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I don't think I really believe in hell. Eternal suffering? That's here dude. What do you mean if I don't cover my hair I'm going to suffer for the end of time? I can't even measure that. Things can change. With my girls in a devoted Islamic program I spend a lot more time around hardcores and devout. I just don't think it's that important. I don't think the beings higher up in consciousness than us are really worried if such and so at the super market saw my locks of brown hair. It's like- yeah? And? What? At the same time I really admire some women who genuinely enjoy it. The way I hear Sihk men enjoy their tradition. And that's a rad feeling. Good for you.

I cover my hair when we go for prayer on Fridays and when I go talk to the kids at the school. But sometimes we forget. There's a couple of other moms who are freestyling like me. And even more women I see on big holidays who don't wear a hijab except during prayer inside the mosque. It's a bit tough because I stand out a lot so I get extra scrutiny. But I appreciate that Rio has never pressured me. We once went to watch animals get slaughtered for Eid in Indonesia. Since it's a religious holiday, I tried my hand at covering my hair. He sensed I was feeling uncomfortable and hesitant and said I didn't need to wear one. He doesn't reprimand me for eating with my left hand. We just go with the flow. We both have pretty different ideas about what happens after the lights go out- and that's a tough act to follow. So I appreciate those decisions and choices he has made to let me be me. Even if it means we can't hang out in heaven later (according to him).

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Robert Oscar Lenkiewicz

Death and The Maiden. Date Unknown Death and The Maiden. 1972 Death Presenting Peace to The Maiden. 1974

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I've been practicing Reiki for a few years and I really enjoy it. Today I pulled aside to a woman who was just hit by a car. A crowd of people waiting with her as help arrived. We were all so afraid to touch her. After some minutes I tried to find out what happened and it turns out the jerk who ran her over was parked behind a nearby Taco Bell like a coward. I busted out that cell phone and went to get a picture of his license plate. Multiple witnesses confirmed and described the same car. Mostly people were with this poor woman after the fact and had heard her scream. She had blacked out and didn't know what happened or remembered. But her fingers were slightly bleeding and I was betting her legs were going to be pretty busted too. When I came back to her and wait for the police to arrive, I got down and took her hand. This poor woman. We're all so scared to touch and move people we forget the power of just a simple human touch. We're robbed of the ability to physically connect because we don't want to get sued. I just took her hand and felt it all flow out. You just ant someone to do okay. I hope she is okay.

Last week I worked on someone in person. I have an agreement to use a private room in a massage business nearby. It was the first time I worked with someone who had no experience of Reiki in a really professional setting. Definitely a confidence booster. It was a positive experience for both of us, and her payment to me (which I did not require or ask for since I am starting out and just want reviews) did not hurt at all.

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I'm working with a very small group of employees. There is not a lot of oversight, and there's a lot of potential to improve or grow our services. My job has me side eyeing data visualization to improve user services and I'm finally in a position to learn and provide that at my own pace. It's really exciting to me! My excel skills have improved tremendously, I have a supportive boss who likes my projects, and I still get to interact with patrons. It's a little intimidating to work with doctors at some points. Yesterday someone came in needing to re-verify their account with electronic licensing on our network blah blah blah. I was having some trouble when he told me he used to be the chair of Internal Medicine. When you knock your weight around I usually respond negatively to that- but it sounded impressive and I felt embarrassed I couldn't help him without calling a hotline so it worked.

When I went to graduate school the database management classes were just too scary and it felt overwhelming. I backed out. I'm considering to go back to take a class or two at my local community college or something online to learn about database management now. It's so prevalent to the job and research these days.

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Me: Wow, I need more sleep. I look like shit and only got a few hours the last couple of days Me After the Kids Fall Asleep: FINALLY LET'S STAY UP AND PARTY

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My husband constantly bites our children and then tells them it is their fault for being cute.

My fiance constantly bites me and then tells me it is my fault for being cute.

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I have doubts about people who say they can love when they’re not whole. They are usually the ones who keep on leaving.

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I like feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. If not I would actually have to process feelings and I can't be having that at this moment at work. But seeing that discomfort with a little clarity was meaningful. Maybe next time I can pull myself away to process rather than stuff my face.

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The world feels pretty wrong when Tumblr is the place I get news about Gaza. There is something to be said about independent news sources.

Also, I checked back in with Phil DeFranco. I watch him on and off. Dropping F bombs and no curated background. He seemed like his hands weren't so tied and he was actually speaking with an opinion in his voice.

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The dead aren't as scary as I thought they were

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Hunter College <3

Bonjour, bonne journée ☕️ 💼

"School of Geniuses", Hunter College 🗽New York 1948

Photo de Nina Leen

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Today's #YearOfHours is Free Library of Philadelphia Lewis E 128, a book of hours, use of Tours, written in France ca. 1490. It contains twelve miniatures by a follower of Jean Bourdichon, and belonged to the noted 18th c. English collector, Sir Andrew Fountaine.

Online:

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Oh wow, these Inuit prints!!! Kenojuak Ashevak, Observant Owl; Kenojuak Ashevak, Throat Singers Gathering; Ningiukulu Teevee, Seasonal Migration; Sheelaky (artist) and Iyola Kingwatsiak (printer), Sea Spirit.

More than 100 of these beauties are available in St. Lawrence University's Canadian Inuit Prints, Drawings, and Carvings collection on JSTOR, which is free and open to all!

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I don't write enough. It's time to find my voice again but also to speak in my actions. Not to compress my fantasies and desires between pages and waiting. To fulfill my oaths, part with grace, and learn to reconcile myself to the greater good. I have spent quite a long time asking myself how to fall out of love. Running away from a connection that is tied in love. Why? Why have I spent so much time? Because I was hurt and damaged and didn't want to bring it in for myself. I wanted to get in and love myself first. I believe I have begun that deeper journey to rid myself of anger, regret, pain, and the way others have influenced my decisions. Fuck judgement. Time to do stuff for myself. But am I still sane enough to navigate a relationship that feels binding and loving? This isn't where I belong. That makes me really sad. Feels like a prison. Writing is my alchemy and way out, I need to ensure I am going here more often to flow and tap into the conscious attention at hand.

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Update, harlot came clean, faced her trauma, found some light in her voice and spoke out her truth about her pain to her husband. We've agreed to go to counseling and get better.

And then she became a harlot…