goosessideblog

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The first chapter of My Immortal, but instead of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, it's Julius Caesar!

CHapter 1.

AN: Special thankz 2 my bf (maybe in that way??) ciCero, OPtimatesAreBest666SPQR 4 helpin me wif da story nd speling. U ROK.

Hi my name is G’aius Ju’lius Caes’ar and I used to have thick, lusty, toucheble hair of unknown color (haha quirky am i rite?) and inky black eyes like black orbs. I’m not related to M. Tullius Cicero but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie (AN: If u dont know who he is get da hell out of here). I’m from like 50 BC but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a dictater in perpetuum but not in the dysyopian YA novel way. I also became a god after I was stabbed (lolzz spoiler alurt) I wear a loose girdle and Sulla called me an ‘ill-girted boy’. I did a really cool thing recently (u know, Gaul thingz) and I’m currently dressing to flex about it. For example today I was wearing a laurel wreath and a toga picta and a tunica palmata. I was walking through Rome. It was not the Ides of March, which I was very happy about. A lot of plebs stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Caes’ar!!” shouted a voice. I looked up… it was Marcus Junius Brutus!

“What’s up Brutus?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me plebzz.

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Since isosceles are the most feminine appearing, Flatland has femboy soldiers, in this essay I will-

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narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

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cicero hatched from an egg already fully formed i think

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thinking about how caesar commissioned art of catos suicide. whos doing it like him

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hatefucking doesnt even begin 2 cover what caesar n cato were doing i thjnk

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Imagine your favorite historical figure getting locked in a freezer

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broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

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This is what Rasputin would've wanted.

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Me: *stubs my toe* "AH FUCK!"

Mass of quivering flesh that's been growing in my cabinet and slowly feeding off my suffering until it develops sentience: *takes first breath*

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WX-78 being the funniest character in the game to me, a compilation.

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i have 400 mental illnesses and will never be normal again #teddy

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IMSORRY IM LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF 😭😭😭 NAHHH MANEPEAR LOOK DEAD AS HELL HELPME 😭😭🙏

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tabi actively locked onto seawatt and targetted his ass like this girl had bloodlust for this guy and this guy only. she didnt try to actively kill anyone else just that twink. and GOD then evbo was like "omg tabi nooo 🥺 dont kill him pretty please" and tabi literally went UGH 🙄 and knocked his ass out. my favorite scene i think. i still feel tabi shouldve beheaded him but whatever. evbo has two hands or whatever

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I stand by the fact that Raymond was a really good name