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[gracie-j]

[gracie-j]

    Another important lesson I learned is that peopled are flawed and they will constantly let you down even the ones you love and who love you. you can never ever put all your trust and dependence on people because they are flawed, all except God who can never let you down.

       I still get bad thoughts from time to time, I still get anxious and I still do and say stupid things I regret. but I'm learning and growing and that's what teen years are all about. I can and will become better through Christ that strengthens me. i still have so much life to live and still so much to learn, but ill become better, whatever i become. Amen.

[gracie-j]

  Graduation was bliss. it felt good. leaving behind those suffocating walls and those awful people. but unfortunately, I had a lot of problems. during my time in school for my last years I got depressed, I talked on and on to my family but pretty soon my sister and mother got tired of listening to me whine. my mother said I was acting like a baby and pretty much treated it like some overdramatic teenager thing, my sister pretty much lacked empathy she was great for when I wanted to vent about my classmates but soon she got sick of me too. I couldn't talk to my father, because he was kind of oblivious to things happening in my school life, and there was no way I could talk to my brothers who only pretty much only think about video games and youtube. I felt so lonely. I tried to talk to the school about my situation but they were useless. people around me would say try being friendly, don't stay on your own so much, that's why they treat you the way they do. Maybe they were right, maybe they weren't, but either way, I didn't listen. I got angry at my family alot, and argued with my mother more often than I like to admit.

     then I had several realizations. I was a Christian but where was my faith in God. I started thinking about what kind of Christian I truly was. and it dawned on me I was pretty lazy spiritually and physically. I called myself a Christian but I only focused on the moral aspect. I realized and learned to be a Christian didn't mean being a good person, it meant having a relationship with God and Jesus who died for us. it never really occurred to me about my Christianity until I was at the lowest part of my life, and honestly, it was a wake-up call and a blessing. Before I would drown my depression and loneliness in sleep, food and the internet, forgetting what I was really meant to be focused on, my faith and the Christian lifestyle, I'm just thankful God helped realize this early in life. I didn't have any close bonds in church and I slept through almost everything. I wasn't the best Christian.

             I gained a lot of weight over the years and stopped caring about my looks, I was also very self-absorbed. whatever drama was going on around the school, I didn't give a shit about it. I didn't get out much, so I was the last to know a lot of things and was very oblivious to my surroundings. I was caught in my own world, heck I didn't even know the names of some of my teachers. I realized this needed to change. and I needed to go out more. but as a result of school, I didn't know how to go about it. I became more and more anxious and introverted and lacked self-love. I put myself down for all the stupid things I said and did. and constantly wished to be in another body. luckily I had people looking out for me. My family, even the boys all encouraged me and my art career. and all the teachers had something nice to say about me. I was admired for my individuality and uniqueness and also for how I didn't like following the crowd. I got closer to God and he helped me reveal problems I had over the years but never really saw, like how spoiled I was. not spoiled in an “everything must be my way” way, more spoiled in an “ i cant do some things on my own” way it wasn't really my parent's fault. they didn't have a lot growing up, so they wanted to provide all they could for me. So being Independent physically was something I needed to learn. 

      After graduation, my parents enrolled me in the great lakes college of Toronto, in Canada, for the pre-university course, since they thought I was too young for a university. I was worried about being surrounded by white people for an entire year and was scared I wouldn't fit in yet again. but to my surprise and joy, there were a lot of other Nigerian kids there too. I have never known the meaning of the word relief until that moment. it was the first time I'm staying on my own in a foreign country and it was good to be with people from the same country. I traveled with some kids who were children of my parent's friends all coincidentally going to the same school as me, so I wasn't completely alone. 

       I met some wonderful people and teachers, I met students who I could talk too, who understood me in a way and who didn't treat me like an outcast. I still pretty much stay on my own but it's not out of loneliness. I am learning to come out of my shell.

[gracie-j]

school life

        Life in my secondary school was pretty much alright from the beginning, nothing especially significant occurred. but things started going bad when I reached SS2. from JSS 1 - 3 and some parts of SS1 things were pretty good. but unfortunately, I wasn't like I was in in primary school. everything felt different. almost everyone was mean and nasty and there was just an atmosphere of dread. I hanged out with some of the girls in my class but later on, I realized they were not my friends, and unfortunately I never really had any friends from that school.

         As we all got older they got worse. they were rude, obnoxious, disrespectful, awful s@$%ts and only the Lord knew how miserable I was, and it only got worse when my Father got a promotion. now my father getting a promotion is in no way bad, its what followed that was bad. the promotion required him to moved back to Bonnie permanently and the family had to follow and like I mentioned before, there were no secondary schools so I and my sister had to move to the hostel the school had. I tried to hang out with my sister's friends. they liked me, but unfortunately, it caused them to disrespect me a lot. it was pathetic since they were all a grade lower than me.

      life in school was bad enough but the hostel was unbearable. my sister had friends but the only person in my grade was this b$%@h who I really really really didn't like so I was alone, but at least I had my sister to talk to. we cam to Bonnie on holidays. our brothers got to stay since they hadn't started secondary school yet.

     In school, I started staying on my own more and more. the library was where I would spend most of my free time. in fact, books and art were the only things the kept me sane. I didn't like the way my classmates acted, the way they dressed, the way they treated others, I grew up in a Christian home so I had a strong moral value, but I guess something about the way I was led everyone to think I was some stuck up, sanctimonious know it all who thought she was better than everyone. they talked about me behind my back, and would often gang up on me, if someone had an argument then the rest of the class would join in happily.They liked to forget I was a human being, so they emphasized the most trivial of mistakes or called me out for silly things like not wanting to share a snack or arguing with someone. they loved it when I got in trouble. and they loved accusing me of things they themselves did all the time.

       I couldn't really call them bad people because once in a while we were nice to each other but I always kept my distance. and for the most part they were awful especially this particular girl named Angel, who was anything but, she and her best friend, who was the b%$# I mentioned earlier, were basically the leaders, they were like those popular girls you saw on tv. Angel liked to act like I was the reason alone we weren't friends when in actuality she treated me like crap. she would all nicey nice once in a while but truly she was a b$%@&.

            she would make fun of me, and say nasty stuff while I was in the same room with her and she knew I could hear. so whenever she was around I tried as much as possible to avoid any form of interaction with her, and for some reason, this annoyed her. she acted like she was trying her hardest to be my friend and I was some unfriendly monster. I developed anger issues and got easily annoyed. the only real friend I had was the vice principal, who as annoying as he could be, was like a second father to me.

[gracie-j]

       we all moved to Lagos and life started out good. I had friends and aced all my classes, teachers loved me. I did and said dumb things but I was young and for the most part happy. I was blissfully ignorant and didn't really have anything major or truly significant happened in my life. I was happy.

             My father still worked in Bonnie island as an engineer. My mother was a stay at home mom, but she counseled the kids and teenagers in the church we went to, they loved her. 

          I have loved cartoons since the day I was born. those cartoons were my comfort and inspiration. at the age of 12, i discovered anime, and it was a whole new world for me. when I told my parents I wanted to be an artist/animator, they...didn't take it all that well, and I guess I couldn't blame them. being an animator was hard enough, but in Nigeria, oh man. but eventually, they saw it was my passion and started to encourage me.

            My siblings and I got along better than most. we fought a lot, but what siblings don't, admittedly I am not the best big sister. but I will defend those little monsters in a pinch. we all loved movies, cartoons, video games and talking about our parents behind their backs. I got glasses at age 12 and I am soon to get braces because life decided I wasn't geeky enough.

[gracie-j]

         My parents had my sister a year later after me, a few months after she was born we moved to Port-Harcourt because Bonnie had no secondary schools. Port-Harcourt is where my parents gave birth to my twin brothers. Life in Port-Harcourt was really nothing special. but we had to move as I was starting grade 4 because of a kidnapping problem happening in our state at the time. I went to a private primary school called Laura Stephens, where I graduated a year early.

       I am an artist, I have always been an artist for as long as I can remember and that's what I want to be when I become an adult, specifically an animator.I am a Christian, bibliophile, a dreamer, etc. I love cartoons, sleeping in, being lazy, my Christianity, animals, food, movies, traveling ( the destinations, not the process), music, imagining etc. I won't talk about things I hate because they're all kinda obvious like racism, bullying etc.

[gracie-j]

MY LIFE STORY

          Hello, my name is Chiemela Grace Joseph. my last name used to be Odii-abia but it got changed for religious reasons. I was born on February 10th, 2001, a month earlier than expected, on a small island called Bonnie island. located near the state Port-Harcourt, in the country of Nigeria.

           I am from the Igbo tribe, but I can’t speak my language since I was never taught, I only managed to pick up small bits of words I heard around the house, like body parts, greetings, and commands like “Meche onu” which meant ‘be quiet’ or ‘shut up’. I heard that one a lot. I am the oldest of my siblings. my parents had my sister a year after I was born and my twin brothers another five years later

[gracie-j]

WHY I LOVE THESE SONGS

1. I cry by Flo Rida - this was the very first song I listened to when I first discovered MTV. the music really touched me. it shows how messed up the world is but how we can change it if we have hope.

2. whos laughing now by Jessie j - this is a song that makes me feel empowered because I was bullied a little in secondary school. when I listen to this song I’m reminded of how the past doesn't matter and how I can become something great, and how I don't need to fit in with the group.

3. I am woman by Jordin Sparks - this song gets me pumped. I love female empowering songs and this one is the best so far. it just makes me feel so good to be a girl.and it gives new meaning to girl power.it makes me feel proud to be a feminist.

4. Smile by Avril Lavigne - this is one of those songs I like to play when I feel sad, it just lifts my spirits in a way I cant explain. and gives me a sort of giddy, happy feeling. it's the kind of song that makes me feel like sing loudly and dancing like no ones around

5. Let's see how far we've come by matchbox 20 - I absolutely cannot get enough of this song. it just makes me feel inspired. I remember the first time I listened to it I told my sister “ as soon as I achieve my dream I’m gonna play this song. the lyrics move me and give me a sort of hope for my future. sometimes i play it and fantasize about who I'm gonna become later in life.

[gracie-j]

SONGS THAT I LOVE

1. I Cry - Flo Rida

2. whos laughing now - Jessie J

3. I am woman - Jordin Sparks

4. Smile - Avril Lavigne

5. How far we've come - Matchbox 20

[gracie-j]

         I absolutely adored the book, Matilda. it was one of my favorite books growing up, by one of my favorite childhood authors. I read it between the ages of 10 to 12. I actually saw the movie first on tv, and frankly, it is one of the few times the movie is just as good as the book.

      Matilda is fairly popular so I don't think I need to explain the story too much.but basically, it's about this young girl who is a genius and has some sort of telekinetic powers, who helps a young teacher in her school, take revenge on the evil headmistress. 

     I loved the character, Matilda, because I relate to her on a personal level. she loves to read and escape to her own world, she didn't fit in with her family, who weren't good people and she didn't mind what others viewed her as. The thing this novel teaches me is how children can be different from their parents and make their own paths. Matilda’s parents don't treat her right. they are dishonest, rude and self-centered, but Matilda values justice, honesty, and kindness. that is very important to me now because I love my parents to bits and they are good people, but I see many things in them I don't want to be and I don't want to repeat. who my parent are is different from I am, what they belief is different from what I believe. looking back on Matilda this was a lesson the book really sold.

        I also, at the time liked how she was a girl, which is more or less significant to me now. a young female role model was kind of rare and this made me love her more.the way she enjoyed learning about things kids her age don't care about, inspired me to want to learn a lot, not things like math and politics, just a lot of interesting things, I'm not described as book smart but I grew a fair amount of intelligence at a young age because of this. I enjoyed how clever she was and another character I loved was miss honey. I liked how she cared for Matilda, the way her parents never did and I liked how she was encouraged to learn higher levels of things. I enjoyed the feelings I got when everyone got a happy ending and the headmistress got what she deserved.

            The book taught me a lot about how being different, is nothing to be ashamed about and how all children, whether or not they have any particularly special talents, need to be nurtured and cared for. because that kind of thing is what shapes good people. it also taught how learning is important and kindness is important.