying to hold on to our 60 pound dog who’s basically flying in the air. We quickly abandoned ship and ran away from the beautiful walk.

We took a detour back to the car to get SOME walkies in. We managed to not meet any other dogs, except for a pitbull on the other side of the street with its old owners who also tried to manage the passing. I absolutely love other owners with reactive dogs (or who just know how to respect other dogs and owners in general). Seeing the old couple taking care of their pitbull absolutely melted my heart.

Sam was still very excited and overwhelmed. She found it hard to listen. She did okay with the horses we saw for the rest of the walk. She’s getting more and more used to them, so that’s always a plus. She only growled at one of them who was grazing close to the car park, which probably looked very strange to her.

Having cried earlier that morning because of how exhausting yesterday was for us, I was pretty defeated after the walk. My hands hurt from holding onto the leash during the lunging. We put her in the car crate and drove off. The reaction was bad, and it was a huge reminder to us how her physical health is affecting her mental abilities to stay focused. She’s so much closer to threshold when she’s also suffering. I get it, I’m completely the same.

I work a lot in percentages. So if the reaction only really was 5% of our day, that means that the remaining 95% of the day was pretty good! Here are some positives to remember:

2 people on horses were smiling at Sam and us after seeing how neutral and sweet she was around them (little did they know of her earlier reactions. This was near the end of the walk and she had calmed down and managed to focus)

We managed to avoid almost ALL intense demand barking sessions

She did well tied up outside next to us as we were cleaning the car, even with people and kids passing

She waited patiently in the car as we were vacuuming it out at the gas station

She did AMAZINGLY during her first car wash! No crying, no panic. This is a girl who’s had extreme car anxiety in the past. Hurray Sam!

I mean, she’s obviously a good girl. Just a very excited and frustrated Good Girl. We’ll rest and collect ourselves. There’s a bright, new day waiting for us tomorrow.